


Shadowplay

by findingsaturn



Series: Forest of Souls [1]
Category: My Chemical Romance
Genre: Alternate Universe, Angst, Ghost Gerard Way, Horror, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Magic, Paranormal Investigator Frank Iero, Sad and Sweet, Science Fiction & Fantasy, Sexual Content, Slow Burn
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-03
Updated: 2020-05-28
Packaged: 2020-11-22 09:50:51
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 27
Words: 147,027
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20872241
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/findingsaturn/pseuds/findingsaturn
Summary: Malimore is a small town in Southern California where ghosts are as common as any other household pest and vampires come out to steal the souls of humans at midnight. Frank Iero is a young paranormal investigator whose interest in the supernatural began after the bizarre and untimely death of his parents. One day, when he and his partner take on a particularly gruesome case, all hell breaks loose with Frank caught at the very center. This is the story of how it all happened.





	1. Prologue

I feel so much and I feel so little.

Hell isn’t really a place. It’s more of a state of mind. It’s where we all end up eventually, for some span of time, whether we’re dead or alive. I only wish my Hell had come to me while my heart was still beating. At least then there would’ve been some sort of barrier to keep it from consuming me entirely. Now, if I try hard enough, I can touch it. Death stripped away any sense of security I had on earth. Hell is all around me.

There’s a reason I ended up this way. That reason has a name and a face and a soul that shines painfully bright. I want to loathe them with every ounce of my being, but something holds me back from succumbing fully to my hatred. Even in Death, it seems, I care too damn much about people for my own good.

That last ounce of humanity doesn’t stop me from creating chaos, however. Some say they won’t go down without a fight. Well, here I am, fighting in my own twisted way. Fighting in a manner that my past self would have detested. Sometimes I detest it even now, but it’s the only thing I have left. It’s the only thing that keeps my reality from knocking me down and hurting me more than I could ever imagine. I can still feel the pain of what I’ve become, but I refuse to pay any mind to it outside of violence and fits of rage. If I did, I think I would go insane. That is, if I’m not already there. I’ve fallen so far since the day I died…

But I didn’t really die, I suppose. I was sentenced to an in-between existence, stuck in this purgatory until the one human being keeping me here mercifully passes away. The fires of Hell itself don’t sound so excruciating now. This is the true torment. This is what it takes to break the strongest of minds.

We all go to Hell, really. It watches us, learns what makes us tick and what makes us shatter. Then it strikes. It’s personal. It gets under your skin and into your blood. If Hell was just a place, I don’t think it would be deserving of its name.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi there! Thank you so much for checking out my story!
> 
> This is my first time writing fanfic in like...hmm, five years? So if it's a little rough, I apologize. That being said, feedback and constructive criticism are always greatly appreciated! And fear not: future chapters will be longer, and they won't all be written like this one.
> 
> I'm suuuper excited to write this and I hope you stick around and enjoy reading it. It's gonna be a little dark, a little spooky, and maybe even a little heartbreaking. In other words, it's gonna be a wild ride, kiddos.
> 
> *
> 
> Update: This story is being edited as of 11/21/20. There won't be any major changes but now that it's been up for a year, I thought I would go through and touch it up! (Am I tempted to rewrite the entire thing? ...Perhaps. Hopefully I'll be able to get around to it someday!)
> 
> Also, I forgot to mention in my old note that most of this is, in fact, written in the third person. Just in case you're someone who doesn't enjoy first person, lol. I hope you enjoy! <3


	2. Kyoto Song

_“I’m lying on the floor of the night before / With a stranger lying next to me.”_

* * *

**_09.27.2003_ **

Frank was so sick of waking up to headaches. Half the time he wasn’t even hungover. It just wasn’t fair.

His eyes were tightly shut, but he could still see the morning light streaming in through his threadbare curtains. It painted the backs of his eyelids a dark orange color that did nothing but worsen the throbbing in his skull. It felt as if it was eating away at his brains and it made his stomach roil almost unbearably, to the point where he couldn’t go back to sleep if his life depended on it. The pain was cruel enough to keep him awake, just barely. Frank groaned at this realization and rolled over to curl tightly into himself. He hadn’t even been conscious for a full minute and he was already annoyed. It was supposed to be his day off, but his headache and the godforsaken sun had decided to rob him of his sleep. It wasn’t fair, it wasn’t fair…

Frank opened his eyes and stared at the pale gray wall in front of him, projecting all of his frustration and his pain onto it. He’d decided long ago that his insomnia was probably a curse thrust upon him by some sadistic cosmic entity. He had tried everything he could to stop it, but it didn’t take him long to realize that nothing was going to work. No, really, _nothing _ever helped. It was quite an anomaly; even his doctor said so. And even though Frank had a fascination with the unusual and the darkest depths of the unknown, he would rather keep those things separate from his sleep cycle. He guessed not everything could be that easy, though.

Frank slowly rolled over and pushed himself up so he could sit on the edge of his bed, taking a minute to adjust to being upright. Lights danced in front of his eyes and his head swam for a moment, accompanied by a loud buzzing in his ears. Yet another wave of nausea rolled over him, stronger this time, and he crossed his arms over his stomach as if that would ward it off. God, he hated his body sometimes. He knew that was ridiculous and he should really be grateful that he was functional…well, for the most part. But damn, mornings like this made that really difficult.

After a few minutes, Frank’s head stopped spinning and he was able to get up and trudge to his kitchen. He shivered as he walked down the hallway – his house was cold just like it always was. It was old and the heater didn’t work very well, but Frank was far too frugal to replace it as long as it wasn’t _technically _broken. Once he got to the kitchen, he searched through his medicine cabinet for Advil and made a small noise in celebration when he found the bottle. He popped a couple in his mouth, swallowing them down with copious amounts of water, realizing he felt dehydrated and achy and exhausted like he’d just run a mile. He couldn’t really figure out why. Maybe he was getting sick…

Frank made his way back to his room as quickly as he could and fell into bed, grateful for the warmth of the blankets around him even if he couldn’t fall back asleep. He curled up and hugged a pillow to his chest for some sort of added comfort and warmth, and to his surprise, as he got cozier and let himself relax more, his eyelids began to grow heavier. Maybe he was actually going to be able to drift off. As he laid there phasing back and forth between consciousness and something in the middle of that and sleep, bits and pieces of the dreams he’d had the night before began coming back to him. They weren’t nice dreams, but they weren’t terrible either. Instead, they were disorienting and unsettling. Frank’s heart started beating a little harder, and the part of him that was still awake grew incredibly aware of the silence that surrounded him. It was so intense that it was tangible, and it was _cold_. Not cold like his house was, but cold in a different way. In an empty way.

In the eye of Frank’s mind, he saw darkness. It was so close he probably could’ve touched it if he really tried. It swirled around him like ink in water, surrounding and devouring every empty iota of space, and there was no escape. It was everywhere. It was everything. If it were sentient it would’ve been laughing at him. And maybe it was sentient, with the way it seemed to move and breathe with intelligent calculation. Frank knew that at any moment he could open his eyes and he would be back in the waking world, safe from the darkness, but something compelled him not to. He really didn’t want to listen to the voice inside his head persuading him to stay inside the yawning void, not at all. But he did anyway.

He was there for what felt like an eternity, or maybe even a million eternities, before he actually _was _close enough to touch the darkness. Or rather, the darkness had drawn close enough to touch _him_. It felt feathery and wispy and like ice-cold fire all at once as it swept across Frank’s exposed skin. The sensation was so overwhelming, and his heart began to pound harder and harder against his ribs at a rapidly increasing rate. He was suffocating, choking on the inky blackness, lashing out and clawing at it in vain. His chest ached and every single instinct was screaming at him to flee. He had to escape or lash out or do _something _or else he was surely going to die. All he had to do was open his eyes. 

Suddenly, the sensation increased tenfold in one concentrated area over his hipbone. Now, Frank had scalded himself before, a few years ago when he tripped in his kitchen and spilled a pot of boiling water over his bare feet. It had resulted in second-degree burns that hurt terribly for weeks after the accident, but that feeling vastly paled in comparison to _this_. Even though this pain was incomprehensible, Frank could still feel every bit of it. His brain had no idea how to process what was happening, and he’d never experienced truly unadulterated panic like this before. It felt like the terror and loss of control that came with being trapped in a confined space but amplified beyond anything Frank ever could have imagined. His mouth fell open in a silent scream and his flailing body went totally rigid. He was going to have a heart attack, he was going to die, he was going to die, he couldn’t breathe, he was going to –

His phone rang.

Frank sat up so quickly that his entire body lurched forward a good few inches. It felt like his stomach was falling through the floor while his heart shot up through the ceiling, tearing him apart. He was hyperventilating and his vision was fuzzy and he couldn’t even think and _god_, that was the most horrible nightmare he’d ever had in his entire fucking life. He didn’t realize he was crying until he tasted his tears in the corners of his mouth.

_What the fuck, what the fuck, what the fuck…_

The phone stopped ringing and that snapped Frank out of his trance a bit. He focused on taking deep breaths and grabbed his comforter tightly in both hands. Grounding, he needed to ground himself, he needed to remember he was real and the world around him was real and that gaping blackness was all just inside his head. He looked around his room and deliberately listed off every object he could find. His pulse was a bit slower now, his breaths were a bit deeper, he was still crying but it felt more like a release of built-up fear…

The phone rang again, making Frank jump, but he quickly reached over to grab it and see who was calling. 

It was Ray. It was Ray at 7 a.m. on a Saturday, and not to mention their day off. Either something really exciting was happening, so exciting that he just couldn’t wait to tell Frank about it, or something had gone terribly, impossibly wrong. And Frank had a sneaking suspicion that it was the latter.

He answered the call and held the phone up to his ear. He was nervous but he pushed the feeling aside. “Hey,” he said, wincing at the sound of his own voice. It was weak and gravelly.

“Hi.” Ray sounded unsure of himself and that was already a bad sign. “Uh, sorry if I woke you up, but…you’re not doing anything today, right?”

Frank knit his brow. “No…” He wasn’t going to worry, not yet.

There was a bit of a pause as if Ray was trying to think of what to say next. The silence was broken when he took a deep breath and let it out in a sigh. “We got a new case.”

Oh. That was weird… “What do you mean?” Frank asked. They didn’t take any cases officially without following a thorough procedure first to make sure it was the real deal. Ray knew that. The fact that he was so adamant made Frank’s anxiety spike.

“Well, Officer Bradley called me a minute ago. Said he tried calling you and you didn’t answer or something. Anyway, he gave me an address, told me to head over. So I got here and…” Ray took a shuddery breath. “Fuck, dude, it’s…”

Frank sat up a little straighter and pressed the phone more firmly against his ear. His heart rate was rising again as hot, nervous sparks began to run down his spine. He hated not knowing what was going on and he hated hearing his friend this upset even more. “Ray?” he asked in a small voice after yet another moment of silence. 

“Just. I’ll tell you later.” Ray’s voice was suddenly tense. “Just get here soon, please. I’ll text you the address. Please.”

During the years Frank had known Ray, he’d never heard him this shaken up over _anything_. That was kind of incredible, considering the type of work they did, so what on earth had happened that was terrible enough to affect him like this? Frank was itching to rush out of his apartment and get there now, wherever _there_ was. Suddenly he didn’t care very much about his dream or his persistent headache that still lingered in his skull. “Got it, be there in a minute,” he said. “Are you alright, by the way?”

And for the third time during their call, there was a pause that felt like it lasted for hours. Frank chewed on his lip ring, feeling incredibly nervous. Ray _had_ to be okay, even though it was pretty clear at this point that he wasn’t. He was always the strong one in tough situations.

“Just get here. I gotta go.” And then he hung up.

Frank lowered his phone and stared at the blank screen for a minute. He felt dread. _Intense _dread. He tried to tell himself it was just the result of the horrible combination of events that had occurred that morning and not some godawful instinctual thing. He propelled himself up out and bed and nearly collapsed as new pain hit him like a bullet. He had to clamp a hand over his mouth to keep from crying out.

A sharp burning sensation radiated across his right hip, worsening every time he tried to take a step. Frank had no idea why it hadn’t hurt until he’d stood up, but it honest to god felt like he had been stabbed. His first response was to throw back his bedsheets and search for anything that could’ve cut him. He had no idea what he was even looking for or how it could’ve gotten there, and he started to panic when he realized he was coming up short. Surely there had the be some sort of rational explanation. Maybe he’d been sleepwalking and he had hurt himself in the process.

Ha. Rational explanation. Said the paranormal investigator.

Frank wondered if assessing the wound would help him figure out what had happened. So as much as he really, really didn’t want to, he limped over to his mirror, panting heavily and sweating all over. He took a deep breath and pulled down the waistband of his boxers, and– Oh god, he was going to be sick.

It wasn’t just a cut. His skin was literally torn. There was a ragged gash running across his hipbone, big enough to completely ruin the tattoo Frank had there, but that was the least of his worries. By far.

The wound wasn’t bleeding. In fact, it was so eerily clean that it worried Frank more than if it had been gushing blood. He could see the layers of skin underneath, all jaggedly torn to shreds, and it looked as if the cut was only millimeters away from exposing the muscle underneath. The top layer of skin was tinted a dark greenish gray around the perimeter of the wound like it was rotting or something, but it didn’t have any odor as far as Frank could tell. Seriously, what the fuck? Maybe this was all just another dream.

Fortunately, the pain had miraculously subsided. Frank wasn’t really sure why, he was just grateful he was able to move his leg around with relative ease now. He covered up the wound and stepped away from the mirror, heaving a sigh as he fell down on his bed and held his hand in his hands. A million questions were running through his mind, each one more startling than the last, but Frank heard a text alert from across the room and he remembered he had someplace he needed to be. So, he decided to deal with whatever the hell was going on in the same way he dealt with most of his problems – by sucking it up and ignoring it.

Frank was happy with his resolution for the time being. He got up, threw on a change of clothes, brushed his teeth, and made a pot of coffee as quickly as he could. The coffee was marginal in comparison to everything else that was going on, but Frank swore he needed it to function. He especially needed it today, since he hadn’t gotten much sleep and he still had that damn headache. So he poured the coffee into a thermos as soon as it was done brewing, not bothering to add in anything else, and grabbed his backpack full of gear from the floor where he’d last left it. Finally, he headed out the door to his car. The air outside was chilly with the first breath of autumn and Frank wished he’d brought a jacket. It seemed like he was always cold lately. He hopped in his car and backed out of his driveway right away, too hurried and distracted to worry about putting on music, and he was off.

If only Frank knew what was in store for him at the old, near-empty house across town, he wouldn’t have bothered with the coffee. He would be vomiting it all up later anyway.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> {The Cure - Kyoto Song}
> 
> Thanks for reading! :)


	3. The Small Print

_“Say, it’ll make you insane / And it’s bending the truth.”_

* * *

** _11.05.1985_ **

I feel so much and I feel so little.

Pine needles. Dirt. Denim. Fabric. Rocks. Mud. Rope. I can still hear my best friend’s voice telling me goodnight over the phone, can still taste the hot chocolate I drank as I did my homework in my bedroom floor. Beyond a certain point, there are a lot of things I don’t really remember.

All I know is now I feel pain and cold and rope. Rope up my forearms and down to my wrists, twining around my hands and stopping my blood from flowing into my fingers. Rope digging into my calves and chafing the protruding bones in my ankles. Rope around my upper body and rope around my neck. Rough cloth scraping my eyelids and drying my tears. More shoved into my mouth so that my tongue is pinned behind my teeth. One bottom tooth is missing, I notice, as I run my tongue along the back of them. Bloody flesh has been left in its place. I agitate the open wound to distract myself from sheer reality. It works, and the pain is enough to make my head spin.

A pair of hands strike a match right next to my ear. I gasp. I’ve been snapped back to real life and it feels all too vivid. I can’t see what’s going on but my imagination is racing. My breaths are quick and raggedy now as I pull against the rope and stretch my fingers out, searching for something to hold onto. What will become of me? I refuse to let my mind wander to the list of horrendous possibilities. I don’t even know where I am or how I got here in the first place.

Then there’s a hand in my hair, and I’m being shifted a few inches to the left. The ground underneath me scrapes my bare back, but I’m too distracted to really focus on the pain. I would beg for my life through the gag in my mouth if I remembered how to speak. It’s all so confusing… And where did my shirt go?

“We’re ready,” a low voice grumbles. The hand tightens in my hair and the rope around my neck is pulled back until I’m choking. I realize it feels like a noose and my breathing becomes even heavier.

“Bitch.” This voice is different. It’s a bit higher but it’s much raspier. He smokes. I can smell it on his breath. Breath in my face. He’s right above me. For a moment I can feel his body heat.

The lower voice grunts. “There’s no need for that, now is there?” I can see a warm orange glow through the thin blindfold before I hear another match being struck. “Never did anything to ya.” A few seconds pass before the glow brightens just a bit.

“Never did anything to _you_ either, but here we are,” the higher voice sneers. “No point in being so cordial.” Something bumps hard against the bottom of my shoe. I’m assuming it was the higher voice’s foot. “_Bitch_.”

I can see the lower voice roll his eyes, even though I can’t really. The tone of their bickering seems lighthearted even if it’s at my expense. It doesn’t fit the mood of the situation at all, at least not from my point of view. It’s unnerving.

“Why does he always take the pretty ones?” the higher voice queries after a long span of silence broken only by occasional footsteps and more matches being struck. “They’d be so much better for other things.”

The lower voice scoffs. “I thought you _liked _seeing the pretty ones squirm.” A pause. “You like this one?”

The higher voice grunts in response. More silence follows.

“Shame, really. Sweet kid,” the lower voice says. I hear fabric rustling, and now I feel the backs of knuckles running across my face. If I wasn’t so dazed, I would pull away. “Face like that could win just about anyone over.”

“I _do _like seeing them squirm,” the higher voice mumbles, cutting off the lower’s rambling. “Under different circumstances.”

“Well, tough luck,” the lower voice says. I hear one of them rub their palms together, and then more footsteps, and then what sounds like sand being poured on the ground right beside my ear. “I don’t like this either, you know. Not my fault he dumps all his dirty work on us.” 

“Yeah, dirty work is one way of putting it.” Then a heavy object hits the ground right next to me, and then there’s another on my other side. The more I wake up the more I start to panic, and the more I start to process the limited information that my brain is taking in. I have no idea who the fuck these people are or what the fuck is going on or why the fuck I’m outdoors. And holy shit, are they trying to say that if it was up to them they would…? Holy shit. And if it’s not up to them then who _is _responsible for all of this, whatever _this_ is?

A cold, metallic object is placed on my bare chest, over my sternum. There’s no force behind it, it’s just set there like it needs to be kept out of the way. I whimper in fear before I can stop myself because oh god, the edges are sharp, and it feels like a knife. I’m starting to come to the full realization that this is probably going to end very, very badly for me. My heart is pounding wildly now, and I pull harder against my restraints. The voices have gone quiet and I don’t like it at all. I can feel them watching me.

There are some more sounds – scraping and footsteps and sand and metal. I’m crying hard enough now for my tears to leak through my blindfold, and the quiet, pathetic sobs that have been building up in my chest finally break free. I hate it. I hate all of this. I want to go home. I want to remember how I got here. I want the gag removed from my mouth so that I can beg for my life, or maybe even demand an explanation.

“Hey, shh.” It’s the lower voice. I feel a large, calloused hand in my hair, pushing it back from my face. Fingers run over my scalp, but it isn’t soothing to me, not at all. I just cry harder, writhing against the ground until it’s cutting up my back. I begin to remember how to speak, how to scream, and I try the best I can to form words. They come out as distorted shrieks until pain blossoms over my ribcage. I realize one of the fuckers kicked me. 

“Shut up,” the higher voice hisses. I do my best to muffle my cries afterwards.

_Please, please, let me live through the night. Please…_

There’s more stomping before I feel heat on my face, and the orange glow intensifies. It must be fire, and I picture an open flame right next to me. _Fuck._

The lower voice’s hand moves from my hair to grip my chin, pushing it up. I can sense his face right next to mine and I don’t even dare breathe. There’s a long moment of silence electrified by fear and tension, and then he pushes up the blindfold for half a second before he pulls it back again. I didn’t even have time to open my eyes, to steal a glance at him and form a picture in my mind that could be vital later on. That is, if I even make it out of here alive. I keep trying to hold on to hope that I will.

The man sighs as he lets go of my chin. “He does always take the pretty ones, doesn’t he?”

And those are the last words I hear.

They both walk around my body a few more times, periodically setting different items on the ground. My trembling form stills against my will when they begin uttering hushed phrases, delicate whispers slipping rhythmically through their lips. My body is calm, but my mind is still racing, thinking back to all the hours I’ve spent studying witchcraft in school, and to all the witches I’ve encountered and befriended who have a skip in their step and a mysterious twinkle in their eyes. By now I’ve come to the conclusion that whatever they’re doing to me is witchcraft too, but none of those past experiences were anything like this. I realize, with increasing panic, that this is the ugly side of the practice that we were always warned about in school. We were taught that magic is a tool to be used for good or evil, for creation or destruction. And this…this is nothing but darkness.

With a stab of excruciating sadness, I think of my family. They’ll never know what happened to me. They’ll never get to spend another day with me. Shit, are _they _safe? I pray that they are, and that they weren’t dragged into this horror too. 

Then I feel a sensation that human language could never do any justice. It’s like I’m floating, free, hanging in the air. But at the same time, I feel like I’m being drained of life and breath, being pulled deeper and deeper into the ground with every second that passes.

And now I know that this is it. I’m going to die. I’m going to fucking die.

And just as I finish my thought, I realize the knife is in my chest. It’s splintered my bones and pierced my heart. There’s blood in my mouth, blood everywhere. I can taste it, smell it, feel it, and I choke and try to scream, but the sound comes out as a gurgle as even more ruby red life gushes from my throat. My limbs spasm, my body fights to keep itself alive. The pain is blinding. I’m slipping away.

The floating part of me is yanked downwards. Not into the ground, but somewhere else. It’s yet another feeling I’m not able to describe or even fully comprehend. And suddenly, the pain stops, and the falling is all I can feel. It goes on for what seems like an eternity before the motion of my body finally stills.

I take a breath and open my eyes. The darkness around me is all I can see, and it’s one I never could have imagined before now. It’s impossibly darker than the backs of my eyelids or any other pitch blackness I’ve ever seen. It’s like despair personified.

And then, not too far off in the distance, I see a figure prowling towards me. It looks human, but I know with a sinking feeling in my gut that it’s really, really not. I’m frozen in place with nowhere to run and nowhere to hide. The darkness is everything. I can’t escape the grip of eternity. 

As the figure makes its way closer I can make out more of its features. It appears to be a man with deathly pale skin and eyes that are completely white – no color, no pupils, just white. He’s dressed in a dark red robe that hides his figure for the most part, but his broad shoulders suggest that he’s strong. His white-blonde hair falls past his shoulders and his gaunt, boney face is juxtaposed with everything else about him. He stops a few feet away from me, and when he opens his mouth to smile, it stretches unnaturally wide. A gold liquid drips from it, down his chin and onto his robe, and I can smell it from several feet away. It’s sweet and floral, but it’s so strong that it makes me sick to my stomach. The nausea only worsens when I see his teeth, jagged and silver and needle-like, and covered in the thick molten gold that’s still falling past his lips.

I stumble backwards, too terrified to scream or even fucking _think_, and then I start to fall again. But this time the falling makes my stomach roil until I’m drowning in my own discomfort.

A voice speaks through the darkness, loud enough for me to hear over the rushing in my ears. It sounds cold and ancient and sinister, and it’s so evil that it makes me feel like I’m withering.

“Hello there, Gerard,” it says, and my fear spikes because not only does it know my name, but it knows it has me now, and there’s absolutely _nothing _I can do about it. It continues, sickly sweet. “After all this time, it’s so wonderful to be able to meet you properly. I _do _hope you’ll enjoy your stay, seeing as you’ll be here for quite a while.”

Then my terror overtakes me. I lose consciousness.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> {Muse - The Small Print}


	4. Frightened

_“And in a dark room you’d see more than you think / I’m out of my place, got to get back.”_

* * *

**_09.27.2003_ **

Malimore was a small town, so the drive to the house in question only took Frank a few minutes. That was a good thing if you asked him, because it was less time he had to desperately try not to dwell on all the anxious thoughts running through his head. What waited for him when he arrived at his destination? What had his nightmare meant? What the _hell_ happened to his hip? It still hurt, just a little, as his clothing rubbed up against it. Frank took note of this with dismay.

He gripped the steering wheel tightly with one hand and used the other to chug his coffee, keeping his mind as blank as he possibly could. And then, finally, after a few more twists and turns through the town square and the surrounding neighborhoods, Frank arrived at his destination.

The house wasn’t anything particularly special. It was old, yes, but many of the houses on the east side of Malimore were. Not quite old enough to fall apart as long as they were maintained, but just old enough to harbor an air of deep nostalgia. These dated neighborhoods always made Frank feel a sentimental pull in his chest. He wasn’t really sure why, as he didn’t have any kind of emotional connection to them. He guessed it was just the evident passage of time.

When he parked along the street in front of the house Ray had sent him directions to, the pull only intensified, as did his lingering dread. It was caution taped off, as he had expected it to be, but he only spotted one police car parked along the side of the street. That probably meant whatever it was that happened had taken place a while ago, long enough for everyone to arrive at the scene and do their jobs before Frank got there. He would have more space to fully assess the house now, which was more than okay with him.

He texted Ray to let him know he’d arrived and got out of the car. The cracking pavement crunched underneath his feet as he walked to the front stoop of the house. He knocked on the door, jittery and timid, and waited for someone to answer.

As Frank stood there he took note of the run-down state of the house. It looked like it had been nice several years ago before neglect had taken its toll. Cobwebs and grime littered the doorstep, and the brick walls were cracked and dull in color. Frank twisted his mouth to the side as he examined the decay, wondering what the story was behind the old house and its inhabitants. Maybe the average observer wouldn’t notice these things, but Frank had always been a little too curious for his own good. He was so lost in thought that he jumped once the door creaked open.

Ray was standing in the doorway looking somber as ever, and Frank’s stomach dropped even further upon seeing his expression. He looked on-edge and exhausted at the same time. Frank guessed, based on his disheveled appearance, that he’d rolled out of bed and headed straight over to the scene after getting the call from the police station. It really must’ve been urgent, if that was the case.

“Hey,” Ray said, opening the door a little further for Frank to step through the threshold. Frank halfway smiled and mumbled a greeting in reply as he stepped inside, immediately taking in his new surroundings.

He had just walked into the living room, and from what he could see, the house was just as faded on the inside as it was on the outside. The interior was frozen in time, stuck in some past decade while most other people had chosen to modernize their living spaces. The carpet, the furniture, the drapes, the decorations…all of it took Frank back to an era he could hardly even remember.

There were old photographs scattered across the walls and every flat surface Frank could see. Most of them were baby pictures, some of them were school pictures, some of them were portraits of who Frank assumed was the pictured children’s parents. There were a few framed drawings here and there, all of them messy and childish. And now that he thought about it, the layout and the way the living room was decorated strongly reminded Frank of _his_ parents’ house before he had made it his own. That was so long ago, all the way back before… 

The door was shut, snapping Frank out of his thoughts, and Ray heaved a sigh. Frank turned around and watched him pinch the bridge of his nose. “Sorry if I freaked you out, man. Stuff usually doesn’t get to me like this.”

Frank knit his brow and took a step forward to place a hand on Ray’s shoulder. Not only was seeing his friend upset disconcerting, but it made his heart feel heavy too. He wanted to provide some sort of comfort, even if he wasn’t great at that sort of thing. “That’s okay… So, what happened?”

“Well, Bradley woke me up this morning. I already told you that, right? Yeah. So…basically, what happened was they got a call last night. It was the kid who lives here, he kept rambling about an explosion or something. The operator couldn’t get him to say anything coherent other than his name and his address. They didn’t really know whether or not to believe him, but they came over here and it turns out there actually was an explosion. Kind of. You’ll see. Anyway, they called me because it’s fucked up and it doesn’t make sense, and that’s our thing, right?” Ray inhaled deeply and shook his head. Frank swore he hadn’t breathed through his entire explanation. “Honestly? I don’t even know where to start on this one.”

“Okay, well,” Frank began, trying to make sense of everything, “do we have any idea what happened yet? Have you talked to the caller?”

Ray shook his head. “He’s in the hospital right now. I don’t know how bad he’s hurt but I heard he’s pretty shaken up, so we’ll probably wait until tomorrow to ask him any questions.”

Frank nodded. “So…an explosion, huh?” he asked. “How’d that happen?” And really, considering the weird, ambiguous way that Ray had described it, he wasn’t sure if he wanted to know.

“I have no clue,” Ray said. He took a shaky breath. “Frank, they think it was a person.”

Frank was confused for a moment, not quite making the connection he needed to. But then it hit him, and as soon as it did he could feel his stomach drop to the floor. It hadn’t been a bomb or a heating unit or a faulty appliance that had blown up, it had been a _person_. Spontaneous detonation, that was the proper term for it.

Frank could understand now why Ray was so disturbed. During the three years they’d been investigating together they had dealt with plenty of blood and gore, but not a person just fucking _blowing up_. Was it totally unheard of where they were from? For whatever damned reason, no, it wasn’t. Nothing was totally unheard of in a place like Malimore. But did that make it any less horrible? _Fuck_ no.

“You mean…?” Frank breathed.

Ray nodded. “Yeah. It’s fucked, dude. I’ve never seen anything like it.”

Frank sighed and dropped his backpack to the floor, bending down to retrieve his voice recorder from the front pocket. He glanced down the hallway to his left, taking note of the plastic sheets that covered the hardwood flooring. It was a mess, of course it was, and he already felt awful for whoever would have to clean it up. “Okay, well… I guess I should go take a look.”

“Yeah,” Ray said. “I just thought I would warn you first. It’s, uh…not very fun to walk in on, obviously.” He turned to walk toward the hallway, heavy boots thumping against the floor. Frank shoved the recorder in his pocket and followed hesitantly until they came to a door at the end.

Ray knocked a couple of times and pushed it open before anyone inside had the chance to answer, and Frank stood in the doorway with bated breath. He’d thought there wasn’t much of a point in preparing himself, but as soon as he took in the room before him he really wished he had. At least a little bit. 

There was so much blood on the walls that it was starting to look less like the remnants of a human and more like a bad paint job. If someone had brought Frank into this room a few minutes earlier, before his conversation with Ray, and told him that’s all it was, he probably would’ve believed them. That is, if the bits of rotting flesh were cleaned up off the floor, walls, ceiling, windows, _everywhere. _The remains were all in tatters, impossible to put back together, and perhaps by design. Luckily, the room was empty, so there wasn’t any furniture ruined.

But the worst part of it all was probably the _smell._ The aroma of blood that filled the room, laced with hints of rot and decay, was overwhelming. It made Frank’s eyes water, and he had to take a bit of a step back. This was part of his job, he couldn’t let it hold him back from figuring out what had happened, but _Jesus Christ._

Frank felt Ray’s hand on his shoulder, steadying him. He sighed and nodded to himself. He was ready to get to the bottom of the nightmare that laid before him.

Frank spotted Sam Bradley, head of the Malimore Police Department, approaching him from across the room. He had a deep grimace on his normally expressionless face. “Morning,” he grumbled, reaching out to pass Frank a pair of gloves and shoe coverings. “Put these on before you come in.”

Frank nodded and gladly complied.

“The CSI unit already has what they need, so you’re free to look around wherever you need to,” Bradley explained. “Our clairvoyant investigator thought calling you in would be our best option. It’s…not something you see every day.”

Frank chuckled darkly. “You’re right about that.” The carpet in the room was covered over by plastic like the hallway was, but it still squelched beneath his feet as he walked into the room. As he surveyed his surroundings, searching for immediate signs of paranormal activity, the first thing that crossed his mind was demons. He knew this kind of carnage usually had demonic origins.

“I assume Toro already gave you the lowdown?” Bradley asked.

“He did,” Frank said. He pulled the voice recorder from his pocket and began a new recording. It was always a good idea to have it running, just in case there was anything to be found later on during moments of silence.

“Guy who called is in the hospital. One of our detectives will let you know when he’s ready to talk tomorrow morning.” Bradley grimaced as he began making his way out of the room.

Frank nodded. “When did you get the call?” He examined the window, which appeared to have been blown out with the force of the explosion. 

“About twelve hours ago, give or take,” Bradley said. Thanks to the implementation of magic in their investigations, each team and unit could get what they needed from a crime scene very quickly. The inhabitants of Malimore and its surrounding towns had come to realize long ago that science and magic worked in harmony when blended properly.

“So around eight o’clock yesterday evening,” Frank mumbled, making a mental note. As he walked the perimeter of the room, he realized he wasn’t going to get much from observation with the naked eye. “Do you mind if I go ahead and leave some equipment set up here overnight? I just need some base readings and whatnot, to get a better idea of what’s going on.”

“That’s fine, do whatever you need to,” Bradley said. “So, any thoughts?”

Frank knit his brow. “I don’t really know yet. I mean,” he scanned the room again and shrugged his shoulders, “It _looks _demonic, but we know so little at this point. I would still err on the side of caution, though. Make sure anyone who comes back here has some sort of protection with them.” He glanced back at Ray who was standing by the door, scribbling down notes on a pad of paper. “We’ll go ahead and get started, and then probably come back sometime next week to take more readings.”

“Sounds good,” Bradley said. “Well, I’ll let you two do your thing. I’ll be around if you need me.”

Once Bradley had left the room, discarding his gloves and shoe coverings in the biohazard bin beside the door, Frank turned to Ray. “What are you thinking?”

Ray gave the room a once-over. “Well, I agree with you – looks demonic to me. Too violent to be a poltergeist, too messy to be a vampire or a witch. And I really doubt a ghost would be able to harness enough energy to cause this kind of explosion, so…if it _is_ paranormal, it’s a demon, probably.”

Frank nodded slowly. “We’ll really need to focus on researching the property, then. Maybe try to get in contact with some of the previous owners.” He left the room, knowing the smell would be stuck on him for days. “Well, I’ll set up the thermometers and cameras if you wanna map out the house and get some EMF readings.”

“Sure.” Ray turned away, going to grab his own gear, and Frank watched him go. He looked and sounded completely drained, and Frank didn’t blame him one bit after the morning he’d had.

Frank made his way back to the living room and began rummaging through his backpack. A few minutes later, as he began to prepare the selection of devices he needed to get his base readings, he gazed at the vast number of pictures scattered around out of sheer curiosity. He knew he would get some answers as to what the story behind this house was tomorrow, when he got to talk to the resident, but his curiosity was running wild. His eyes skimmed over the portraits and artwork hung up on the walls before one in particular made him stop and stare.

Pictured was a young man with sharp features and dark hair, a soft smile on his face and striking eyes that gleamed with genuine joy. It was a graduation photo, and “Class of ‘84” was painted on the bottom of the picture frame. It took Frank a moment to figure out why he looked so familiar, but as soon as he did he quickly looked away from the portrait and froze in complete shock. He had definitely seen a photo of this person before, and it was associated with memories he would really prefer not to recall. Memories just as gruesome as the carnage located in the room just a few feet away.

Frank didn’t want to think about what it could all mean. Surely it was just some terrible coincidence, or the boy in the picture just happened to look very similar to the one Frank had seen before. He tried his very best not to think about it and instead set to work as quickly as possible. He could process it some other time, preferably with the help of a trusted friend so he wouldn’t end up driving himself insane. 

Maybe when he and Ray were finished they could hang out at the Malimug – the little corner coffee shop in the town square. Not to research the house, but just to take their minds off all the gore for a little while. Besides, Frank knew there was no point in trying to go home and fully indulge in their day off now. Their minds were far too occupied by what they had just seen.

* * *

Well, Frank had definitely _not_ succeeded in not thinking about it. The picture, that is.

The longer he worked, the more his mind wandered back to it against his will, and the more he wondered why in the hell this all was happening right after the dream he’d had just a few hours before. And then his anxiety had kicked in, and he had become hyperaware of the smell of blood that lingered on his skin and in the air around him, and he had rushed outside just in time before he was regurgitating stomach acid and coffee into the dejected flowerbeds by the doorstep. 

He felt awful about it. Pathetic, actually. He couldn’t understand why he was reacting this way to something that should’ve rolled right off his back. This was his _job. _Even though he tended to be a bit more reactive than Ray, he was still relatively stoic after some of the shit he’d seen. He was _professional, _that was it. Or at least he thought he was until today.

But fortunately, nobody had been around to see him be sick. He hoped it was just his body’s reaction to being overwhelmed and now that it was over it wouldn’t happen again. He really, _really _hoped it didn’t have any more significance than that, and he prayed to whoever or whatever would listen that it didn’t have anything to do with his nightmare or the wound in his hip.

Everything after that was sort of a blur. Frank and Ray had wrapped up the initial examination, exchanged some parting words with Bradley, and headed to the Malimug. Frank was immensely grateful Ray had wanted to go because he was definitely not ready to go back home yet. His house was far too cold, and he was far too paranoid.

So now, there they sat, sipping espressos under the warm glow of the string lights hung up along the ceiling. It was definitely a place they frequented to get work done; between their research, Ray’s college homework assignments, and their mutual love (and need) for coffee, they’d managed to befriend nearly every worker and regular customer there. But it was also a great place to relax, and damn, Frank just felt so much better with excessive amounts of caffeine in his system.

Frank was too wrapped up in listening to Ray describe the new music project he was working on to notice someone stopping to stand beside their table until they finally sat down, and Ray had evidently been too distracted as well. Or they were both just really tired. That was probably more likely. 

“Damn, you two look dead,” said the newcomer, fully getting their attention. Frank looked up to see that it was Jamia, a close friend of theirs, and she surveyed their blank facial expressions with a look of caring concern.

At this point, with the number of times she’d helped them out with cases and investigations, she was pretty much unofficially a part of their team. She knew she was always welcome to crash their coffee shop hangouts if she happened to run into them, and Frank was honestly really happy to see her. Her calm and kind disposition never failed to make him smile.

“That’s because we _are _dead,” Ray answered in an overdone deadpan.

“Long night?” Jamia asked. Frank knew she probably assumed they’d been out partying or something, and he really wished that was it. But, well, it wasn’t. At all.

“Just a tough case,” Ray said. “It’s, uh…”

“It’s a fuckin’ doozy,” Frank finished. 

“Well, you know where to find me if you need any help,” Jamia said. “But I expect financial compensation this time.”

Ray snorted. “As if either one of us is any less broke than you are.”

But Frank was actually thinking of taking her up on that. He knew she was busy, and she might not be able to help out very often, but this would be a great case to have her input on. Jamia was a witch, and even though she wasn’t clairvoyant, her knowledge of magic and witchcraft were extremely helpful when it came to paranormal matters. Also, he realized, she’d be the perfect person to talk to about the pictures. Witches usually had the best answers to things like that.

And of course, Frank just trusted her and valued what she had to say regardless. Her calm demeanor balanced out the chaos that seemed to be constantly swirling around both him and Ray. That was just a downfall to working with the paranormal, Frank supposed.

The three of them talked for a while about whatever came to mind, letting the conversation flow and bantering back and forth. Ray eventually decided to head home, but Frank and Jamia stayed put at their table after they said their goodbyes.

Once Ray was gone, Jamia turned to Frank with a serious look on her face. “Okay, you don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to, but…you’re not yourself today. What’s going on?”

Frank figured she would know something was off. Ray undoubtedly knew too, but Frank didn’t want to worry him with another set of problems. “It’s…” He sighed, unsure of where to begin. “It has to do with my parents. And what happened to them. Well, I think it does. I don’t know.” He shook his head. “Actually, it’s a lot of things.” 

Jamia knit her brow. “Does any of it have to do with this case?”

“Yeah, some of it. So…me and Ray were called to a crime scene this morning, except it probably wasn’t actually a human crime.” Frank paused. “You’ve heard of spontaneous detonation, right?”

Jamia nodded. “Mhm.”

“Well, that’s what happened, as far as we know,” Frank said.

“God,” Jamia said with a grimace. “That sounds awful.”

Frank chuckled dryly. “Yeah.”

“But what does that have to do with your parents?” Jamia asked.

Frank had told her the story before. What had happened to them, and all the terrifying events leading up to that, but he had never thought to mention all the minute details such as the picture and the other bizarre items he’d found littered around their room once it was all over. “Well, after they died, I found this picture on their bedroom floor. And I have no idea where it came from or why it was there, but it was a polaroid of this random guy. He was probably about my age now, and it was just like…I dunno, like a blurry candid. It was weird.”

Jamia didn’t look too freaked out yet, which Frank took as a good sign. He continued.

“So today when we were scoping out this house where the explosion happened, I…” Frank glanced around and lowered his voice, suddenly paranoid for a reason he couldn’t explain. “I fucking saw this _same_ guy. I mean, it was another picture of him. In this house. And I don’t know if I’m wrong and it was just someone who looked like him, or if it’s just some weird coincidence, or whatever the hell. But I mean, after I saw it, my body freaked the fuck out. I ran outside and puked my guts up.”

Jamia was quiet, like she was thinking about it.

“I don’t understand,” Frank said. “I’m just being paranoid, right?”

Jamia rested her chin in her palm and narrowed her eyes. “Maybe.”

Frank laughed nervously. “Maybe?”

“I mean, if nothing else happens, then yeah, it was probably just a coincidence.” Jamia shrugged. “But I think you have every right to be paranoid about that. That’s pretty serious.”

Frank nodded. “But…I shouldn’t let it keep me up at night, right?”

“Nah, it’ll probably be okay. All things considered, there are a million different explanations for something like that. This _is _Malimore. Anything can happen.”

“You’re right,” Frank said. Even though he felt a bit better about the whole thing, he knew it would still hang in the back of his mind for a few days. “Well, I think I’m gonna go home. It’s already been a long fucking day and it’s only, like, ten.”

Jamia laughed. “Okay, Frank. I know you just had a bunch of caffeine, but you should really try to get some sleep. You look like hell.”

And Frank knew she didn’t say it to be hurtful, she said it out of genuine concern. He was sure he really did. “I’ll try my best. Thanks for everything.”

“Anytime,” Jamia said with a warm smile. “Call me if you need anything, okay?”

“M’kay.” And Frank knew that if everything kept progressing, he absolutely would. Part of him was undeniably calmer after their conversation, but another part of him was a little bit terrified to go back home. He wasn’t sure which part was irrational and which part was instinct, and that worried him more than anything else.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> {The Fall - Frightened}
> 
> I just finished outlining the last few chapters of this (!!!), so I should probably be able to update it at least once a week if school doesn't get in the way. The storyline's really gonna start picking up soon and I'm honestly so stoked to write it!!
> 
> Thank you for reading! :)


	5. Climbing Up the Walls

_"Do not cry out or hit the alarm / You know we're friends till we die."_

* * *

_**09.28.2003** _

After arriving home from the Malimug, the rest of Frank’s day had been oddly uneventful. He hadn’t been able to fall back asleep like Jamia had suggested, but he’d gotten to have some much-needed alone time. His schedule was always jam-packed, so he wasn’t going to let his day off go to waste completely.

The busyness started up shortly after it ended, however; one of the detectives at the MPD called Frank and let him know the resident of the house would be ready to speak with him tomorrow afternoon.

Frank was undeniably nervous. Everything about the case made his skin crawl, and he had no idea what to expect from this kid. The detective had told him he was still having trouble articulating what had happened. Frank wondered if it was really that or if he just didn’t _want _to talk about it. He had found, over the course of his career, that many people he questioned were a lot more open with him and Ray than they were with the police, and some of the things he’d heard from traumatized victims left both of them unable to sleep for weeks. Frank felt he had every right to be anxious about questioning this person in particular.

So now, at 3 p.m., he and Ray were following behind a nurse to Mikey Way’s hospital room. The fluorescent lighting and sterile white walls did less than nothing to calm Frank’s nerves, and he could feel waves of tension coming off of Ray as well. Frank just prayed that at the very least, they would get some sort of coherent response to a few of their questions.

The nurse stopped beside one of the doors and knocked a few times before pushing it open. She stepped into the room, and Ray glanced reassuringly over at Frank before he walked through next, leaving the latter to trail behind.

Inside the room, there was a police officer sitting quietly beside the bed, and then there was Mikey. He appeared just fine other than a few cuts on his face, but Frank guessed the force of the explosion could’ve ended up breaking a few bones hidden from his view. More than anything, though, Mikey just looked tired. It was beyond just his sallow skin and the bags under his eyes. His exhaustion had crept into his posture and his expression as well, leaving him slouched and fragile in appearance.

“Mr. Way, this is Ray Toro and Frank Iero,” the nurse said. “They’re just here to ask you a few questions.”

Mikey blinked and nodded slowly like the simple actions required a great deal of his energy. Then the nurse turned around to leave the room, shoes clicking jarringly loud against the linoleum floor, and Frank took a seat next to the officer while Ray leaned against the wall. Both had notepads in hand and Frank wished they didn’t need them; he knew how uncomfortable it was to talk to someone who was writing down every word you said. The tension in the air was already palpable enough as it was.

“You’re paranormal investigators, right?” Mikey asked, cutting through the delicate silence before either Frank or Ray could. He sounded even more drained than he looked. 

“That’s right,” Frank said with a curt nod.

Mikey glanced over at the police officer, almost too quick for Frank to catch it. He really wondered then if Mikey’s answers would be different if they were alone. He seemed to shrivel underneath the three pairs of eyes boring into him, silently demanding his utmost honesty.

“Before we start, we know all of this just happened yesterday and you’re probably still shaken up, so please don’t feel like you have to rush through anything,” Ray said, and that eased the uncomfortable static in the air a bit. “We have plenty of time.” He took a breath and readied his pen against his notepad before he asked the first question. “So, describe to us what happened last night. What did you see, what did you hear, what were the events leading up to it…? Things like that.”

Mikey stared down at his lap and thought about it for a while. He looked so sad, and that intrigued Frank just as much as it weighed on his heart. “I don’t even know what happened…”

“That’s okay,” Ray said. “Just try your best.”

Mikey sighed. He was tense, on edge. “Well…I was just at home. I was in my room, and I started hearing noises across the house, so I went to check it out. I walked down the hallway and…_boom_. It just…something just blew up. I don’t know.”

He was holding back. Frank knew there was more.

Ray nodded and scribbled something down. “So, you didn’t see the explosion happen, you just heard it?”

“Yeah. And I was right outside the door from it, so it kind of threw me into a wall.” Mikey shrugged like that was no big deal. “The door came off its hinges and everything.”

“The room where it happened, what do you use it for?” Frank cut in. It was an important question, but he was also just curious about the lack of furniture in the room.

“Oh.” Mikey’s gaze fell again, and his voice dropped a couple of octaves. “That was my brother’s room.”

“He doesn’t live with you anymore?” Frank queried.

“No.” And there was clearly a story behind that, but Frank would get there later. He knew he would have to be careful in his approach. If it was a sensitive topic, the last thing Frank wanted was to make Mikey even more uncomfortable than he already was.

“What kinds of noises did you hear before it happened?” Ray asked, steering them back on track.

“Just…just, like, footsteps, like someone else was there. But I know I was alone.”

He was still holding back. Frank made a mental note of that as Ray asked Mikey about the history of the house and the property. Mikey said it had been built by his family several decades ago and passed down from generation to generation. He briefly mentioned the death of his parents, clearly unwilling to talk about it, and explained that it had been passed on to him.

Frank found that interesting. Not only because he’d gotten his house in the exact same way, but because Mikey, a twenty-something who surely had differing tastes from his parents, hadn’t redecorated or really done anything to the house at all in the years that he’d been living there.

To wrap up the interview, Ray asked Mikey a few things about himself. He said he was twenty-nine, a freelance artist, and he liked to travel a lot, so he was rarely even at home. Frank supposed that sort of explained the appearance of the interior, but he had a feeling it was more to do with holding on to the past. There was definitely more to everything that had happened than Mikey was letting on, and Frank wasn’t about to walk out of his room without at least _trying _to coax it out of him. His clear instincts could be a curse, but they definitely came in handy during situations like this.

“Before we go, is there anything else you want to tell us?” Frank asked. “Every little detail is important, I promise. It helps us help you.”

Mikey glanced back at the police officer again, conflict brewing behind his tired eyes. He seemed to think over his response carefully before he said it aloud. “Could we…could we maybe talk alone?”

Frank looked at Ray, and then at the officer, who took a moment to consider the situation before nodding and getting to her feet. 

“I’ll be right outside,” she said, and Mikey watched her intently as she left.

There was a moment of silence after the door to the room swung shut, and Frank glanced up at Ray again before looking back at Mikey. “I know this is hard, especially when you feel like you’re being interrogated,” he said, offering up his sympathy. “I’m sorry.”

“That’s okay,” Mikey said. “I just want to feel like I can _talk_, you know? I mean, this is what you guys do. You get it.” 

Frank nodded. That was fair. He sat back then, waiting with bated breath for whatever it was Mikey was going to say. “I understand. Just take your time.”

“Well, I guess what I wanted to say is…before _it _happened, I heard the footsteps and everything like I said, but I also-” He cut himself off and a mix of emotions washed over his face. It was something akin to sadness, but it was different from the kind that had tinged his voice before. His breaths were becoming shuddery like he was trying not to cry. “I swear to god I heard my brother’s voice.”

Frank knit his brow. Now was probably the best time to ask about the story behind the empty room. He needed to be able to fully understand. “Mikey, did your brother move away or…did something else happen?” It pained him to ask.

“He…” Mikey wiped at his eyes and turned to stare at the wall in front of him. His expression was far-away, glazed over. “He disappeared a while back, so…”

“Disappeared?” Frank pressed, voice gentle.

“It was the beginning of his second year of college. Must’ve been almost eighteen years ago now. One morning my mom noticed his car was still in the driveway, so she went to his room to ask why he was skipping class and he just…wasn’t there. The next day he still hadn’t come home, so we called the police. We looked for him for months. Never found anything.” Mikey sniffed, shrinking in on himself. “I was eleven.”

That last part made Frank incredibly sad. “I’m so sorry,” he murmured, to which he got no reply. He knew there was little he could do to alleviate such deep pain, and sometimes trying only made it worse. He decided it would be best to move along, albeit as gently as possible. He was sure Mikey and his family had already been questioned about the disappearance time and time again, so he decided to veer away from most of the standard questions towards those that would be relevant to his investigation. 

“So…when you say you heard your brother, was it anything specific?” Frank asked.

Mikey shook his head. “Not really. I mean, he sounded _pissed_, but I couldn’t make out any words or anything.”

Pissed. Pissed wasn’t good. Pissed could potentially lead to blown up people. It was more likely that a ghost wouldn’t have the power to do that, but even if they didn’t, angry spirits were not fun to deal with. At the very least, Mikey didn’t sound too frightened by it.

“Have you noticed anything to indicate a presence in your home before yesterday?” Frank asked.

“Sometimes I think I can feel him, but I don’t know if that counts,” Mikey said, laughing sadly. “Everyone thinks they can feel their lost loved ones, right? It’s probably just in my head.”

“Mm, it depends. But most of the time, whenever you feel someone’s presence, it’s absolutely real,” Frank said. “Did he feel angry then?”

“No, it’s like a warm feeling. Like he’s watching over me,” Mikey said with the beginnings of a nostalgic smile on his face. “I know that sounds really cliché, but…” 

“I know what you mean,” Frank said, thinking of the times he’d felt that his parents were still looking out for him, and he smiled a bit as well. “Well, Mikey, we’ll definitely look into it. Thank you for being so open. Before we go, is there anyone else we can talk to who might know something about what happened?”

“Well, my brother had a friend I still keep in touch with. I know he was the last person he talked to before he disappeared, so he might be able to help you out.” Mikey leaned over to grab the notebook that was resting on his bedside table. He scribbled something down before tearing the page out and holding it out to Frank. “His name’s Bert McCracken. He lives in San Francisco now, but you can at least try giving him a call.”

Frank hummed and took the paper, eyes scanning over the phone number written there. “Thanks. Oh, also, would you mind giving us your brother’s name? We’ll probably want to look over his case file at some point.”

“His name was Gerard,” Mikey said softly. “I really hope you’re able to find something. It’s just…I never got any closure. None of my family did. And I miss him.” He sighed and shook his head. “Sorry, I…”

“No need to apologize,” Frank said. “We’re gonna do our best, I promise.” And he really, really meant it. Mikey’s case pulled at his heartstrings and he wanted to find some answers as well. “You’re welcome to contact either of us if you think of anything else,” he continued, rising to his feet and going to stand beside Ray. “I hope you have a good rest of your day. It was nice to meet you.”

Mikey smiled with a bit of genuine warmth in his eyes. “Nice to meet you too.”

* * *

Frank and Ray made it to the parking lot in silence, both processing the conversation that had just taken place. They stopped to stand on the curb in front of the hospital and looked at one another knowingly. This case was going to be more complex than they had expected, and even though they were both perfectly qualified to handle it, it was all still so bizarre and out of the blue. Not to mention, Frank hadn’t even tried to explain to Ray his own involvement in it yet. 

“Dude. Coffee,” Ray said after a few moments, matter-of-factly as ever.

“God, yes please.” Frank genuinely needed it, especially if they were about to spend hours on research.

“Great. I’ll see you there.” 

And as soon as Frank made it to his car, he all but fell into the driver’s seat and took a minute to regroup. Or he would have if his minute hadn’t been interrupted by his phone buzzing in his pocket.

He sighed and pulled it out, confused when he was met with a blank space instead of a number or a contact name. Part of him assumed it was just a telemarketer or something, but another part of him was compelled to answer it, just to see…

He pressed the button to answer the call. “Hello?” 

It was quiet on the other line for a few seconds before there was a small, soft noise. Frank couldn’t identify it, but he listened closely to see if he could. The sound repeated before it started becoming louder. As it did, static began to accompany it as if the signal was bad. Frank realized, after a few moments of confusion, that he was listening to someone cry. It was all too familiar for some reason he couldn’t put his finger on. His stomach was beginning to churn just like it had in that house yesterday, and dread crawled over his skin until it became all-consuming.

Then he made the connection – he was experiencing this intense, horrid déjà vu for a reason. As soon as he _remembered_, chills ran over his entire body. He was frozen, unable to hang up even though he desperately wanted to.

He had gotten a call from this person before. The tone of the sobs, the static in the background…it was all the same. That was almost eighteen years ago, on the most horrible night of Frank’s life.

Why was it happening again? Why now?

The sobbing continued, sounding more and more like words with every second that passed, but the static was so loud that Frank couldn’t really tell for sure. The longer it went on the colder he felt, and he was snapped out of his trance when the voice began whispering something intelligible.

“Please,” it breathed. Over and over again, until Frank drew in a harsh breath and ended the call. He even tossed his phone into the back seat for good measure. He quite literally never wanted to touch it again.

First the picture, and now this? Not to mention, his hip suddenly hurt terribly, because of course, things could always be just a little bit worse. Frank started his car and focused very hard on not letting himself hyperventilate. He hoped that if he ignored it, just like he ignored everything else, that it would go away.

_Please, let it go away._

* * *

Frank was beyond relieved when he got back home that night. He and Ray had spent hours working on Mikey’s case, only to come up strangely and frustratingly short of any kind of answers. They rarely had any research sessions that were completely unfruitful, but for whatever reason, this one had been. That meant they probably wouldn’t learn anything new until they actually went back to the house. 

Now, all Frank wanted was to crawl into bed and sleep for a long, long time. He was so tired that he could hardly even care about the phone call or the dreams he’d had last night, even though those things would normally keep him from wanting to fall asleep. Maybe his exhaustion would put his mind at rest as well as his body.

Frank dropped his backpack next to the door and kicked off his shoes. It was colder than when he had left; the heater must be acting up again. He frowned and reached for the light switch, but when he flipped it up, nothing happened. Frank knit his brow and tried it a couple more times before he finally accepted that his power was out.

He threw his head back with a groan and headed to his utility closet to check the breaker box. Every other house on his street had had their lights on, so surely there had just been some sort of malfunction. It’d be an easy fix, right?

But after opening up the box and finding nothing was wrong, and after reassuring himself that he’d remembered to pay his bills, Frank was at a loss. He had no idea what was going on. It was far too late to call over an electrician, so he resolved to light a few candles and wait until morning.

He grabbed a plain white candle and a pack of matches from his kitchen and headed to his bedroom. Fortunately, Frank had overcome his fear of the dark long ago. He felt perfectly comfortable going the whole night without any electricity, or at least that’s what he kept telling himself over and over again. He was trying desperately to ignore the prickling feeling on the back of his neck. He was just freaking himself out, there was nothing to be afraid of…

Frank climbed into bed and set the candle down on his nightstand. He struck a match, set fire to the wick, and settled down onto his side. He laid there, unblinking, staring as the candle burned. A darkness, even blacker than the one that already surrounded him, crept at the edges of his vision. It kept moving and devouring until all Frank could see was the burning wick, mind blank as if the flame had hypnotized him. He watched as it illuminated its surroundings, most notably casting dark shadows in the concave eye sockets and underneath the high cheekbones of the face behind it, inching steadily closer to where Frank’s body laid motionless in the darkness.

A face.

A human face.

Just as Frank screamed and shot bolt upright, the power turned back on. Every single light in the house came alive with a crackling pop. And suddenly the creeping cold was gone, replaced by a slight warmth, and the ceiling fan was swinging around in slow circles, squeaking like it always did, before it came to a sudden stop.

Frank reached for his cell phone, hands trembling wildly, gasping in response to the stabs of pain in his hip as he leaned forward. It ran down his thigh and radiated around to his lower back, making him grit his teeth. He was already panicked, eyes watery, but when the pain grew more and more intense his entire body began to shake.

He decided, through his panicked haze, that he didn’t want to call Ray. He had been drained after the day they’d had and he was probably already asleep, but Frank didn’t want any of his other friends to hear him breaking down like this. He was a _paranormal investigator, _for god’s sake. He should be used to these kinds of things. It would sound ridiculous to them, they wouldn’t understand.

Jamia. She would get it. Frank had seen her react similarly a few times after coming in contact with the metaphysical, so she was well aware of how intense it could be. She was usually up late anyway, so Frank wasn’t really risking waking her up.

He dialed her number before his brain could conjure up some reason not to, praying she would answer. His mind was detaching from reality against his will, and he just needed someone to remind him he wasn’t the only person in the world.

The phone rang a few times before Jamia picked up. “Hey.” She sounded wide awake, which made Frank feel a bit better about calling her so late. That was really the least of his worries though; he was crying so hard he couldn’t answer her. “Frank? Are you crying?”

Frank took a deep, shaky breath and tried his best to calm down a bit. “Y-you know the pictures I was telling you about?”

“What? Uh, yes? I- What’s going on?” 

Frank covered his mouth with his hand and shut his eyes. “It was…oh my god, it was the same face.” His efforts to calm himself failed and all of his composure began crumbling again. “I saw it…just now…”

“You…what do you mean you saw it?” There was a worried edge to Jamia’s voice now.

“I lit a candle and it was just there!” Frank knew he wasn’t making any sense, he knew that wasn’t an adequate explanation, but it was all his brain could muster.

A pause. “Frank, where are you now?”

Frank swallowed. “At home.”

“You need to leave.”

The seriousness of her tone sent a chill down Frank’s spine. “What? Now?”

“Yes. You need to get out. I’ll cleanse it for you tomorrow.”

It was a little too much to take in at once, but Frank was already getting out of bed, wincing at the pains in his hip. “Are you sure?”

“You said you saw his picture just after your parents died? And then you saw another one in that house? After someone _exploded?_ And _now _you’re seeing him as a full fucking apparition in your own home? _Yes, _I’m sure. Get the fuck out of there. You can even stay with me if you want, I don’t care, I’m just not about to let something bad happen to you.”

Frank nodded. “I-I’ll just…I have a key to Ray’s place. I’ll just stay there. But thank you. Thank you so much.” He was still crying, but he had managed to get his sobs under control. Now he was focused on getting out as soon as possible.

“I just want you to be safe,” Jamia said. 

“So you…you really wouldn’t mind cleansing my house tomorrow? I s-swear shit like this has been happening all day.” Frank grit his teeth as he stood up and began limping to his closet to grab a change of clothes.

“I wouldn’t mind at all. Just let me know when you’re home and I’ll head over.”

Frank began making his way to the bathroom then. The pain was making him dizzy, and for a moment he contemplated telling Jamia about what had happened to his hip, but he decided against it. She was already worried enough. “Okay, thank you. You’re the best.”

“It’s no problem. Have you left yet?”

“Almost.” Frank was clutching his toothbrush in one hand and some clothing in the other, phone wedged between his ear and his shoulder. 

“Can you text me when you get to Ray’s?”

Damn, she really was worried. “Yeah, sure thing.”

“Okay, I’ll let you go now. Let me know if anything else happens.”

“I will.” But Frank wasn’t really sure if he could keep that promise. So much had happened already and it had only been one day. 

“I’ll see you tomorrow. Goodnight.”

“Night.” Frank ended the call and pocketed his phone. He shoved the items he was holding into his backpack and quickly slid on his shoes. Thankfully, talking to Jamia had helped him regain his composure, but her adamancy that he leave his house was already making him nervous to come back in the morning. He pushed the thought to the back of his mind and decided to text Ray before he headed over, just so that he wouldn’t be surprised by another person in his house if he woke up during the night.

Frank took one last look around before turning off the lights. The darkness was unsettling after what had happened, and he was quickly grabbing his keys and reaching for the door.

The doorknob was somehow hot enough to fucking _burn Frank’s hand, _and that was the final straw. He flung the door open, dashed outside, and slammed it shut behind him, not even bothering to lock it. He just wanted to get away from that godforsaken house as soon as he possibly could.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> {Radiohead - Climbing Up the Walls}
> 
> Just to clarify so that nobody gets confused - in this verse, Gerard and Bert were born in 1966 and Mikey was born in 1974, but everyone else's birth years are the same.
> 
> Thanks for reading!


	6. Under the Milky Way

_“Something shimmering and white / Leads you here despite your destination.”_

* * *

**_09.29.2003_ ** ** **

It was dark again – the same silky, all-consuming blackness that had haunted Frank’s dreams before. This time, like every other time, he knew he was asleep, but something about this was different. His subconscious was telling him that somehow, he didn’t have the control over his physical body that he had before. Escaping wouldn’t be as easy as opening his eyes and waking himself up.

But Frank felt oddly calm, nonetheless. Maybe it was part of his mind’s efforts to keep him safe. He floated, motionless, watching the plumes of darkness as they swirled around his body. As time passed the ink faded away, leaving behind something that looked a bit more natural as if Frank was suspended in outer space. There were no stars to be seen, but there was a circle of soft golden light in the distance. Frank tried to figure out what it was, but he hadn’t ever seen anything quite like it.

What Frank noticed next was that his feet now seemed to be planted to a surface. It wasn’t exactly solid – it felt as if he was standing on top of water gently rippling beneath his bare feet, but it didn’t feel wet, it was just… Well, he didn’t really have the words to describe it. He didn’t have the words to properly describe anything he saw in the void, really. He felt as if he’d entered some tranquil realm no human was ever meant to see, and he looked around with a sleepy sort of curiosity for what felt like years.

Suddenly, the streams of darkness returned, swirling around in a vortex in one concentrated area not three feet away. Frank watched it, a little more alert now, but still unafraid. The movement of the darkness slowed until it came to a stop in midair and began melting away. As it did it revealed glimpses of what was hidden within it, and that’s when Frank grew wary.

First, he saw patches of something pale, contrasted so sharply against the black of the void that it almost glowed. He quickly realized the paleness was skin, startlingly unblemished and stretched across angular limbs. Frank’s eyes traveled upwards to lock with another pair that were a bright hazel, sunken in with exhaustion, and all too familiar.

It was _him_.

Frank gasped and stumbled away from the figure in front of him, going from serene to terrified in the span of a few seconds. His chest constricted as he realized how out of control he was, but he was too shocked to do anything except back away at a snail’s pace. The apparition just watched him with an unreadable expression.

“I know you talked to him,” the figure said. The sound of his voice, slipping through pale lips, startled Frank. It was soft and lightly accented, and it would’ve been soothing if his tone wasn’t so icy. He was clearly angry, making the calm exterior blanketed over him feel even more threatening than the anger itself.

Frank opened his mouth, trying to coax out some semblance of words, but his throat had gone dry and the gears in his mind had grated to a halt.

“You have _no _idea what you’re getting yourself into,” the apparition continued. He started after Frank, walking slowly across the fluid surface beneath him. “You need to leave him alone.”

“Wh-who?” Frank finally forced out in a choked voice. He felt like he was moving in slow motion, unable to turn away and run from the threatening presence approaching him.

“Mikey,” the apparition growled.

And Frank really should’ve guessed it. The pieces started to come together inside his sleep-muddled brain. He was dizzy with fear now and it made him stumble, knocking him off balance enough that he fell and landed hard on his tailbone. His breath was stolen from his lungs and he stared with wide eyes and a racing heart as the figure continued to approach him. Of course Frank couldn’t run properly; that’s how dream physics always seemed to work. 

“You have to listen to me. You’re going to get him _killed_,” the apparition hissed. Even though his legs were moving, it looked more like he was gliding over the ground.

“I don’t understand!” Frank cried. “I-I can’t just- I have to talk to him, it’s my jo-”

“No!” In a heartbeat, the figure began moving fast enough to quickly close the gap between himself and Frank. It looked like he was skipping frames along the way, as if he was phasing in and out of existence. He came to an abrupt stop and glowered down at the trembling man at his feet, and Frank realized, as he stared back up at the ghostly face hovering over him, that he was entirely at this creature’s mercy. He couldn’t wake up.

“Who are you?” Frank asked. His voice came out as a whimper and he felt more pathetic than ever. But to be fair, he supposed, this being had already terrorized him more times than one. He had every right to be afraid. Especially when he was trapped in some unknown metaphysical realm.

“If anything happens to him, it’s your damn fault,” the figure said, ignoring Frank’s question. “You have to keep him safe.” When Frank didn’t respond, his facial expression contorted into something dark and horrifying. He reached down and grabbed the collar of Frank’s shirt with impossibly cold fingers before yanking him up. Their faces were now mere centimeters apart. “You _have _to keep him safe. Do you understand?”

Frank’s next words left his mouth before he had time to process them. “Are you his brother?”

The apparition’s eyes widened for half a second, glazing over with a message far too complex for Frank to read before they narrowed back into angry slits. “Do. You. Understand?” His breath was cold, and it smelled sickly sweet. So sweet it made Frank nauseous.

“I-I…” Frank’s eyes watered, and he slowly brought both of his hands up to wrap around the one holding him by his shirt. It was frigid, but it was solid. “Why do I keep seeing you?”

“So you _don’t _understand,” the apparition spat. “Do I need to spell it out for you? If you don’t start minding your own business, Mikey is going to die. He’ll _die, _Frank. I’m not going to sit back and watch the only person I care about be fucking slaughtered.”

Frank trembled violently and dug his fingertips into the figure’s hand. He noticed that the longer he held them there, the more the flesh underneath them and the breath fanning his face warmed to a normal temperature.

“You know my name…” Frank said. Unfortunately, it was the only thought he could manage to put into words.

“That’s not the goddamn point!” The figure was shouting now, but he sounded more desperate than he did angry. “So what? You’re just going to let him die a horrible death?”

“N-no,” Frank whispered. Tears born of terror and confusion gathered at the corners of his eyes, threatening to build until they tumbled down his cheeks. “I don’t know what’s going on. You have to help me understand.” 

The apparition sighed in frustration. “I don’t owe you any kind of explanation. It doesn’t _matter_. I’m just asking you to keep Mikey safe. _Please_.”

“But I can’t just…I have to help him,” Frank tried to reason.

“You can help him by leaving him alone.”

“You can’t just say that without telling me why.” It was a bold statement for Frank to make in his current position, but he had no idea what else to do. For whatever reason, he felt very uncomfortable with blindly complying with this being’s demands. At the very least, he wanted to know whether this was Gerard or not. That would make all the difference in the world.

The apparition laughed, and now his breath was just as warm as Frank’s. It lingered in the air between them along with its unnaturally sweet scent. “Like I said, dear, you have _no _idea what you’re getting yourself into. Leaving it be is just as much in the interest of your safety as it is Mikey’s. Not that I give a single _fuck _about you.” But something about that last sentence sounded pained, and he finally lowered Frank to the ground before letting go of his shirt. He stood upright and took a step back, still glaring down at the other man with stinging venom in his eyes.

As Frank observed the being’s actions, curiosity began infiltrating his fear. His heart still beat rapidly in his chest and he wanted to wake up more than anything, but he was intrigued by the fact that the figure before him obviously had a broad range of feelings beyond just fiery anger and desperation.

“Can you please just tell me who you are?” Frank asked. “I want to help Mikey; I swear I do. It’s just…I need to actually understand what’s going on.”

The apparition seemed to contemplate it. As he studied Frank’s face, the faintest inkling of remorse took up residence behind his eyes alongside a plethora of other unidentifiable emotions. “I’m sure he told you a bit about me,” he said. “He gave up on ever finding me a long time ago, though. He’s moved on, and he should, but…”

Frank knit his brow and watched as raw sadness crept over the figure’s pale face, clear as day. “So you’re Gerard? Why are you-”

At the mention of his name, the apparition’s franticness returned to him in a flash, devoid of anger in favor of pure fear. “Shh! He’ll hear you!”

“Who?” Frank demanded. He pushed himself up on his forearms, but tendrils of darkness began to surround him again. Now he assumed the spirit, Gerard, was the one controlling them.

“Just keep Mikey safe!” he hissed. “I’ll know it if you don’t!”

And just like it had a few nights ago, the feeling of the blackness became sharp and biting. Frank gasped, staring up at Gerard with terrified eyes. There was a bolt of pain in his upper arm so intense it knocked him flat on his back, and the last thing he saw before he slipped away was Gerard falling back as well, face twisted into a conveyance of discomfort.

Frank woke up just as he tumbled off the couch and hit the floor. He was back in the waking world, in the middle of Ray’s living room, but the warm liquid trailing down his arm told him that he’d brought a painful souvenir back from his dream.

He winced and braced himself before glancing down at his upper arm. Unlike the gash in his hip, this one wasn’t eerily sterile. It wasn’t gushing blood, but it was flowing down his skin in thick, red trails. Frank realized he should probably bandage it.

He stumbled to the bathroom in the dark, feeling worse and worse for crashing Ray’s place by the second now that he was about to go rummaging through his medicine cabinet. Just because they were best friends didn’t soothe Frank’s constant feeling that he was taking up too much space.

A few minutes later Frank had managed to find some gauze and cotton pads. He shivered as he pressed one of the pads against his wound and began wrapping the gauze tightly around his arm, finally taking the time to process what had actually happened. He’d gone to that dark place, the same one he’d visited time and time before, but nothing had ever appeared to him like that. And…holy shit, was that actually Mikey’s brother?

Frank entertained the possibility that it didn’t mean anything at all. Surely his brain could’ve just conjured it up, but…that wouldn’t explain the cut on his arm.

Speaking of which, if Gerard was able to do physical harm to Frank earlier, then that must’ve been where his previous wound came from. Although, Gerard had seemed to be in pain as well during Frank’s last few moments before waking, so maybe he wasn’t responsible at all. Frank wasn’t entirely sure, and he didn’t know how he could’ve possibly provoked whatever hurt him the first time, whether it was Gerard or not.

Then again, that had been the night of the explosion at Mikey’s place. What if it was all tied together somehow? It was like many of the fragments of the bigger picture were there, but the connectives were missing entirely.

Frank’s head was starting to hurt, not only from the effort of thinking but also from his lack of sleep. He finished winding the gauze around his arm and stared at his reflection, taking in his sunken eyes and messy hair and overall disheveled appearance. He looked like he’d just been through hell and back.

He flipped off the bathroom lights and made his way back into the living room. He would have to explain all of this to Ray tomorrow, and maybe Jamia too, and that was something he really wasn’t ready for. Frank wasn’t sure why he was so reluctant to open up about what was happening to him. At first he’d just thought he didn’t want to burden his friends with extra supernatural affairs, but there was something else too… Frank couldn’t quite put his finger on it.

As he laid quietly in the dark, his exhaustion finally caught up to him. Somehow, after realizing the spirit haunting him was most likely Gerard, he felt a little less afraid to fall asleep. Even if Frank had a very limited understanding of what was going on, he knew Gerard had been a living, breathing person once, and the behavior Frank had seen from him thus far had been somewhat understandable with the proper context. He just wanted to protect his brother, right? So surely that meant he could be negotiated with if Frank ever encountered him again. Maybe he could even get some much-needed answers about everything that was going on…

* * *

The next morning, Frank woke up to the pleasant aroma of freshly brewed tea. It wrapped around him before he could even open his eyes, washing over his groggy senses, gently pulling him towards wakefulness. He was just conscious enough to be aware of his surroundings, but not enough to become one with them. The blankness in his mind’s eye, as opposed to the tangible darkness that had held him hostage before, was a blissful resting place.

Suddenly, white-hot stabs against his nerve endings yanked him from the remnants of his slumber. His head ached, as did the gashes in his hip and his arm, and as did every single joint in his body. He felt like he’d just taken a beating.

“Christ,” Frank groaned as he lifted his head from where it rested on his forearms. Every little movement hurt, but he grit his teeth against it until he was sitting up. He looked over the back of the couch and spotted Ray sitting at his kitchen table, hunched over a hardcover novel and a mug of tea. 

Ray seemed to have already noticed Frank was awake. “You okay?” he asked, looking up from his book and meeting Frank’s eyes.

“Uh, I don’t really know.” Frank rubbed the back of his neck, but it did nothing to alleviate the painful tension there. “Did you see my text last night?”

“Yeah, what happened?”

Frank had only said in his message that he wasn’t able to stay at his own place, nothing to indicate the supernatural nature of the situation. “Well, it’s a long story…”

Ray shrugged. “That’s okay, I’m not going anywhere.” He leaned back in his chair and yawned. “Good morning, by the way. Teapot’s on the stove if you want some.”

Frank smiled and nodded his thanks before beginning to get up, fighting against his aching bones. It was a struggle, but he managed, and he began hobbling into the kitchen. It was really kind of embarrassing.

“Dude, what happened to your arm?” Ray asked suddenly.

Frank glanced down at it and cringed when he saw the amount of blood that had stained the dressings, sticky and crusted around the edges. He wasn’t normally one to be bothered by blood, even if it came from him, but…that was undoubtedly alarming. He tried to explain it as calmly as possible for both his sake and Ray’s.

“I don’t exactly know. I guess it’s part of everything that happened last night,” he began as he reached for a mug from the rack next to the stove. “Have your nightmares ever…bled over into reality?”

“I don’t think so,” Ray said, but it sounded a lot more like a question. He was clearly confused. “What do you mean by that?”

“Well,” Frank sighed as he tried to think of where to even begin. “When I had my arm cut open, I was asleep. It didn’t happen in real life, it happened…inside my head? I don’t know how all that works.” He shrugged as if the whole thing rolled right off his shoulders when in reality it obviously hadn’t. He just wasn’t sure how to talk about it or even express the fear it brought him. “It happened one other time too, two nights ago.”

“Um, that’s kind of a big deal. You know that, right?” Ray asked.

“Yeah, yeah, I do,” Frank rushed to clarify. “It’s just a lot to think about. I don’t even know how to react besides just ignoring it and hoping it’ll go away.” He finished pouring up his tea and sat down across from Ray as carefully as he possibly could. He still ended up wincing and hurting his joints furthermore. “I dunno, maybe I did it to myself somehow.”

Frank mentally laughed at himself at that. He most definitely had _not_ done it to himself.

Ray raised an eyebrow and crossed his arms. It sounded ridiculous to him as well. “Frank, your arm looks like something off of fucking Shark Week. I’m almost positive you didn’t do that to yourself in your sleep.”

“I have no idea what else it could be, though,” Frank sighed. “Have you ever heard of anything even remotely like this?”

Ray thought about it for a little while. “Yeah, I have, but I don’t see how it could be happening to you.”

Frank’s interested piqued at that. “Tell me about it anyway?”

“Well, there’s this thing I learned about a while back, where if you know how to detach your soul from your body, you can communicate directly with someone else’s consciousness. It requires an insane amount of connection between you and the person you’re communicating with, so sometimes, if they get hurt while you’re still dreaming, the same wound will show up on your body.” Ray paused when he saw the curiosity written across Frank’s face. “_But_, that can only happen under a few different circumstances. Usually, it’s only witches who are able to talk to people that way, since they know all the ins-and-outs of meditation and astral projection and stuff.”

So…did that mean Gerard was a witch?

Frank quickly cleared the thought from his head. That wouldn’t really make sense when he factored in the pictures and the ghostly apparition he’d seen in his home. And if Gerard was a witch, why would he need to stay hidden away from Mikey and the rest of his family? Witchcraft was a normal, accepted practice in Malimore, especially considering almost half the population was made up of witches, both by blood and by choice.

It’d make a lot more sense if Gerard was just a ghost, but that wouldn’t explain Frank’s dreams. In fact, it’d do quite the opposite. 

“I don’t know,” Frank sighed. “I don’t want to think about it.”

“I feel like ignoring it is a really terrible idea,” Ray said.

“I didn’t say I was gonna ignore it, I’m just…not going to think about it.”

Ray chuckled. “Okay, okay. Whatever you say. But don’t say I didn’t warn you.”

After that, Frank explained to Ray what had happened the night before, leaving out the details about Gerard specifically and mentally kicking himself for it afterward. Why didn’t he want to talk about it? Was he afraid of the possible repercussions? Hell, Frank wasn’t even totally sure if the being that had appeared to him actually _was _Gerard or not. Something told him that it was, but technically, he hadn’t been given a definitive answer yet.

A couple of hours later Frank decided to go back home. Of course, he thanked Ray profusely for letting him crash his place, but Ray laughed it off and said it was nothing just like he always did. It made Frank feel much better about stopping by so unexpectedly.

But now, as he drove back home, alone once again with no one to keep him distracted, he was nervous. He’d already texted Jamia and let her know she could come over at any time, but he wasn’t looking forward to sitting all alone until she arrived in an empty house that was always just a little too cold and not quite empty enough. 

Once he arrived, he had just barely made it through the threshold when he realized he couldn’t do it. For one thing, the locks that he very specifically remembered leaving undone last night had been slid back into place when he got to the door. It was the kind of activity he’d laugh off as an overdone cliché if he were watching it happen on a movie screen, but it was deeply unsettling in real life. For another, inside the house, the air was practically frigid.

Frank decided he didn’t give a single fuck whether the entity residing alongside him was just the poor, unfortunate soul of a missing man. He left the door unlocked for Jamia and ran away, just like he always did. 

* * *

He ended up at the library because he really wanted to know more about this soul-detachment-dream-communication-whatever-the-fuck Ray had been talking about, but he was sick of staring at a computer screen for hours on end.

Besides, something about books, and the smell and feel of being surrounded by them, was comforting in and of itself. It was cloudy outside which added to the cozy atmosphere inside the library, gently illuminated by lamps and burning candles. The scent of incense mingled with the musk of the books, and an aura of magic was hanging tangibly in the air. 

Frank was forced to see the dark side of Malimore on a daily basis, but places like this reminded him that the town’s mysticality had a certain charm to it.

He strolled through the stacks, not really sure what he was looking for but content with finding out as he went along. When he found a section that looked promising, he would stop and brush inked fingers across the old leather spines of the tomes there, carefully reading the titles and occasionally selecting one or two to carry along with him. His freshly bandaged arm still ached underneath the sleeve of his cardigan and his joints were painfully stiff, but the calming atmosphere around him was a pleasant and effective distraction.

On his way back to the front desk, he brushed past a librarian who was in the midst of shelving a stack of books. She stopped what she was doing when he walked by, straightening up a little as if something had startled her. Frank took notice of it with curiosity, but he continued walking.

The space behind the desk was empty when he arrived, and he flipped through one of the books he’d picked up as he waited. He’d managed to narrow his selection down to two, and he really hoped he’d be able to find _something _tucked between the pages to give him a bit of clarity. 

A few moments later, the librarian he’d passed earlier approached him to check out the books. She smiled shyly and mumbled a greeting under her breath, showing no indication of whatever had happened earlier. That is, until she had finished stacking the books up on the desk and crossed her arms over her body nervously, observing Frank with a confused sort of curiosity. Before she even spoke, Frank just _knew _it was going to have something to do with all the weirdness he’d been experiencing lately.

“I’m sorry, I know this is really uncalled for,” she huffed, “but I was wondering if you’ve gone to see anyone about your aura recently. I think you’d have an easier time finding the answers you’re looking for that way.”

_Oh_. So she was clairvoyant. Frank should’ve realized it before now, based on the runes she wore as golden jewelry decorating her body and the dark swirls inked into her hands and wrists, and not to mention the way he’d seemed to have caught her attention for no reason earlier. The fact that she felt so compelled to comment on his aura was a little alarming because clairvoyants didn’t just _do _that. Their abilities were precious and incredibly rare, and they weren’t fond of imparting them upon strangers unless there was something to be concerned about.

In truth, he couldn’t even remember the last time he’d had his aura checked by a professional. He just knew his parents had gotten it done for him when he was a child, since that was standard practice. Annual aura checkups were advisable for adults, but since genuine clairvoyant services were quite expensive, Frank hadn’t been so inclined.

He shook his head honestly in reply. “Why do you ask?”

The librarian’s eyes grew wide and concerned. “Oh, it’s…I just noticed something is off.” 

Of _course _it was, because the universe suddenly just couldn’t let Frank catch a break. If it was bad enough for this woman, a total stranger, to initiate a conversation about it without demanding something in return, either she was a truly generous soul, or he was royally fucked. Or possibly both.

“Off?” Frank questioned.

“It’s something I’ve only seen in a few people over the years,” the librarian said. “It’s like it’s split, like half of it doesn’t belong to you.”

Frank had no idea what that even meant, but he knew it couldn’t be good. Ray’s earlier advice to him to stop ignoring his problems rang through the back of his mind and he decided to try to get her to elaborate. “What does that mean?”

“It’s hard to tell from here,” she said, doing nothing to answer Frank’s question and only leaving him with more. “I’m sorry, it was probably rude for me to comment on it like that. I really didn’t mean…”

“No, it’s okay,” Frank said, shaking his head. “I appreciate you telling me. I would’ve had no idea.”

The librarian smiled again and nervously pushed her dark hair away from her face. “I can look for you if you want.”

Frank’s instinct to leave and remain in blissful ignorance was kicking in, but the library was empty except for him and a few other staff members and there was a willing clairvoyant right in front of him, like a good Samaritan. Seriously, when was he ever going to be offered a reading for free again? Her easygoing attitude did make him a bit skeptical, but he supposed not everyone like her would be closed off. She seemed like she actually wanted to help him.

So Frank nodded and laid his hands on the desk, palms facing upwards, and prepared to get some of his answers. The prospect was scary now that it was right in front of him, but he refused to let himself back away. The librarian proceeded to lay her palms lightly over his, take a cleansing breath, and close her eyes. The library was silent now, save for the sound of the cold autumn wind sweeping past the brick walls outside, and Frank waited with bated breath and a quickly beating heart.

“Oh dear,” the librarian whispered after some time had elapsed, and Frank’s stomach fell a little bit.

A few moments later she removed her hands from his and rubbed them together to diffuse the energy that still resided there. “Interesting,” she murmured to herself.

Her vague behavior was making Frank nervous. “Did you see anything?” he asked.

“Oh, yes,” she said. “I saw you, but I know you’re not very concerned with hearing about yourself. You want to know about the other half. You’ve already come in contact with it a few times, haven’t you?”

Though he wasn't completely following, Frank still really didn’t like the sound of what she had to say, but he stayed silent and continued listening. After all, she wasn’t exactly wrong so far.

“Let me explain,” the librarian said, sensing his confusion. “Usually, whenever I read someone, I can see every part of them very clearly. It’s almost like looking through a photo album – you can turn the pages to examine their timeline, their aura, the condition of their soul… But with you, there are two distinct parts that make up one whole. Your half is a little gloomy, but nothing to be too worried about. Just some sleep and some self-care would clear it up quite a bit. But the other half is dark…alarmingly dark, in fact.”

“What does that mean?” Frank breathed. “If there are two separate parts, then…”

“It’s almost like there’s an extra soul inside your body. Maybe it's not the soul itself, but it's at least a clear echo of it – enough of an echo for me to see.” The librarian pulled her jacket tightly around her, and Frank wondered if the cold he always felt deep down in his bones had rubbed off on her. “Like I said, I’ve seen the same thing in a few other people before. I’m not too sure what it means, but I always try to point it out to anyone who has it. I feel like it’d be wrong to let you go thinking all is well, when in actuality that might not be the case.”

Frank thought about the dark place he’d visited in his dreams, and he thought about Gerard, and the librarian’s interest seemed to pique when he did. She straightened up a bit just like she had before, but this time, if Frank hadn’t been paying attention, he wouldn’t have noticed. He knew she couldn’t read his mind, no human had the ability to do that, but she could definitely pick up on sudden shifts in his mood. Was this really having that great of an effect on him?

“I think…I think you should go to a professional,” she said. “I don’t have very much practice outside of reading those I know personally, but I do know that there’s more to you than I’m able to see.”

Frank hummed, considering it. “Am I going to be okay?” he asked after a pause.

The librarian nodded. “I think so. Whatever that other part inside you is, it doesn’t feel evil. It’s afraid, and it’s angry, but it feels very human.”

Frank thought of Gerard again, and the librarian glanced at him quizzically.

“I think you might be on to something,” she said, clearly responding to his unspoken train of thought that flowed from him in the form of emotional ripples.

This time Frank knew exactly what she meant, and he wasn’t sure how he felt about it. At least it was some sort of confirmation that he was on the right track. “Um, thank you for the reading. Let me just…” He grabbed his wallet from his back pocket, wanting to repay her for her generosity, but she quickly stopped him.

“No, please,” she said. “I’m a far cry from a professional reader; there’s no need to pay me. Besides, my sight is a gift, and it’s one I’ve chosen to share with you. I wish more clairvoyants saw it that way.”

When she put it that way, Frank decided not to try and persuade her otherwise. Instead, he put his wallet away and grabbed his books from the desk. “Well, if you insist. Thank you again, you're very kind.”

The librarian smiled and began to walk off to start on another task. “Best of luck, friend.”

Frank let the words wash over him. He had no doubt he would need that extra luck.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> {The Church - Under the Milky Way}
> 
> Thanks for reading! :)


	7. Haunted House

_“You hear a sweet voice in your head, it says / “Oh won’t you stay here with me?”_

* * *

** _10.10.2003_ **

Nearly two weeks had passed since Frank’s nightmare, and even though he hadn’t had another one since then, the activity in his house had noticeably increased.

He would wake up and notice all his furniture had been moved around his room, or he would come home to discover every single light in the house had been turned on. He never saw it happen right in front of him, but he knew that anytime he turned around, there was a chance he would find something out of place.

Not to mention, the air was so cold that Frank made a habit of wearing multiple layers of clothing around his house, and he had piled so many blankets on his bed that it was nearly suffocating. He’d tried cranking up his heater, but it clearly wasn’t going to work even if he had it repaired. In fact, he doubted anything was really wrong with it at all.

The conditions certainly weren’t unlivable, but they were unnerving to the point that Frank refused to have anyone over, and he found himself spending more and more time with friends just so he could be away from home.

The part that really, truly frightened him more than anything else was the touches. He would usually feel them early in the morning as he sat at his kitchen table and drank his coffee. Disembodied, icy contact would run over his skin out of nowhere, accompanied by a feeling of deep sadness. Unlike all the other activity, that had only started a few days ago. Needless to say, Frank was now a nervous wreck anytime he was stuck inside his house.

He was at a loss for what to do. It felt ridiculous, considering he dealt with things like this for a living, but he was paralyzed by fear and utterly out of control. Jamia had been over to cleanse his house another time since the candle incident, but if anything, it only seemed to make things worse. At the very least, no bodily harm had been done to him. The presence didn’t feel malevolent, it was just clearly unhappy.

If the entity haunting him really was Gerard (Frank still wasn’t completely sure yet), either he was being an annoying little shit for the hell of it, or he was trying to get Frank’s attention. Frank did have a notion that all of the activity was the result of him continuing to work on Mikey’s case, but he was determined not to abandon it, no matter how scared he was.

Speaking of Mikey’s case, he and Ray had gone back to his house and done a thorough examination of the entire property. They’d taken more readings and gathered more footage than they could ever need, but they’d still come back with absolutely nothing. No leads, no bizarre changes in temperature or grumbly EVPs… The house seemed completely and utterly normal and very much not haunted.

They’d looked into the history of the property, interviewed a few residents who lived in the area, spoken with some of Mikey’s extended family, and even discussed with Officer Bradley the chances of it being a natural phenomenon (it wasn’t). They’d scoured and exhausted so many resources, but it wasn’t getting them anywhere, and both of them were incredibly frustrated.

Frank knew telling Ray about his supposed interactions with Gerard would be _something_, at least, but a voice inside his head kept demanding he keep it a secret. And so, he did.

Well, from everyone except the librarian.

He’d been back to the library a couple of times. First to return the books, which hadn’t yielded him much information besides elaborations on things he already knew, and again to ask the librarian, Lindsey, what she thought he should do about his haunting.

She’d offered him a lot of potential solutions, and Frank had followed through with all of them. Most of it was basic witchcraft that the unpracticed could easily perform, and Frank had really thought it would do something. Unfortunately, none of it had worked. He had also made sure to ask Lindsey if the activity could have something to do with the condition of his aura, and she had told him it was a possibility, but she couldn’t know for sure.

One thing she was absolutely adamant about was that he did _not_, under any circumstances, attempt to communicate with the spirit directly. Frank hadn’t even thought of doing that, but he knew she was right. That could lead to a whole new world of trouble in a million different ways.

* * *

As the week came to a close and Frank and Ray were nearly finished looking through the extra readings they’d gathered for Mikey’s case, they realized they really weren’t getting anywhere. And as much as they hated to admit it, they had other cases to work on that were far more substantial, and they’d need something new to go off of if they ever wanted to get anything more out of this one.

“I feel bad,” Ray said as Frank packed up his stuff, getting ready to head home from Ray’s house. “I really want to find something for Mikey.”

“Yeah, me too,” Frank sighed, thinking of how sad Mikey had seemed every single time he’d spoken to him over the last few weeks.

“It’s just so weird. There’s _nothing_. It’s almost like something out there doesn’t want us to solve this case,” Ray said.

“Gosh, don’t say that,” Frank said.

“Well.” Ray shrugged. “That’s what it seems like.”

Frank frowned and twisted his mouth to the side as he thought about it. “You know, there is that one guy. Mikey gave me his number, remember? We haven’t talked to him yet.”

“That’s true, but how much do you think he’s really gonna know?” Ray asked skeptically.

“I don’t know, but I think it’s worth a try.”

As Frank stood up and began heading to the door, he took note of the anxious edge to Ray’s voice and demeanor, and he frowned a little deeper. Frank was stressing over this case and paranormal investigation was his only big responsibility, so he couldn’t imagine the stress of work on top of college. He had to remind himself every now and then that Ray had much more on his plate.

“Tell you what,” Frank said. “I’ll give the guy a call when I get home and then we can put this case to the side for now. Maybe you should take a break for a few days, too. I don’t want you to overwork yourself.”

“No, that’s okay,” Ray started. “I can help.”

Frank shook his head. “You deserve some time off, dude. You gotta remind my dropout ass that you don’t have all the time that I do every once in a while.” 

Ray laughed and smiled fondly as he pulled the front door open for Frank. “The dropout life sounds really great right about now.”

“Uh, sorry, but we need your expertise. Please finish your degree.” Frank was honestly only half-joking. Yes, he had plenty of experience with the paranormal under his belt, but Ray was on his way to becoming an actual, certified professional, and his knowledge was pivotal to their success as investigators more often than not.

“Don’t worry, I’m not gonna give up on it now,” Ray said. “Anyway, you go make that call and tell me what the guy says. And you’d better not expect me to sit around and let you do all the work for too long.”

“No, I’m serious, take all the time you need,” Frank insisted. “I’ll text you later if I manage to get a hold of him.”

“Sweet. Well, get home safe. I’ll see you later.” 

“Bye.” Frank stepped out into cool evening air and listened to the door swing shut behind him. He was less than thrilled to go back home, as usual, but he hoped he would get some answers from his contact once he was there.

Ten minutes later, after driving back and changing into more comfortable clothes, Frank was sitting in the recliner in his living room. He was donned in a sweater and wooly socks and wrapped up in a blanket, yet he was _still _having trouble staying warm. If he knew for sure that the spirit here was Gerard, he would speak aloud and ask him to cut it out already. But he wasn’t sure, and Frank didn’t want to accidentally provoke something dangerous.

Frank resolved to ignore the cold as he dialed the phone number Mikey had given him with stiff fingers. He made the call and waited, not really expecting an answer but certainly hoping for one. To his surprise, his wish was granted when the ringing in his ear stopped and a tired-sounding voice spoke on the other line.

“Hello?”

“Hi there, is this Bert McCracken?”

“…Yes?”

Frank snapped into people pleaser mode like he habitually did when he _really _needed information from someone, and his voice raised to a far-too-friendly higher pitch. “Great! I’m Frank Iero; I’m a part of the Malimore Paranormal Investigation Agency. One of our clients gave me your contact information recently. He thought you might know something about one of the cases we’re working on.”

There was silence for an uncomfortable amount of time, and Frank was beginning to wonder if Bert was just going to hang up. 

“Is this about Gerard Way?”

Frank was surprised at first, but when he thought about it, it kind of made sense that Bert would be able to guess. “Yes, it is. I was told you were a friend of his.”

“Yeah, I was.” He sounded put off. “Did Mikey tell you to call me?”

“He did,” Frank answered hesitantly.

“Yeah, he’s kept on looking for Gerard long after the rest of his family. This time I actually thought he’d let it go. It’s been a few years since he’s so much as brought him up.” Bert sighed. “He’s had a lot of people talk to me, so…”

Bert sounded tired, but not necessarily hostile. Frank had a feeling he was concerned for Mikey, but he wanted to move on from the disappearance of his old friend. The situation only seemed sadder now that he better understood the extent of Mikey’s desperation to find his brother.

“This time may be a little different. There was a pretty extreme paranormal incident here recently, and we have a bit of evidence that suggests Gerard may have been involved somehow,” Frank explained. “It would help us if we knew some more about the events leading up to his disappearance.”

“Extreme paranormal incident?” Bert questioned. “That’s not something I hear every day anymore. You really don’t realize how _weird_ the Forest of Souls is until you leave.” 

Frank had lived in the Forest of Souls, which was the rural area consisting of Malimore and the surrounding towns, for his entire life. The whole community was well-acquainted with the supernatural, which was why it was so cut off from the rest of the world, hidden deep within one of the Southern California forests. So even though he didn’t know firsthand what Bert was talking about, he was sure all the talk of ghosts and whatnot did sound strange when he was living in a world that focused so heavily on the physical.

“I can imagine,” Frank chuckled.

“Anyway. Can I ask what happened?” Bert asked.

Frank technically wasn’t supposed to give the details to anyone outside of Malimore for the sake of town security. He chewed on his lip, thinking about it, before deciding a brief synopsis couldn’t hurt. “There was a death in Mikey’s home that was obviously the doing of a supernatural being. He said just before it happened, he heard Gerard’s voice very clearly somewhere in the house.”

“Are you trying to say the ghost of my childhood best friend murdered someone?” Bert asked, sounding entirely unconvinced. “Because that’s not something Gerard would do. I don’t doubt that there was a 'supernatural death' or whatever, but chances are that Mikey just imagined his voice. Grief does some crazy things, even after years and years of processing.”

“I understand,” Frank said, “but we want to consider a range of scenarios, including those in which Mikey really _did _hear Gerard’s voice. It’d be easier to rule a few of those scenarios out if we knew more about how he disappeared.”

“Hm.” Bert didn’t sound like he wanted to be reasoned with, and Frank was starting to grow desperate.

“I know it’s less than convenient to talk about it like this, and I understand if it’s difficult for you,” Frank began. “But the truth is, we’ve exhausted all of our other resources. I _really _tried to avoid calling you. I know you’re off living your own life away from here now, and I’m just some random paranormal investigator who’s probably really getting on your nerves, but you’re the only contact I have left.”

“Yeah, you kind of are getting on my nerves.” Bert’s demeanor seemed to lighten a bit, but of course, it was hard to tell over the phone. “I bet I’m getting on yours, too.”

Frank didn’t answer, he just waited.

“I’ll take that as a yes, then,” Bert said, but his voice didn’t sound angry or malicious. “What do you need to know?” 

Frank let out a breath he didn’t know he’d been holding. He didn’t know how he’d pulled that whole thing off, but he was definitely relieved. “Thanks for being willing, I truly appreciate it. So…I understand you were the last person Gerard talked to?” 

“That’s right.” 

“Would you mind telling me about that conversation? Or maybe what he was doing, or what he was planning on doing afterwards?”

“We were just talking on the phone, helping each other out with homework or something. He was at home, and he said he was going to sleep before he hung up. Then he just stopped showing up to his classes, and the next thing I know, his family’s filed a missing person’s report and the cops want to talk to me.”

“So he didn’t mention going out that night at all?” Frank asked. “What about the next day? Did he have plans in the morning?”

“Just school,” Bert said. “I’m not sure how much you already know about it, but everything was left exactly how it was before he disappeared. It’s like he just vanished on the spot.”

Frank proceeded to ask Bert all the standard questions a police officer would have, and he got all the answers he had expected – nothing about Gerard’s life leading up to his disappearance had seemed out of the ordinary. He hadn’t been talking to anyone suspicious or exhibiting strange behavior, and he had no real reason to want to run away from Malimore as far as Bert was aware.

“This isn’t getting you anywhere,” Bert said after what felt like a thousand questions.

“Well, no, not really,” Frank admitted.

“I guess…there was one thing that happened before his disappearance that I always thought was kind of weird, but everyone else has just brushed it off. Even I doubt it really means anything.”

“Please, go ahead,” Frank said. “I’ll take anything you have to give me.”

Bert took a deep breath. “Okay. If you live in Malimore, I’m sure you know about the vampires.”

Frank’s interest piqued a bit at that. “I do.” 

“Well, everything happened at the beginning of November, so just after Halloween, right? So, we went to this Halloween party together, and it was at that abandoned house on the edge of the Vampires’ Woods, because we were fucking idiots back then and we didn’t think anything bad could possibly come of that.”

Just a few sentences in, Frank was already starting to think whatever Bert was about to say wasn’t going to be plausible. Even venturing a little ways into the Woods themselves wasn’t terribly dangerous, as long as you stayed close to the edge and didn’t do anything to provoke the creatures that lived there, but of course, he was still going to listen to what he had to say. 

“When we were leaving,” Bert continued, “Gerard thought he saw this figure standing in the Woods, watching the house. I laughed it off at first because we were both buzzed and it was dark out. But he said he remembered it the next day and everything, so it must’ve really stuck out in his mind.”

Frank wasn’t totally convinced. First of all, the vampires hardly even left the Woods. The only reason anyone knew they existed at all was that there had been a few sightings in the past, in addition to a few centuries-old books written about them by witches, and even those who had seen them in person had walked away without a scratch. Indeed, they were very dangerous; it was human souls they were after, not blood like all the fairytales said. Frank didn’t know how all of that worked or why they didn’t hunt more often, but he did know they were solitary creatures that would leave you alone as long as you did the same for them.

Second of all, Bert had said himself that both he and Gerard were under the influence at the time of the odd sighting, and that figure Gerard had seen could’ve been literally anything.

But Frank decided not to tell Bert this, mostly out of respect, but also because he didn’t want to rule anything out completely just yet.

“Did Gerard ever go into the Woods?” Frank asked.

“Nah, I don’t think so. I know it doesn’t really make sense, but I thought you should know. Just in case.”

Frank pondered the detail in the back of his mind as he and Bert continued to talk. It really didn’t sound like it would lead anywhere. It was hardly even anything to go off of, either, but Frank didn’t have anything else going for him, so what was the harm in chasing after it?

“Hey, if I went and searched the Woods, do you think I would find anything?” Frank asked once the conversation had died down a little.

“I don’t know, maybe. Vampires are good at covering their tracks, but not good enough to go without leaving a trace,” Bert said. “But it’s kind of dangerous. Probably not worth the risk.”

Frank knew Bert was right, but was he already determined to go anyway? Just because he wanted to see what he could find? Absolutely.

He asked Bert a couple more questions before thanking him for his time and wrapping up the interview. He promised to call him back if they found anything, but Bert made it clear that he doubted they really would. It wasn’t exactly encouraging, but Frank shrugged it off.

Afterward, he sent Ray a quick message detailing his _incredibly_ stupid plan to go deep into the Woods and see what they could find.

Younger Malimore residents probably weren’t as afraid of the elusive vampires as they should’ve been. But to be fair, there hadn’t been any attacks for several decades, so there didn’t seem to be any reason to be. Some didn’t even believe they really existed. And on top of all of that, Frank wanted to take advantage of every potential lead he could find.

Not ten seconds after Frank sent the text, the lamp beside him flickered, followed soon after by a loud crash coming from his bedroom. It startled him and made him jump, goosebumps forming on his arms as his body filled with adrenaline, but after enduring weeks of near-relentless activity, he was equally angry and afraid.

“What the hell?” Frank whispered to himself, voice shaking a bit. “I'm so tired of this shit.” He stood up and hesitated a moment before he began marching down the hallway to investigate. He was pissed, and all of his previous plans of avoiding provocation were suddenly halfway out the window.

He wasn’t sure what had come over him. This kind of behavior was so unlike himself. It was like now that this was happening in his personal space, his experience was totally gone.

He stomped into his bedroom and found every light flickering rapidly as if the lightbulbs themselves were trembling in fear. The room was so cold Frank could see his breath, and he immediately felt a strong aura of terror that was not his own wash over his very soul.

An icy breath of a touch ran over the location of the cut on his arm, and Frank jumped back and gasped, reaching up to place a protective hand over the wound.

“What do you want?” he demanded into the empty air. All of his past dealings with the paranormal, every ounce of professionality he had within him, seemed to dissipate in an instant. He felt invaded, and he hated it more than anything.

“Fine, I’ll just leave then!” he shouted, but when he turned around and prepared to bolt out of the house, an unseen force tried to shove him backward. It wasn’t strong enough to actually stop him, but it was enough to make a point. 

Frank took a shaky breath as roiling fear settled deep in his gut, and he realized he’d really screwed himself over now. Not only had he been advised by multiple people throughout his life not to provoke unknown entities, but in the heat of the moment, he hadn’t brought any means of protection with him. Now he tried desperately to recall one of the communication methods he’d normally use in an advanced situation like this. It seemed like the spirit here mainly just wanted to get Frank’s attention, and at last, he managed to pull it together enough to think to use one of the most basic communication practices.

“Okay, listen to me,” Frank said, turning back around to face the room. “If you want to talk, I need you to turn all the lights back on and keep them on. You have my attention now, so what you’re doing isn’t going to accomplish anything anymore.”

And clearly the spirit wasn’t beyond reasoning, because one by one, every light in the room stopped its flickering to glow brightly like normal.

Frank sighed in relief. “Okay, good.” He rubbed his temples as he tried to think of where to even begin. He just knew he had to remain in control. “This is how this is gonna work. I’m going to ask you some questions, and if-”

Before he could even finish, the lights went out all at once, plunging him into darkness, and the temperature dropped low enough that it stung every inch of his skin.

Frank yelped and began backing toward the door. “O-okay, okay… No questions, then? You just want to talk like normal?” 

The lights immediately blinked back on, and then Frank understood.

Well, so much for control. 

“C-can I go grab my recorder?” he asked in a small voice. “We can talk that way.”

The lights dimmed out to blackness again, and Frank sighed in frustration. If he wasn’t so afraid, he would’ve felt like he was dealing with a bratty toddler.

“Give me a minute, let me think,” he said. Cold fingertips brushed the back of his shoulder like they had done the past few mornings and he gasped, jerking backward. “Just a minute, please!” he cried.

Frank thought about the candle he’d lit that night several weeks ago, just before he’d gone to sleep at Ray’s house. That had been the only time he’d seen the ghost in the waking world. Maybe they could freely communicate that way, even though Frank wasn’t sure how it would actually work.

And then he thought about Lindsey, and how that was kind of the exact thing she’d told him _not _to do.

Frank went back and forth in his mind over it, considering the positives and negatives and the possible dangers, and he finally decided that if it meant getting some answers, it was worth a try.

Maybe he was an idiot, but he was going to do it. He was going to talk to the spirit haunting his home, right here in his bedroom, all alone, like he just _wanted _something terrible to happen to him.

“I have to go get something,” Frank said. “I promise you’ll get to talk in just a second.”

As he walked down the hall, he continued to feel the same icy fingertips brushing his shoulders and his hands and the insides of his wrists. It didn’t necessarily feel threatening, just kind of impatient, maybe even a little sad. The touch was…familiar, almost. Not like he’d felt it before, but like it somehow belonged against his skin. Even so, it was still very frightening, and Frank wanted it to stop.

“Cut it out,” he hissed. “You’re scaring me.”

Immediately the touching ceased, and Frank almost felt as if the spirit had backed away.

“Thank you,” he sighed. He bent down to open one of his kitchen cupboards and retrieved a white candle, a holder, and a pack of matches before heading back to his bedroom. He could feel the spirit trailing behind him, kind of like the scariest puppy ever.

Frank sat down in the middle of the floor and placed the candle down gently in its holder. He struck a match, lit the wick, and waited.

The suspense was beyond excruciating. Frank had no idea if he needed to go through a summoning ritual or not since the spirit was already present, so he just closed his eyes and waited a little longer to see what would happen.

Then he felt a chill breeze run over his body, engulfing him in a feeling of familiarity like the one that had come over him just like with the touches. When he opened his eyes, slowly lifting his head to look forward, he was met with the figure of another person sitting cross-legged on the floor on the other side of the candle.

And just as Frank had expected, it was him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> {OH!hello - Haunted House}
> 
> Next week's update is gonna be late because I'm drowning in school and out of pre-written chapters. :')
> 
> Thanks for reading!


	8. Untitled

_“Feeling him gnawing my heart away hungrily / I’ll never lose this pain, never dream of you again.”_

* * *

** _10.10.2003_ **

Every light was snuffed out – the artificial glow of light bulbs, the lamps lining the streets, all sources of brightness across the face of the earth, and even the celestial bodies themselves, had disintegrated into nothingness. The air was blanketed in a layer of thick ink that swallowed everything in its wake, and the only flicker able to withstand the darkness was the candle. It was a focal point, an object of fixation. Everything else around it seemed to cave in. All Frank could see was the dancing flame and, of course, the ghost sitting just on the other side of it.

The ghost looked the same as he had the first time Frank had seen him illuminated by candlelight. There was a highlight across the bones in his face, but his eye sockets and the hollows of his cheeks were filled with eerie shadows that made him look nothing short of sinister. However, the deep lines of sadness carved into his expression had Frank reconsidering his instinctual fear. The ghost looked so much less angry now than he had before. And this time, Frank had a feeling he could break their connection if he only leaned forward and blew out the candle. But he wasn’t going to do that. Not yet, anyway.

After a moment of silence, the ghost’s lips pulled themselves into a frown. “Sorry, but you don’t get to do all the talking this time,” he said, voice flat, as his eyes scanned across Frank’s face.

Frank knit his brow and crossed his arms over his chest. He was wary, but he refused to let his fear hold him back from getting his answers. “You’ve been trying to get my attention for weeks,” he said. “Why not just come to me in a dream again? Why wait?”

The ghost sighed and shook his head. “It’s not as simple as you think.”

Frank didn’t respond. He waited for the ghost to elaborate, and when he didn’t, Frank decided to fill the silence himself. “You didn’t answer my question the last time I saw you.”

The ghost blinked. “Which one?”

“I asked whether you’re Gerard or not,” Frank said. He was surprised the ghost was being agreeable so far despite his stubborn front. Well…relatively agreeable, anyway.

“Yeah, that’s me. I thought you’d already figured it out,” the ghost – Gerard, as Frank now knew he was for certain – said with a confused look on his face.

Frank shrugged. “I was able to guess, but you never actually answered. It’s better not to make assumptions when it comes to…”

“Ghosts? Dead people?” Gerard prompted after a pause. “You can say it, you know. You aren’t gonna hurt my fuckin’ feelings.”

The truth was, Frank had never had an actual conversation with a full-bodied apparition before, so now, in the moment, he had no idea what the rules were or what was okay to say out loud. And because Gerard was so different from any other ghost he’d interacted with, things were a bit more complicated. He didn’t even have a set idea of how their candlelit communication worked in the first place.

Frank decided to change the subject. “What did you want to talk about?” he asked.

Gerard’s eyes widened in disbelief. “Isn’t it obvious?”

Frank shook his head. He was starting to become annoyed all over again. “No, not really.” In reality, he figured it had something to do with the investigation, but he didn’t want to bring it up and draw Gerard’s attention to it if that wasn’t actually the case.

Gerard let out a bitter laugh at Frank’s reply, one that sounded choked and almost panicky. “Jesus, Frank. Sometimes I don’t think you’re ever going to listen to me.”

_Um…what?_ Either Frank was totally imagining it, or there was a lot more to Gerard’s words than what hung at the surface. He’d spoken as if he was talking to someone he’d known for a long time, someone close to him who he was deeply, painfully frustrated with. Frank didn’t know how to respond to the complexity of it, so he just sat there and waited for something else to be said.

Gerard’s intense gaze continued to permeate through Frank’s physical form and touch his very soul, and he sighed at the lack of response he received. Something about his demeanor changed during those moments of silence like his defensive front was melting away.

“_Mikey_,” Gerard said at long last. “I told you to leave him alone and you didn’t listen. Now you’re about to get yourself into even more trouble, and- god, _fuck_.” He brought his hands up to his face and pressed his palms against his eyes.

Frank watched in utter shock as one tear slipped past the heel of Gerard’s hand before he could stop it. It glimmered in the orange glow of the candle as it slid down his cheek, and he violently brushed it away before it could complete its journey down his face.

“Fuck,” he whispered again, voice cracking under the pressure of emotion.

To say Frank had no idea what to do or how to feel was a massive understatement. Gerard’s tears had come on so suddenly, and it was difficult to tell whether they were born from anger or fear or sadness or a combination of the three. For Frank, seeing his friends and family cry was already uncomfortable enough, and now, as he watched the literal _ghost that was haunting him_ break down into tears against his will, all Frank could do was sit there completely frozen.

“He’s all I have left,” Gerard breathed. “Everyone I ever loved is either dead or they’ve just…moved on from me. And I know that’s normal, but-” He was cut off by a small choked noise in the back of his throat, and he lowered his hands so they could rest over his cheeks. “You shouldn’t have to watch that shit happen. You’re not supposed to be aware of what goes on after you die, you’re just supposed to be fucking _dead_. But I can’t move on and it’s all because of you.”

Frank was taken aback. He watched with wide eyes as Gerard suddenly broke down right in front of him, no longer attempting to hide his tears. He didn’t understand the depth behind his words, and he wasn’t sure he wanted to.

One thing Frank had become quite good at in his line of work was consoling the families of the departed. It wasn’t easy and it didn’t always have positive results, but his gauge of what to say and when to say it had improved significantly since he’d first begun working to fine-tune it. But this…this was somehow the exact opposite of all those situations and Frank was utterly lost.

“And guess what!” Gerard laughed, tearing his hands away from his face, voice so bitter it was biting. “It gets worse. Because if it weren’t for you, my parents would probably still be here. Alive, just like they should be.”

Gerard’s accusation slammed into Frank’s chest with impossible force. He was so shocked that he lost his breath and his voice and his ability to think all at once. His utter confusion barred him from processing the information being hurled at him.

“And Mikey’s next,” Gerard went on, his voice rising in pitch alongside his hysteria. “He’s been next for years. I’ve worked so hard to keep him safe. I really don’t think you would believe the things I’ve done just so that he could live another day. But then you come along, and you interject yourself into his life, and you bring _me _into it. And now everything I’ve sacrificed is for nothing, and the life I’ve watched him create for himself is for nothing, and all those days he fought to survive without me or my parents there with him were for nothing. It’s all for nothing.”

Frank’s mouth was open wide, devoid of all the things he should’ve said. Or maybe his silence was for the better, because clearly Gerard was upset with him for serious reasons. Frank had no idea what he’d done or how he’d done it, but he felt terribly guilty and his instincts were begging him to apologize.

“But then there’s you, too,” Gerard whispered. His expression was pained like he didn’t want to say whatever was coming next, but he went on anyway. “I care about you. No matter how many times I tell myself to forget about you I just _can’t_.” He sniffed and wiped his nose on the back of his trembling hand. “And honestly, I know you’re one of the kindest fucking people on this entire planet and you really, truly just want to help everyone around you, but believe me when I say that you’re going to have the opposite effect this time.”

Frank was still at a loss for what to say. Before his brain even had the chance to catch up to his body, he leaned forward and stretched his arm out, past the invisible boundary created by the candle and into the space Gerard inhabited. When his hand crossed over Gerard’s it only cut through empty, albeit unnaturally cold, air. Frank felt so compelled to touch him, like he _had _to or else something inside of him was going to break. He couldn’t think of a reason why he felt that way other than his instinct to comfort a hurting soul merging with his propensity to show affection in tactile ways.

Gerard glanced down absently at the hand Frank had tried to touch, and then at Frank with a hint of bewilderment in his eyes. He didn’t say anything else, he just sat there and waited. It seemed the outburst of desperation he’d had was over.

It was quiet for a while. Frank could hear the occasional car passing by and the familiar sounds of the old house around him settling against itself. As frightening and upsetting as Gerard’s emotional state was and as shocking as his words were, something about having him there just felt serene. The juxtaposition was so, _so_ fucking confusing. When Frank concentrated on stripping away the negative context and the subjective emotions he was feeling, it was like some distant part of him was finally within his reach. He couldn’t explain it and he couldn’t rationalize it at all, so instead he just tried to push it down.

“I…I’m sorry. I’m really sorry,” Gerard whispered at last, so quietly it was hardly intelligible. “I shouldn’t have…fuck, I’m sorry.” He trembled and wrapped his arms around himself, body curling inward as he sought out some sort of comfort. “I know you don’t understand, but please, you _have _to believe me.”

“Y-you said I’m the reason your parents are dead,” Frank murmured. His shock and confusion came crashing down on him once again. The idea that he could’ve somehow been responsible for someone else’s death made his chest constrict.

“No, I didn’t mean…” Gerard sighed and ran his hand through his hair. “I shouldn’t have said that. I shouldn’t have said _any _of that. That’s not what I-”

“What _did _you mean, then?” Frank spat, a sudden burst of anger rising up in his chest. “Why _would_ you say something like that?”

Gerard jumped and looked up with wide, surprised eyes. “I’m sorry…”

“If you’re sorry then you’ll explain to me what the hell you meant.” Frank wasn’t sure how he’d gone from peace like he’d never felt before to burning anger in a matter of seconds. He was still battling with himself internally over which one to focus on.

“I can’t,” Gerard said. “It wouldn’t be safe.”

Frank scoffed. “Wouldn’t be safe? How?”

“I would explain if I could, I swear.” Gerard’s own strain was beginning to return to his voice even though he looked genuinely regretful. “Maybe some other time. Maybe-”

“No. You can’t say something like that just so you can _maybe _tell me why,” Frank insisted. “That’s not fair.” He was beginning to feel emotion welling up in his own chest as the fear and confusion of the past couple of weeks began to rise up to the surface, threatening to boil over.

Then they both fell into silence again. Frank was recovering from his outburst and he was sure Gerard was coming down from his own as well. Part of Frank wanted to believe that every fiery display he’d seen from Gerard was spurred on by a frantic need to protect anything he had left in the physical world. Plus, it was almost completely safe to say that he had never hurt Frank on purpose. But that didn’t mean Frank’s own feelings weren’t valid whenever he was treading such unfamiliar waters and being filled to the tipping point with information he didn’t understand. He just wished Gerard would either give him an explanation or leave him be.

“How long have you been here? Haunting me?” Frank asked once he felt they had both settled down enough to talk again. He was willing to give Gerard the benefit of the doubt and push past his anger for now. He still wanted to try and make their conversation productive. After all, that’s what he would do in any other situation like this. He wished he could cling on to a bit more of his professionalism when it came to Gerard, but his uncertainty always took him over first.

“I…” Gerard shifted, clearly uncomfortable. “Years.”

Frank’s stomach twisted horribly at that. He had expected the answer to be months at most. “How many years?”

“Eighteen.”

Behind his unease, Frank’s curiosity spiked. Eighteen? Didn’t he disappear eighteen years ago?

“But listen,” Gerard said when Frank didn’t offer up a response, “it’s not…it’s not like the hauntings you work with. It’s completely different.”

“Oh yeah? How?” Frank questioned, voice flat.

“It’s…I don’t know if ‘haunting’ is even the right word for it,” Gerard said. Then, when he realized Frank wasn’t going to let it go without an explanation, he took a deep breath and carried on. “So…we both have souls, right? You have yours and I have mine.”

Frank raised an eyebrow and nodded.

“Imagine they’re bonded so closely it’s almost like we share one. But we don’t, they’re just…” Gerard sighed. “I know that sounds crazy, but I swear to god.”

Frank thought about his first conversation with Lindsey. It felt like a million years ago now, but he remembered she’d told him something similar to the claim Gerard had just made. Something about part of Frank’s aura not belonging to him.

“So you’re saying you’ve been haunting my soul?” Frank asked. “How is that possible? How can you even know that?”

Gerard sighed. “Let’s say it wasn’t my choice,” he muttered.

Frank didn’t like the sound of that. “Is that why you can’t move on?”

“Yeah. Yeah, it is.”

Frank was less confused in some ways, but a million times more confused in others. “Does that mean I’m gonna be stuck wherever you are when I die?”

Gerard shook his head. “No, not at all. When you die I’ll get to enter the afterlife, and you’ll get to go with me. But until then…”

“Holy shit, you aren’t gonna try to kill me, are you?” Frank asked, sudden fright hitting him like a punch to the throat. He was fully prepared to blow out the candle and make a beeline for his front door if he had to, but Gerard looked surprised and maybe even a little hurt by his question.

“No! I would never do that!” he exclaimed. “I’m not even capable of doing that. If I killed you, then…well, it would be bad. Real fucking bad.”

Frank sighed and looked down at his hands. He felt angry and invaded, but at the same time, he couldn’t quite push away that sensation of almost-completion. Part of him wanted to run away from the reality he was facing, and another part of him wanted to defy the laws of physics and give the distraught ghost a hug, offer him a warm place to hide even if it was only for a few moments. The razor-edged contrast was driving Frank insane.

“I just wish you would tell me what’s going on,” he murmured.

“I’ll explain everything if I get the chance,” Gerard said. “But for now, I just need you to trust me.”

“And by trust you, you mean cut off all contact with Mikey, right? Even though it’s my job to help him, and I could get in trouble for not doing that. And I’m just supposed to accept the fact that I’m somehow responsible for the death of your parents, and I’m supposed to live my life knowing you’re always in my space?” Frank looked up and waited expectantly for an answer.

Gerard frowned. “You’re not responsible for their death, Frank. You were a part of the equation leading up to it, but you had no idea. It’s not your fault.”

“Saying that doesn’t magically make it okay,” Frank said, still skeptical.

“I know it doesn’t.”

“And I’m not going to leave Mikey’s case alone unless you can give me an actual reason not to.”

Gerard’s face darkened in disbelief. “If you go to the Woods, you’ll wind up dead. Is that not a good enough reason?”

“So this is about the Woods now?” Frank questioned. “And since when is my life important here? I thought you were worried about Mikey.”

“I am,” Gerard grumbled. “But I’m also worried about you and your friends. I don’t want any one of you to wind up like me. Or worse.”

“I just don’t see how that could happen,” Frank said. “We’re not putting ourselves in any kind of danger.”

Defeat crept over Gerard’s face and he shook his head with a heavy sigh. “Is there even any point in arguing about this? I’m just trying to keep all of you safe.”

“Why do you even care whether or not I go if my death means you get to move on?” Frank asked.

Gerard knit his brow. “Frank, when I say you’ll die, I don’t mean you’ll _just _die. Believe me when I say that there’ll be a lot leading up to it, and none of it will be pleasant. I would rather stay here than have to watch you, or _anyone_, go through the pain that I have.”

To say the least, Frank was taken aback. That was the last thing he expected to hear from Gerard, but he seemed to truly mean it.

“I know I haven’t acted like it,” Gerard said. “I told you once that I didn’t give a fuck about you, but it wasn’t true, and I’m sorry I said that. I never should have…” He looked down at his lap, fidgeting nervously. “I was scared and angry and that’s all I was able to think about. And _yes_, I would do anything to keep my brother alive, but I want you to stay alive too.”

Frank crossed his arms over his chest and thought about it. He really felt as if Gerard was being sincere. He’d been manipulated before, enough times to be able to pick it out, and Gerard just seemed frantic and overridden with his burdens more than anything else. Frank truly couldn’t begin to imagine what he was going through. However…

“If I had the choice to take your word for it, maybe I would,” he said. “But the thing is, I just _don’t_. And if I were to ask anyone else, they would say the same thing. I can’t drop an entire case without a specific reason.”

Gerard looked like he was about to panic again. “Please…”

“I’m really sorry,” Frank said. “Look, I promise I won’t do anything that’ll put any of us in danger, especially Mikey. I’ll go out of my way to make sure that doesn’t happen.”

“It won’t matter now,” Gerard said. “Even if you really try.”

“I want to find some sort of compromise.”

Gerard shook his head. “There is no compromise; this is life or death. You won’t listen to me.”

Frank threw his hands up in exasperation. “There’s nothing to listen _to_. You haven’t-”

“I’ve been trying,” Gerard mumbled.

“Is that it, then?” Frank asked. Something inside of him told him to stop, to let Gerard stay, but it was being overridden by his frustration and his lingering hurt.

“I guess so.” Gerard shifted backwards a few inches so that his face was obscured in shadow. “But when it all goes to hell, don’t say I didn’t warn you.”

Frank blinked and bit back the number of harsh comments formulating on the tip of his tongue. Instead, he settled for something else he’d been meaning to ask Gerard about. “Could you please stop scaring me, too? If you’re here, that’s…that’s fine. You can stay. Just maybe don’t turn the lights on and off? Or move my stuff around?”

Gerard looked like he had something to say as well, but he took a deep breath and held it back. “Sure thing,” he sighed.

Frank studied what he could see of Gerard’s face for a little while longer. He was phasing back and forth between wanting him to stay and wanting him to go. The longing for the company of the soul he was bound to was beginning to win the battle, however, and Frank decided to cut off their connection before it could advance any further.

“See you later, I guess,” he mumbled.

Gerard didn’t say anything. He just nodded and slunk further back into the darkness until only his silhouette was visible in the dim flicker of the candlelight.

Frank leaned down, took a deep breath, stole one last glance at the ghostly shadow in front of him, and blew out the candle.

Immediately, it was like something in the universe had shifted. Frank could suddenly feel the missing piece inside of him that had been there for as long as he could remember, but that he’d never had the chance to truly acknowledge for what it was. It wasn’t cold or hollow or aching, but it was a definite numbness that made him crave the warmth of a heartfelt embrace or a genuine conversation with a friend or just…Gerard’s presence, right there next to his.

Frank shivered and observed the room around him. It was warmer now, and all of the lights that had been blocked out before were shining just as they normally did. He realized he felt exhausted as if all of his energy had been completely drained from his body, and he wanted nothing more than to crawl into bed and fall asleep.

He took the time to put the candle and lighter back in their place underneath the sink first. He glanced at the dining table and thought of those soft, desolate touches he’d come to despise, and the melancholy feeling that came over him upon recalling the memory was one he couldn’t quite explain.

At long last, he fell into bed, tangling himself up in the blankets as he sought some sort of warmth. He’d brought his phone with him, and he noticed he’d gotten a few texts from Ray. His memories of what had happened before his conversation with Gerard came flooding back and he was able to ignore the hole in his chest and switch back into strictly-business mode. Something about it didn’t feel quite right, as badly as he wanted it to be refreshing.

He shrugged away the feeling of discomfort and focused on reading, and hopefully on figuring out what their next steps were going to be in solving Mikey’s case.

As it turned out, Ray wanted to go explore the Woods on Monday. And he really believed there was a chance they could find something there.

Frank thought about Gerard and the worry that had hung over him like a thick vapor. He thought about his warnings and about his desperate pleas for Frank to keep himself and everyone around him safe. But he hadn’t offered up any detailed explanation as to what would happen if Frank did decide to continue the investigation. In Frank’s mind, there was no concrete reason not to.

So he answered Ray to agree to the plan and confirm he would be there. He wasn’t going to turn back now.

In the back of his mind, Frank really, _really _hoped that Gerard wasn’t right after all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> {The Cure - Untitled}
> 
> I'm back and SO IS MCR HOLY SHIT. 2019 has been a fever dream.


	9. Blood Hands

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Extra warnings for this chapter: Depictions of unwanted physical contact, abuse, and graphic minor character death.

_“And I’ll curse the ground where you kneel / Till I grow my hair to my heels.”_

* * *

** _11.25.1985_ **

I’m finally at peace, drifting all alone like I don’t exist at all, blissfully unaware of the reality that surrounds me. I know it won’t last long, but the fact that I was able to sleep at all is enough for me at the moment. I see glimpses of color, hear distant laughter, but it’s nothing I can decipher. It’s happening so far away, and here I am. None of it matters, none of it hurts, and I’m free. Free from consciousness and free from _Him_.

But then I feel His hands on my hips, and my body jolts as I wake from sleep, the only sweet escape I have from this awful fucking place.

His fingers drag against my sides like daggers made of ice, creating a penetrative cold that leeches on my very bone marrow. Something about His touch sparks a primal fear in me that makes my heart pound and my stomach roil, but trying to get away will only result in worse things. I know because I’ve tried.

I’m not sure how long I’ve been here. I don’t even really know where _here _is. But I do know enough to be careful not to provoke anyone I encounter here. They’re all sick, dangerous bastards and they get off on my fear. They can do anything they want to my body and none of it will ever be enough to put me out of my misery. I was so afraid of death before, but now it just sounds merciful. Sleep is as close as I can get.

_He _is the worst of them all. He’s the reason I’m here, the one who wanted me. I’m not sure why, but He did, and now He has me, and if I ever try to get away, He makes sure to demonstrate to me that I can’t.

I don’t know what it was that He did when I ran the first time, but I never could have comprehended pain like that before I actually experienced it. It was like He broke every bone in my body, one at a time before He put me back together again. Both processes hurt just as badly. And just when I thought it was over, He did it again. And again. And again. Until I was begging Him for mercy, and I finally broke and admitted He has me. He _owns _me.

And the thing is, He really does own me, in a way. Because I…well, I don’t really like to think about why. It’s just that this “body” I’m inhabiting isn’t the physical one I had before. That body is decomposing somewhere back home, but here _I_ am. An unattached soul. Trapped. His.

Sometimes He says He loves me. He doesn’t love me; I know He doesn’t. He can’t possibly love anything when He has such a cold heart, but He says it anyway. He likes to feel me up like He’s entitled to it, and thank fuck it hasn’t gone any further than that. I know His “love” is really just an infatuation with my terror. When my heart beats harder it…I don’t know. It probably turns Him on or sends Him on a power trip or maybe both and just thinking about that makes me want to puke my guts up.

Speaking of which, that was something He did to me too. Made me literally vomit up my fucking intestines. That was fun. At least He let me have them back, I guess.

I never know when something like that is going to happen again. It could happen now, for all I know. _Right now_, as He pulls me against His body. He’s always so cold, even through the velvet robes He wears, and His breath always carries that sweet smell that nauseates me, only now I know what it is.

See, it didn’t take me long to figure out that He and His equally sadistic henchmen are vampires. Yes, the reclusive, inconspicuous, relatively harmless creatures we learned about in history class junior year. The ones who hide away in their Woods and won’t bother you as long as you don’t bother them. Those.

Well, the sweet smell on His breath is that of the souls He’s consumed. I know I smell like it too, now that that’s all I am.

One time He brought a soul back here with Him so He could devour it in front of me. He concealed its identity from me, but watching Him kill it was just…it was one of the most hellish things I will ever see. It was difficult to comprehend with a human mind, but it was worse than any language could ever explain. And it was a threat, because I know that if I step too far out of line, He’ll do the same to me.

Souls aren’t meant to go out of existence. It isn’t natural. They’re supposed to live forever in one place or another, whether they’re attached to a physical body or not. So, killing one is something I can’t quite wrap my brain around, and I’m not sure how it’s even possible, but I do know that it’s a horrible, unforgivable act. If He weren’t immortal Himself, He would be forever damned for it, as would the rest of His vampires.

I feel as if I’ve been damned. I know this isn’t the real Purgatory, the place where corrupted souls go to wander, but it’s a purgatory He’s created just for me. And He’s smart, so fucking smart, because there are only a few conditions under which I can leave, and He uses all of them against me.

I can still visit the earth, just not as a person. I can even manifest as a physical being so long as I have enough power, which is a skill I’m trying to learn to hone. The problem is that He usually knows where I am, and He doesn’t really like it when I leave. He isn’t always looking, but I know there’s always a chance. I have to be careful, and usually, the risk greatly outweighs my desire to halfway go home.

But I don’t get to _actually _leave this place until something very specific happens.

The ritual performed on me before my body died wasn’t just to get me here, it was for another purpose as well. He explained to me that they took my soul and tied it to someone else’s, and until that person dies, I’m stuck here.

I don’t understand His motive for doing such a thing other than blatant sadism, but of course I could be wrong. I only know that whatever it is, He’ll never tell me. I’m starting to gain His trust a bit more, I think, since He’s told me a few things about this place that I wouldn’t have learned otherwise, but if there really is some grand scheme behind all of this, I’m never going to know.

And in the present moment, when He squeezes my hips and digs claw-like fingernails into my flesh, I’m ripped away from my thoughts.

“I know you’re awake,” He whispers in a voice colder than His skin will ever be. His lips are centimeters away from my ear, and His icy breath blows over my skin, leaving behind a nasty chill.

I don’t answer. I just tuck my legs closer to my chest and curl into myself.

“Gerard.” His voice is more like a growl now, changing from silk to shards of glass in a matter of seconds.

Something builds in my chest and I really can’t respond to Him. I just want Him to go away…all of this shit would be so much easier if He left me alone.

“Gerard,” He says again.

I think of how Mikey used to call my name over and over until I woke up, back when we were both much younger. I can hear his voice so clearly as I remember, and now, even though I thought it was annoying as hell back then, I miss it more than anything. What I wouldn’t give to wake up to Mikey calling my name instead of Him.

He makes a noise low in his throat, one that exudes danger. His nails dig deeper until they suddenly break my skin, and before I can stop it, I sob. My heart is racing, chest tight, and I just want to disappear.

“Do you know what happens when you refuse to acknowledge me, pet?” He croons, razor nails pressing deeper still, and fire spreads across my hips.

“Don’t call me that,” I say through gritted teeth. I know it might piss Him off, which is never good, but I won’t let Him have me. Not fully, anyway. He can beat me all He wants but I’ll never completely submit like He wants me to.

“Why?” His fingers drag downwards. I can hear my skin ripping and I’m crying and I hate it. “Are you not mine?”

My fingers clench into fists until my own nails are biting against my palms. My brain conjures up a picture of His nails dragging down to my bones and I swear I’m going to vomit. I don’t want to; He’ll find some way to punish me for it.

“Stop,” I choke out. I hate myself for how weak I sound.

“Answer me, pet.” The pain is amplified. There’s a squelching noise and His fingers are buried inside the cuts, spreading them open, ripping, ripping…

I’m sobbing. I want it to stop. Fuck _all _of this, I just want it to stop.

“Yours!” I cry. “I’m yours.”

His hands fly away from my body, but all the pain is still there, and I’m shaking as He looms over my form. “Good,” He snarls.

I lie as still as I can while I listen to Him move around, circling my body like I’m prey to be devoured. I can feel His eyes on me, but I refuse to open my own to look up at Him. His face terrifies me. It’s so cold, so devoid of emotion.

“I know you’ve been upset as of late,” He says.

Well, no shit. What, does He expect me to _like _it here or something?

I hear the fabric of His robes rustle as He sits down beside me, on the cloud of darkness He’s created for me to sleep on. I’ve discovered the tangible darkness is something I can control as well, and I’m trying to learn how to use it so that I can have something to do that will keep me distracted. He’s offered to teach me, but I refuse to give Him the satisfaction of taking Him up on it.

“Little one.” I flinch as the back of His hand runs across my cheek. “Please look at me. I’m trying to help you.”

The way He can go from sadistic to sickly sweet in a few seconds is so uncanny it makes my head spin. I know He’s just manipulating me, but I have to admit that sometimes, as much as I hate Him, I’m tempted to melt into the rarity of His kind words and gentle touches. I know I’ll probably receive more if I do, and that sounds nice, lonely as I am. But then I remember who I’d be receiving them from, and I feel my stomach roil in disgust that I ever even entertained the idea.

“Gerard,” He says, more sternly this time, and I open my eyes in reluctant surrender. He’s sitting beside me, staring down with a cold white gaze. The corners of His mouth curl up into a half-smile, half-sneer, and His knuckles brush away the tears on my face. “As I was saying, I think I know just how to cheer you up.”

To say I hate the sound of that is the understatement of the goddamn century.

“How?” I ask in a quiet voice. I know I need to humor Him for now. This won’t end well for me if I don’t.

“Well, it may sound a bit…unconventional, at first,” He says, fingers still brushing over my cheek. “Maybe even a bit counterproductive. But I promise you, it’s healed every single one of my pets’ broken hearts in the past.”

I stare at Him, feeling sicker and sicker by the minute. I have no clue what twisted idea He’s come up with, but I’m not at all excited to find out. I think His idea of “healing” is probably far from what’s commonly accepted.

“I’ve told you about the boy,” He continues, and I nod because He has. “You know he’s the reason you’re here, don’t you? If it weren’t for him, you would be at peace, indulging in a blissful afterlife, but here you are, as he continues to live on happily in your former dimension.”

Blatant manipulation. That’s all this is. It’s not the kid’s fault, of course it’s not. He’s not the one who extracted my soul from my body and drove a knife through my heart. He probably doesn’t even know I exist.

“So…” He continues, “All that being understood, I have a solution. A way to ease all of your pain.”

He wraps my hair around His fist and forces me to look at Him, and I try to keep my face as expressionless as possible.

“I want you,” He says, pressing the tip of a finger against my lips, “to give him what he deserves.”

Jesus Christ, what is He about to suggest? He’s just a _kid_. Not to mention that _none of this is his fault_.

“I want you to kill his parents.”

_Wait._

I stop breathing.

_What the fuck?_

“Now, I know what you’re thinking,” He laughs as if this is all some sort of fucking game. “You could never possibly do that, could you? You and your kind _do_ always let your morals hold you back from anything truly satisfactory.” He smiles condescendingly and shakes His head. “But Gerard, darling, you’re a spirit now. You can let go of all those rules forced upon you by society, and you can be free. You can do _anything you please_.”

I furrow my brow and shove His hand away from my face. “Those ‘rules’ are there for a reason,” I hiss in a shaky voice. I push myself up so I’m sitting upright. He still towers over me, but I’m honestly so furious at His casual suggestion that I couldn’t care less. “None of this is his fault. I’m not going to steal his childhood away in the name of misplaced anger.”

And then, to top it all off, I spit in His face.

He smiles.

And I instantly regret it.

“Very well,” He says. I expect Him to do something horrible to me, to lash out and make me wish I’d never been born, but He doesn’t. Instead, He stands up and wipes away my saliva with His sleeve. His face is entirely unreadable. Suddenly I’m terrified. “Every decision comes with a price, pet. I hope you remember that.”

And then He vanishes.

A price…what the hell does that mean?

I try to keep myself from panicking. I’m alone again in the dark with nothing but my thoughts to keep me company, and they begin to wander wildly as I try to process what just happened. That was by far one of the cruelest suggestions I’ve ever heard, and…what _is_ the price for my decision to preserve the lives of two people? To preserve the childhood of an innocent soul?

I won’t say His name. I refuse to. But I want so badly to call out for Him now. I want to know what He meant.

I resign to settle back down and try to fall asleep. My heart is pounding harder the more out of control I feel. Everything about this is terrible.

Maybe I made a mistake. Maybe I can never take it back.

**_12.22.1985_ **

“Please, just let me talk to Him. Please, I can’t-”

I’m crying, on my knees in front of one of His followers, struggling to breathe as I panic. He’s never left me alone for this long before, and this entire time I haven’t stopped thinking about what He said. He allowed my mind to torture me for Him.

“Why?” the vampire asks coolly. This one’s a little less scary; she looks normal except for the jagged teeth lining her gums, and even those aren’t nearly as intimidating as His.

“H-he said…it was something He said. He-”

She sighs heavily. “Listen, I don’t _know _where He is. I only came here to make sure you hadn’t gotten up to any trouble. I didn’t ask to be bombarded by your incessant whining.”

“You don’t understand!” I’m really growing frantic now and I hate how desperate I sound, but I’ve been obsessing over this for what feels like years. “I just need to talk to Him.”

“You’re ridiculous,” she says. “I think you’ve gone mad already, with the way you’re blabbering. He won’t be very happy about that.” She crosses her arms, staring down at me as if I’m a disgusting animal. “He likes to keep you all…sharp. Sharp in the way that He wants you to be.”

I sob and scrub my hands over my face. “_Please_.”

“If He wants to talk to you, then He’ll come and talk to you. Otherwise, I think you should keep to your own damn self.” Her eyes narrow into an icy glare. “I see why He took you and all. He does like the pretty humans. _But_…I’m beginning to think your face is the only desirable thing about you.”

I try not to let it hurt, but it does. It’s ridiculous that I’m getting worked up over that when I have so much else to worry about, but…this entire time I’ve been reduced to nothing but my physical appearance. It’s dehumanizing. Well, I think that’s the point.

“Shame,” she says, clicking her tongue. “All that beauty wasted on a dumb _bitch_.”

“Leave me alone,” I whisper.

“Why? Are you not fond of the truth?”

I’m just about to try to defend myself against her highly fucking unnecessary verbal abuse when there’s a sound like a loud gust of wind, and I feel a cold chill wash over my entire body. I hear her gasp, and my head snaps up just in time to see clouds of darkness dissipating. When they reveal the creature hidden behind them, I’m not sure whether to feel terrified or relieved, because it’s finally Him.

“Master,” she says, bowing her head and acknowledging His presence.

“Asta,” He responds. “Visiting my pets without permission, I see?”

“I sincerely apologize. I only wanted to be sure-”

“Save it,” He spits. “Did I _ask _you to keep tabs on him?”

“Well, I… No, Master.”

“Just as I suspected,” He says, scowl turning into a patronizing smile. “Begone from here. We will discuss this later.”

She nods, a hint of fear glinting in her eyes before she vanishes in a column of smoke just how He appeared. Inside my chest, I feel a twinge of satisfaction at watching the cruel bitch be put in her place.

But I still have to face Him.

He walks over to where I’m still kneeling on the ground before I have the chance to move. I’m sure I look wrecked – there are tears still streaming down my face and my nose is running, but I don’t have the energy to wipe the mess away.

“I’ve missed you,” He says. To my surprise, He sinks down to His knees so that He’s level with me and reaches His hand out to caress my hair. I don’t flinch away this time. It’s too much effort and I don’t have the energy.

“You were gone for so long,” I whisper in a weak, cracking voice. I hardly even recognize it.

“I know I was, darling. I’m so sorry.” He leans back and leaves His arms relaxed and slightly open at His sides like He expects me to seek out comfort from Him, but I won’t. I’m not happy to see Him, I just want to know what kind of shit He got up to while He was away.

“What did you mean?” I ask, at last voicing the question that’s been burning against my skull for an indefinite amount of time. “When you said there had to be a price, what did that mean?”

I see Him smile wickedly at the edge of my vision. “Oh, that _tortured_ you, didn’t it?” It’s clear that makes Him happy. I start to get sick to my stomach.

“What does it mean?” I wrap my arms around my body, trembling all over, praying to whoever could possibly hear me that it was an empty threat He didn’t really act upon. But I know how He works, and I know the price of defiance here is high. And I did defy Him. I refused to succumb to the darkness He loves to indulge in.

“I’ll tell you, pet,” He says. “And when it upsets you, just remember that this was your choice.”

Something like desperation swells up in my chest, its intensified offspring clawing to break free, and I already know that the answer is going to be something terrible.

“I always get what I want in one way or another,” He says. “I’ve walked this world long enough to know just how to manipulate it. It’s quite easy, really. Reality, and the inferior beings who inhabit it, such as yourself, are so malleable. Especially because they lack the awareness to recognize they are without…assistance.” He smiles at me, saccharine sweet.

More tears tumble down my face as I look up at Him properly. “What did you _do_?”

“I think the appropriate question would be, what did _you _do?” He sneers. “_You_ chose to preserve the lives of the boy’s parents, did you not?”

I nod hesitantly.

“Well, Gerard, what you fail to understand is that every decision involving life or death requires sacrifice. When you chose to save them, you sacrificed something else.”

A sob bubbles up in my throat as my panic rises. I clutch my racing heart, breathing shuddery, swallowing down the excess saliva that floods my mouth as my stomach churns.

“Care to guess what that something was?” He coos.

I shake my head quickly. In the back of my mind, I have my suspicions, but I refuse to let my conscious thoughts go there on the off chance that I could be wrong.

Dear God, I hope I’m wrong.

He grins like my terror has made His fucking day, and I’m sure it has. He laughs and wipes a few tears away from my cheek, and I watch as they sparkle against the pale of His fingertips. “Oh, pet,” He says. “You see, when you chose to save your kindred soul’s parents, I thought it was only fair to kill yours instead.”

I sit in stunned, desolate silence. The gears in my brain grate against one another as I try to process the information I’ve just been given. Gradually, the cogs begin to turn faster, and it all begins to set in, and I let out an ugly scream just before hurling my fist at His throat, but He dodges it without batting an eye. Something inside of me breaks, and I crumble, curl in on myself, and all I remember how to do now is scream.

The possibility that that is what He’d done had been at the very bottom of the darkest pit in my mind. _He wouldn’t dare, _I’d thought, but now I realize that was terribly naïve. Because of course, if it meant making my worst nightmare a reality, He absolutely would.

I don’t know how much time passes. The anguish is more crushing than anything I’ve ever experienced, than any torture He’s ever forced upon me or ever could. The realization that they’re _gone _runs through every vein in my body and the knowledge that it was ultimately my choice makes me want to do nothing more than curl up here and die. The two people who were there for me all my life, who loved me unconditionally, and who I was so lucky to have been gifted with, have probably died a gruesome death, and my decision was the fucking catalyst.

It could’ve been years, for all I know, by the time my voice cracks and gives out, breaking into a whine in the back of my throat. All I can do now is cry, every piece of me shaking with the force of it, floods of guilt and anger taking me by storm. The blame flits back and forth between me and Him so rapidly that it’s disorienting, and I can’t decide who is truly the abomination.

“Perhaps you should have listened to me in the first place.” His voice cuts through the long-lived pause like razor wire.

“Fuck you,” I spit. My voice is so hoarse that it’s hardly intelligible but I’m past the point of caring. “_Fuck_ you, you sick bastard.”

He laughs and runs His hand through my hair. I want to kill Him with my bare hands more than I’ve ever wanted anything else.

“Now that you’re _able _to understand, I have another proposition for you,” He hums. “As I said, I _always_ get what I want, from _everyone_, and you are no exception to that.”

“Get the fuck away from me,” I sob. “I don’t want to hear it.”

“Oh, but I think you do,” He says with a smile in His voice. “With your parents _tragically _out of the picture, your little brother’s life is on the line next. So, unless you’d like for me to go and finish him off now, then I would suggest you listen.”

_Mikey_… Oh god, he’s all alone now. Who’s going to take care of him? Who’s going to make sure he has a proper childhood after all this, if that’s even possible anymore? Who’s going to guide him as he grows up and take him to school in the mornings and stay up late with him on the weekends? Who’s going to be there for him when he needs support and make sure he knows he’s loved? Who’s going to be his family? First, he lost me, and now…

No. He hasn’t lost me. Not completely. I have to make sure he’s safe from harm if it’s all I do for the rest of my time here.

“Okay,” I whisper. “I’m listening.”

“Good,” He purrs. “You would do anything to protect him, wouldn’t you? Even if the price was high? Even if it caused you great pain?”

I should’ve known it would come down to this. I should’ve fucking known.

“Why are you doing this?” I ask.

“If I told you, it would defeat the purpose,” He says.

Well, fuck that for an explanation.

“So,” He says, “what’s your answer?”

The choice is obvious, but that doesn’t make me feel any less afraid. I don’t know what He plans on doing, but it sounds like it’s going to be less than pleasant for me, and I know he’s capable of causing me pain I can’t even begin to imagine on my own. But Mikey is, quite literally, all I have left to hold on to. I swore to always be there for him as soon as I was old enough to understand the gravity of that promise, and I’m not about to break it now.

I ask for mercy. I don’t know who it is I’m asking, but I still send it up as a silent prayer, hoping I can be spared at least a fraction of the agony.

“Yes,” I whisper. “I would do anything.”

The fist in my hair tightens until He’s close to ripping the strands out. “Are you sure, pet?” He asks. “Realize that you’re promising me _literally_ anything. Think of it as a contract of sorts. Once you agree, there’s no getting out. Unless, of course, you want to see your brother suffer.”

I take a deep breath and nod. My hands tremble where they rest in my lap. “I’m sure.”

“Excellent.”

I brace for the pain. I prepare for the worst fate imaginable.

But then, the hand in my hair vanishes.

I blink.

Suddenly, I’m in a dark room. Except it’s not really me; I can still feel my body curled up on the cold ground in the void that’s become my home. Right now, I’m seeing through someone else’s eyes as if I’m right there when them.

I realize I’m seeing what He sees.

He makes His way through what appears to be a family’s home. In the dark I can see a Christmas tree up, pictures hung up on the walls, and it’s all so human that it’s strange to me now. It must be nearing Christmastime back on earth. The idea of holidays seems so foreign, so strangely warm, and my heart subtly aches. I wish I could go back.

He wanders down a hallway, gliding silently over the floor, and then through a doorway into a smaller room. He turns and I can see two people fast asleep next to one another. Suddenly, I understand what’s going on.

He always gets what He wants, He said. Every saved life comes with a sacrifice…and this time, I chose Mikey’s over theirs.

I’m not sure why He wants them dead so badly. I’m not sure why He needs my unknowing input before He kills them. But suddenly, hot rage fills my body and waves of bone-splintering guilt wash over me. He knows I would have tried to find a compromise if He’d told me what He really planned to do. He knows I’d rather sacrifice myself than see any innocent lives stolen away. He knows I care too damn much.

Now, instead of begging the sky for mercy, all I wish for is forgiveness. I feel like a horrible monster, like this was somehow all my fault even though He deliberately manipulated me into it. And if this is only the first part of our so-called contract, then what else does He plan on doing? And _why_? What’s the point if He already has me anyway?

He doesn’t touch them. He doesn’t move at all. But when I begin to feel their pain as if He’s inflicting it upon me, I know He’s killing them with His mind.

It starts with the sensation of choking, the feeling of warm liquid and the taste of sour metal at the back of my throat. Blood pours from eyes, nostrils, mouths, every individual pore, and it feels as if each organ is being crushed. They aren’t moving, aren’t making any kind of sound, but I know they can feel it. My body feels paralyzed, so theirs’ must be too. I’m unable to react to any of the pain, but it’s still bright and vivid like a glaring alarm. It goes on and on, and I wonder for a moment if He killed my parents this way, and then there’s a loud crack and a terrible pain in my neck, and then everything stops, and suddenly it’s all over. The pain is gone. They’re dead.

I don’t know what to think or what to do. I don’t know how to feel. All I can do is watch. Out of thin air, he produces a selection of random objects. There’s a comb, a cassette tape, a pencil, a lighter, a glove…and I realize that they were all mine before I was brought here, which does nothing to calm my rising confusion. He leaves them scattered about the floor, placing one last item down before the vision ends and I’m plunged back into darkness.

It was a polaroid. A photo of me, and I recognize it immediately. Bert took it on my birthday. He kept it hung up on the corkboard above his desk, in the middle of a collage of other random pictures and notes from friends. And the reason it was left there, in the middle of the bedroom floor along with a few of my other belongings, is absolutely beyond me.

I sit in the darkness, back where I began, stunned and fucking traumatized to say the very least. My mind is blank until I think of Mikey, and I think of the kid whose name I don’t even know, and I slowly come to the realization that they’re both about to spend Christmas alone. They’ll be reminded of what they lost during this special time of year. Every year for the rest of their lives.

My heart crumbles into dust, and I cry.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> {Royal Blood - Blood Hands}
> 
> Oh man, I'm so sorry for the long wait on this update! Life's been busy and also this chapter was just really hard to write. But the tragedy is for a reason, as you'll be finding out for yourself pretty soon...
> 
> Also, I've started listening to horror movie soundtracks when I write and it has actually changed my life. 10/10 would recommend if you also write spooky stories.
> 
> Thank you for reading!


	10. Our Lady of Sorrows

_“And take my fucking hand / And never be afraid again.”_

* * *

** _10.13.2003_ **

They met at the old, abandoned house at the edge of town. Eerily, Frank thought to himself, the place where Gerard had allegedly seen a looming figure watching him from the Woods just before he disappeared.

The house itself wasn’t all that scary. It used to be popular with the town’s college students as a party spot, but once the police began catching on and unceremoniously drove everyone away, it had been left alone for the most part. People still liked to come sometimes, just because the area was undoubtedly serene and the Woods that the house overlooked were as beautiful as they were foreboding.

Frank was sure that all the old graffiti he and his friends spray-painted on the rotting walls during high school was still there. Their burnt-out cigarette stubs probably still littered the ground, and maybe, if he tried hard enough, he could remember the exact corner where he’d kissed that one cool girl from his class (it had been painfully awkward) on a stupid dare from Ray Toro himself. In other words, the place held quite a bit of sentimental value to him.

It was strange that he was here on actual adult business now. He felt very official, armed with a backpack full of gear, a total of three half-stale granola bars, and, of course, his friends.

Ray and Jamia were there, as they always were during unnecessarily risky expeditions, but this time Frank had also invited Lindsey to come along. He felt like they could use the backup just in case anything happened to go wrong, and her clairvoyance would be extremely valuable in this kind of situation. Not to mention, after Frank had introduced her to the rest of the group about a week ago, she had quickly become a natural addition. So, of course, they appreciated her company regardless.

The four of them had gathered in front of the old house, saged themselves as an extra precaution, and double-checked to make sure they had everything they needed. Just a few minutes later, they began their trek into the woods. It was late in the afternoon and the sun was painting the dying leaves of autumn a shimmery gold, making it hard to believe that any creature so dangerous could live in a place so beautiful. Frank was still skeptical that they would actually run into any trouble, but he kept an eye out anyway.

“So, we’re just…looking for anything out of the ordinary?” Jamia asked as they stepped into the forest, past the tree line, already making a bit of a racket as foliage and debris crunched under their feet.

“Pretty much,” Frank said. “This is kind of a last resort. We don’t even know if the kid actually went missing here or not.”

He saw Lindsey give him a knowing look out of the corner of his eye. She was the only other person in their group who knew about Frank’s connection to Gerard, and that they’d actually made contact multiple times. Frank was reluctant to tell Ray and Jamia about it for fear that they’d take it the wrong way and assume Gerard was trying to cause trouble. And sure, maybe Frank had decided to trust him rather quickly, but something told him the ghost didn’t mean any harm. He was just…well, Frank wished he could get him to open up and explain some more about what was going on because then they probably wouldn’t even need to be here.

“Hey, it’s not _that _hopeless,” Ray said. “We have Lindsey now.”

Lindsey smiled shyly and shrugged her shoulders. “I can’t promise you I’ll be able to find anything, but I’ll try my best.”

Frank knew the chances of finding something, if there was anything to find at all, were actually pretty high. Lindsey had explained she could use his connection to Gerard to find places he’d visited in the past, where he’d left behind residual energy that could still be lingering in the air. And now, as she subtly made her way to the front of the group to take the lead, Frank wondered hopefully if she’d picked up on something.

They walked about half a mile into the woods in relative silence, all focused on their respective jobs. Ray had an EMF detector in one hand and a notepad in the other, ready to take note of any major fluctuations, and Jamia had brought along enchanted parchment. In the corner, she’d drawn a map of the woods that would track their location as they walked, but the blank space could be used to communicate with ghosts. If anything spiritual touched it, the area of contact would flood with ink.

Frank had seen her use it before, and it was easily one of the most unnerving ways to communicate with spirits. He wasn’t usually one to nope the fuck out, but during one investigation when thousands of tiny handprints had appeared on a sheet of parchment at once, he had really wanted to. It had turned out to be a poltergeist, of course.

Frank had a compass and a heat detector, but he was a lot more focused on staying as open as possible, allowing himself to exude energy so that Lindsey would have a better chance of leading them in the right direction.

About half a mile into the forest, Lindsey stopped in her tracks. She was a good way in front of the rest of the group now. The others paused behind her and everything went silent save for the wind blowing through the trees.

She looked over her shoulder and pointed to the right. “This way,” she said, and made a sharp turn before walking at a quick pace in the direction she’d indicated.

Frank heard Ray make a surprised hum and turned to see what had happened. It turned out the EMF detector had, in fact, picked up on something. It wasn’t very strong, but it was definitely there, and it continued to grow more intense as they walked. He scribbled down the readings and began plugging them into a few fancy equations that Frank knew how to use, but really preferred not to bother with if he didn’t have to. In simple terms, they were supposed to measure the relativity between the physical and the spiritual world. EMF readings were needed in order to use them properly, and it was all very, very confusing without a lot of practice.

They walked a little while longer. Lindsey would stop every once in a while like she was trying to concentrate on reading whatever energy trail she had picked up on, but other than that, she marched confidently forward like she knew exactly where they were going.

Jamia, who was walking between Ray and Frank, ushered for them to come closer after a long period of silence.

“Guys, what exactly is it that she’s following?” she asked in a low voice. Obviously neither of them was able to answer that question, so they both just glanced over at her quizzically, waiting for her to elaborate. “I mean, I’m no clairvoyant, but when you start practicing magic you do become a lot more sensitive. And whatever it is just feels…really dark.”

Frank looked ahead at Lindsey, recalling how she’d said Gerard’s aura felt dark because he was afraid. “Dark in what way?” he asked.

“I don’t know that much,” Jamia answered, “but I think we should be careful. It’s not that I don’t trust her, it’s just-”

“Here!” Lindsey exclaimed, coming to a sudden stop and gesturing to the small clearing in front of her.

Frank jogged to catch up, standing next to her and observing the space in front of him. It didn’t look very out of the ordinary; it was just a small area, maybe a few yards in diameter, where the trees and plants had decided not to grow.

“Lindsey, are you sure this is safe?” Jamia asked as she came to a stop, surveying the clearing with suspicion. “What have you been reading this whole time?”

Lindsey hesitated before answering. “Just a trail of energy. It feels as though it could be similar to Gerard’s.”

Jamia knit her brow. “How can you know that? I mean, you’ve never met him.” She paused when Lindsey turned to give her an unreadable look. “I trust you, but I don’t understand how you can be so sure.”

“I know it feels dark,” Lindsey said, quickly catching on to why Jamia was uneasy, “but it’s not evil. I wouldn’t have followed it if it was.”

“Guys?”

Everyone turned to look at Ray, who had taken a few steps into the clearing and was now staring at the detector in his hand with wide eyes.

“This is…these readings are fucking crazy,” he said. “Only _in_ the clearing, though, I think. They were pretty normal just a few feet away.”

“That’s weird,” Frank mumbled, surveying the area for any physical object that could be causing the disturbance. “Fluctuations that extreme shouldn’t happen so abruptly.”

“I know.” Ray began scribbling furiously, and Jamia stepped into the clearing next.

“Shit!” she gasped, immediately backing away into the trees, but Frank couldn’t tell what had startled her. She narrowed her eyes at the parchment in her hands before taking a tentative step forward, back into the clearing, and then turning the parchment around so Lindsey and Frank could see. The entire surface, including the map in the corner, was blacked out.

“What the hell?” Frank breathed, reaching up to rub away the goosebumps forming on his arms. He decided that the thousands of tiny handprints had actually been a little less creepy than whatever the solid black was.

Lindsey stepped forward next. She didn’t react like the others had, instead just looking around curiously, but Frank guessed she was probably listening for something.

Jamia looked up from her parchment and stared at Frank expectantly, and he was suddenly incredibly nervous to step forward. It was the same kind of nervousness he'd had when he’d used the candle to talk with Gerard that one night. It felt oddly personal, and he didn’t like it one bit.

But he took a deep breath and let his feet carry him forward, until finally he stepped over some sort of invisible line, and then everything changed.

His chest constricted, filled with a sudden pain that felt like it shot straight through his heart. He gasped and clutched at his chest before another wave of it hit him so hard he fell to his knees, and suddenly his ears were ringing and his head was spinning and nothing made any sense.

Someone shouted and rushed over to him, and he felt a firm hand land on his back, but he couldn’t decipher what was going on other than that. All he could do was press his hands over his heart and try to focus on breathing through the white-hot pain.

Frank heard Ray gasp, vaguely saw him pick up the heat detector and compass he’d dropped and tried to listen through the ringing in his ears as he frantically explained the readings he was getting, but his brain refused to process any of it.

“Get him out,” he heard someone order, an unidentifiable voice cutting through the fog, and a pair of arms were hauling him up, moving him away from the clearing.

“It’s everywhere.” It was Ray’s voice, echoey and far away. The words bounced around inside Frank’s skull before he was out of the clearing and suddenly able to breathe again, but still extremely dazed.

It was Lindsey who had dragged him away. She was sitting beside him now, breathing heavily with an expression of pure horror on her face.

“He said he’s angry,” she whispered, and that was the last thing Frank heard before he passed out.

It was blank for a few seconds as if it was just a normal bodily reaction to the pain he’d just endured, but then he felt like he was being hurled through space impossibly fast, so fast that he could see the walls of reality breaking down all around him. It was like an inter-dimensional lava flow, timelines and universes and planes of existence crumbling under the heat of destruction, withering and melting with a loud sound like an infinitely large wave crashing down onto the shore.

And then all of the motion stopped at once, and Frank was in a place he thought he recognized at first. It looked like the dark void he’d spoken to Gerard in, except he quickly realized with a sinking feeling in his gut that it wasn’t. This was a different place. It _felt _like a different place.

He walked through the void, coaxed by an invisible force. There was no light, no sound. There was absolutely nothing. It was how many people described Purgatory, except this couldn’t be that place. There was no way to get there unless you were dead.

And then, across the ocean of darkness, Frank saw a pinprick in the distance. Or at least, it started as a pinprick, but it was rapidly approaching him, bringing a sense of dread the nearer it came. He was just barely able to make it out once it got close enough – it was a tall figure, silhouette shrouded by a cloak, with skin as pale as the surface of the moon, but then-

Frank gasped and sat upright. He was back in the Woods, fully awake. But when he looked around, his friends were nowhere to be seen, nor was the clearing. None of his surroundings looked familiar, actually, and to make matters worse, the sun had set. If it weren’t for the moon shining brightly through the trees, it would have been pitch black. And if it was nighttime now, then how many _hours_ had he been out?

The next thing Frank noticed was that his two wounds, the ones in his arm and his hip that had begun to heal so quickly he’d nearly forgotten about them, were throbbing and bleeding through his clothes.

He winced and pushed himself to his feet, head pounding and swimming as he stood up. He tried to get his bearings, figure out where he was, but he just couldn’t. Panic began to stir in his chest as he turned in slow circles, realizing with a sinking feeling that he was completely lost, and he had absolutely no memory of getting here. Not to mention his backpack was missing, which meant his phone and all other means of finding his way to the edge of the Woods were gone.

Then he heard something move through the foliage several feet away and he froze. In his mind he tried to rationalize it, telling himself it was probably just an animal or a stray gust of wind, but a few seconds later, as the rustling sounds became louder and louder, he realized he was terribly wrong. His heart sank and terror washed over his entire body as a tall, dark silhouette emerged from behind a tree, far too large and towering to be a normal human being.

“_Shit_,” Frank whispered, frozen in place. When the figure began moving toward him, he finally seemed to come to his senses, and he turned on his heel and sprinted in the opposite direction.

It was difficult to maneuver through the swarm of trees and vegetation, especially when his body hurt so badly, and he didn’t dare look back to see if the creature was gaining on him. All of the warnings he’d ever heard about this place conveniently flooded his mind and his heart pounded a little harder. He had no idea where he was…for all he knew, he could’ve walked right into a vampire just now, and he’d been taught all his life not to provoke them.

Suddenly, with a resounding crack like a burst of electricity, Frank slammed against some sort of invisible barrier. He saw what looked like a small explosion of light and his head was suddenly filled with a splitting pain. He winced, not understanding what he was seeing or how it was even possible, but one thing was certain as he stumbled around and continued to bump into the barrier over and over again – he was trapped.

He spun around, watching as a single line of yellow light flew in a circle around him, the only visible indication that he was caught inside a newly formed cage. He was dizzy, disoriented, as if his brain was being invaded and taken over. The edges of his vision began to go black and he tasted something cold and stinging in his throat, similar to the feeling he got just before being sick. This sensation, however, seemed to rise up his esophagus as if it were something actually physical. He gasped and brought a hand up to his throat, clutching and attempting to swallow down the almost painful burn.

He slouched, close to falling over, unable to take the swimming in his head any longer. He began coughing and his heart pounded when he tasted blood, sharp and undeniable against his tongue. He was totally clueless as to what was happening to his body or what was causing it, and he was far too out of it to try and escape. Then, when the dark figure from before came into his line of vision, Frank’s terror increased tenfold, as did his violent coughing, and blood poured from his mouth and spattered the ground beneath him.

He looked up with squinting eyes, trying to see the figure’s face, but it was shrouded by a thick hood that concealed it in shadow. Now Frank could hardly breathe, couldn’t rip his gaze away from the intimidating figure or force himself to think as blood continued to rise up his throat. He could feel something dripping from his nose now, and he assumed it was blood as well judging by its pungent metallic scent. He really began to panic, screaming at himself to escape, when his vision went spotty and his knees began to give out, and he felt like he was about to die.

But then, suddenly, he was being knocked off his feet by an unseen force, landing hard on his side with nothing to break his fall. He gasped, stunned and winded, eyes tightly shut as he braced for something else to happen. But it never did.

Frank slowly opened his eyes, expecting to still be trapped inside the circle of light, but he found he was free of his prison. The blood and the excruciating pain were all gone, and the dark figure was nowhere in sight. However, he quickly noticed that someone else was.

Lying on the ground not a foot away from him, gasping as if he’d just run a million miles, and fully fucking physical, was Gerard.

“What-” Frank began, but he cut himself off when Gerard winced and pushed himself up onto his elbows. He was visibly shaking, sweat rolling across his skin, and he somehow looked so human, far more human than he ever had before.

He stared at Frank with glassy eyes and shook his head. “I told you, you idiot,” he panted, voice cracking but filled with obvious relief.

Frank’s jaw fell open, but he didn’t have any words to say. How the hell was he…? He was _physical_, how was that possible? Not to mention, he’d just saved Frank from whatever had been chasing him.

“_God_.” Gerard pushed himself into a sitting position and reached up to remove the leaves that had ended up tangled in his hair. “Maybe one day you’ll finally listen to me.”

Then Frank realized in an overwhelming rush that Gerard had been _right_. He’d tried to warn him to stay away from the Woods, and Frank had just completely ignored it. He’d even gotten angry over it. But then…Gerard had rescued him anyway.

“Did you just save my life?” Frank breathed, staring wide-eyed as Gerard wrinkled his nose and tried to brush away clumps of dirt from his leather jacket. It was a little comical after he’d just performed a heroic act, and- what the fuck, he was _physical_.

“Yes, I did,” he said shakily. “You’re welcome.”

Frank sputtered. “I, uh- thank you. Thank you so much.”

Gerard looked up at Frank with an unreadable expression on his face. He appeared to be on the verge of tears, and Frank wanted to comfort him or thank him over and over again, but all he could think to ask was how the hell he was here with a real body.

“How are you…?” Frank began.

“It’s a lot, and I don’t have time to talk. Neither do you,” Gerard said firmly. “You and your friends need to get out of here as soon as you can. I distracted him for now, but he’ll be back.”

Frank shuddered and nodded, vaguely understanding.

Gerard sighed and hauled himself to his feet, holding his hand out to help Frank up as well. Frank took it without hesitation, shocked by the unnatural cold of Gerard’s skin, and when he pulled himself up they stood close enough to one another that he could feel it coming off of him just like body heat would have.

Frank stared into Gerard’s teary eyes, trying to decipher the hidden turmoil going on behind them, but he simply couldn’t. However, now that some of the initial shock had worn off, he realized being here, in such close proximity with Gerard, had made him aware yet again of that empty piece inside of him. Except now he felt as complete as he ever had, and it was so much more than just that, but there were really no other words to describe it.

“Thank you,” Frank said again.

Gerard nodded. “You may be a stubborn ass, but I wasn’t about to let you die.”

The corners of Frank’s mouth quirked up a bit. Without really thinking about it much at all, he found himself wrapping his arms around Gerard’s waist and resting his head against his shoulder. Gerard stiffened for a moment, but a few seconds later he relaxed into the hug like he hadn’t felt one in years. His arms wound hesitantly around Frank, and before long, it all felt so natural. Their souls, split and tangled together, sang in harmonious completion.

The feeling of touching him, _actually _touching him in real life, was the most incredible thing Frank had ever experienced. It was like being high on pure contentment, like he’d been lost and had finally found his way back home. And he supposed, in a way, he had. Even if he didn’t really know Gerard at all, they shared pieces of one another that finally had the chance to properly bond now that they were in the same plane of existence, embracing just because Frank had felt compelled to do so.

Frank didn’t know any feeling like this could exist before now. But almost as soon as it had begun, it was over, and Gerard was awkwardly pulling away and fumbling with the hem of his shirt.

“Please get out of here,” he said. “Go to the edge of the Woods. Your friends will find you.”

Frank gazed at him. The sudden lack of completion was almost painful, and he wondered if Gerard could feel it too. But Frank nodded swiftly, knowing he really did need to leave, and gave Gerard a smile in farewell before he turned and began to run.

He ran for miles, until his legs ached and threatened to give out, and he began to realize just how deep into the Woods he had been. But finally, just when he was beginning to think he would never reach the end, he saw the edge of the trees in the distance, and, to his relief, four familiar silhouettes waiting there for him. He could hear them calling out for him.

As soon as he was a few feet away from the Woods, he collapsed on the ground at their feet, breathing raggedly, sides aching, and the gashes in his skin still bleeding heavily. He was sure the sight of him was terrifying to everyone else.

“Oh my god, Frank!” Ray knelt down beside him and placed a hand on his shoulder. “What the hell happened to you?”

The three of them began bombarding him with questions at the same time, but Frank was far too exhausted to answer. He sat there, hunched over, before he shook his head and gestured for them to back away a bit.

“I…I don’t know,” he breathed.

“I was fucking worried about you. I didn’t know if I would ever see you again,” Jamia said. Her voice sounded raw like she had been crying. “I think you and Lindsey have some serious explaining to do.”

Frank glanced up at her, feeling extremely guilty that it had to come to this before he actually came clean. “It’s not Lindsey,” he said. “I’m the one who chose to keep it a secret.”

Before Jamia could say anything else, Ray spoke up. “You know what? Let’s get out of here first,” he said. “I don’t want to be anywhere near this place.”

“We can go back to my house,” Frank said. “As long as one of you can give me a ride, ‘cause I definitely can’t drive right now.”

“Yeah, I’ve got it,” Ray said, grabbing Frank’s arm and helping him to his feet. “Let’s go.”

* * *

When Frank unlocked the door to his house and stepped inside, the first thing he noticed was that Gerard wasn’t there. He wasn’t normally able to tell whether the ghost was present or not, which was unnerving in and of itself, but now there was a very tangible lack of something that was normally there. After what had happened in the Woods, that worried him a bit.

Frank went to the bathroom to wash the blood off his face, and then joined the other three at the kitchen table where they sat in silence for a while. He wasn’t sure what his friends had experienced but judging by the paleness of their skin and their stoic facial expressions, he guessed it hadn’t been very pleasant.

“So…” Ray said, breaking the silence. “Frank, you wanna tell us what’s been going on?”

Frank sighed, suddenly feeling like he was on trial or something as all of them, even Lindsey, stared at him expectantly. “Basically,” he began, “it has to do with Gerard. I…know more about him than I’ve been letting on.”

Ray nodded, prompting him to continue.

“This is going to sound crazy,” Frank said, “but his soul is somehow attached to mine. It has been since he disappeared. And he’s been trying to contact me since we took his brother’s case, because…well, he says if we keep investigating, it’ll put all of us in danger, especially Mikey. He tried to get me not to take you all to the Woods, so clearly he knows what he’s talking about.”

“Wait, attached?” Ray asked.

Frank shook his head. “I don’t really know how it all works, but I guess it’s like if you took both of our souls, split them in half, and then put two different halves together. Something like that. He says he can’t move on to the afterlife unless I go with him, so it's pretty serious.”

“_He’s _the one who told you all this? You _talked_ to him? Alone?” Ray asked, clearly shocked, as the realization finally hit him. And yes, in hindsight, contacting the spirit world alone had been extremely risky, but it had turned out alright in the end. Sort of.

“Hold on,” Jamia interjected. “Is this the same person you told me you saw in the pictures? And in your house that one night?”

Ray turned to look at her. “What? When did that happen?”

“Oh, yeah,” Frank sighed. “That night I had to stay at your place was because I saw him in my room. Right before that I’d seen a picture of him at Mikey’s house. And…well, I’ve told you about everything that went on around the time my parents died. He was the kid in the polaroid we found in their room. So, you know, it freaked me out. I still don’t know what it all means.”

“Why didn’t you tell me?” Ray asked in a quiet voice, and Frank honestly couldn’t tell whether he was hurt or not.

“I’m really, really sorry,” Frank said. “I don’t know why I kept it a secret. I guess I wasn’t sure how to talk about it, but I should have tried.”

“How do you know he’s not just trying to hurt us?” Jamia asked.

Frank looked to Lindsey for help, not really sure how to go about making a good case.

Lindsey smiled warmly back at him before she began to explain. “One of the reasons Frank knows his soul is bound to Gerard’s at all is because I gave him a reading. I was able to see both of them very clearly. Gerard doesn’t appear to have any malicious intent, he’s just very afraid. I’m not sure where he’s trapped or why, but after today, I’m beginning to think it has something to do with the vampires.”

“Okay, hold on,” Ray said, pressing his fingers against his temples. “Sorry, it’s just a lot to take in.”

“It’s okay,” Frank said. And after a pause, “I really am sorry I didn’t tell you. We probably could’ve avoided everything that happened in the Woods if I had.”

“I don’t know,” Ray said, shaking his head. “I don’t think there was any way we could have predicted that. That wasn’t like anything I’ve ever seen before.”

“What happened to you guys, anyway?” Frank asked. “Did you see that thing wearing the cloak?”

“Yeah,” Ray said. “Jamia was with me. I don’t know where you or Lindsey went.”

“I…well, I saw Gerard,” Lindsey explained. “I don’t know how, but…I moved Frank out of the clearing, and right after he passed out, I blinked, and I was in a completely different part of the Woods. Gerard was there, and he told me to get everyone out.”

“So you moved to a different place too,” Frank said. He turned to Ray and Jamia. “Did you guys?”

“No, we stayed in the clearing,” Ray answered. “We had to run away from that _thing_, whatever it was, but we were able to get out of the Woods pretty fast. When we didn’t see you we just thought you ran away too, but you were gone for hours.”

Frank was even more baffled now than he had been before. “And then…what did you say you heard, Lindsey? Right before I blacked out, I remember you saying something that sounded important.”

“Oh,” she said, looking up at the ceiling as she recalled it. “Gerard told me ‘he’ was angry, but…I don’t think he meant himself. I think he meant whatever it was that chased us.”

A chill ran down Frank’s spine, and suddenly he remembered something Gerard had said to him in a conversation that had taken place so long ago. He’d mentioned a nameless “he,” told Frank to be quiet in case he heard them or something. He thought about all of Gerard’s vague references to a looming danger, his unwillingness to talk as if someone was always watching. Suddenly he felt terrified all over again.

“Do you think it was a vampire?” Jamia asked.

Everyone fell silent and considered it for a moment. The notion contradicted much of what they’d been taught about the nature of the mysterious creatures, but there was no definitive proof against it.

“Maybe,” Lindsey murmured.

It was a lot to process, and Frank couldn’t really make sense of most of it. They sat quietly, thinking, before Ray spoke up.

“Oh, by the way,” he leaned down to pull something from his backpack and produced a plastic bag with something inside of it. “We found this near the clearing.”

Frank leaned forward to examine the item. It appeared to be an old shred of a flannel shirt, covered in grime and nearly torn to pieces. He furrowed his brow as he looked at it, coming to the realization that, in context, it was odd that it would be in the middle of the Woods whenever no one really went there.

“I think you and I should keep a hold of it,” Ray said, looking at Frank. “It might come in handy.”

“I agree,” Frank mumbled, staring at the fabric and hoping it could actually prove to be useful evidence somehow. He made a mental note to run some tests on it later.

“What happened to you, Frank?” Jamia asked after a bit of silence. “You never told us.”

“Oh, yeah.” Frank glanced down at the table as he tried to recall the fuzzy chain of events. “Well, I passed out, and I was like, flying through space and time or some shit. Like I was going through dimensions. And then, when I stopped, I saw that figure from the Woods coming towards me. When I woke up, it was actually there. In real life.” He took a shaky breath. “So, I ran, but it was like there were these walls of electricity around me, and I felt like I was dying, like it was killing me, and then…this is gonna sound crazy,” he laughed, “but Gerard showed up out of nowhere and saved me. Like, _physically _pushed me out of the way and saved my life.”

Everyone stared in disbelief, and Frank couldn’t exactly blame them.

“He was _there_?” Lindsey asked.

“Yeah,” Frank breathed. “He said he didn’t have time to explain, but I mean. I fucking _touched _him. A ghost.” He paused as he remembered how indescribable it had felt. “I wasn’t really sure about the whole tied souls thing at first, but then when I touched him it was like I was whole for the first time in my life. I know that sounds cheesy as fuck, but…”

Lindsey’s eyes widened. “No, that’s actually incredible.”

“Some people say if a ghost can summon enough energy, they can manifest as a physical being,” Ray muttered. “If your souls really are bound, maybe that’s how he was able to do it.”

Frank felt just an echo of that indescribable completeness again as he remembered. “It was just…I’ve never felt like I was _supposed _to be near a person until then.”

“Well, there you go,” Jamia said. “Soulmates do exist. Just, you know, not under the ideal circumstances that people like to imagine. I wonder how you both wound up this way in the first place.”

Frank shrugged. He had an inkling that it hadn’t been for good reasons, and he assumed if Gerard had known they were connected in the first place, he was the only one who would be able to tell Frank why.

“Maybe you should try to talk to him again,” Lindsey suggested, on the same train of thought as Frank. “He could probably tell you what happened better than any one of us could.”

“I agree,” Jamia said hesitantly. “But if you do, please be careful. Like, _extremely _careful.”

Frank turned to look at Ray, and he simply shrugged and nodded his head.

“Well,” he said, “if he put himself in danger to save your life, then I think he’s a lot safer than most of the ghosts we talk to. And if you're connected to him, you should be able to reach out without disturbing anything else. Theoretically.”

“I think you’re all right,” Frank said. “I just want to know what’s going on.”

Jamia chuckled to herself. “I guess the saging didn’t work because he’s connected to you. Probably irritated the hell out of him, though.”

“To be fair, he’s fucking scary when he wants to be,” Frank said. “Maybe it was a little well-deserved.”

Ray scoffed. “He’s a ghost, not your roommate. He was probably just trying to get you to listen to him. Wouldn’t be the first time someone’s had to scare some sense into you.”

Jamia laughed and nodded in agreement, and Frank threw his hands up.

“Okay, _mom_,” he scoffed with a smile on his face. “You guys are the fucking worst.”

Jamia grinned. “Damn right we are.”

They talked for a while longer, about the Woods and the case and then eventually about anything _but _those two things. The experience had been exhausting and terrifying and Frank knew that they were all very rattled, even if they were trying their best not to show it. The four of them dealt with the paranormal all the time, but that… That had truly been something entirely above and beyond.

Everyone exchanged hugs before they parted ways a while later, because nearly dying together had indeed been a bonding experience to top all other bonding experiences.

And just a few minutes later, they were gone, and Frank was left all alone once again.

He sighed and turned to face the living room, listening for any indication that Gerard was present, but there was nothing to be found. He decided was going to try to talk to him tonight. He _had _to.

“Okay,” Frank whispered aloud, just in case Gerard could hear somehow. “Please give me some answers this time.”

He walked to his bedroom, brainstorming ways in which he could go about contacting the ghost without knowing where he was. Eventually, he decided going to sleep while very intentionally thinking about reaching out to Gerard, and hoping that he would answer in a dream, would be the best method. Besides, Frank was exhausted, and all he really wanted to do was rest.

He got ready for bed quickly and laid down, too tired to bother with being nervous, and was consumed by sleep as soon as his eyes fell shut.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> {MCR - Our Lady of Sorrows}
> 
> Wow, an early update! I'll try to put something else out this week too, fingers crossed. It might be another chapter of this story or it might be the first part of something new I'm working on.
> 
> As always, thanks for reading!


	11. End of Life

_“Time heals nothing, it just buries the wound.”_

* * *

** _10.14.2003_ **

Frank drifted through dreams of running through an endless wasteland, pursued by looming darkness that grew ever closer. Even while asleep he could feel the burning in his muscles, the way his body screamed for remorse. But stopping or slowing down would mean a fate worse than death, so he would gladly run until his heart gave out.

He phased between the nightmare and a strange half-awake state, where he was aware of what was going on around him but unable to move or open his eyes. Though he was exhausted, he was restless, unable to fully surrender to unconsciousness after the terror he’d experienced. His heart pounded and his stomach fell endlessly through the floor as anxiety strengthened its hold around him. It wasn’t like sleep had ever been much of an escape for him anyway, considering the problems he’d had with insomnia and nightmares all his life, but he wanted to drift away from reality now more than ever. He wanted to wake up the next day feeling rested and a little less afraid.

Sometime in the middle of the night, when Frank felt a hand on his shoulder shaking him awake, he thought it was another dream. He groaned and tried to squirm away, only to realize that it wasn’t just in his head. The touch remained on his skin, startlingly cold and vivid.

Frank froze, more than half-expecting it to be the hooded figure from the Woods. His eyes remained tightly shut and he knew the moment he opened them he’d be face to face with whatever was trying to wake him up. He wasn’t ready for that, and in his groggy delirium, he thought it just wasn’t fair that he’d almost died in a really weird, out of the ordinary way, running for his life from something supernatural, but now that he was _actually _going to die, it was just going to be in his house. In his sleep, pretty much. Totally fucking mundane. And no one was going to save him this time.

But then a soft, familiar voice came out of the darkness.

“Frank?” it gently called. “Hey, c’mon. Wake up.”

Frank slowly opened his eyes. He wasn’t awake enough to register what was happening yet, but some unconscious part of his brain had made him sick to his stomach with fear. As the fog over his vision cleared, he could see the light through his window casting a glow onto the person in front of him. It highlighted sharp features and pale skin that became increasingly familiar as the seconds went by, and Frank came to the slow realization that he was not at all in danger. He thought, with an internal sigh of relief, that Gerard must have wanted to talk after all.

“Why are you still here?” was the first thing Frank asked. It was beginning to dawn on him that he was only awake because Gerard had shaken him, which meant he’d actually touched him, which was still totally fucking weird. It was impossible to know where exactly ghosts resided when they weren’t corporeal, but surely it wasn’t in the same plane of existence as the physical world. In other words, Gerard was out of place and that worried Frank for reasons he wasn’t awake enough to piece together.

“I can’t go back yet,” Gerard said simply, offering no explanation beyond that. His word choices were always so unsettlingly vague.

“That’s…not good.” Frank, hardly awake, wasn’t sure what else to say. He began to sit up to clear away some of his grogginess, pushing back his blankets and slinging his legs over the side of his bed, but once he was fully upright his head began to spin terribly. He felt achy just like he had the morning that this had all started, when he’d woken up with the gash in his hip and sworn he was getting sick. There was probably something significant about that, but he didn’t have the energy to try and figure it out.

“Careful,” Gerard said. His voice suddenly sounded far away. “Your body just went through hell. You’re gonna have to take it easy for a while.”

“Does that mean I can’t even get out of bed?” Frank asked. His eyes were shut again as he waited for the world to stop spinning, but unfortunately, the world refused.

“I don’t know. Maybe.”

Frank sighed as things began to properly set in. Just a few hours ago, he’d nearly died. The thing that had tried to kill him was out there somewhere. Gerard was still physically present. None of it made sense and it was all spiraling in a direction that Frank really didn’t like. It was safe to say he felt more out of control now than he ever had in his life. And now his chest was beginning to constrict, slowly but steadily, as the gravity of the situation pressed down on him more and more.

“You’re bleeding,” Gerard mumbled a moment later. Frank could feel the cold coming off of his body as he took a step closer. “Shit… I’ll be back.”

The cold and the sound of footsteps faded away, but the feeling of Gerard’s presence remained. Frank was too caught up in his own panic to wonder where he’d gone for very long. He couldn’t take a full breath of air into his lungs, body throbbing with stress and dull, aching pain that was all-consuming.

A few hours ago, surrounded by his friends, the whole situation hadn’t felt quite so daunting. Frank wondered if the initial shock had instilled a false sense of calm in everyone as a defense mechanism, but now that he was alone, reality was throwing its punches. It really only made sense he was reacting this way; what had happened would traumatize any normal person, and the whole situation was clearly far from over.

Frank felt himself falling as his anxiety took him over, but he wasn’t sure in which direction. All he knew was he no longer had enough control over his body to continue sitting up. He wasn’t sure whether he was having a panic attack or if he was just really, really sick…or both.

There was a moment where everything went dark. Then, the next thing he knew, he was lying on the floor. Flat on his back, with his insides on fire and even more pain pulsing through his bones. He distinctly remembered _not _being on the floor and _not _feeling like he had the most terrible fever known the man the last he checked, but he wasn’t about to question it. Next, he noticed his arm was now resting in someone’s lap, and once he weakly opened his eyes, he was able to see Gerard sitting beside him, diligently wrapping the cut on his upper arm in bandages.

“You passed out for a minute,” Gerard said without looking up from his work. His voice was shaky, and Frank could feel his hands trembling as he wound the gauze tightly. “I didn’t think I would be strong enough to lift you back up, I’m sorry.”

“That’s okay,” Frank murmured. He brought his opposite hand up to his forehead and found his skin was startlingly hot to the touch. “Why is this just happening now?”

“I don’t know,” Gerard sighed. “I’m not sure what exactly he did to you. Maybe now that your adrenaline’s worn off, you just…”

“Should I go to the hospital?” Frank wondered, talking more to himself than to Gerard, but the latter immediately objected.

“That’s not a good idea,” he said. “The more people who know about this, the more danger we’re in.”

“Because of that thing in the Woods?”

Gerard paused for a moment before he answered. “Yeah. Something like that.”

Frank decided it’d probably be a good idea to actually trust Gerard this time, even if part of him really wanted to go see a doctor. He didn’t think he was on death’s door or anything, but it was scary feeling so sick when he’d been fine just a few hours ago. The potential danger sounded much scarier, though, and as he nodded his head in understanding, the small motion alone made him wince as his head ached.

Once they fell back into silence, Frank’s mind began to race again. It was odd, to say the least, being taken care of by the same person who had caused him so much unease before. Frank couldn’t complain, but he knew there must be something he was missing. Gerard’s disposition had changed quite a bit since the first time they’d talked. But of course, he was experiencing a side to everything going on that Frank never could.

“I’m sorry,” Frank murmured. He hadn’t fully meant to say it out loud, but he was glad he did anyway.

“Why?” Gerard asked as he tied off the bandage.

“For not believing you.”

“Oh.” Gerard shrugged his shoulders, turning around so he could fumble in the dark for something. “Well, I hope you trust me now, at least.”

Frank nodded. He was surprised by the genuine concern in Gerard’s voice as opposed to simple irritation. “I do.”

There was the sound of dripping water, but Frank couldn’t tell what exactly Gerard was doing. “Can I lift up your shirt? I need to clean the one on your hip.”

Frank immediately knew Gerard was referencing his wound, which he could feel leaking fresh blood through his clothes. He nodded and struggled not to recoil when he felt the icy cold of Gerard’s hands brushing his skin. “They’re from my nightmares,” he mumbled.

“I know.” Gerard carefully dabbed at the wound with a cloth. It was saturated with a solution that was pleasantly warm but stung the torn flesh as it disinfected it. “They’re mine, actually. They just showed up on your body.”

Frank knit his brow in confusion. “What do you mean?”

“Well, having your soul tied to someone else’s has lots of weird side effects,” Gerard said. “Like, when you’re with me in a dream, anything that happens to my body will also happen to yours. But I don’t have a body, so it only shows up on you.”

“Wait a minute,” Frank said, remembering the conversation he had with Ray the morning after the cut appeared on his arm. “My friend told me about something like that. Like, my consciousness can connect to yours when I’m asleep, and then everything sort of bleeds over.”

“Exactly,” Gerard said. “I’m sure you already know you can use magic to talk to people in their dreams, except we don’t need magic.” He shrugged. “I’m still trying to figure it all out. Sharing souls doesn’t happen naturally, obviously. Nobody really knows how it works.”

“So where did these come from?” Frank asked, tilting his head toward his bandaged arm.

“The one on your arm came from our dear friend you encountered in the Woods,” Gerard said. “He almost caught me that one night I went to talk to you. He was pissed off ‘cause he wasn’t able to find me, so…”

“So he hurt you?”

“Yeah.” Gerard traded the old, bloodstained cloth for a new one and began cleaning again. “This one’s a little harder to explain, though. It’s from the night I saved Mikey.”

Frank fell silent, trying to make sense of what Gerard had just said. What did he mean ‘saved Mikey’? And if that had happened _that_ night, then…

“Before you ask,” Gerard said as if he could read Frank’s mind, “yes, the case you’re working on has everything to do with all of this.”

“Can you tell me what happened?” Frank asked. He knew Gerard had said before that he couldn’t, but maybe things were different now.

Gerard nodded, leaving Frank pleasantly surprised that he was actually willing and able to talk about it. “Yeah, I can tell you the gist of it. The thing is, Mikey’s been at risk for years and I’ve always done my best to keep him safe. I know that if I step too far out of line he’s worse than dead, but that night it was out of my control. Some crazy vampire tried to kill him, so I stopped it.”

Frank raised his eyebrows. “You blew it up?”

“It was the only way I knew how to kill it,” Gerard explained. “It lunged at me before I built up enough energy to blow it up, though, so I guess somehow that showed up on you.”

“So, my consciousness went to you in my sleep or something?”

“I guess it’s possible,” Gerard said with a shrug. “I don’t know all the rules to this or anything, but maybe it’s because I was upset. You were more drawn to me or something.”

“That’s so weird,” Frank breathed. He began to wonder how many strange things he’d experienced actually had something to do with Gerard. He wouldn’t be surprised if that was the reason, somehow, for his seemingly incurable insomnia.

“Well, anyway, there you go. Case fuckin’ closed. Except, you know, you really shouldn’t tell anyone else about it.” Gerard looked at Frank pointedly. “There’s a good chance something else could go after Mikey, or you, or one of your friends, and I wouldn’t be able to stop it then.”

“I won’t say anything,” Frank promised. “The thing is, I know this is all really dangerous, but I don’t understand _why_.” He knew he was pushing his luck, but he was still very much in the dark about what was going on.

“I can explain a little bit,” Gerard offered. “Just what I know.”

Frank was surprised again by that. He wondered what had changed so that Gerard was able to talk about what was going on now. “I mean, yeah? That’d be great.”

Gerard nodded as he set aside the cloth and began carefully covering Frank’s wound with fresh gauze, grabbing an adhesive patch afterward to hold it in place. “Do you want anything for your pain first? Do you wanna try to get back in bed, maybe? I could probably lift you up if you helped me out a little bit… Or I could get you some water?”

Frank blinked as Gerard bombarded him with questions. He found it kind of endearing. “Um, if you could just help me get off the floor, that’d be awesome.”

“Yeah, okay.” Gerard got to his feet and reached out his hands to pull Frank up. He grabbed the other’s forearms securely and slowly helped him stand, steadying him with his hands on his shoulders to make sure he wouldn’t fall.

Frank definitely felt lightheaded, but it wasn’t anything he couldn’t handle. The pain from earlier hadn’t dissipated much but it was becoming a bit more tolerable as time went on, and with Gerard’s help, he managed to climb into bed and sit back against his headboard without too much of a struggle. Gerard insisted on getting him water and pain medication and Frank decided not to protest. Plus, once Gerard was back and he a bit of water in his system, he actually felt a bit better.

Now that Frank was settled in and properly taken care of, Gerard sat cross-legged in front of him, prepared to tell his story. Frank was undeniably a little nervous, unsure of what to expect, but he was definitely ready to have an idea of what was going on.

“Should I just start at the beginning?” Gerard asked.

“Sure. Wherever you think you need to,” Frank answered.

“Okay.” Gerard took a deep breath. “I guess let’s start with the night I disappeared.”

Frank nodded and waited expectantly.

“I don’t actually remember much of it,” Gerard began. “I was in my bedroom, and then the next thing I knew I was tied up and blindfolded someplace. Now I know I was in the Woods. I was kidnapped.”

“By vampires?” Frank asked hesitantly. Before his own experience in the Woods, that question would’ve sounded ludicrous to him. Now he knew better.

“Yes,” Gerard said. “Not rogues like the one who tried to kill Mikey. The ones who took me are all working together, but I’ll get to that in a minute. Anyway…they kidnapped me and, y’know, killed me. But first, they did this ritual to separate my soul from my body, and then they sent it to another dimension.”

Frank’s eyes widened and he watched discomfort flit across Gerard’s face as he recalled the memory. “That sounds terrible,” he whispered.

“It was,” Gerard said. “I felt like I was falling for hours, and then it all stopped, and then I met _him_.”

“Him? You mean…?”

“Yep. The same ‘him’ you met.” Gerard sighed and stared down at his hands. They trembled ever so slightly in his lap. “His name is Thaddaeus. He has a bunch of other vampires as his followers, but they do a really good job of staying hidden from all of you. He’s the reason all this shit is happening in the first place.”

Frank shuddered. He suddenly felt like everything he ever thought he knew about Malimore had been a lie. In reality, every inhabitant was in constant danger. “So, he took your soul? And tied it to mine?”

“Mhm.”

“But why?” Frank asked.

“I have no idea,” Gerard said. “I’ve tried to get him to tell me, but obviously he won’t.”

“And what does Mikey have to do with all of this?”

Gerard heaved a sigh. “It’s a leverage thing. That’s a story of its own, really. Lately, I’ve come to the conclusion that he just wants to control me as much as he can, so he does that by threatening to kill the one person I have left.”

Things began to fall together inside Frank’s mind. During their last real conversation, Gerard had mentioned Frank being “responsible” for his parents’ death. He felt it could be insensitive to ask, but he went for it as gently as he could. “If you don’t mind me asking…were your parents a part of that too?”

Gerard looked up at Frank, making uncertain eye contact. “Um, kind of. I didn’t…uh, I didn’t really know my parents were going to die.”

“You don’t have to talk about it if you don’t want to,” Frank said softly.

Gerard studied him a moment, eyes flitting across his face as he thought over what to say next. “Part of it has to do with you. I think you have the right to know, it’s just that it might upset you.”

Frank automatically didn’t like the sound of that. He had no idea what to expect, but he couldn’t go without answers whenever he had no idea if he would ever be able to get them again. “I want to know what happened. That’s what’s important to me.”

Gerard looked uncertain. “Even if it hurts you?”

Frank nodded. “I’ll be okay, I promise.”

“Well…alright.” Gerard shuffled around uncomfortably, reluctant to make eye contact with Frank now. “Um, so. Thaddaeus is a sick fucking bastard if you hadn’t already figured that out. He’s a sadist if I’ve ever met one. I don’t know why, he just…pain gets him off. Especially mine, I think.”

Frank’s heart sank. He felt even more terrible for Gerard after hearing that. He couldn’t imagine the kind of torment he must have been through.

“A little while after he took me he made this proposition, and it was fucking awful,” Gerard continued. “He, uh, he offered to let me kill _your_ parents. I think he was trying to desensitize me to his fucked up bullshit or something, I don’t really know.”

Frank’s breath caught in his throat. Obviously his parents _were _actually dead. So if Gerard hadn’t killed them, did that mean Thaddaeus had?

“I told him to fuck off.” Gerard laughed bitterly. “He said there had to be a price for denying him. You can guess what it was.”

Frank could hear Gerard’s voice growing heavy with pain. He felt like his heart was crumbling to pieces inside the confines of his chest, but he could do nothing except sit and listen as Gerard described the horrific sequence of events. He had a sinking feeling that the story was only going to get worse.

“So I lost them.” Gerard’s gaze was far off, foggy like oceans of tears. “He didn’t give me any time to grieve. He threatened Mikey’s life right after he told me what he’d done. He asked me if I was willing to do anything to keep him safe, and of course I said yes. He said my agreement was like a contract, and…well, he’s definitely taken advantage of it. I’ve had to watch him hurt a lot of people, including me. I’ve sacrificed all the dignity I ever thought I had and then some. But I offered him anything, so that’s what he gets.”

Frank wasn’t normally one to cry, but listening to Gerard give just the barest description of what he’d been through was enough to make his eyes sting with tears. He didn’t bother trying to blink them away.

“Anyway.” Gerard sniffed and wiped at his own eyes. “I didn’t know it at the time. I didn’t know it was going to happen until I was literally watching him do it.” He glanced up at Frank in a way that was almost fearful, like he was unsure of how he was going to react. “He wanted your parents dead really bad for some reason, so…that was the first sacrifice.”

Frank’s heart had already fallen much earlier in their conversation, but now it seemed to vanish completely from his body. It stopped its beating and dissipated into thin air, leaving him breathless with an aching pain in his chest, and he didn’t realize his tears had fallen past his eyelids until he felt them creeping down his cheeks.

“H-he killed them?” Frank whispered.

Gerard’s head was bent. He refused to look up and meet the other’s eyes. “I’m so sorry.”

Frank’s mouth hung open in disbelief. The new knowledge was as heavy as the weight of the entire world, but suddenly everything made so much more sense. The signs of a haunting beforehand, the bizarre autopsy results, the state of the crime scene…

And now, alongside the trauma it had caused him as such a young child, and the anguish of old wounds being cracked open for the first time in years, was a brand new murderous rage blossoming in the hollow space Frank’s heart had left behind. Yes, his parents’ death had _looked _like a murder, albeit a supernatural one, but that had never been confirmed. Frank had never _really_ had anyone to be angry at. Now, all of that had changed.

“I’m sorry,” Gerard whispered into the silence again. He sounded like he felt so _guilty_, and Frank was overcome with the realization that he must blame himself for so much of this when in reality he wasn’t really responsible for any of it.

“Gerard, listen to me. This is not your fault,” Frank said through clenched teeth. “It’s _his_.”

Gerard didn’t say anything else, just scraped his fingernails over the palms of his hands and stared off into space. As Frank watched him, another memory emerged to the forefront of his mind.

“The phone call…” he whispered. “You called me, didn’t you? I remember my aunt and my cousin were staying with us for Christmas and one of them ended up finding their bodies. There was a commotion and it woke me up, and when they left me alone in the living room someone called our house phone. I answered it and…it was _you_. And you apologized to me.”

Gerard nodded. “I had to. I didn’t know he was going to kill them, I-”

“I believe you,” Frank insisted. “You don’t have to feel guilty. You’re just as much of a victim as they were.”

Gerard looked up at Frank in shock. “You mean that?”

“Yes. I’m not angry at you,” Frank tried to assure Gerard. “I’m angry at him.”

Frank couldn’t tell what exactly Gerard was thinking, but he seemed kind of relieved. “I-I think he left that picture of me behind so you _would_ be mad at me. Or afraid of me. Something like that. I don’t really know why he wants to keep us separated, but he does.”

“Maybe because he knew if you ever had the chance to tell me all this, we’d _both _want to fucking gut him,” Frank grumbled.

Gerard just shrugged. He looked so small now, with his shoulders hunched and his head down. “You know, he tried to brainwash me into hating you, and it almost worked for a little while. It was easier to go along with it and believe you were somehow responsible for everything I went through. But then he started giving me more freedom, and I was able to visit Malimore every now and then. No one could see me, but I could just watch, and you learn a lot about people from watching what they do when no one else is around. So seeing you throw yourself into your work just because you care so much about other people is what snapped me out of believing all the lies he told me.” Gerard’s face softened and he almost smiled himself. “Did everything that happened make you want to do what you do?”

“Yeah,” Frank said quietly, automatically feeling undeserving of Gerard’s admiration. “I mean, the paranormal has always really fascinated me, but for the most part, I just want to give people a sense of clarity. I never got to have that. I was really lost for a really long time because of it.”

Gerard finally looked up at Frank again. “Can I ask something kind of personal?”

“Yeah, sure.”

“Why did you move back into this house?”

Frank considered his answer for a little while. It was certainly something he’d thought about before, but now he wasn’t really sure how to articulate it. “Part of it was just because it was being given to me. I wasn’t gonna have the money to move out of my grandparents’ place for a while if I didn’t come here, and I was _really _ready to be on my own. But maybe it was also…kind of the same reason, I think, your brother has kept your old house all these years. It’s like, yeah, terrible shit happened here, but it’s also one of the only things keeping me connected to what life was like before.”

Gerard nodded and smiled sadly. “That makes sense.”

Frank sighed. “But sometimes I just…really don’t want to think about it anymore.”

“I get it,” Gerard said, and Frank knew he really did.

Their words ran short, and Frank surveyed Gerard’s sad, exhausted expression with a pang in his chest. He just wanted to make things as okay as they could be in that moment, just like he always did. He didn’t care how impossible it seemed. “Do you want a hug?”

Gerard looked up at him questioningly.

“I mean, I understand if you don’t like them. You can say no if you-”

“I think I’ll let you be my exception. We already share souls, can’t get much closer than that.” And then Gerard opened his arms.

Frank found himself smiling a bit despite the pain in his chest, moving forward to wrap his arms around Gerard. The frigid cold was less startling now than it had been before, and it was easy to forget about anyway once that familiar feeling of completion flooded Frank’s very soul. He relaxed against Gerard, glad he was able to let himself sink into the contentedness while they were both away from danger. He started to notice that the longer he stayed there, wrapped in the ghost’s embrace, the less apparent the cold rolling off of him became. Frank wondered if he was transferring his body heat somehow, warming Gerard’s physical form.

“Why were you able to tell me all that?” Frank asked a little while later. “You couldn’t before, right?” It had occurred to him again that some circumstance must have changed, and he was curious as to what it was.

“He’s distracted,” Gerard said. “He trusts me a _lot _more than he used to; he doesn’t watch me all the time anymore. And he thinks I hurt you in the Woods, only kept you alive so I could stay with him.” He shuddered in disgust. “Also, since you saged the hell out of this house, it kind of hides my aura when I’m corporeal.”

“How _are _you corporeal, anyway?” Frank asked.

“Because you’re allowing me to be.”

“Oh. Cool. I didn’t know I was allowing you.”

Gerard chuckled at that and let his head fall against Frank’s shoulder. “Well, being physical when you don’t have a body is technically impossible. I’m not sure how it works. All I know is some part of you needs me here, whether you realize it or not, and because our bond is so strong, it creates enough energy. So here I am.”

“It’s really that powerful?” Frank breathed. “We can fucking defy the laws of physics?”

“Yeah. And I’m sure there’s a lot more we can do that we just don’t know about yet.”

“Why are we like this?” Frank wondered, even though he knew Gerard didn’t have the answer to that question. “What’s the point?”

“I know as much as you do.”

Frank sighed and closed his eyes, in awe all over again of how incredible it was to be close with someone else on such a personal level. So close, in fact, that their bond stood in the way of death itself and kept Gerard caught between worlds, stuck in limbo until Frank could accompany him to the fabled afterlife dimension. It was as fascinating as it was tragic.

“Can you feel it too?” Frank asked. He felt a little sheepish about asking so many questions, but he was too curious to hold himself back from this one. “When we’re together, especially when you’re here like this, it’s like…”

“Like everything’s right with the world or something cheesy like that,” Gerard finished.

“Yeah,” Frank said. “Does it make you feel any better?”

“It does.”

Frank smiled. He was actually quite happy to hear that, seeing as he didn’t want Gerard to feel so upset or guilty. That was impossible in the long run, but maybe, just for now, things could be a little bit better. “You can stay however long you need to, you know. I don’t mind.”

“Well, I don’t want to bother you,” Gerard said. Frank wondered how soon he had planned on leaving.

“You’re not bothering me. You’re fine.” Frank rubbed Gerard’s back reassuringly. “It makes me feel better too, you know.”

Gerard was still unconvinced. “I promise I can go anytime you want.”

“Hey. Listen.” Frank was starting to realize he actually didn’t want Gerard to go just yet. Having him there felt safe and comfortable and there was no point in making him go back to a place filled with pain and danger. “I don’t _want _you to leave, okay? As long as it makes you feel better, I want you to stay here.”

Gerard huffed. “You’re being too damn nice to me.”

“Bullshit,” Frank said. “You _deserve _for someone to be nice to you.”

“Well…okay.” Gerard seemed to realize there was no point in arguing. He paused for a moment. “Can you just…promise me something real quick while I’m thinking about it?”

“What is it?”

“Can you please help me keep Mikey safe? That vampire tried to attack him on its own the other night, not because anyone told it to, but I still don’t know why. I’m worried he could be in more danger than I realize.”

Frank nodded. “Of course. I can even go check on him tomorrow if you want.”

Frank felt Gerard immediately relax upon hearing that, melting against his body like it was a literal weight off his shoulders. “Thank you,” he sighed. “That means a lot to me.”

“It’s no problem,” Frank said. “I’m gonna try to figure all of this out. I want to fix it.”

Gerard didn’t say anything to that, just made a small noise of acknowledgment. Frank knew he probably didn’t think it was possible to make a change, and he couldn’t exactly blame him, but he was determined to find a way nonetheless. He’d always managed in the past.

“It’s gonna be okay,” Frank said in a quiet voice, partly to Gerard and partly just to reassure himself. “We’re gonna keep each other safe. All of us. Everything’s going to be fine.”

Gerard nodded, but otherwise, he was totally still. It was like now that Frank understood how important it was that they kept Mikey safe, he was finally able to relax and let his mind be at ease for a little while. Frank didn’t know how long that would actually last, but he was glad he’d managed to bring Gerard some peace for now.

And a few minutes later, after a period of silence had elapsed, Frank noticed Gerard’s breathing had grown much deeper. He was slumped against the other’s shoulder, tension absent from his body, clearly fast asleep and free from the confines of reality. Frank certainly didn’t have the heart to pull Gerard from his unconscious state. In the wake of everything, proper rest in a safe place was the very least he deserved.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> {Death Spells - end of life}
> 
> I made it through final exams! I finally have time to Do Things again!!
> 
> Well, this chapter and the last chapter were both pretty pivotal, but the next chapter is even MORE pivotal. Almost as pivotal as the MCR show that's just, you know, casually happening in three days?? So that's cool.
> 
> Thanks for reading!


	12. In the Air Tonight

_“Can you feel it coming in the air tonight?”_

* * *

** _10.14.2003_ **

I didn’t realize how exhausted I was, or maybe it’s just that I’m finally able to let myself go without worrying about how vulnerable I am. But as soon as I fall asleep I know it because my mind wanders from the body it’s now mysteriously tied to and travels back to where it came from. It’s so bizarre being here, lost in the emptiness that’s become my prison, but not _really _being here.

It’s dark as usual, but now it’s not so cold. It almost feels like being a living person again, separated from the bitter cold of dreams, blissfully unaware of where they come from and what they really mean. Tethered to a body, there’s a layer of safety when it comes to the free movement of the unconscious mind as it travels worlds away, carried by sleep. It’s impossible to entirely drift when, somehow, I’m kept on earth by a form of magic I don’t understand, one that can twist the laws of science.

The terrifying and awe-inspiring part of it all is that this magic is powerful beyond my comprehension. It’s not like it was born from natural causes; rather, it was _intentional_. I know there must be some sort of grand scheme behind all of this, because as clear as it is that Thaddaeus lives to cause as much pain as He can, His secrecy makes me suspicious.

But maybe I’m just desperate to find a reason. Nothing will ever justify what He’s done but an explanation would be nice. I’m only human, after all; I want it all to make sense.

At least things are a bit better now. Well…is better really the right word? Maybe “different” would be more appropriate. I’m just glad I’m not caught up in my own misplaced anger anymore, miserable under the plague of hatred. Even though the circumstances have been less than ideal so far, something about being around Frank makes me feel like, if I let myself, I could forget any of this was happening at all. It makes sense whenever I really think about it because of course being near him alleviates the hollow feeling of constantly being incomplete. It kind of worries me though. I’m afraid if I get too comfortable and let my guard down, something will happen.

That’s why I’m desperately trying to wake myself up now. No matter how hard I try I just can’t. I don’t know how to get back to my body. So instead I walk through the darkness, and as time goes on, I begin to hear low voices through the silence.

It immediately catches my attention and I stiffen with fear. What if someone finds out where I am? That would be…god, that would be so much worse than terrible. But I continue to walk, since staying where I am would probably increase my chances of being found. Maybe if I keep moving I’ll be able to wake up…

I start to see light in the distance. It’s a dim, cold blue, the coldest color I’ve ever seen. I notice the surface beneath my feet grows steadily more electric the further I go. Not hot or cold, but like it’s charged with energy that travels up my legs in tiny threads of lightning, and the air becomes thick with dancing electricity. It doesn’t hurt, but it’s uncomfortable. It sort of feels like every single one of my limbs has fallen asleep, even though I know they haven’t.

The voices become louder and more distinct the closer I get. I can hear them talking frantically over one another, a steady crescendo and decrescendo, but the words are still muddled together. The light grows brighter, the air becomes harder to breathe, and my legs ache the further I walk. But then, after a span of time, I cross an unseen line. Just as if I walked through a doorway into a different dimension, everything changes.

The light is now blinding and frigidly cold. I can _hear _the electricity swirling around me, feel it running across my skin. I squint and shield my eyes and listen as I realize I can pick out some of what the voices are saying now.

Only small snippets are intelligible since they’re talking in such hushed tones, but I pick out quite a few mentions of souls and…a fault? I don’t know what any of it means.

I look around in order to get my bearings. I don’t feel safe at all when I’m blinded and unaware of my surroundings. When I glance down at the ground, I notice I’m standing on a clear surface that ripples and shimmers underneath my feet, and once I focus on peering through it, I can see a small square table with four figures positioned around it. My breath catches when I realize one of those figures is Thaddaeus, sitting right below me and seemingly unaware of my presence. The rest of them I’ve seen before, but I don’t remember their names.

One of them, wearing a dark green cloak, gestures wildly to the light, appearing angry. “Why can’t we just do it now?” I hear him say.

“We don’t have enough of them yet,” Thaddaeus hisses. “If this goes wrong, it could put every single one of us in jeopardy.”

“Yes, but so will being caught!”

A disagreement breaks out amongst them and it’s impossible to tell what they’re saying anymore as their voices overlap.

“The Fault will split when it’s ready,” another vampire, dressed in purple, interjects. “There’s no need to force it. That’s an unnecessary risk.”

“So is waiting, dammit!” retorts the one in green. “Don’t any of you understand my reasoning here? You overestimate the control we actually have over the captives.”

“It’s not an overestimation in the slightest,” Thaddaeus says. “Do you not trust me?”

“That’s not what I’m-”

He’s drowned out again by the voices of the other three. The longer I watch them, the more anxiety builds to line my stomach. The Fault will split? Captives? What the fuck does any of that _mean_?

Then I hear my name in the cacophony, and I start paying attention again.

“Just because you’re, I don’t know, _in love _with him or something doesn’t mean-”

Thaddaeus laughs humorlessly. “What gives you any reason to believe I care about him at all?”

The vampire in green scoffs. “Are you joking? You’re far too kind to him. You spend half your time doing who knows what with him and the other half letting him do whatever the hell he wants.”

I cringe. Even without the mention of my name, it’s obvious they’re talking about me. It’s even more obvious that their idea of “kindness” is fucked up beyond redemption.

“He’s mine. He’s under my control. Even if he _wanted _to go against my will, he knows exactly what will happen the moment he does.”

I’ve done a good job at pleasing Him enough to gain His trust, at least, but my heart falls as I’m reminded of the leverage He has against me. All the more reason to wake up and get the hell back to where I came from.

“I’m just saying we should take some extra precautions. If not just with Gerard, then with _all _of the captives.”

_All_ of them? Am I not the only one?

“Even if one of them did step out of line,” another vampire says, “what the worst that’s going to happen? Realistically, they don’t have enough power to do very much damage.”

“_They _don’t, but their bonds to the other souls do.”

“Collectively,” Thaddaeus interjects. “Just one bond isn’t enough to have any kind of influence on the Fault.”

“Really, Val, listen to yourself,” the vampire in purple sighs. “This is the largest fracture in spacetime in recorded history, and it’s almost entirely under our control. You really think one captive could stop it?”

Val, the one in green, thinks about it before deciding on his answer. “Possibly.”

“If you’re so concerned, then maybe we can come to a compromise,” Thaddaeus says. “However, I’m not sending out vast numbers of vampires to do an unnecessary job.”

Val says something else I can’t quite make out, but it sounds vaguely like a nasty insult. Then they all descend into another disagreement.

I look into the blue light and think over everything I just heard. Small rips in spacetime are normal, but…why would they need one like what they’re describing? And what does that have anything to do with me? And if it were to completely split, surely that would cause mass destruction, which obviously wouldn’t be good.

My mind begins to spin just before a sharp hiss, a loud signal to be quiet, pulls me out of it.

“Someone else is here,” Thaddaeus says in a low voice, and my body goes completely still.

“Who?” the one in purple asks.

“I don’t know,” Thaddaeus replies. “But I’ll get rid of them. Seems I’ll need to have another stern discussion with everyone about _coming here unannounced_.”

So He thinks I’m just a nosy one of His followers, thank goodness, but I really need to get out of here now. Before I can panic trying to find a way, though, I hear a snapping noise before the dream abruptly ends. I guess He did the work for me and shut me out somehow, so that’s a massive fucking crisis averted.

But then there’s the problem of whatever the hell He’s planning.

I open my eyes and find I’m laying at the foot of Frank’s bed, covered up by a quilt. He’s turned on a lamp and he’s sitting more or less in the same position he was before, reading a book and unaware that I’m awake. I still can’t wrap my head around why he’s being so nice as to let me stay in his home. I don’t think I deserve it.

“Frank,” I mumble. I have to tell him about what I just heard. Maybe he can help me figure out what it means.

He looks over at me and the corner of his mouth turns up in a small smile. “Hi.”

God, this is weird. He’s just…looking at me like I’m a normal person. That never happens anymore.

“I had this dream just now…” I whisper.

Frank sets his book aside and sits up a little straighter. “What was it about?”

“Well…it was kind of scary,” I say. “I mean, because it was real. Whatever I saw is actually happening.”

Frank knits his brow and I wonder if he understands what I mean. Maybe, after all of his experiences with nightmares and sleeplessness, he’s at least partly aware of the true gravity that dreams hold. They’re always real to some extent, in a variety of ways.

“I think, maybe…” I continue, “I’m starting to understand why they tied me to you.”

Frank raises an eyebrow. “What did you see?”

I pull the quilt tighter around me as the memory of the dream makes me shudder. It was so ominous. I haven’t been afraid like that in a long time, actually.

I quickly recap the series of events, from walking through the darkness to listening in on the four vampires. Frank looks more and more concerned with the more that I tell him. Not that I blame him, I mean…what if we’re all about to fucking die or something?

“Gerard, if so many souls are trapped, then what if the bonds are creating the rip?” he asks once I recount the whole story. “Think about it. If it’s powerful enough for you to be here even though you don’t have a real body, imagine the tension that all of them must be putting on the spacetime continuum at once.”

I hadn’t thought of it that way. Back when I was in school, all that science-y stuff didn’t interest me nearly as much as art and not paying attention in class. But it’s pretty clear that Frank is smart as hell, even if he’d never admit it, and he knows what he’s talking about. So, he’s probably right. But in this case, that only makes matters worse.

“What are they trying to destroy, though? What part of the universe are they ripping?” Frank continues, gesturing wildly as he thinks it through aloud. “Shit, what if that’s the whole goddamned reason the Forest of Souls is haunted in the first place?”

“What do you mean?” I ask.

“No one really knows _why _it’s haunted, right?” Frank says.

“Uh.” I shrug my shoulders. “I don’t…I don’t know.”

“Okay, well, nobody knows why. You probably learned about it when you were really young,” Frank says, waving a hand to signal he’s moving along. I swear I can see his brain working behind his eyes or something. “What if it’s only haunted because it’s full of souls like you?”

Now I understand what he’s getting at. “So then it would all be the vampires’ fault.”

“Exactly! But that would probably mean the Fault you mentioned is somewhere close, which is obviously not good. Like, we could be in deep shit. But if it’s so big then we would be able to see it, right? I mean, if it was close enough, there’s no way we wouldn’t have noticed that by now.”

I just watch as he continues to talk it out, sifting through hypothesis after hypothesis like he’s looking through a filing cabinet full of them. There’s a reason he’s so good at his job, I suppose.

“Wait!” He stops and looks me dead in the eye, his face several shades paler than it was just a minute ago. “Wait, wait, wait. Hold the fuck on. Holy _shit_.”

“What?” I ask, my heart beginning to pound.

“Gerard, seriously, holy shit.” He presses his fingers to his temples and stares at me like he’s seen a ghost. No pun intended. “Okay, okay, I could be wrong. I really hope I’m wrong.”

“Jesus, what is it?” I sit up and wait expectantly, about to pass the fuck out from anxiety alone if he doesn’t tell me what he’s thinking sometime soon.

“What if we’ve been seeing it all along?” he breathes. “‘Cause, you know, we live just a little ways away from the San Andreas fault, and…”

“Holy shit,” I whisper. That _would_ make sense. A lot of sense. Thaddaeus would absolutely be smart enough to hide his plan in plain sight. “I mean…what if you’re right? What if that’s it?”

“Then we have to stop it,” Frank says. “If it’s right there then it’s gonna swallow the whole fucking planet when it splits.”

“What happens then?” I ask.

“Then we all die,” Frank murmurs. “And they would have free access to all of our souls because a spacetime disturbance creates something similar to Purgatory, and that means we’d all have trouble getting to the afterlife, so they could just have a fucking field day.”

“It all makes so much sense,” I breathe. “They’d never have to worry about starving again.”

Frank doesn’t say anything else. He just looks up at me with wide eyes full of unmistakable fear.

“What do we do?” I ask.

He shakes his head. “God, I don’t know.”

I look down at my hands. They’re trembling uncontrollably. “There has to be something.”

“Me and Ray could try and figure it out,” Frank says. “I mean, we don’t really know if I’m right yet, anyway. It would just make a lot of sense.”

I let out a sigh. Of course, talking about it like this, and especially bringing other people into it, is a major risk, but part of me feels like it’s worth it this time. “You really think you could come up with a plan if you had help?”

“Yes,” Frank answers, nodding adamantly.

“Well…just be careful, I guess,” I say. “Try not to draw too much attention to yourself. Keep it as secret as you can.”

“I will. I have a way better idea of how dangerous this is now,” Frank says.

“When you became a paranormal investigator, did you ever think you’d end up having to save the whole world?” I ask, doing my best to make some light of the situation, mostly because thinking about it is making my chest hurt more and more by the second.

Frank chuckles. “Well, no. But let’s hope saving the whole world won’t actually be necessary.”

“Yeah, that’d be pretty nice,” I sigh. I think of how upset Thaddaeus had been in the dream, and I realize he’ll probably want to see me at some point. I need to get back or the situation will become a lot worse than it already is. “Well, I should probably go. You know, so they don’t find out I’m here…”

I see a bit of disappointment cross Frank’s face and I realize I’m actually kind of sad to leave as well. Not only is being away from the vampires a relief, but being with Frank makes me feel so much more at ease. Not to mention he’s nice to me and treats me like an actual person, and that’s something I’ll never get from Thaddaeus or any of his followers. I would stay here forever if I could…

“Take care of yourself, okay?” Franks says, and I can’t help but smile at that.

“You too. Give yourself some time to recover,” I say. “Do you need anything before I go?”

He smiles. “Nah, I’m fine. But thanks for taking care of me. You really didn’t have to.”

Well, I sure felt like I did. Some part of me feels a strong need to make sure he’s okay. I couldn’t leave him alone and hurting, especially when I was still able to be physically present. “No need to thank me. It’s no problem at all.”

He shrugs one shoulder and pushes himself closer to me, and I don’t realize what he’s doing until he pulls me into yet another embrace. “Please just be safe, okay?”

I’ll never get over the fact that he hugs me without hurting me. And he’s warm, and I can actually feel it and absorb it and feel like I’m alive again. And then, of course, there’s the feeling of finally belonging somewhere along with it. After being lost and alone for years, he’s like hope itself as a human being. Being near him has always felt like that, like I could finally be okay again, but now I’m letting myself acknowledge it, vastly removed from the forced anger I used to harbor against him.

“Okay,” I whisper in response to his request. “I’ll, uh, I’ll see you later?”

He nods and pulls back a bit so I can see his smile, arms still wound around my waist. “Yeah, see you later.”

And now it’s time for me to go, as much as I really don’t want to. I take one last look at him and the light in his eyes, something I lost long ago but admire in others, before I focus all of my energy on leaving the physical world behind and going back to my lonely prison cell.

The room around me melts away to nothingness. I already miss him. As always, I care too damn much for my own good.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> {Phil Collins - In the Air Tonight}
> 
> I first got the idea for this story when we learned about tectonic plates and faults in the geology class I took last year. I'm 100% not kidding. Also, if you guys wanna see the map I drew of Malimore a little while ago, let me know and I'll add it before the next chapter.
> 
> Thanks for reading and happy holidays!


	13. Night Time, My Time

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The map is below! I may be a *bit* of a nerd when it comes to worldbuilding because it's honestly really fun!
> 
> This chapter is shorter than the rest. The main characters don't appear very much, but I promise it's important + a transition into some serious plot movement. Enjoy!

_“I wouldn’t feel anything / When we burst into dust forever.”_

* * *

**_02.11.1984_ **

The boy’s first question, after listening to the entire proposition, was exactly what Thaddaeus had expected it to be.

“What’s in it for me?”

Truth be told, that was the kind of response he was looking for. If he had learned anything throughout the span of his long life, it was that people worked harder, faster, better, when they were doing it for personal gain. Or at least, when they’d been made to believe they were doing it for personal gain.

“Many things,” Thaddaeus said, holding the boy’s challenging stare with ease. “First and foremost, you’re guaranteed to live in bliss with the rest of us once the plan has come to its completion. Until then, you’ll be treated with utmost respect. It’s a privilege that I’ve even called you here at all.”

The boy nodded as he considered it, meanwhile gazing off at the incredible view all around him.

The two of them sat at an onyx table in a small pocket between five intersecting dimensions, the place where Thaddaeus held covert meetings with his most trusted vampires. The areas of contact between the separate worlds gleamed with planes of iridescent light that stretched out across the black expanse of space, the nebulous cosmos contained within each dimension glimmering and warping around one another. To the boy’s right, however, was a brilliant crack of blue light. It was a fracture in the fabric of the universe stretching across a distance incomprehensible to the human mind. From where the two of them sat, the boy could hear it crackling and emitting a low, rumbling wail like the song of a siren luring everything that was, and everything that ever would be, to its permanent demise.

Thaddaeus spoke again. “You must also consider that anyone who has ever wronged you will rightfully suffer once we’re finished.”

The boy turned back to him, eyes sweeping over his face. Thaddaeus knew he had him then because he had spoken the truth. And not only the truth, but the boy’s greatest desire.

Thaddaeus had been pleased with himself when he’d turned the boy for that very reason. After what he’d been put through at the hands of those who were supposed to keep him safe, he knew he would be a devout follower. After all, the death of a soul often meant the death of empathy, the amplification of anger born of trauma and fractured trust. So Thaddaeus had consumed the boy’s soul from his body himself, had watched him lose his own humanity. And after several months of living amongst the other vampires, Thaddaeus felt he was ready to be inducted into one of his innermost circles, to move up the natural hierarchy under which their society operated. It was a privilege only granted to a select few.

“Once the Fault splits they’ll all just…be at our mercy?” the boy asked.

“Precisely,” Thaddaeus answered. “We’ll craft a new universe all on our own. No one will stand in our way; humanity will no longer taint the world we walk. Their happiness will no longer cause you pain.”

“And all I have to do is organize this mission?” the boy asked.

“That is your first task, yes. Think of it as your chance to prove yourself to me.” Thaddaeus leaned forward, cold fingertips tracing the runes carved into the surface of the table. “You don’t even have to get your hands dirty, really. You’re welcome to recruit others to finish things up for you if you feel so inclined.”

The boy nodded slowly. “You’re saying I don’t actually have to kill him?”

“No, you don’t. I understand that might be something you wish to avoid for a number of reasons. You do still live in Malimore, after all. It’d be such a shame if someone were to trace the murder back to you.”

“You’re right. I’d need to be careful,” the boy said. “I’d take my time with it.”

Thaddaeus’s mouth curved into a twisted smile as he listened.

“What’s his name again? Could I already know him?” he asked.

“Possibly,” Thaddaeus said. “Would that change things?”

The boy shook his head. At this point, he would even kill his old best friend if it meant he would be able to get his revenge on his family.

Thaddaeus’s eyes shone with wicked glee. “Gerard Way,” he said. “He’s a high school senior. His family has lived in the Forest of Souls for generations.”

The boy hummed. He’d heard the name before, but he couldn’t say he’d ever met the guy. “And who am I, uh…supposed to bond him to?”

Thaddaeus narrowed his eyes. “Accept the mission, and I’ll tell you everything you need to know to complete it.”

The boy sighed. “I just…I still don’t really understand it all. The Fault, I mean. And why killing this person is so important. And-”

“Understand that knowledge of this magnitude must be earned,” Thaddaeus interjected. “The more you accomplish, the more you’ll earn my trust, and the more you’ll know.”

“Oh,” the boy said.

“I realize you want to know everything now. That’s perfectly natural.” Thaddaeus leaned forward and looked him in the eye. “But accepting this mission is the first step towards complete understanding.”

The boy thought it over. He knew this task was very important, even if he didn’t fully understand why. He knew fucking it up could be disastrous. But at this point, he didn’t have very much to lose. Rather, he had the whole world to gain. The universe would rest in the palm of his hands if he simply said yes.

“I’ll do it.”

Thaddaeus grinned. “I’m thrilled to hear it,” he said. It was exactly what he had expected, but it brought him no less joy than it would have otherwise. “The next step, then, is to choose a new name.”

The boy looked at him questioningly.

“Progressing within our society is no minor ordeal,” Thaddaeus explained. “It’s an entire reinvention of what you were before. Given that you follow our laws as you’re supposed to, who you become is entirely up to you.”

The boy’s eyes glinted with a new wonder that lacked childish innocence and instead boasted malice. The prospect of becoming someone new was obviously exciting to him. He was ready to rise above his past, his childhood, and wreak his own specially crafted havoc.

“That being said,” Thaddaeus continued, “choosing a new name is the first step. So, what would you like to be called?”

The boy looked up at him with one eyebrow arched. The question was simple, but he was fully aware of the weight behind it. His new name would be his first real departure from the life he lived before. He could finally let go of the brokenness and the bullshit and the memories of wounds littering his body, mind, and soul. He could become exactly who he wanted to be.

A few seconds later he grinned to himself, dark excitement overflowing, before he gave his answer.

**_02.11.2000_ ** ** **

Fifteen years after the completion of the mission and Gerard’s arrival in the vampires’ dimension, Thaddaeus had grown rather fond of him.

He had collected many souls over time. He checked on all of them routinely out of necessity, but there were many whose names and identities had long slipped his mind. Most of the captives were either driven insane or severely subdued by the conditioning they endured, and those were most often the forgettable ones. There was no longer a challenge. They submitted without question, which was obviously the goal, but then they were no fun to play with. Thaddaeus often just let them run off and desperately haunt their loved ones because there was no use in wasting energy keeping them trapped in their prison cells. They were all far too traumatized to hatch a plan to really cause trouble, anyway.

Gerard, however, was one of the few interesting exceptions. For some reason, it seemed the highly emotional captives were the most resilient, and Thaddaeus had learned he could use that resilience to mold them without breaking them entirely. He’d watched Gerard grow into a creature of anger as the pressure of keeping his previous life intact wore down on him. The loneliness of being ripped from the progression of time, of being frozen in place, of no longer aging, had done a number on his empathy. Thaddaeus was proud.

He decided to visit Gerard today. His free time was very limited, but he often spent it with his friends or his favored captives. He’d overcome his fear of being alone with his mind unoccupied long ago, but he still preferred to be in the company of others if he could help it.

Over time, he’d allowed Gerard more and more access to explore the dimension they inhabited. Many humans would refer to it as “the spirit realm,” even though it was really just a small part of the layers upon layers of dimensions the spiritual world was composed of. It existed just to the side of physical reality, meaning ghosts could walk the earth without needing to be there in full.

Gerard hadn’t been back home yet. Thaddaeus hadn’t shown him how to get there. But the captive soul did enjoy sitting above the solar system and observing it as if through a pane of glass, watching the planets orbit in silence. Today Thaddaeus found him staring at it with glazed-over eyes. He wondered if Gerard allowed himself to miss home, or if he forced all his feelings back down his throat because it was safer that way.

Thaddaeus sat down beside Gerard and found himself staring as well, but he felt nothing. He’d long killed off all of the emotions that the sight of the earth and the life spread across its surface evoked.

“Would you like to go back someday?” Thaddaeus asked.

Gerard sighed and shrugged his shoulders. “I guess so.” He glanced over at Thaddaeus nervously. “Is that what I’m supposed to say?”

“You can say anything you like.”

Gerard was quiet. He moved closer to Thaddaeus, close enough that their shoulders brushed together. He wasn’t a very tactile person, but sometimes Thaddaeus felt he used physical closeness as a sort of request for a truce. On some subconscious level, he was still afraid of being hurt. Exactly as he was supposed to be.

“I can show you how to get there,” Thaddaeus said.

Gerard perked up a bit at that. “Really?”

“Yes, dear.” He pulled Gerard’s smaller figure against his side. He wasn’t rigid like he used to be, but he was alert. Today he was more relaxed than normal like he needed the extra comfort. “No one will be able to see you, but you can still go if you’d like.”

“You mean…like a ghost?” Gerard asked.

“You could say so.”

“Could I see Mikey again?”

“If you wanted to,” Thaddaeus answered. “He’s much older now. I don’t think he lives in Malimore anymore.”

“Oh.” Gerard sounded very sad then. Thaddaeus could think of a time when the world moving on without him made him feel sad, too. “Well, where is he now?”

“I’m not sure. I suppose you’ll have to find him.” Thaddaeus was telling the truth. He hadn’t bothered to keep a close eye on Mikey because Gerard had become incredibly obedient. The chances of their agreement being broken were slim, so it would only be a waste of time. “But there are other things you could do as well.”

“Like what? Scare the shit out of people?”

Thaddaeus laughed. “Well, yes. I think you’d find it rather entertaining. If there’s anyone you’d really like to get back at…”

Of course, he was insinuating that Gerard should reinforce his distaste for Frank by haunting him. It was what he encouraged all of his stronger captives to do. He was fully aware that the bond between two souls could inspire unconditional love, but, under the right circumstances, it could swing in the opposite direction. The heightened tension would pull on the Fault and speed up the splitting process.

Moreover, he trusted Gerard not to abuse his freedom. No captive had ever ended up reclaiming their mind and befriending their connected soul before. All things considered, it was near impossible Gerard would be the exception. Surely things would go as planned.

“Show me how to get there?” Gerard asked in a quiet voice.

Thaddaeus smiled. “Absolutely.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> {Sky Ferreira - Night Time, My Time}


	14. Decks Dark

_“Then into your life, there comes a darkness.”_

* * *

** _10.15.2003_ **

Frank wasn’t usually one to make promises. Mostly because he was aware of his tendency to forget things or put them off if they were unenjoyable. But when he’d promised Gerard he would check up on Mikey, he sure as hell wasn’t about to go back on that.

So, here he was, standing on his client’s doorstep on a Wednesday afternoon. It was part of Frank’s job to meet with his clients and update them on the progress of their cases, but he very rarely showed up unannounced like he had today. As he stood there, he debated telling Mikey about the incident in the Woods, wondering if he could omit enough details that it wouldn’t put him at risk. He just wanted to provide some hope, let Mikey know they were getting somewhere, even if he didn’t give him all the specifics.

Frank was surprised when Mikey actually answered the door. He looked like he was getting ready to go somewhere and Frank immediately felt bad for interrupting him.

“Oh, hi,” Mikey said. Neither Frank nor Ray had been in contact with him for several days and now his face took on a hopeful expression. Frank realized he probably thought they’d found something important.

“Hey.” Frank offered up a friendly smile. “I hope I didn’t catch you at a bad time. I’m sorry I didn’t call before coming over here…”

“No, no, it’s fine.” Mikey opened the door a bit more. “You can come inside if you want, I’m not busy or anything.”

“Oh, okay, great. Thank you.” It was safe to say Frank felt obligated to give Mikey some sort of good news now. He looked more hopeful now than he had throughout the duration of his case.

Mikey led Frank into the living room, asked if he could get him a glass of water or anything. Frank politely declined. It was reassuring to see him in a good mood when he’d been so somber every other time Frank had talked to him.

“So, anything new?” Mikey asked. He had a seat and Frank followed suit.

“Um…” Frank thought over his next words very carefully. “Well, I told you I talked to Bert a few days ago. And he told me about your brother’s possible connection to the Vampires’ Woods.”

Mikey nodded.

Frank’s eyes skimmed across the room as he struggled with what to say, feeling a bit unnerved as he surveyed the old photographs on the walls. Now that he had a better idea of what had happened to this family, seeing them captured during moments of oblivious happiness was uncanny.

“You said you were going to go there, right?” Mikey asked, interrupting Frank’s thoughts.

“Yes. And we did.”

“Did you find anything?”

Frank took a breath. “Yes. I…can't give you the specifics just yet, unfortunately, but we did find evidence to suggest Gerard may have gone missing there.”

Mikey’s eyes widened. Frank wanted so badly to tell him he’d actually spoken to Gerard.

“Wait, so you think you might be able to find out what happened to him?”

“It’s a possibility. We don’t have much to go on yet, but we’re working to find more,” Frank said. “We think looking further into his disappearance will help us figure out what happened here.”

God, he wished he could just tell the complete truth. The whole reason anything had happened in Mikey’s house at all was that Gerard had been protecting him. But Frank couldn’t say that, and he hated it.

“That’s great!” Mikey breathed. “Man, I really didn’t think you would find anything. That’s so good to hear.”

Frank forced himself to smile. “I’m glad we found something, too.” He cleared his throat and glanced around the room again. “I wanted to see how you’re doing, too. Holding up okay?”

Mikey nodded. “Yeah, I mean, it’s still kind of creepy having to sleep here and everything.” He laughed quietly to himself. “Normally I would just run off and travel somewhere, go visit a friend in another city. But, you know, I’ve had to stay here ‘cause of this case, and I actually feel like it’s been a good thing. It’s grounded me a little bit.”

“That’s good,” Frank said. “And I’m sure you already know this, but there are plenty of resources available if you need to talk to someone. Things like this can have a really big impact, so that’s why I wanted to check in with you.”

“I appreciate that a lot. Yeah, I think I’m doing fine.”

Mikey was kind of hard to read, even if he was in a relatively positive mood at the moment, so Frank supposed he’d have to take his word for it. Nothing in him was screaming that something was wrong, anyway.

“Have you noticed any more activity?” Frank asked.

“Not really. Nothing obvious. Sometimes I still feel…sort of like a presence.”

“Gerard’s presence?”

“Yeah, I think so.” Mikey nodded, reaffirming himself. “It’s not bad. It’s comforting.”

Frank knew Gerard had probably actually been there at the time Mikey had felt him. He wished he could say that. Maybe eventually…

They talked for a little while longer after that. Frank realized he actually quite liked Mikey’s company. He was shy at first, but he was quick to warm up, and he was an intriguing person in an unapologetic sort of way. Frank admired his resilience in the face of everything that was going on.

About half an hour later, Frank remembered he had to get back home soon. He’d asked Ray to come over because, well, they kind of needed to talk about everything he and Gerard had discussed the night before and brainstorm what in the world they were going to do about it. Remembering caused stress to flood Frank’s body all over again. But at least now he knew Mikey was doing okay and seemed to be out of danger, so that was one worry he could check off his list.

“Well, I’d better get going,” Frank said. “Thanks for letting me crash your afternoon.”

Mikey laughed. “It’s no problem at all. I’m so glad you guys are getting somewhere.”

“Me too.” They headed for the door and Mikey pulled it open. “Well, you have a good day, alright? Remember you can always call us if you need to.”

“Sure thing,” Mikey said with a smile. “See you later.”

Frank gave him a wave in farewell as he began walking to his car.

Okay, so now that was done. Frank felt a little better, plus he could fill Gerard in later and take a major weight off his shoulders.

But now was the hard part. He had to explain this whole mess to Ray, and they had to figure out how they were going to fix it.

* * *

A little while later, the two of them sat side by side on the old sofa in Frank’s living room. It was quiet save for the CD playing softly across the room, and they’d been focused on working for about half an hour; Ray was going through client emails and Frank was updating his book of case notes. He still hadn’t found a good way to bring up the conversation he’d had with Gerard, and his apprehension was building by the second.

“We might have something new to work on,” Ray said after another few minutes. “This lady just emailed us about nightly disturbances in her home.”

“What kinds of disturbances?” Frank asked.

“It says here that she keeps seeing bright blue lights through her windows, hearing indescribable noises? It’s been happening on and off for a few months, but now it’s every night.”

“Hm.” Frank paused to consider it. “Doesn’t necessarily sound paranormal to me. It could be a lot of different things.”

“Well, there’s more,” Ray said. “She says the light makes her house so cold now that she has to get up and leave. It’s so cold it’s painful. She had a clairvoyant over to cleanse her property and it only made things worse.”

“Did they pick up on anything?”

“They described the energy in her house as ‘negative space,’ whatever that means. I guess there was an unusual lack of it.” Ray shrugged. “She doesn’t have any neighbors, either, lives on the southern edge of town.”

Frank hummed. “It might be worth checking out.”

“I think so. You’re right though, most of it sounds like it could be related to natural causes.” Ray scrolled back and forth through the email, reading over the sender’s description again. “We need to inspect her house before we commit to it.”

“God, there’s not enough time for all of this,” Frank sighed. “We need to recruit other people.”

“I know. I do know a few people who we could bring on the team, but I want to make sure they’re a good fit.”

“For sure.”

They’d had an unusually large amount of cases lately. Some of their clients even lived outside of Malimore in the other towns surrounding it. Frank knew it was partly due to their growing recognition within the Forest of Souls, and he was grateful for that, but they needed help if they wanted to keep their operation running smoothly. Aside from that, activity levels had noticeably increased in general, and he couldn’t deny that it worried him a bit.

But seeing as the two of them had built their business from the ground up, it was important to them that they would be working with people equally as passionate as they were. However, Frank was growing kind of desperate at this point. The stress was starting to wear down on him, and that wasn’t even accounting for everything else that was going on. Speaking of which…

“Hey, can I talk to you about something?” Frank asked, closing his notebook and sitting up. He knew he was just going to have to do it. He couldn’t put it off any longer.

Ray seemed to notice the change in his demeanor. He set his laptop aside, giving Frank his full attention. “Of course. What’s up?”

Frank sighed and ran his hand through his hair. There was a lot on his mind, and he didn’t even know where to begin. His responsibilities seemed to be flooding back to him all at once and it was overwhelming. “It’s kinda bad. Well, more than kinda.”

Ray took in Frank’s distressed body language, and Frank could practically _feel _him become instantly worried. “What is it?”

A long pause. “I don’t know where to start.”

Ray frowned. “This is kinda like when you’re a teenager and your parents say you need to talk. It’s the same soul-crushing dread.”

Frank chuckled in spite of himself. Did he really look that distressed? “Shit, I’m sorry. I just don’t know how to explain it without freaking you out or freaking myself out or…” He felt like freaking Ray out was kind of inevitable. After all, the world could potentially go up in smoke. He just couldn’t figure out how to say it without making it sound so hopeless.

“Does it have to do with what happened in the Woods?” Ray asked, his voice quiet like he was afraid someone would hear.

“Well, yes, kind of. Do you remember how when we were all sitting in the kitchen talking, you told me I should try talking to Gerard?”

“Uh-huh.”

“I did talk to him. Last night.”

Ray looked surprised at that. “Really? Man, that’s still so crazy to me. What’d he say?”

“He answered a ton of questions for me. I guess I’ll just start at the beginning if that’s okay.”

Ray nodded vigorously, prompting Frank to go on.

He recapped the whole conversation as best he could, explaining all the things that Gerard had: The origins of the mysterious wounds on his body, the story of Gerard’s kidnapping, how it all related to the vampires and the sort of cult they’d formed. Then Frank tied it to his parents’ death and the gruesome nature of Mikey’s case.

Ray didn’t make any comments, but his eyes grew a little wider as Frank went on. He looked overwhelmed, and rightfully so.

“So, basically,” Frank said to finish up, “that thing that chased us in the Woods was the vampires’ leader. And it’s just…” he paused and rubbed his temples. “It’s so much to think about.”

Ray nodded slowly. “No fucking kidding.”

“Do you have any questions, or…?”

“God, I don’t even know.” Ray thought about it for a little while before coming up with something to ask. “Okay, so Mikey. You’re telling me a vampire got into his house and Gerard blew it up? And that’s what happened?”

“Pretty much.”

He hesitated before asking his next question. “And you’re sure all of this is true?”

Frank had kind of expected him to ask that, but he was confident in his faith in Gerard. “I don’t see why it wouldn’t be.”

“I think there’s a good possibility he’s being honest, don’t get me wrong, but just hear me out for a second,” Ray said. “Have you considered that he could be working with them? The vampires?”

Well, Frank hadn’t thought about _that _specifically. He knew Ray was probably just trying to play the devil’s advocate, consider a good range of possibilities, but the question still struck him in the chest in a way that was very uncalled for. “I dunno. He seems pretty genuine to me. And after everything he’s been through…”

“I can imagine he would’ve learned how to tell a good lie,” Ray said. “I’m not saying I’m right; I’m just saying you should think about it. Before I knew about all this vampire stuff I couldn’t find a good reason not to trust him, but this kind of changes things.”

Frank frowned to himself. Ray had a point, but Frank had several reasons to believe Gerard’s story. “If he was working with them, I don’t see why he would’ve told me all that. Or saved my life. Or put such an effort into protecting Mikey.”

“Well, he’s earning your trust by doing those things, isn’t he? What if it’s a trap?”

Frank wasn’t convinced. “I don’t think so.” He paused, knowing now was the best time to bring up the Fault dilemma. “And I still haven’t told you the important part.”

“The important part?” Ray asked.

Frank nodded. “Last night, when he came to see me, he was corporeal again. So, we sat in my room and talked for a while, and he ended up falling asleep. He said he had this dream where he…” Frank trailed off as he tried to remember how Gerard had described it. “He went to this other dimension? But it was real. Like, he _knew _it was real. And he said he overheard some vampires talking.”

Ray already looked skeptical, but Frank kept going anyway.

“You know how my soul is bonded to his? Apparently we’re not the only ones like that. There are a lot of others. And of course, a soul in the physical realm tied to one in the spiritual realm creates some disturbance across the dimensions, that’s just inherent.”

Ray nodded.

“There are enough bonds that all the tension is ripping apart the spacetime continuum. When it splits, the vampires will survive since they’re soulless, but they’ll have free reign over all of us. And so – and this is where it gets kind of crazy,” Frank took a deep breath, “we think the rip appears in our dimension as the San Andreas fault. That means once it splits open, the whole planet’s obliterated, and we’re all worse than dead.”

Ray was silent for a moment, looking stunned. “So, you’re telling me all this based on a dream Gerard had, that he claims was real, that he could’ve totally misinterpreted or made up if he wanted to?”

Frank sighed. “I know it’s pretty out there, but just think about it. There’s actual documentation of the vampires nearly killing off everyone in this town because they were so hungry. Not just once, but multiple times over the course of a couple of centuries. And I know a lot of people don’t believe in that stuff anymore, but just look at what happened in the Woods the other day. Clearly there’s something weird going on here, something they’re working hard to keep a secret. I think it’s possible they’d try to destroy the whole world just so they could, I don’t know, become all-powerful or something. They could sustain their race forever.”

Ray narrowed his eyes. “Parts of it make sense, but the San Andreas fault is just the boundary between two tectonic plates. So, following that line of reasoning, is every tectonic fault a rip in spacetime?”

“I don’t know, maybe,” Frank said. “I just think it’s a possibility.”

“I’m not trying to discredit you here. I think there’s a chance it could hold up as a solid theory if we did a _lot_ of research, but you’re kind of jumping to conclusions. This is bonkers, dude. Just a little bit.”

Frank knew Ray was technically right. If he were to go up to the average scientist and spout off his idea, they would think he was insane. But in Malimore, where their knowledge of magic had drastically advanced their knowledge of science, it was plausible. Frank even remembered learning just how plausible this kind of thing was during the brief time he’d attended college.

“And wouldn’t we have already picked up on all the energy coming from that thing?” Ray asked.

“Maybe not. Maybe it’s hidden. Nobody really knows all the rules when it comes to this stuff, anyway.”

“Exactly,” Ray said. “Frank, you know I respect your opinions a lot. I swear you’re a fucking genius sometimes. But please consider the unlikelihood of this for a little bit. Not to mention you’re basing most of it off of something Gerard told you.”

Frank was quiet, deciding to back down.

“If he’s been manipulated and abused like you say, the chances that all that brainwashing wouldn’t get to him, at least to some extent, are really fucking slim. I’m not saying it isn’t possible, but he would have to be one hell of a strong person. Probably one out of thousands.”

“I mean, we don’t know for sure how our bond works either,” Frank said, “but we do know for a fact that it exists, and I can _feel _it. I think if he was lying, I would be able to tell.”

Ray wasn’t convinced. “Maybe.”

“Oh, and!” Frank suddenly remembered a detail that made him perk up excitedly as things began to fall together. “When Lindsey gave me my reading at the library, and she saw my soul was split, she said she’d seen that exact same thing in other people. That backs my theory.”

“Huh.”

Frank huffed. “Don’t tell me you think she’s lying too.”

Ray laughed. “No, I actually don’t think that. I trust her more than most of the clairvoyants I’ve met.”

Frank’s mouth curled into a triumphant smile. He couldn’t help himself. “She told me Gerard’s not malicious, too. If anyone would be able to confirm that, she would.”

“Frank. I don’t think he’s an evil mastermind or whatever. I just think you should be more critical.”

Frank understood Ray was only trying to look at things logically, even if his personal instincts told him that Gerard was trustworthy. “I know. I’m sorry.”

“I mean, I’m sure it’s hard cause of the bond thing. I can’t imagine having something like that with someone.”

Frank nodded in agreement. “Yeah, it’s…it’s pretty incredible.”

Ray looked up at Frank and smirked a bit. “You’re gonna totally fucking fall in love and forget all about me and the rest of our friends and bail on all our clients and-”

“Oh, shut the hell up,” Frank groaned. “It’s not like _that_, weirdo.”

Ray snickered. “I know you’re dedicated to your job but getting with a ghost is taking things pretty far.”

“Dude.” Frank rolled his eyes so hard he swore they were going to pop out of his skull. “You’re _gross_.”

Ray was suddenly beside himself, laughing against the back of his hand.

“You’re just jealous,” Frank retorted with a mischievous grin on his face.

“Oh, man!” Ray threw his hands up with a dramatized expression of shock. “Yeah, you got me there!”

Just before Frank could respond, a loud banging sound came from the hallway, making them both startle and fall silent in an instant. It was dull and hollow like something heavy had been thrown against a wall with enough force to make the old house creak in several places. Frank’s brain stuttered to a frightened halt, skimming through a list of possible explanations such as an intruder or an unidentified spirit, before he realized what, or who, it probably was.

“Jesus, ow!” cried a familiar voice in another room, muffled but still discernible.

Frank was unsure of what to do, because he hadn’t intended on introducing Ray and Gerard anytime soon, or maybe ever, but he supposed it was going to have to happen now.

“Who is that?” Ray whispered.

Frank turned around to look towards the hallway and was just about to answer Ray’s question when Gerard poked his head around the corner.

“Frank, hi,” he said, breathing heavily. “I’m so sorry about that, I–” He stopped and suddenly looked flustered. “Oh. I didn’t know you had company over.”

Frank just nodded, not really sure what to say.

“Holy shit, is that him?” Ray asked.

“Uh, yep.”

“And he– he’s really here. He’s like. I could go and poke him right now if I wanted to.”

It was then that Frank realized Gerard was fucking physically present again, which was still such a wild concept that utterly baffled him. And now he was visibly uncomfortable – understandable when Ray was gawking at him and talking about him like he wasn’t right there.

“Gerard, this is Ray,” Frank finally said, gesturing towards him. “He’s my best friend. We work together.”

“Um, hi.” Gerard smiled shyly and did a small wave. “I didn’t mean to interrupt, I’m sorry.”

“That’s…that’s okay,” Frank said. “Uh.”

“Oh, yeah.” Gerard stepped out from behind the corner, seeming to remember why he’d come in the first place. He was wearing the same tattered leather jacket and jeans he had on every time he appeared.

Frank wondered morbidly if he’d died wearing that.

“Do you have a second to talk? I just had an idea about how we could test our theory,” Gerard explained.

Oh, so that explained why he’d shown up so abruptly. Whatever he had to say must be important. Either that or he’d gotten too used to the freedom of being a ghost. “Yeah, we were actually just talking about that.”

“So…so he knows?”

Frank glanced back at Ray and nodded. Maybe now that Gerard was actually here, he would be a bit more receptive. “He does. What’d you come up with?”

“Okay, great.” Gerard cleared his throat. “So. Séances, right? I know the ‘proper’ way to go through with one is by asking for a specific person. But what if you could leave the line of communication open so that anyone could talk?”

Frank wasn’t sure how possible that was. Séances worked best when the leader called on the energy of a known individual. Communication was always more difficult and more unclear whenever you didn’t know who you were talking to. That was part of the reason researching the histories of certain properties and homes, including their previous owners, was so important.

“If you were able to do that, you could ask them how they died. Because, I mean, I remember how I died,” Gerard explained. “Surely someone else would too.”

“And then if they said they died like you did…”

“That would support our theory,” Gerard finished.

“Hold on, hold on, hold on,” Ray interjected. “That could be really dangerous. We don’t even know if it would work or not.”

“Well, we would need to take some extra safety precautions,” Frank said. “Obviously we’d need to get help from a witch, make sure to do it in a place that’s not connected to any of us, all of that. We could at least try.”

Ray seemed to consider it, just a bit.

“So, Gerard,” Ray said. “First of all, explain to me this dream you had, since Frank did such a terrible job of it.”

Frank grumbled under his breath.

“Oh,” Gerard said. “Well, first I ‘woke up’ in this dark place…”

He went on to retell the entire dream and explain how he knew it had actually happened, was more than just a figment of his imagination. By the time he was finished, Ray appeared a little more open to the idea.

“So, you two think this fracture is showing up in our dimension as a tectonic fault?” Ray asked.

Gerard shrugged. “It’s just a hunch. I think it’d make sense.”

“And how exactly do you think a séance is going to help?”

“If all the ghosts in Malimore are only here because of the vampires, they’d all tell similar stories of how they died. That’s assuming they remember and they’re willing to talk, of course.”

Ray glanced and Frank, and Frank stared back. Gerard watched the two of them hopefully.

“Why can’t you just talk to them?” Ray asked Gerard.

He shrugged. “I’ve never been able to see them.”

“The vampires could be keeping you all in separate dimensional planes. Small ones stacked on top of each other,” Frank suggested.

“That would have to be hundreds, right?” Ray asked. “That would create a lot of tension on the spacetime continuum, especially if you’re all bonded to people back here. That kind of energy would be catastrophic.”

Frank looked at Ray pointedly, and he sighed.

“Okay, okay, maybe it’s more plausible than I thought,” he admitted. “But I still wanna be really careful about this séance thing. I’m not even sure how to go about it.”

“We’re gonna have to rethink the way we do it,” Frank said. “Surely there’s a way to give any ghost the opportunity to speak. I mean, if we did enough digging, I’m almost positive we could find a written record of someone else trying it before us.”

“You’re actually going to do it?” Gerard asked.

Ray looked at Frank again and shrugged. “Maybe.”

Frank nodded. “It’s not a bad idea.”

Gerard genuinely smiled at that, like he was glad he was able to help.

“Would you wanna be there?” Ray asked. “Maybe you could pick up on energies that we couldn’t.”

“Really? Well, I’ll be there if you want me to be. I’ll just have to make sure I don’t get caught.”

Ray seemed to think for a little while. Frank wondered what he was planning.

“You can go back and forth between the physical and spiritual worlds, right?”

Gerard nodded.

“That means you _can _see more than we do, even if it’s not other ghosts.”

“Yes.”

Ray glanced at Frank and gave him an odd sort of smile. “You wanna help us with this new case we might take?”

Gerard looked surprised, as did Frank.

“Uh, I mean-”

“We’re gonna go take a look at this house in a couple of weeks. I think you’d be really helpful.”

Gerard nodded hesitantly. “Sure? I guess if I could actually help you that much. I really do have to be careful, though. I can’t just come here whenever I want.”

“I understand,” Ray said. “It’d be really bad if you were caught, right?”

In a split second, Gerard’s face went paler than it already was, if that was even possible. “It’d be worse than bad. For all of us.”

“Then come whenever you can. Be careful. It’s no rush.”

Frank looked at Ray quizzically. Obviously he was doing this for a reason. It wasn’t that they didn’t need Gerard’s help, but there were ways to go without it. They didn’t own all the equipment they did just for the sake of having it.

“I’ll just…let you know, then?” Gerard asked. He glanced at Frank, mirroring his confused expression.

“That’d be perfect,” Ray said with a smile.

“Well, um, I should probably go now. I just wanted to tell you about the séance idea.”

“Oh, before you go, I went and talked to Mikey today,” Frank interjected, remembering he’d meant to tell Gerard how it went. “He’s doing fine. I don’t think he’s in any danger.”

“You actually went?” Gerard asked.

“Yeah, of course.”

“I wasn’t sure if you really would,” he said. “I don’t mean that in a bad way, I just…”

Frank gave him a reassuring smile. “That’s okay. But don’t worry, I wouldn’t break a promise like that. I want to make sure he’s safe, too.”

“Does Mikey know you’re here?” Ray asked.

“No,” Gerard said with a sigh. “I wish I could go talk to him, but…well, it’s a long story.”

Ray nodded in understanding. “Frank told me some of it. I’m so sorry you had to go through all that.”

Gerard shrugged. “I just hope I get to _actually_ see him again someday.”

“You will,” Frank said. “We’ll find a way.”

“I hope so.” Gerard seemed a little more reassured. Maybe now that he had someone to put his faith in, things didn’t feel so hopeless. “Well, thank you for doing that for me, it really means a lot. But I should get going now…”

“Take care of yourself, okay?” Frank said. “We’re gonna figure this out. Things are going to be fine.”

Well, that wasn’t guaranteed, but saying it made reality feel a bit more bearable.

Gerard nodded. “Yeah. It’s gonna be fine.”

Frank smiled at him, wishing he could stay longer just so he didn’t have to go back to whatever dark place he came from. “I’ll see you later.”

He blinked, and just like that, Gerard was suddenly gone, leaving his chest with that incomplete, empty feeling again. Watching someone disappear in a split second was already weird enough on its own.

Gerard had said before that Frank allowed him to be physically present. Maybe…Frank was just constantly open to him now? That could be a good thing or a bad thing, he supposed.

He turned around and saw Ray watching him with his eyebrows raised. “That’s wild, man,” he said. “He’s dead but like, casually.”

Frank chuckled. “That might be the best way to describe him.”

“I think I kinda get it now,” Ray said. “After hearing him talk, I can see why you trust him.”

“Really?”

“Yeah. It’s just…something about him. You can sort of tell he’s being real.” Ray shrugged his shoulders. “But the reason I asked him to help us is to make sure he’s _actually _being real. I figured if the séance was just a set-up he would’ve refused to be there for it. So, if he shows up, I’ll feel a lot safer.”

“I was wondering,” Frank said. He supposed they were going to test what Gerard said against what their equipment told them. Even though he felt guilty for keeping Gerard from the whole truth, he knew it was a good plan. He needed Ray to keep him grounded.

“Maybe, if the brainwashing actually didn’t get to him, it was _because _of your bond,” Ray said. “If it’s as strong as you say it is and everything, and if he’s been haunting you for a little while, then maybe he felt it and it made him want to fight back.”

Frank hummed, pondering that. The whole thing was pretty incredible, now that Ray had put it into perspective. Of course, the bond might have helped Gerard along, snapped him out of it, but Frank knew people and circumstances and relationships couldn’t ultimately save other people, that was something they had to work for on their own. Gerard wasn’t perfect, but the fact that he hadn’t turned into a vengeful monster or fallen into the cycle of anger spurred on by tragedy was a testament to his character.

And one thing was for sure – once they resolved all of this – because they _were _going to resolve it – Frank wanted to see Gerard properly heal. He wasn’t sure how that was going to work or where Gerard was going to get real help from, but he was going to make it happen.

“One out of thousands,” Frank said.

Ray nodded. “It’s always possible, I guess.”

“You think his plan will work?”

“I guess we’ll just have to find out.”

Frank sighed, knowing full and well that it could end in one million different ways, good or bad. He had no idea what to expect. “I guess we will.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> {Radiohead - Decks Dark}
> 
> I'm sorry about the wait on this one. :// I'm super busy right now so sadly updates are going to be less frequent for a while, but I'm still for sure gonna finish this story! I hope you'll hang in there with me in the meantime. Thanks for reading!


	15. Fireman

_“If you could hear the dreams I’ve had my dear / They would give you nightmares for a week.”_

* * *

** _10.28.2003_ **

Frank had decided he didn’t like this house as soon as he’d stepped through the threshold for the first time. There was something about it that was suffocating, like the silence was caving in on him.

He and Ray had done a thorough home inspection, scoured the history of the property and the section of land on which it was established. They’d checked for gas leaks, faulty appliances, any normal cause of the phenomenon that was taking place. They’d ultimately come to the conclusion that there was nothing. Literally nothing.

The energy inside the house was dead. Killed off. Frank had never investigated a place so lifeless. It didn’t help that the property was just outside of town, set back from the highway, leaving nothing but absolute silence to keep him company.

Now that the inspection process was over, and they understood the event taking place was more than likely supernatural, they sat in their client’s living room asking her questions.

Laura Aguilar didn’t look afraid. Rather, she just looked tired. She had dark circles underneath her dull, sunken-in eyes. She hadn’t slept through the night in a month due to the bright lights that shone through her windows.

“You said the light is painful?” Ray asked.

“Yes,” she said with a nod. “It burns like dry ice on your skin. It makes the air hard to breathe.”

“And it’s every night?”

“Has been for about a month. It started back in August, got a little worse every week after that.”

Ray asked her question after question and Frank couldn’t tell whether he was more critical or baffled. Laura had already hired so many people to figure out what the problem was – clairvoyants, home inspectors, the works. As far as they had all been concerned, there was no apparent cause behind the event. Actually, there shouldn’t have been an event at all. Even though several people had witnessed the phenomenon, nothing about Lauren’s home was abnormal spiritually or physically.

Frank wondered if it could be some strange shared hallucination. Gas leaks and inaudible frequencies had been ruled out, but did it have to be that? Couldn’t hallucinations on a larger scale come about in other ways? He was equally unsure as to why he was questioning whether or not the event was actually supernatural. It was like everything around him was suddenly screaming at him to find another explanation.

He drifted back to reality after an unknown span of time. Ray was still asking questions and he prayed this woman hadn’t noticed he’d zoned out.

Frank remembered, absently, that Gerard was there somewhere, assessing the conversation from some other dimension. Laura had no idea he was there, and Frank felt like that was probably illegal or something.

“You’re sure you’re okay with us spending the night?” Ray asked.

“Of course. I’ll be staying with a friend so you can have all the space you need.”

Ray nodded appreciatively. “Well, if you wouldn’t mind walking me around the property, Frank’s gonna get everything set up.” Ray looked at Frank pointedly, clearly aware that he’d zoned out. Frank felt worse about it then.

Ray and Laura headed out the back door, Laura still rambling her thanks that they’d taken a chance on her.

Now Frank sat alone in the living room, oddly disoriented. Either he was having an especially bad off day, or something weird was going on. He knew Ray would ask him about it later.

He rubbed his eyes before beginning to search through his gear, looking for the recording equipment he needed. They’d already gotten all their base readings; now the main thing to focus on was monitoring.

He sighed and glanced around the room. “What do you think, Gerard?” He didn’t really expect an answer, so he was surprised when the lamp next to him glowed a little brighter before flickering wildly. He normally would’ve ruled it a coincidence, but now he was able to feel him, far more in tune with the ghost’s presence than he had been before. Frank supposed it was because they’d grown a little closer.

He hummed and began setting up a bundle of instruments. They indicated a single presence, which was obviously Gerard, but nothing else out of the ordinary.

He repeated this process in every room. That night they would shut off all the power to the house, just to ensure accuracy. One of them would sleep inside and one of them, the brave one, would sleep outside. Neither one of them was feeling particularly brave, however, so they would decide with a coin flip later.

Frank headed outside once he was finished with his task. Being away from the town was creepy in this context, but he couldn’t deny the land Laura lived on was beautiful. She had a small, unfenced garden and a green lawn behind her house, and beyond that was forest. Twilight had set in and the trees rustled against one another as a breeze passed through them. Frank could feel Gerard beside him (well, “beside” wasn’t really the right word…beside and in some other direction he couldn’t comprehend) and he felt peaceful for a moment.

He was snapped back to reality when he felt Gerard run off somewhere else. He set up a Kestrel meter on a tripod in the middle of the garden and hurried back inside.

Half an hour later, Laura thanked them again, shook their hands earnestly, reminded them one last time where everything was, and then made her way out. She seemed relieved to be getting away, and Frank hoped, for her sake, they could solve the problem.

“I don’t like it here, man,” Ray said once she’d left, running his hands up and down his arms. “It’s too quiet.”

“I know. Geez.” Frank shook his head. “I don’t blame her for hightailing it out of here.”

“And leaving us all alone to fend for ourselves.” Ray pulled his wallet from his pocket and fished around until he found a quarter. “Speaking of which…”

“It’d better be you, I swear to god.”

“Gee, thanks.” Ray balanced the coin on his thumb. “Heads or tails?”

“Hm. Tails.”

“Tails it is.” Ray flicked the coin into the air. The house was so quiet that Frank flinched when it hit the ground.

They watched eagerly as the coin spun around and around. When it finally stilled, Ray took one look before he began laughing heartily.

“Nooo,” Frank whined. “That’s not fair!”

“Aw, suck it up. I’m sure you’ll be fine.”

“Easy for you to say.”

Ray waved his hand dismissively. “Gerard will keep you company.”

“He’s not dumb enough to stay out there all night.” Frank crossed his arms. “Ray. I’m gonna die.”

“You’re not gonna die. You’ll be okay.” A pause. “Where is Gerard, anyway?”

Frank held a hand up, signaling for Ray to be quiet as he searched for the ghost’s aura. “He’s…” He closed his eyes, focusing harder, thinking of how it felt being near to him, and suddenly a very clear image popped into his mind. “Aww.”

“What?”

“He’s out front. He found Laura’s cat.”

“You can _see _him?”

“Yeah, I guess so.” Frank rushed over to one of the windows at the front of the house. And sure enough, just like he’d pictured, there was a black and white cat in the middle of the lawn, playing with the air.

“That shouldn’t be as adorable as it is,” Ray said. “He just might win me over, Frank.”

“I thought he would.”

_ **10.29.2003** _

Frank had laid a sleeping bag and a mound of blankets out on the soft grass, but he didn’t plan on sleeping. He would keep an eye on the Kestrel meter, watch the stars, and read by the dim light of his lantern.

During the two weeks since their conversation about the Fault, Ray had convinced one of his professors to lend him a leather-bound tome, hand-written by a nameless author, that detailed the history of the town. He’d handed it over to Frank who had begun eagerly scouring the yellowed pages. It was clearly written by a witch, probably sometime during the late 1800s, and it was fascinating, filled with illustrations and scribbled notes in the margins. It wasn’t a diary, but at times the writing was so personal that Frank felt he wasn’t supposed to be reading it.

And now he devoured the words for what must’ve been hours as the earth turned and the stars passed across the sky. He lost track of what time it was. Gerard had been there with him almost the entire time, which was comforting and honestly endearing. Frank spoke to him a couple of times, let him know it was okay if he wanted to go, that Ray would get over it eventually, but he got a sense that Gerard was content just being there. Frank supposed it must be worlds better than whatever he had to return to, anyway.

They had an odd relationship, he realized, as if it wasn’t already obvious, and he was strangely okay with that. Having Gerard there with him didn’t feel creepy or invasive, it just felt like home. Maybe being haunted wasn’t all bad after all.

Sometime in the night, Frank fell asleep in spite of himself. He woke up an unknown amount of time later, his head resting on the book and his lantern burnt out. He grumbled and thought about going inside to relight it, but it was much chillier than it had been before he’d fallen asleep and he didn’t feel like leaving the warmth of his sleeping bag.

He turned onto his side and peered into the forest. All he could see between the trees was a stretch of darkness, but he wasn’t afraid. He continued to look, noticing how his brain warped the shadows as it grew bored, far too used to staring into the dark to let it unnerve him.

But then something began to change, subtly at first, before it became undeniable. Frank had hoped on everything this wouldn’t happen. As soon as he saw it, he couldn’t believe his eyes.

Peeking out from between the smooth trunks was a soft blue light, slowly streaming across the ground and creeping towards the garden. Frank tried to tell himself he was imagining it, that everything was fine. The light didn’t bring any noise with it; if anything, it only deepened the silence.

He was frozen. His heart was beating wildly and he was unsure of what to do. He’d even planned for this already – he would simply take shelter under the porch, scribble down as many notes as he could, and hurry inside if it was too intense. But before now, he hadn’t actually _seen _the light. He hadn’t understood firsthand why it frightened Laura in the way it did. Now, as he stared it right in the face, it filled him with anxiety he couldn’t explain. His bones were glued together, immoveable.

“Gerard?” he said in a crackly whisper. The light grew brighter, drawing nearer, so blue it shouldn’t have been possible. Frank began to feel the cold Laura had described. “Gerard!”

His own voice seemed to rouse him a bit. He managed to get up and scramble backward across the lawn, away from the light, shrieking when he bumped into something solid. Whirling around, he realized Gerard had manifested, probably sensing his panic and hurrying to his rescue.

“Oh, I don’t like that,” Gerard said. His eyes were glued to the tree line. “Fuck no. I really, _really _don’t like that.”

“Jesus. Okay.” Frank collected himself and realized he’d left his journal next to his sleeping bag. The light hadn’t traveled that far yet, so he figured he could make a run for it. “I’ll be right back.”

“Frank, wait-” But he was already gone, and Gerard was left reaching for him.

Frank sprinted to the journal and picked it up with shaking hands before hurrying back. He grabbed Gerard’s hand along the way and lead him to the porch, where they huddled underneath the awning and against the brick of the house. The air was so frigid Frank could see his breath.

“Okay, okay, okay.” Frank checked his wristwatch for the time. He made a note that it was half-past two. “Okay, okay…” His heart raced as the light crept in a distinct line across the ground.

“Why are we still out here?” Gerard asked worriedly. “Wouldn’t it be safer inside?”

“You can forget about safety when you’ve got a job like this,” Frank said. “We’ll go in if we feel like we’re- I’m about to die. Or something.”

“Uh. Okay. If you say so.”

Frank scribbled down all the observations he could, hand flying across the page. It was happening. It was fucking happening. He couldn’t believe it was actually happening.

The light swallowed up the lawn and crept across the porch. Frank’s ears were ringing so loudly he couldn’t hear anything else, but he continued to write with all the determination in him.

And then, once it flowed over his body, he cried out.

Laura’s use of dry ice as a comparison was absolutely spot-on. It felt like he’d be dropped into a whole tank of it, and it burned and turned his skin brittle like crumbling paper. He felt Gerard grab his arm, and the next thing he knew he was being yanked inside the house. The door slammed shut and the air was still cold, but nothing like the direct contact of the light against his skin.

Gerard was holding him so tightly he couldn’t breathe, or maybe it was just the shock coursing through his body. He was shivering violently, had never been so cold in his life, and he was suddenly overwhelmed by the scent of something sweet, so strong he had to focus on holding back vomit.

“God, that was stupid,” Gerard said, breathing heavily.

Frank nodded in agreement, because yes, even he knew that had been incredibly fucking dangerous. He had no idea it would be so…potent.

“Are you okay? Do you feel sick? Do you think you-”

“No, no,” Frank breathed. “I’m-” He was cut off by a series of coughs. “I’m fine. I’ll be fine.”

Gerard held him closer and Frank actually couldn’t breathe now, but he didn’t have the heart to push him away.

“Frank, holy shit! This is bonkers!” Ray all but flew into the living room, stopping in his tracks when he saw the state of the two figures in front of him. “Whoa. What happened?”

“He nearly died, I think,” Gerard said, entirely serious.

“Is he okay?”

“Um.” Gerard looked down at Frank and loosened his hold a bit.

“I’m okay,” Frank said. At least he no longer felt like he was on the verge of hypothermia, so that was a big plus.

“I told you Gerard would bail you out.”

“You better be glad I’m here,” Gerard said, half-joking. “You’re both insane.”

Frank nodded in agreement and gently pulled away, making a beeline for the sofa. “Yep.”

“Insane enough to make friends with a ghost,” Ray said, and Gerard smiled back at him.

“So,” Frank said as he laid down and closed his eyes. He could see the light through the windows, painting the backs of his eyelids blue. “Ideas, Toro?”

“Try me again tomorrow. Without a full set of readings, I got nothin’. Haven’t ever seen anything like this.”

“Fair enough.”

Frank still felt woozy, but at least Ray seemed to be enjoying himself as he ran around the house and checked up on their monitors.

The minutes ticked by and by. Ray finished up his rounds and they all sat in the living room, watching the lights and wondering why in the hell Laura Aguilar was still living here. Gerard and Ray did most of the talking, and Frank was glad when he noticed they seemed to be warming up to each other.

Eventually, the light faded out and died. Ray peeked out the window and confirmed that it was gone and that everything in the backyard looked the same as it did before it arrived.

By then Frank was back to his usual self, but they decided to wait to go back outside, just to be safe. In the meantime, Gerard was determined to show them that he could, in fact, go twenty minutes without breathing and still function as he normally did. Ray timed him and Frank came to the conclusion that ghosts and their bodily functions were fucking weird.

After they scoured the backyard for anything out of the ordinary, Frank made a bold suggestion.

“Now might be a good time for the séance.”

After going back and forth about whether that would be a good idea, they came to the conclusion that they were already all together, which might not happen again for a while, so it was at least worth a shot. Jamia had already agreed a few days ago to help them, and as long as she was still awake (she probably was), they could give it a try.

Messaging someone at three in the morning to see if they were awake and willing to summon the dead with you felt just as weird in Malimore as it would have anywhere else, but five minutes later Jamia had responded that now was the perfect time and she was on her way. Suddenly it seemed like everything was happening at once, but Frank wouldn’t allow himself to have any second thoughts.

“I think she’s nocturnal,” Ray said.

“I think every witch is nocturnal.” Frank knew there was a reason for it. Magic was slightly more potent at night, and the boundaries between dimensions were just a bit thinner. Maybe that had something to do with the blue light…

He made a mental note of it, deciding to look into it later.

* * *

It was nearing four o’clock in the morning now. The air was so still that if you listened closely enough, you might be able to hear the stars twinkling in outer space. They were pinpricks in a navy-blue sky set alight by the crescent moon’s pale glow. The soft light bathed the earth beneath it, but it wasn’t enough to permeate the canopy of leaves crowning the dense forest on the south side of town.

Beneath the cover of the trees sat the party of four. They were cast in pitch-black, entirely indistinguishable until Jamia clicked on her lighter and began lighting the candles.

Frank was instantly hypnotized by the flames. He sat between Ray and Gerard and across from Jamia, their chosen séance leader. She looked a little nervous.

“We need to join hands now,” she said, voice barely above a whisper.

They all shuffled to evenly spread out around the circular blanket upon which their items sat. It was decorated with silver embroidery, enchanted to resist the fire and to draw in spirits with its attractive energy. Five candlesticks rested on top, perched inside shiny brass holders. Four were carved with protection sigils, one for each individual. The other was a beacon for the ghosts. An array of crystals was spread out by their feet, and at the center of it all was a bowl of bread and fruit, an alluring offering. A stone carved with a series of runes rested on Jamia’s knee.

Frank took the hands extended out to him and stared into the light.

Jamia looked around their circle. “Ready?”

The other three nodded. Hearts beat faster and the night caved in evermore.

“Deep breaths,” Jamia said. “Clear your mind. Be receptive.”

Frank focused on leaving behind his mental traffic, letting it exist somewhere in the background. He regarded his thoughts as passing clouds, having no real effect on him. The silence seemed to grow louder.

Her next words were whispered, slipping through her lips with her breath. “We pray the Spirit of the Universe guards us as we reach out toward distant realms. We ask for protection and good favor, for ourselves and for the souls we encounter.”

Frank didn’t dare open his eyes. Maybe he was afraid of what he might see.

“Tonight, we call upon anyone willing to present themselves. Make your presence known however you wish.”

They fell into silence, and they waited. The success of the séance depended more on the combination of crystals and sigils and Jamia’s ability to channel the spirits’ energy and less on the words that were spoken. There was nothing to do now except wait patiently with an open mind.

Frank could hear his friends breathing around him. He could feel the magic twirling in the air now, could see his protection sigil in his mind’s eye. He thought about the flames and how attractive they must be to an undead soul.

He was able to picture them so clearly with the more time that passed. They swam in the unmoving air. Four of the candles faded into the darkness, leaving the one in the center as a focal point. Gradually, the feeling of the ground underneath Frank disappeared, as did the chilly temperature of the night. It was only the flame, alone in the void, turning from a warm orange to a frigid blue as Frank’s mind sat idle, spectating.

Suddenly, he noticed Gerard’s hand was no longer holding his. He opened his eyes and he was back in the forest. The candles had been blown out, but his eyes were adjusted to the dark, and he could see Jamia collapsed against Gerard’s side. His stomach twisted with worry and confusion.

“It’s okay, it’s okay,” Gerard said to her over and over, voice trembling, before her silhouette sat upright and looked around in the darkness.

“What are you doing?” she asked Gerard.

“Sorry,” he said, shrinking in on himself. “I was just- I was trying to calm you down.”

“Calm me down?” Jamia asked.

Frank was just as confused as she was. All he remembered was zoning out and visualizing the candles. Nothing particularly terrifying.

“You were hyperventilating,” Gerard said.

“No, I wasn’t.”

“What are you talking about?” Ray asked. “Nothing happened.”

“What?” Gerard sounded terrified. “You’re kidding, right?”

No one answered.

“You don’t remember?”

Ray let go of Frank’s hand. He’d been squeezing it so hard it hurt, but Frank hadn’t noticed until now.

“It didn’t work,” Ray said. “Maybe you just saw something different.”

“No, all three of you were freaking the fuck out and I had to pull my hands away to stop it.” Gerard was breathing faster, clearly on the verge of panicking.

“Are you sure?” Ray sounded suspicious.

Jamia stared down at her palms as she rubbed them together. “I think we should listen to him. Something doesn’t feel right,” she said. “I can’t put my finger on what it is, but…”

“It went all wrong. I swear on everything,” Gerard said.

Frank looked around the circle curiously. His heart beat a little faster and he wasn’t sure what to believe.

“What happened, exactly?” Ray asked.

“Well.” Gerard wrapped his arms around his body and thought about it. “We found a spirit wandering around alone. You tried talking to them, but they couldn’t hear you. And then…I don’t really know how to explain the next part. It’s like suddenly there were thousands of them, and that’s when you all started shaking, but you couldn’t pull away. You kept asking for it to stop but it’s like you were in a trance.”

Frank looked at Ray, who looked back at him. His expression wasn’t visible in the dark.

“Are you sure?” Ray asked again.

“I’m sure. I-I don’t know what happened.”

“Hey, that’s okay,” Frank said. He could feel Gerard’s distress radiating from him, pulling at his heart, but he also heeded Ray’s advice to be a bit more critical in situations like this. “We just wanna make sure you didn’t misinterpret something.”

“It _did _happen,” Gerard said, beginning to sound frustrated. “I know what I saw.”

Frank considered how the last time he’d chosen not to believe Gerard things had gone terribly wrong. As dread crawled up his spine, he wondered if this time was different or not.

“Please trust me,” he said when Frank didn’t respond. He had the same desperate tone of voice as when he’d tried to convince Frank not to draw attention to Mikey, not to go to the Woods.

Frank was conflicted. “I do, but…”

“But?”

“Gerard, listen,” Jamia said. “You and I both know something weird happened, but I only know because I’m sensitive to that kind of thing. The two of them don’t remember at all, so wanting more to go on isn’t anything personal against you.”

Gerard considered her words, and Frank was suddenly even more grateful she was there. Unfortunately, he wasn’t great at diffusing situations outside of his professional life.

“I don’t think ignoring it would be a good idea,” Gerard said.

“We’re not going to ignore it,” Jamia replied. “We don’t think you’re lying.” She looked at Frank and Ray pointedly. “Right?”

Frank nodded right away. Ray hesitated a bit but ended up agreeing as well.

“But Frank’s right – things can be misinterpreted sometimes. We believe you; we just want to make sure you saw what you think you saw.”

Gerard still seemed nervous, maybe a bit irritated, but he decided to go with it for now. “Okay.”

“I still trust you,” Frank said. “If I didn’t, we wouldn’t be doing this right now.”

“I know,” Gerard said quietly. “I’m sorry.”

“That’s okay.” Frank wanted to add something about understanding, but he knew he really didn’t. He couldn’t begin to fathom the reasons behind Gerard’s desperation.

“Wait,” Ray whispered. “Guys.”

The three of them looked to him expectantly.

“My voice recorder.”

Frank raised his brows. “Did you have it running?”

“Yeah, of course.” Ray pulled it from his back pocket and clicked the button to stop it before tossing it from hand to hand. “Maybe we can figure out what happened.”

“Can we go inside first? It’s creepy as shit out here.” Jamia had already begun gathering up the items laid out across the blanket.

“The house isn’t much better,” Frank said.

Jamia mumbled something about not caring and Ray began helping her gather everything up. He sent Frank off to the house, telling him to walk through and make sure nothing was out of place. Gerard went with him, still trembling and jumpy.

“Are you okay?” Frank asked once they made it to the back door. As soon as they were inside he made a beeline for the flashlight on the kitchen counter, wanting light more than anything else.

“Not really,” Gerard admitted. “That was terrifying.”

Frank frowned. “Do you think we were in danger?”

“I don’t know. I don’t know what any of that was.”

Frank nodded as he switched on the light and let it hit the opposite wall. In the dim glow, he could see Gerard’s nervous expression, the way his eyes were a bit wider than normal. He led them into the adjoining living room and motioned for Gerard to sit beside him.

“Just…just relax for now. Ray will play back the audio he got and we’ll figure this out, okay?”

Gerard nodded. “Okay.”

“Let’s talk about something else for now, yeah?” Frank said. “Get your mind off of it.”

“Yeah. That sounds nice.”

Frank tried to think of what to say. He realized he and Gerard had never really had a normal conversation, not that they’d ever had the chance, and he was determined to change that at some point. He figured if they were stuck together for the rest of time, they should get to know one another beyond their tragedies and the terrifying events that were taking place. But for now, he could only really think of one question to ask.

“Do you ever come back for Halloween?”

“Sometimes,” Gerard said. “This is gonna make me sound like a total dick, but every few years I like to go around scaring people. It’s fun.”

Frank genuinely laughed. He hadn’t been expecting that. “I bet it is. I probably wouldn’t do anything different.”

Gerard smiled to himself. “It was always my favorite time of year back before… Anyways, I do like coming back, but it makes me kind of sad. I miss being a part of it.”

The words stung Frank’s heart a bit, or maybe more than a bit. He steered the conversation in another direction. “Well, if you come back this year, you should visit me. It’s in, like-” He had to think about it a moment, having lost track of the days in the midst of his busy schedule. “Three days? Right? Yeah, two or three days.”

“I wonder what everyone would think if I showed up at the festival. Do you think they’d recognize me?”

“Probably,” Frank said. “Imagine that. I could tell everyone I brought you back from the dead and get filthy fucking rich.”

“That’d be kinda fun,” Gerard giggled. “Maybe someday…”

Before Frank could say anything else, Ray and Jamia walked in through the back door with their arms full. Frank realized he hadn’t checked through the house like Ray had told him to, but he didn’t need to know that. Everything was fine, surely.

“Okay,” Jamia said with a huff. She dropped her items on the kitchen counter with an alarmingly loud crash. “You two holding up alright?”

“I think so,” Gerard said, and Frank felt like she was referencing the almost-argument they’d had more than their physical wellbeing.

“Stupendous.” She plunked herself down in the chair across from Frank and ran her fingers over the pentacle hung around her neck. “I feel like I could sleep for days.”

“Sleep is for the weak,” Ray said. He sat in the floor and balanced a flashlight on his knee.

Jamia rolled her eyes. “When you haven’t just led a séance, maybe.”

Ray grinned and placed his recorder on the coffee table. Everyone went a little stiller as the anticipation in the room rose. “Alright, well. Are you guys ready?”

Frank swallowed down the lump in his throat and Gerard fidgeted beside him. Frank nudged him with his elbow, reminding him he was still there, and Gerard shuffled close enough for their shoulders to brush. Frank could feel peaceful familiarity thinly wash over him. It was going to be okay.

“Ready as I’ll ever be,” Jamia said.

Ray took a deep breath, “Okay,” and pressed the play button.

For a while, it was just footsteps and chatter. He must’ve started the recording while they were walking to the forest. And then, several minutes later, they made it to when Jamia began the séance. Everyone held their breath.

_“Tonight, we call upon anyone willing to present themselves. Make your presence known however you wish…”_

After that, it was silent. For a long time. Frank’s heart thumped in his chest as he listened. This must’ve been around the time he was picturing the candles, watching the light turn from orange to blue. That had been rather odd…

Then, a whisper came from the recorder.

_“Hello?”_ It was Jamia’s voice, soft and serene. _“Passing by?” _A pause, and then some movement. _“Somewhere in the air, up and to the left. Dragging something heavy, like a piece of the universe.”_

Gerard leaned heavily now against Frank’s shoulder.

_“Is someone here?” _came Ray’s staticky voice.

_“Yes, but not because of us. They were here anyway, passing through. Lost. And it’s horrible.”_

Silence fell once again. Frank’s breath was in his throat, partly because the tension in the room was building, and partly because he didn’t remember any of this. That scared him more than anything. His hand moved from his lap to the space next to him, fingers laying over Gerard’s. His head didn’t feel weighted enough and he needed to bring himself back to reality.

Then there was an eerie sound from the recorder that was difficult to put into words. It was like a distant wail, like a train whistle or the echoing ring of a church bell, like a tornado raging miles and miles away. But at the same time, it was like gears being smashed against one another to create a grating cacophony, like all the stars chiming and roaring as they fell to the earth, like a gust of wind strong enough to knock the planet off its axis. It grew louder and louder until the audio clipped.

Gerard grabbed Frank’s hand. Frank looked up at Jamia, who stared back with wide eyes full of unmistakable fear. Ray sat motionless, staring at the device.

Other sounds cut through the ringing. Labored breaths and murmurs that sounded like pleas. And then someone was speaking frantically, asking if everyone was alright, begging them to wake up. It was very clearly Gerard. His voice was strained like he was fighting sleep, but he sounded genuinely terrified.

_“Oh god,” _someone else said, but their voice was so garbled Frank couldn’t tell who it was. _“No. I can’t do it.”_

The noise drowned out the sound of Gerard’s voice until finally, so abruptly it was startling, everything stopped. The recorder played back silence until Jamia’s voice gasped for air, and then there was the sound of her blowing out the candles, and then a bit of a pause before Gerard was asking her if she was okay. Frank could remember the rest.

Ray stopped the audio. He didn’t say a word.

Frank could feel Gerard tensed against his side, squeezing his hand. Across the living room, Jamia was clutching her pentacle with a vice grip. Ray was the first to speak up.

“What the hell was that?”

“That sound…” Jamia breathed. “That sound was horrible.”

Frank looked over at Gerard. He was bouncing his knee and literally hadn’t taken a breath since the recording had started.

“Are you okay?” Frank asked him.

Gerard cleared his throat. “It was just really scary.”

Ray looked at him with newfound understanding. “I…I guess you were right.”

Gerard didn’t respond. He wasn’t so worried about proving himself anymore.

“What do we do now?” Jamia asked.

Frank looked at Ray, but neither of them seemed to know the answer to that question.

“I want to figure out why we don’t remember that,” Ray said. “Gerard, do you have any ideas?”

Gerard just shook his head. He was still bouncing his knee.

“Jesus Christ, I hate this house,” Frank hissed, feeling the quiet cave in around him. The clock on the wall said it was almost half-past four. They’d agreed to stay until eight that morning and he was less than thrilled.

“Did you check any of the monitors?” Ray asked, to which Frank shook his head. “I’m gonna go do that. See if anything’s changed.” He got up from his spot and headed off into some other room, avoiding the door to the backyard by several feet.

As he left, Jamia moved from her own chair to Gerard’s other side and looked at him with deep concern. “Do you wanna talk about it?”

Gerard shook his head adamantly, and Frank placed his unoccupied hand over his knee in order to still it.

“I’m right here,” he said. “I’m not going anywhere. We’re okay.”

“I’m so afraid it has to do with the Fault,” Gerard said. “It felt like…when that sound happened, the air felt like electricity. And I saw that same light. And it was like the light through the windows, and the light in my dream, but it was colder…”

He continued rambling and Jamia just listened attentively while Frank’s mind ran off elsewhere. Something was wrong. He could feel it in his bones. And it kept getting stronger and stronger until…until what? When would the feeling reach its brink? What would that look like?

“I don’t wanna go back,” Gerard said at one point, drawing Frank back to reality.

“I can give you a masking spell,” Jamia said. “You could stay a little longer.”

Gerard shook his head. “I’m afraid he’d find out.”

She looked confused and Frank remembered she didn’t know the whole story yet. He’d have to catch her up some other time. For now, they were both too exhausted.

They continued talking until Ray walked back into the room and reported that some of their equipment hadn’t picked up on anything at all, while others had given them readings similar to what he’d documented in the clearing in the Woods. That connection made Frank feel worse.

“We need to run some more tests,” Ray said. “Something’s very wrong.”

“Yeah,” Frank breathed.

“Maybe your theory isn’t that far out after all.”

Frank hated to hear him admit that now. He noticed Gerard’s body was still against his, his head resting on his shoulder even though he wasn’t asleep.

“I’m going to give you some sort of protection,” Jamia said, getting up to search through her bag. “I don’t know what exactly is going on and I’m not sure I want to, but I know you need it.”

Frank couldn’t say he blamed her for wanting to remain oblivious, but he’d have to explain everything eventually.

He listened to Gerard breathe and ran his thumb over the back of his hand absentmindedly. Part of him was worried the ghost had spent too much time away from his dimension. He’d be sad to see him go.

And a few hours later, he and Ray would pack up their things and head home, and Frank would be left alone to ponder the end of the world again. If anything, the séance had only made things worse.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> {Jawbreaker - Fireman}
> 
> Thanks for reading!


	16. Shadowplay

_“To the center of the city in the night, waiting for you.”_

* * *

** _10.31.2003_ ** ** **

Halloween arrived like an autumnal sigh, a gust of cool wind cutting through the chaos of everyday life. As soon as the sun rose and the town began to stir, an aura of magic could already be felt floating in the air. This was the day everyone looked forward to.

Every year, much of the Forest of Souls’ population traveled to Malimore, the heart of their community, for the festival that took place in the town square. Halloween was a special day because the boundaries between dimensions blurred, amplifying the element of magic to such an extent that even those who had not studied witchcraft could yield it.

The tradition had begun with the town’s original settlers, who had recognized the factuality behind the old Celtic celebrations – meant to ward off ghosts – that birthed the holiday. Gathering every resident together in one place reduced the danger posed by the blur between the spiritual and physical realms. And over time, it had also evolved into a celebration of their scientific progress.

The Forest of Souls as a whole was settled by witches who wanted a safe community in which to study magic. Now, hundreds of years later, bounties more knowledge had been obtained. Magic was recognized as an element just like air or fire. It was intangible and difficult to wield, but it could be done with years of study and practice. Even the outside world knew of its existence without realizing it – physicists often referred to it as dark matter, one of the greatest mysteries of modern science, when all they really needed was an open mind to reach through the dimensions and unlock its complete power.

Now many witches spent Halloween performing spells in the town square in elaborate displays or teaching their unpracticed friends to manipulate it while so much of it was available. It was the most anticipated holiday of the year, and everyone was invited to celebrate.

It was nearing 7:30 in the evening. The festivities officially began at 8:00. Frank had stayed home all day, reading and actually letting himself relax for once. His friends had tried to coax him out of the house to celebrate his birthday, but he’d insisted he was totally okay waiting until that night. Time to recharge was exactly what he needed.

He had only changed out of his pajamas once the sun began to set, putting on the same skeleton hoodie and ripped jeans he’d worn the past four years. Gerard had shown up shortly thereafter, and now he leaned against the kitchen counter as Frank made himself a cup of coffee.

“I remember going to the square one year and watching this guy throw his kid, like, twenty feet in the air,” Gerard said out of the blue.

Frank choked on a laugh. “What?”

“He was unpracticed. A witch taught him a levitating spell and it…escalated quickly.”

Frank chuckled. “Oh my god. Was the kid okay?”

Gerard frowned in concentration as he thought back. “You know, I have no fucking clue. You’d think I’d remember something like that, right? But I guess it _was_ a long time ago.”

“You’re old, dude,” Frank said. “You gotta tell me your secret. You don’t look a day over twenty.”

Gerard smiled. “Lotion.”

“Lotion?”

“Just a fuck ton of lotion.”

Frank giggled into his mug and leaned against the counter beside Gerard. Their arms were pressed together, and the dying light of the sun painted them both red as it shone through the windows.

“Who were you before?” Frank asked. “I mean, I know you now, but I feel like I don’t really _know _you.”

“You mean…just as a person?”

“Yeah. We haven’t sat down and had a normal conversation before. Not that we’ve ever had the chance.”

“Yeah, I know what you mean,” Gerard said. “What do you wanna know?”

Frank shrugged. “Hm, I dunno. What was your life like?”

“Um, well, I was going to art school here. I remember really loving it; it was like I was finally doing something worthwhile and making some real friends. And I wanted to move away to Manhattan after I graduated and try to get my work recognized.” Gerard sighed to himself. “It was simpler, being that person.”

Frank felt a pang of sadness in his chest. “Manhattan, huh? Most people here won’t even leave the Forest.”

Gerard chucked. “Yeah. I had some big dreams.”

“I bet you would’ve made it,” Frank said. He meant it. He just knew.

“Oh, I don’t know about that. Who knows what would’ve happened.” Gerard shifted, relaxing a bit more, leaning into Frank’s touch. “Anyway. I was a fucking nerd, too. I’d invite over my friends to play D&D every Sunday, and Mikey would always beg me to teach him. And I remember wanting to start writing and studying magic and playing the guitar.” He paused. “Oh, and me and my friends started a horror club at the college. Is that still a thing?”

“Are you kidding me? That’s where I met almost all my friends after high school.” Frank had never heard anything about Gerard founding it, and he thought it was oddly fitting. It had become a bit of a staple at the college in recent years. “I’m technically not supposed to go anymore, but Ray sneaks me in whenever they have movie nights.”

Gerard grinned. “Really? That’s cool.”

“Apparently you had some good ideas.”

As they talked a while longer, about their lives and the things they had in common and whatever else came to mind, and Frank realized now more than ever that Gerard had been a whole human being. One he probably would’ve really liked even if they didn’t share their bond.

In that moment, Frank felt a strange sort of sadness for him. It wasn’t sharp and aggressive; rather, it softly ached. His life had been stolen away from him just as he crested the horizon of the future, and yet he was cursed to live on.

“This is weird,” Gerard said. “You’re making me feel like a real person again.”

“Well, you are a real person. You don’t have a body but you’re still-” Frank gestured, figuring out what he was trying to say, “You’re still you.”

He didn’t think he’d said anything profound, but Gerard seemed to find it touching. “That’s really nice.”

Frank looked up at him and watched him curiously. “Yeah?”

“Yeah. When you’re stuck outside of time with no one to care about you, you kind of lose yourself. So…that’s nice to hear.”

“You’re cared about. I promise,” Frank said. “I care about you.”

He knew it wasn’t really an adequate response. He just wanted to get Gerard actual help, because no matter how okay he appeared on the outside, he’d still been through unimaginable trauma. Frank hoped more than anything that they could figure everything out and Gerard could begin recovering without having to worry about the horror he was currently living in, but in the meantime, Frank would provide all the comfort he was able to.

Gerard hummed softly, but he didn’t say anything else. Frank just leaned his head against him, wound one arm around his waist, and Gerard hesitated a moment before he returned the gesture. From there Frank decided to just set his mug aside and hug him tightly, pressing his face against his shoulder. He could’ve stayed there forever, rubbing Gerard’s back with gentle hands, pressing closer until they seemed to meld together.

They stood in comfortable silence for quite a while, like nothing in the world was missing. Frank turned his head to look up at the ghost who was gazing out the window, face obscured by the twilight that followed the setting sun. His body was warm now that he’d been close to Frank for so long and he appeared content. The dim light reflected in his sleepy eyes and his hair hung around his face, corners of his mouth curled up ever so slightly. He looked ethereal, like morning mist in the forest or an artist’s muse.

In the calm, with room to think and a crackling warmth filling his chest, Frank realized that Gerard was really lovely.

But then someone knocked loudly on the door, breaking the fragile quiet and making them both jump. “Open up, motherfucker! You’ve been cooped up in there all day!”

“They’re here,” Frank said ominously.

“Who?” Gerard asked, his eyes slightly wide. He looked down at Frank, close enough that the tips of their noses nearly brushed together, and Frank felt his face warm up. He could make out the tiny freckles dotting the ghost’s face, an endearing detail he hadn’t noticed before.

Frank laughed and reached up to squeeze Gerard’s shoulder, letting him know there was nothing to be afraid of. “Just my friends. They’re mad ‘cause it’s my birthday and we haven’t celebrated yet.”

“It’s your birthday? You didn’t tell me that. I would’ve, like, baked for you or something.”

“You’re too nice. Don’t worry about it.” Frank was reluctant to pull away, and Gerard seemed reluctant to let him go, but he did have to answer the door. “You might wanna invisible-ize yourself. I don’t know who’s all here.”

Gerard giggled. “Invisible-ize?”

Frank grinned back at him. “Oh, shut up. You know what I mean.”

* * *

Twenty minutes later they had all walked to the square, and by now every person in the group had pestered Frank about his decision to wear the same outfit five years in a row.

Frank had missed this – spending time doing normal activities that weren’t related to work. Of course, Ray and Jamia were there, as were Lindsey and Evan and Tucker, and they were supposed to meet Geoff at the Malimug plus whoever else he’d decided to bring with him. For just one night, Frank could forget about the world potentially going up in smoke.

He was vaguely aware that Gerard was around somewhere as well. He wished he could just _be _there, right beside him without having to worry about who noticed. They could go around to all the shops and watch the performances and forget about everything else, enjoy each other’s company and be close and happy, twine their hands together as they walked through the crowded streets. That’d be nice.

In all honesty, Frank wanted that for Gerard just as much as he wanted it for himself. He deserved the happiness and the normalcy. Maybe someday…

He shook his head to dispel his thoughts a bit. He wanted to focus on the present, not get so wrapped up in wishing for things that couldn’t happen.

They’d made it to the thick of the crowd by then, where most of the activity was happening. The roads were lined with makeshift stages set up for musicians, dancers, witches, or whoever else wished to provide entertainment. The sounds of brass instrumentals riding jazzy melodies rang through the air, soon to be replaced with something new. There were vendors selling all sorts of magical trinkets and pastries wrapped in brown paper and whatever else one might imagine, and people took turns wielding (or attempting to wield) the magic hanging in the air.

They all slipped into the Malimug first to buy hot chocolates and slices of cinnamon cake, as per tradition. They found Geoff, who had brought several other people with him, and they all mortified Frank by singing him happy birthday. Fortunately, they were off right afterward to find a performance to watch.

As they walked, Frank took notice of a small crowd of people gathered around a young witch. A spark was forming just above her palm, writhing in midair. No sooner had it grown into a flame than she was hurling it above the heads of the people around her, straight into the air where it spread and split and began to change shape. Frank watched, transfixed, as it became a perfect replica of the celestial sphere, a dome of constellations hanging over the town. It lit up the square and the milling crowds all rumbled in awe.

“Shit, I wanna do that,” said Tucker, who was walking in step with Frank. “Hey, Jamia! Can you teach me to do that?”

Jamia looked over her shoulder and gave him a critical stare. “Do you _want _to burn all your hair off?”

“Don’t you remember what happened last year?” Evan asked.

Tucker rolled his eyes. “Okay, well. Maybe I’ve gotten better since then. We can’t know for sure.”

“I bet I could at least start a fire or something,” Frank said. He rubbed his palms together, feeling energy ignite there like static electricity. He’d tried learning a fire summoning spell last year and had been unsuccessful, but he wondered if he could make it work now.

“Yes, try it!” Tucker said. “I’ll give you…five bucks if you can do it.”

Frank laughed. “Deal.” He rolled his sleeves up and outstretched one hand. “Okay. So…”

“Do you remember how it works?”

“Uh. I’m not sure.” Frank cupped his other hand over his palm and began to concentrate. Summoning an element was sort of like becoming one with it; you had to invite it to be a part of you. Frank imagined warmth and let it spread through his bones. His gaze was fixed on his hand, but he was visualizing fire in his mind, allowing it to flow through his veins. He was so surprised when a spark rose from his palm that he nearly broke the spell.

“Oh,” Tucker said, like he realized he _actually_ had to give up five dollars now, and Frank smiled triumphantly.

A few more sparks appeared before a tiny flame ignited in the air. Frank could feel it in his chest, could feel the magic flowing through his fingertips, and from then on he was able to ride his momentum. The flame grew more and more until it was about the circumference of his palm.

“I did it!” he exclaimed.

“Oh my god, please be careful,” Ray said as soon as he’d turned around to see what was going on.

“Psh, I’ve got it.” Frank stared at his flame and watched it change shape, which seemed perfectly normal at first until it began to warp more drastically.

“Whoa, are you doing that?” Tucker asked.

“I don’t…” Frank wasn’t doing it on purpose, and he was fairly certain this didn’t just happen on its own. But then, when he noticed Gerard’s presence right beside him, he realized that he was the one sculpting the flame. Frank could feel the energy radiating from the ghost’s hand, hovering just above his own.

“You must’ve practiced or something.”

The fire molded into the shape of a perfect daisy blooming with orange petals. Frank smiled and shrugged. “It’s a secret.” Gerard’s hand brushed over his wrist affectionately just before the flame returned to its normal shape, and Frank clenched his fist to snuff it out.

They went around to a few of the stands where food was being sold before heading to the main stage at the center of the square. So far, out of the many attempts made amongst their group, Frank had been the only unpracticed one to summon fire successfully. He felt kind of proud of himself.

He jumped when he felt Gerard’s hand wrap around his arm, sudden and urgent. He made sure no one else was paying attention to him before he concentrated on the ghost’s presence, hoping they could communicate without very many words.

“What?” Frank whispered under his breath.

He felt like Gerard was gesturing somewhere to the right, but it was hard to tell. Frank tried his best to spot anything out of the ordinary, but Gerard eventually gave up and placed his fingertips under his chin with a light touch, gently turning his gaze in the right direction.

Frank noticed someone meandering through the crowd who he’d never seen before, but there was nothing very unusual about that. He recognized most of the people in the square, even if he didn’t know them personally, but unfamiliar faces came from the surrounding towns every year.

“Him?” Frank asked, and Gerard squeezed his arm once in what Frank assumed was a yes.

The stranger in question had attracted a small group of people, all gathered around him and chattering loudly.

“Who is that?” Frank whispered, but before Gerard could find a way to respond, his question was answered by someone else.

A man Frank recognized from around town stepped forward from a section of the crowd, walking over to the stranger with a smile on his face. “Hey, Bert!” he called, loud enough to be heard over the cacophony. “What are you doing here?”

“Oh,” Frank mouthed to himself. Bert. As in Gerard’s old best friend. As in the guy he’d talked on the phone with. Why _was _he here? Judging by the conversation they’d had, he was more than happy to be away from Malimore. Maybe he’d just felt like catching up with his old friends or something.

Frank felt a wave of nostalgia and confusion wash over him as he picked up on Gerard’s emotions. Before he could ask if he was okay, Ray was calling him to the stage. He hurried over and Gerard followed after him, linking their elbows together.

“Where’d you go?” Ray asked once Frank had caught up to the group.

“Uh… I’ll tell you later.”

Fortunately, Ray nodded in understanding, and Frank turned his attention to the stage where a solitary witch stood, leaning on his elbows against a table. There was an object resting on top of it, obscured from view by a swath of velvet.

Lindsey popped up at Frank’s side a few seconds later. “Hey,” she said.

“Hi,” Frank said with a wave. “Any idea what this guy’s gonna do?”

“No clue, but I’m excited to find out. I’ve seen him perform before and he’s incredible at what he does.” She paused for a moment, like she was thinking, before she leaned closer and spoke in a low voice. “Gerard’s here?”

“Yep.” Frank noticed the ghost’s arm was still twined with his. He couldn’t help but smile. “I drag him along with me everywhere now.”

“I thought that might happen,” Lindsey chuckled. “Just as long as you’re cautious, I don’t think it’s a bad thing. I can imagine you both feel more at peace.”

Before Frank could respond, a hush came over the crowd, and his attention fell on the witch who had pulled the velvet away from the unknown object. It turned out to be a crystal ball resting atop an oak base set with rubies, reflecting the light of the square and the fiery dome of constellations that still burned overhead.

He regarded his audience with a nod, a shy smile stretching across his face. Dark swirls were tattooed on his skin, covering his neck and framing his face. There were geometric symbols inked into his knuckles and charms hanging from silver chains around his neck and his wrists.

His hands hovered above the crystal ball, eyes narrowed in unbreakable focus. And ever so gradually, like he was painting each detail on at a time, the transparent sphere became a perfect replica of the earth. The orange lights of civilization spread across half its surface, and the other half was bathed in sunlight. Storm clouds swirled above, and the ocean was such a vivid blue that it looked ready to spill over onto the table.

Once the witch was satisfied with his work, he began suspending galaxies in the space above the crystal ball, pulling them out of thin air as his audience watched transfixed. He twirled them around his fingers to set them into motion before fixing them into place.

“That’s beautiful,” Lindsey whispered.

Frank couldn’t help but agree as the witch set to work creating constellations next, drawing thin blue lines to connect the stars, and forming asteroids and other planets that spread out on either side of the earth. It was a perfect replica of the solar system. He had just begun shaping the moon when blue sparks flew across the surface of the crystal ball.

“What was that?” Frank asked.

“I’m not sure.”

Frank paid attention as more of the sparks popped up. And slowly, a fractal of light appeared in one area on the crystal’s surface. It outshone the miniature lights of Los Angeles and reflected against the waves of the Pacific.

The witch didn’t seem to notice. He must’ve been too busy with his other tasks, or maybe this was all supposed to happen.

A few moments later, the light shone so brightly that it hurt to look at. Frank shivered as cold infiltrated his bones. It reminded him of what he’d experienced at Laura’s house two nights ago, and he didn’t like it one bit.

Then there was a splintering noise, so sudden it made Frank jump. He watched with wide eyes as cracks began forming along the surface of the crystal ball, light pouring from each of them, glowing brighter and brighter with every second that passed.

The witch whirled around in surprise. All of the stars and planets he had created fell to the ground and dissipated on impact. He gasped and went to place his hands against the shattering object, but immediately pulled them away with a noise of shock.

The light was so harsh Frank was forced to close his eyes. As soon as he did, he heard the crystal ball explode with a resounding pop.

Noise rose up from the crowd right away. It was clear several people at the front had been hurt by the explosion. The witch himself stood on the stage, eyes round with shock, skin bloodied by shards of glass. They stuck out of his arms and face and glittered in the light of the streetlamps, and he swayed precariously on his feet as he fought to remain conscious. Someone was yelling that he needed to be taken to the hospital. Frank became sick to his stomach and had to look away.

Ray, who stood on the other side of him, placed his hand on Frank’s shoulder like he needed to steady himself as well. “What the hell?” he breathed.

Jamia had pushed her way through the mob of people until she made it to Lindsey’s side. Frank noticed her face was drained of color. “Don’t tell me that’s what I think it was.”

Lindsey turned to her and nodded hesitantly. “All of you, come with me,” she said before she began weaving through the crowd.

Frank was too confused to try and argue. He looked to Ray worriedly before they both began following after her, and eventually, they’d made it to the edge of the square.

“Is-is he gonna be okay?” Frank stammered out.

“We can’t worry about that now.” Lindsey stopped walking once they were around a corner and mostly out of sight. “Something terrible is happening as we speak.”

“Wha…what is it?”

“That spell was meant to show the earth as it is, like watching from a satellite,” Lindsey said.

Jamia sighed and pressed a hand to her forehead, her fears confirmed. “Oh god.”

Frank slowly began to understand. “You don’t think…?”

Lindsey nodded. “We just saw the Fault.”

Frank had told Jamia and Lindsey about his theory a couple of weeks ago. They’d seemed just as skeptical as Ray had, but now they were obviously convinced.

“It makes so much sense,” Lindsey said. “The boundaries between worlds blur continually this time of year, and tonight they’re at their weakest. Channeling any kind of magic would run the risk of tapping into the Fault’s energy.” She sighed and looked up at the sky. “And I can almost feel it. It’s like…this cold, empty feeling, like it’s eating away at the universe.”

“Like negative energy?” Ray asked.

“You could say so.”

“So, we investigated this lady’s house the other day,” he said. “She called because she kept seeing these blue lights through her windows that made everything cold, and every single clairvoyant she’s had over there described the energy like that – like a lack of something.”

The pieces started to fit together inside Frank’s mind. Malimore was the southernmost town in the Forest of Souls. Laura’s property was even further south than that. Geographically speaking, she’d be nearer to the Fault than anyone else. And if the disturbances had started around the time the boundaries between dimensions began deteriorating…

“Do you think it came from the Fault?” Lindsey asked.

Ray nodded. “Maybe. Probably.”

She sighed heavily and began pacing around, thinking hard. “God, what do we do? What if tonight is the catalyst?”

Frank’s heart beat ten times faster. Everything suddenly felt all too real. He took a deep breath, ran a hand through his hair, and looked around as he tried to clear his mind of the stress that was clouding it.

Lindsey didn’t say anything for a while. She just walked back and forth and thought. “Maybe I could…I could try to find it. I could see whether or not it’s about to split. But I would need to read someone who’s had some sort of contact with it.”

Ray looked at Frank pointedly, and he suddenly remembered the burn of the blue light when he’d slept outside. “Wait, I have,” he said.

“When did you…?” Lindsey asked, looking seriously concerned.

“I mean, I was outside in the light during our investigation. I’m not sure if that’s enough.”

“As long as it actually came from the Fault, it should be,” Lindsey said. “We can’t stay here, though. My house is a couple of blocks away if you want to go there.”

Everyone murmured in agreement. They were all anxious to figure out what was going on.

Lindsey nodded. “Okay. Let’s go.”

They walked together through an alleyway, away from the clamoring sea of people. Frank realized, with a nauseating wave of anxiety, that he could no longer feel Gerard there with him.

* * *

The four of them made it to Lindsey’s house in silence. The feeling of being out of control, of having no idea what to do or how much time they had left to figure it out, was absolutely excruciating.

They sat around a table on the back porch now. The patio was decorated with potted plants and stained glass and windchimes, and it would’ve been calming had it not been for the circumstances. Lindsey had lit a few candles and it all felt eerily similar to the séance in the woods, but Frank chose to trust her.

She took a deep breath and outstretched her hands. “I’m ready.”

Frank placed his hands delicately on top of hers. “Do we need to do anything?”

“No, this is just fine.” She closed her eyes and Frank chose to do the same.

There was nothing to break the silence that fell, not even a gust of wind. Frank’s heart pounded noisily in his chest. He concentrated on the colors floating behind his eyelids, felt Lindsey hold his hands tighter as she searched for anything that could help her.

And then Frank realized that he was somehow beginning to see what she saw.

Because he wasn’t clairvoyant, it was indecipherable to him, similar to reading a foreign language. It was just a bunch of colors and odd sensations. But then everything went completely dark, darker than anything Frank had ever seen, and it reminded him of the empty place he’d traveled to in his dreams.

An image began to appear a few moments later, like pieces of a puzzle falling together. There was the feeling of cold electricity on his skin, blinding light, and an ominous roaring sound. Frank could sense that some part of him was detached from his physical body. He slowly opened his eyes, and when he looked downwards, he could see it – a blue canyon in the middle of the void, exuding so much power it was almost incomprehensible to his human brain. He gasped out in terror and turned around, sparing himself the sight of space and time collapsing, only to find three figures standing a few feet away from him.

Frank clasped his hand over his mouth. His body was rapidly freezing up with fear. Two of the figures were clad in dark robes, and as he thought back to the hooded vampire he’d seen in the woods, he suddenly felt lightheaded. The third figure, however, was smaller than the other two and wearing regular clothes. It didn’t take Frank long to realize that it was Gerard.

He didn’t understand how or why they were here with him. One of the vampires was speaking in a raised voice but their words were indiscernibly muffled. When the other looked in Frank’s direction and stared right through him, he realized they couldn’t actually see him. Or at least he really hoped they couldn’t.

Gerard, on the other hand, looked just about ready to melt into the ground. He wrapped his arms around his body as he was shouted at. Protective anger surged up in Frank’s chest and he rushed forward before he could stop himself, but no matter how far he ran he could never get any closer. He choked on a sob of desperation, heart in his throat, and finally resolved to look away. He didn’t want to see the rest.

A moment later, the feeling of Lindsey’s hands squeezing his own pulled him out of the void and brought him back to reality. He was in touch with his physical body again. Unfortunately, he felt like he was moments away from a full-blown panic attack.

“You’ve reached out to it already,” Lindsey said into the silence. “It’s touched all of you.”

Frank’s head swam with confusion. He had no idea what that was supposed to mean, and he really didn’t like the sound of it.

But suddenly, he was tumbling back inside his head again. All sensation was lost before he found himself sitting on an uneven surface, two hands holding each of his. His eyes were shut, but he could see five candles alight with blue fire.

It all began to make sense. Frank realized, with startling clarity, that he was seeing for himself what had happened the night of the séance. He was going to relive everything he’d forgotten. After the orange flames had turned to blue, something had gone terribly wrong.

There was a distant buzzing in his ears that drew nearer and nearer, increasing in volume and filling his skull. It rattled every corner of the universe and the flames grew colder still. Chills traveled across his skin and suddenly there was this creeping paranoia infiltrating his brain matter, like eyes watching him from every angle, their gazes reaching across distant worlds and pinpointing him as he sat alone inside his mind.

An abrupt headache struck him in the space between his eyes. He felt as if he were covered in frost that burned and reddened his skin. As the pain settled in his joints he knew – he wasn’t supposed to be here; this was not his place.

The buzzing grew so loud it was deafening. The tension climbed exponentially.

And then, when Frank was sure his bones would collapse beneath the weight, he felt one of the hands he was holding twitch against his own. He was back in the forest two nights ago.

“Hello?” Jamia whispered.

The hand twitched again. Frank realized it was Gerard’s.

“Passing by?” Jamia asked. Frank could hear her shift to lean further into their circle. “Somewhere in the air, up and to the left.”

He felt Gerard trembling. Something in his brain told his heart to beat faster but it refused. He was numb.

“Dragging something heavy,” Jamia continued, “like a piece of the universe.”

“Is someone here?” Ray asked.

“Yes, but not because of us,” Jamia said. “They were here anyway, passing through. Lost. And it’s horrible.”

Those words triggered some sort of chain reaction. Frank slipped back inside his mind, and now he could _hear_ them. Whereas before he’d felt them all watching him, he could hear their footsteps now, and his gut wrenched violently as he felt a fraction of their pain – the feeling of wandering with nowhere to go. Trapped. Tortured. Hundreds of captive souls, all losing their minds collectively. Some of them were mangled, bodies twisted into horrible, unnatural shapes. There were limbs missing and bones broken and features mauled.

There was blood in Frank’s throat, pouring out of his mouth, and every atom in his body felt horribly violated. His ankles were chained to the dimensions themselves. And there was that wailing sound in his ears, the one he could remember hearing played back from Ray’s recorder, except it was unspeakably terrible in person. He felt like he was staring death in the face. He couldn’t breathe.

“Oh god,” Jamia whispered. “No. I can’t do it.” She sounded so serene that it was disturbing. Frank swore he could hear her trembling and yet they all seemed to have fallen into some sort of trance.

The tension rose and Frank could feel his heart winding up to explode. It ached within his chest like it was being crushed by an impossible weight. He sat frozen and dazed until Gerard ripped his hands away from the circle, and the connection was broken.

Jamia took in a ragged gasp and struggled to get her bearings for a few seconds before she blew out the candles, plunging them into darkness, and collapsed against Gerard’s side.

“It’s okay, it’s okay,” Gerard said over and over. As Frank’s eyes adjusted to the dark he could see him helping her sit back up again.

A haze began to fall over his mind. He tried to fight it, but it was far too powerful. It felt like he was being dragged towards sleep.

Part of him couldn’t remember what he’d been so upset about anymore, but the portion of his mind still connected to the present was utterly disturbed. He sat there in the forest, watching the scene play out before him until Lindsey pulled her hands away and brought him back to reality.

The blood had drained from her face. She stared at Frank with terrified eyes.

“I remember,” Ray said.

Jamia nodded. Ray hadn’t needed to say what he meant; apparently everyone had seen the same horror Frank had. He swore he could still hear the anguished wails of the spirits around him, screaming for help or mercy or anything but the hell they were submerged in. He fought the urge to cover his ears.

“Can you hear them too?” Jamia asked.

“Yes,” Frank answered.

“We all can.” Lindsey’s voice was shaking. “We broke through to them.”

“It’ll go away eventually, right?” Ray asked.

“Yes, in a few moments. The boundaries will reform themselves.”

Frank sighed. “Well, what do we do now?”

Lindsey shook her head. “I don’t know. We don’t have much time left… The Fault is almost ready.”

They sat in a horrible, defeated silence. If the Fault split, their fate would be worse than death. At least if they were killed, Frank knew he could be with the people he loved in the afterlife. Gerard would be free, as would all the other trapped souls, and they would be safe from harm forever. But instead, every soul on earth was about to be at the mercy of heartless creatures who wanted nothing more than to make them suffer. And unless the vampires chose to put them out of existence entirely, the torment would never end.

Suddenly there was a loud noise, like a ragged gasp for air, that startled the four of them. Frank turned to look over his shoulder and was shocked to find Gerard had appeared just a few feet behind him, lying in a heap on the ground. He had actually made it back.

Frank immediately jumped up and rushed to kneel at his side. He wasn’t sure whether to feel worried or relieved as he remembered the awful display he’d seen in the void. He hoped the situation hadn’t escalated any further than shouting.

“Gerard?” Frank said, voice timid.

The ghost turned around and looked up at him with wide eyes. He didn’t appear physically hurt, at the very least, but he was afraid. His lower lip trembled, his brows drew together, and in one motion he reached up to wrap his arms tightly around Frank’s shoulders. He was breathing heavily like he was trying not to cry.

Frank gently pulled him off the ground by his waist, his heart crumbling in response to seeing him this way. Everyone else gathered around the two of them, murmuring worriedly, and Gerard tugged Frank insistently against his chest, holding him like he was about to slip away.

“It’s okay,” Frank whispered. His hands made their way to the back of Gerard’s head where they wound into his hair. Gerard hid his face in the crook of Frank’s neck, and Frank could feel his tears against his skin. “I’m right here. I’m not gonna let you go.”

“It’s bad,” Gerard said. “It’s really bad.”

Frank nodded and held him closer. Unfortunately, he knew exactly what he was talking about.

“Frank…I think there’s only one way to stop it.” Gerard’s voice shook, and his hands clutched at the back of Frank’s shirt, and he let out a sigh that was wrought with sheer terror. “I think we have to kill Thaddaeus.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> {Joy Division - Shadowplay}
> 
> Kind of off topic but Paradise Lost by The Used fucking slaps, also it fits this fic so perfectly and I'm here for it.
> 
> Thanks for reading!


	17. Exit Music (For a Film)

_“Breathe, keep breathing / Don’t lose your nerve.”_

* * *

** _10.31.1985_ **

“Okay, but when you say there won’t be a lot of people there, what does that _mean_? What’s your standard?”

Bert gives me a look that tells me I’m worrying too much. Or at least he thinks I am, but I feel like my concerns are totally justified. “Gee.”

“I feel like your idea of not a lot of people is very different from my idea of not a lot of people.”

“I don’t know, I mean. It’s not like we invited the whole student body or anything.” Bert shrugs. “Don’t worry about it. It’s gonna be a good time.”

I cross my arms, unconvinced. “What if I don’t know anybody else there?”

“You will,” Bert says. “But you know, I’m not gonna just run off and leave you. You can stick with me if you want.”

I sigh. “Okay…”

The thing is, spending the night crammed into a dorm room with a bunch of friends, blazed and listening to old cassette tapes and laughing at anything that moves, is factually a hell of a good time. But getting fucked up in a house full of _strangers_, even though I can see the appeal for other people, just isn’t my thing. Strangers are already nerve-wracking enough in everyday situations. But I told Bert weeks ago that I’d go to this party with him and there’s no way he’s going to let me back out of it now.

“Maybe you could even get out of your shell a bit,” he says. “Wreak some havoc, try and meet someone…”

“I’ll leave ‘meeting someone’ up to you. You got more options that way.”

Bert sits down beside me on his bed, swinging his car keys around his finger. “That’s awfully considerate of you.”

“I know, right?” I smile and nudge his shoulder. “Time to go?”

“I’m ready if you are,” he says. “Well, maybe I shouldn’t leave it up to you.”

I roll my eyes and reluctantly haul myself to my feet. “You’d better be glad I like you so much, or you’d be going by yourself.”

“And you’d be fuckin’ trick-or-treating with Mikey or something. C’mon, it’s gonna be fun.”

I follow him out of his dorm and wait for him to lock the door. More nerves settle in the pit of my stomach, but I know this is probably good for me. Because Bert has a point – I really should stick it to my anxiety from time to time. “That doesn’t sound so bad, actually.”

He just laughs and shakes his head. “You’ll thank me for getting you out, Gee. I promise.”

* * *

A few hours later I realize it hasn’t been nearly as bad as I thought it would be.

Everyone’s piled into the old mansion by the Woods. This place is cool as shit, gives you the creeps in the best kind of way even when it’s full of people and alive with orange lights and music. When you have magic, as long as it’s only for a short span of time, there’s no need for electricity. Even in run-down buildings.

A few of my other friends showed up shortly after Bert and I did, and half of everyone else I realized I at least know from my classes, which soothes my nerves a bit.

But now, finally, things are starting to wind down. We’re getting ready to leave; I’m just waiting for Bert to finish saying his goodbyes.

Once he’s done, he comes up from behind me and slings his arm around my shoulders, snapping a polaroid of the two of us, and I groan.

“I wasn’t ready,” I complain over the noise.

“Whatever. You always say that.” His voice is more slurred than it was a little while ago. He grabs the photo from his camera and blinks at it for a bit, as if telepathically willing it to develop, before passing it to me.

I slip the photo into my back pocket and grin, a little dizzy with insides that are pleasantly warm and weighted, before I yawn against the back of my hand. “I’m sleepy.”

“You ready to head out?” he asks.

“Yeah, if you are,” I say through a second yawn. “You know, I think I’m getting too old for this.”

He snorts and shakes his head at me, then searches his pockets before a mildly panicked look comes over his face. “Shit, I have to find my keys.”

I point to the lanyard hanging around his neck. “Bert.”

“Oh.” He giggles and pulls it over his head. I immediately snatch the keys away from him.

“No way I’m letting you drive.”

He pouts at me. “Yeah, because _you’re_ sober.”

“I’m just saying of the two of us, I’m the obvious choice.”

We push our way past several people and head out the door. Bert’s able to walk, sort of, but I still steady him with my hand on his shoulder to be safe. He could be a lot worse off, but he’s woozy _and _easily distractible, and I’m just ready to leave.

To my surprise, there’s no one hanging around out front right now. I’m not sure what time it is but the night is quiet and serene, the moon shining brightly above casting the earth in a white glow.

I look off into the forest looming several yards away, the one where evil is rumored to lurk. So many of the older people living in our town would be scared to go anywhere near it, but I’m not so sure I buy into their fear. It’s just a bunch of trees.

I stop in my tracks when something catches my eye. Something out of place at the edge of the forest, something that makes me uncomfortable before my brain even registers what it is.

My mind is groggy and struggles to catch up, but eventually, I come to the conclusion that I’m looking at a silhouette. I know it’s not a ghost because they’re always invisible, but it’s unnaturally large for a human being. I squint into the dim light and try to force my eyes to focus a bit more.

“Gerard?” Bert stands beside me, confused.

“Do you see that?” I ask. I point to the silhouette that’s definitely still lingering there, clear as day even in the darkness. I blink a few times to see if it’ll disappear, but it remains as if it’s just standing and watching us. I feel my skin begin to crawl with goosebumps.

“I don’t know what the fuck you’re talking about,” Bert says, laughing a bit. “Are you sure you can drive?”

“Yeah, I’m fine…” I’m pretty damn sure whatever I’m seeing is really there. There’s no way my eyes are tricking me when it’s _that _obvious. I try to rationalize it, telling myself it’s a weirdly shaped tree or another partygoer trying to scare us, but the figure is so towering and distinct that I don’t understand how it could be either one of those things.

A few seconds later, someone starts one of the cars parked out front. They turn on their headlights and begin to pull away, and as they do, the light shines on the dark silhouette. In the short time that it’s illuminated, I see a flash of paper-white skin and hollow features, all shrouded by dark fabric, and I feel my heart fly into my throat. Then the light is gone, and the creature has completely vanished by the time my eyes have adjusted to the dark again.

“Okay,” I say in a small voice, surprising to my own ears. “I wanna go.”

“Um, okay?” Bert says.

He gives me a look as he follows me down the overgrown walkway to where his truck sits idle. I climb in and start up the engine quickly. Chills cover my skin and I feel like some instinctual part of me is screaming to get away, so I shift into gear and begin to drive, heart pounding.

“Dude, what’s up with you?” Bert asks. “What did you see?”

I shake my head. “I-I thought I saw something standing in the Woods. But it was probably nothing.”

“Like a person?”

“I don’t really know.” I turn onto the dirt road that leads back into town, doing my very best to focus in spite of my lightheadedness. I really shouldn’t be driving; now this whole situation feels nerve-wracking in more ways than one. “It’s still cool if I stay with you, right?”

“Mhm, yeah.” Bert’s roommate is out of town for the weekend and now I’m kind of grateful. For whatever reason, the idea of going back home after seeing whatever that was makes me feel even more uneasy.

I’m probably overreacting. Maybe the alcohol in my system is getting to me more than I thought. But I’ve witnessed some genuinely scary shit living here, and none of it has made me feel like _that_. That felt like…I don’t even want to let myself think about it. It was something like the worst kind of dread I’ve ever experienced.

Bert looks over at me again. “Are you sure you’re okay, man?”

I clear my throat and force all my anxious thoughts to the back of my mind. “It was nothing, swear. I’ll be fine.”

** _10.31.2003_ **

I’m sitting in Lindsey’s living room, huddled against myself as everyone else talks. Part of me is glad they aren’t making me join in the conversation, and part of me really wishes they would.

Most of the time I’m able to keep all the shit that’s happened to me confined somewhere deep inside my mind. Whenever I’m distracted enough, it’s like I can forget about it altogether. But sometimes things happen that set my mind off, and it all starts playing behind my eyes like a movie reel. It’s so difficult to stop thinking and obsessing and perpetuating.

A series of gory images flash through my mind now. Some of them don’t even have to do with me, they’re just things I’ve witnessed happening to other souls. It’s been a long time since I was treated that harshly. Maybe I’ve really won Thaddaeus’s favor, which is…bad and good. An evil creature taking a liking to you in and of itself isn’t exactly pleasant. Actually, it’s fucking creepy. But maybe I’ve also become numb to His cruelty, to some extent.

Tonight, luckily, I was able to sneak away before things escalated beyond being chewed out and interrogated, but I’m afraid of what they’ll do to me when I get back. I don’t want them to hurt me like they used to. I don’t want them to completely break my body knowing I’ll just have to take it. Death isn’t an escape for me. They can piece my form back together just as easily as they can tear it apart, and they could drag it out for days if they were angry enough. But then, if they were that angry, I don’t think I would be back here at all right now.

I just sit and half-listen, half-ruminate. I’d rather be here than literally anywhere else. I’m not going to say being around Frank magically fixes everything because it most certainly doesn’t. I don’t even _want_ him to magically fix everything. After being codependent on Thaddaeus for so long, I know that wouldn’t be healthy, as nice as the initial thought may seem. But Frank is comforting and safe, and so are his friends, in a sort of different way. I wish I could just be one of them. I want to get to know them all better. I wish I didn’t have to worry about everything else. And then there’s the fact that I’m kind of…dead. Just because ghosts are normal in Malimore doesn’t mean spending time with one is.

Graphic imagery invades my thoughts again and I feel fear well up in my chest. This time, it’s a specific snapshot in time. I can see my own grotesquely contorted body like it’s right in front of me, limbs twisted in impossible directions and skin and muscle and bones missing, ripped away. It was a punishment for an act I’ve long forgotten, but I can still remember exactly how it felt.

No human mind should have to take on the burden of processing that kind of disfigurement, of having your own mangled form fetishized by sadistic creatures who bathe in innocent blood. I genuinely think the only reason I went all those years, brutally tortured day after day, without going insane, is because I no longer possess a physical body. I think that makes some sort of monumental difference. My mind doesn’t work the same way it did when I was alive.

I don’t realize that in reality, I’m raking my fingernails hard against the palms of my hands. It’s a bad nervous habit I picked up a long time ago. But Frank notices for me, and he takes my hands in his to get me to stop, and I finally register the way my skin stings.

He doesn’t say anything. He looks me in the eye, clearly concerned. I know he doesn’t understand what’s going on inside my head. He doesn’t understand how bad it is because he can’t, and I don’t ever want him to. He’s been through his own share of trauma as it is.

I stare back at him and while the movie reel still plays inside my mind, it doesn’t feel as daunting as it did when it was all I was focused on. Maybe it’s because he’s bonded so closely to me or maybe it’s because he’s just a nice person to be around. Maybe it’s a combination of both. His eyes are like a focal point and they’re all gentle and warm, and for fuck’s sake, I can’t sit here and try to cope with this on my own anymore. I lean forward against him because I really just want him to hold me.

A moment later his arms wrap gently around my waist. He’s so warm, like a place to hide. I already feel safer, crumpling against his chest and resting my chin on his shoulder, winding my arms around him in return. I could never put into words how it feels to be close to your companion soul, but it’s something like peace coursing through your veins. The sweetest, most natural euphoria.

“I’ve got you,” Frank murmurs. I feel his breath against my cheek.

I nod because I really trust him.

“Would it be okay if you told us what happened?” he asks.

I don’t want to talk about it, but I really should. They need to know. They need to be able to come up with a plan if that’s at all possible anymore.

“Yes,” I whisper.

“Okay. Whenever you’re ready.”

I notice everyone else has gone quiet. It doesn’t make me uncomfortable. I think they all understand as much as they’re able to right now, and I’m starting to trust them too.

I pull away a bit so I can be heard, but I still remain tucked under one of Frank’s arms.

I wonder…what if we just stayed like this forever and I never had to go back?

“Well, I could sort of…feel that something was off earlier,” I start, referencing when things had begun to go wrong in the square. I’d felt it in my gut. “When that witch was casting those spells, I knew I needed to get back or they’d find out where I’d gone. So, I went.”

“To where the vampires are?” Lindsey asks.

I nod. “It’s this whole other dimension. It’s sort of parallel to yours. Anyways, when I go back I usually know where I’m gonna end up. Like, I don’t just appear in a random place. Except this time, I showed up someplace I didn’t mean to, and I ended up overhearing this conversation.”

My breathing starts to go all shuddery as I remember how terrifying it had been. Intruding in one of the private corners of their dimension was an honest mistake, but that doesn’t matter. Any mistake, no matter how innocent, is punishable in their eyes.

I’d been frozen, unable to run away, as I listened to a group of them talk, and thank god Thaddaeus hadn’t been there. If He had I wouldn’t have just been screamed at and let go. It would’ve been so much worse. But I’m sure His minions all ran off and told Him about what I’d done as soon as I got away.

Frank rubs my shoulder and I realize I stopped talking. I’m staring blankly at my shoes. I wonder if I look as traumatized as I feel.

Probably.

He just looks at me, but it’s not like he’s pressuring me to keep going. It’s just like he’s reminding me he’s there. I look back at him and something swells in my chest and I don’t know, I just want to catch him up in an embrace and never let go again. But now I need to finish my story.

“Some vampires were talking about the Fault,” I continue, speaking slowly. “They were…I don’t know. They…I think they only need one more soul.”

There’s a moment of silence.

“Before it splits?” Lindsey asks.

My breath stutters. “Yes.”

Frank looks at Ray and they’re communicating something without words, something serious that I can’t understand.

“There were a lot of things they said.” I bring my hands up to rub at my eyes. “Something about Thaddaeus being the source.”

“He’s like their leader, right?” asks Jamia this time. There’s an angry undercurrent to her voice, but I can tell it’s not directed at me. Maybe she’s upset they scared me this bad.

“Mhm. He was the first one, I guess. He’s the reason the rest of them even exist.”

After I say that, she looks like she’s thinking about it, like she’s just made some sort of connection. I try to remember if I’ve told any of them He was the first vampire. Surely I have… That’s kind of important, right?

“Well, apparently He’s the source, or at least that’s what it sounded like,” I continue. “The Fault only exists because He does.”

“So, if we kill Him, we close the Fault,” Frank says.

“Yeah, I think so.” I suddenly feel very tired, like I haven’t slept in weeks. Thinking about all of this is exhausting and Frank is right beside me, safe and warm and I feel like I could just pass out.

“Hold on. Thaddaeus was the first vampire?” Jamia asks. “I didn’t know this.”

“Neither did I,” Lindsey says. “That means there could be some documentation of Him somewhere. We could probably use it to help us find a way to stop Him.”

“Would we kill Him how we’d kill any other vampire?” Ray asks. “Do the same rules apply to Him?”

“I would think so,” Lindsey says. “I don’t know. We should start our research as soon as we can.”

There are only a few known ways to kill a vampire, and they’re all incredibly difficult to do successfully. The entire time they’ve held me captive, I’ve only known of one or two who have been killed. They’re created much, much faster than they’re destroyed.

“And Gerard said they only need one more soul…” Ray says. “I don’t think we have very much time left.”

“We need to come up with a plan as soon as possible, definitely,” Lindsey says. “But I’m going to assume they’ll wait a little while. With the energy of the Fault as potent as it is right now, they wouldn’t want to draw any attention to themselves.”

“Would it even matter if this is the last bond they need?” Frank asks.

Lindsey goes quiet and looks down at the floor. “Well… Maybe not, I suppose.”

I don’t think I realized how much I really, really care about everyone in this room and everyone beyond it until now. No one on the face of this earth deserves to suffer like I have. But especially not these people, who have chosen to be kind to me and have brought me a glimmer of happiness for the first time in years.

I huddle further under Frank’s arm. I want to disappear.

“I have an idea,” Frank says.

We all look to him expectantly. I already don’t like the expression he’s wearing and how pale his face has gone. I know what dread looks like and it’s painted all across him right now, weighing down on his features.

“What is it?” Ray asks, nervous.

“I could postpone it. So that you all have more time to figure it out.”

Everyone waits for him to elaborate. It takes him a moment before he does.

“I mean, if…if I died.”

There’s a beat of horribly charged silence before everyone begins speaking at the same time.

None of us want that for him and we all have our own reasons.

Frank stares down at his lap and looks like he’s already decided he’s going to die, like he’s just trying to accept it. And well, that’s _not _going to happen. Not on my watch.

“I’m not about to let you _die_, are you fucking kidding me?” Ray says. “We’re going to figure something else out.”

“What if I had to? As a last resort?”

Ray shakes his head. “We won’t need that. We’ll be fine.”

Frank doesn’t say anything else, but I can see him thinking hard. Now more than ever, he needs to know it’s not his sole responsibility to make everything okay. That would be impossible for anyone.

A little while later, the conversation shifts and they start talking logistics. Throwing a variety of skeletal plans out into the open and just discussing. There’s a general air of stress and it’s starting to drive me insane, and all I can do is focus on Frank and try not to have some sort of meltdown.

“We can seriously figure this out if we all work together,” Jamia says. “We all know what we’re doing, to some extent. Things will be okay.”

I can’t tell how much she actually believes that and how much she’s just trying to coax herself, and everyone else, into feeling better about the situation.

I’m too caught up in my own worrying to notice how many hours pass by. But eventually, Ray points out it’s midnight, and if we were all still celebrating in the square that wouldn’t have felt very late at all, but we’ve been talking nonstop about the end of the world as we know it. Every single person in this room is exhausted, emotionally and physically, and not to mention genuinely terrified.

Frank hasn’t said more than a few words in the last half hour and I’m starting to really worry about him. If anything happened to him that would fucking kill me, and I would feel at least somewhat responsible.

“I should probably go,” he says, voice quiet. “Maybe we can all meet somewhere tomorrow.”

“I’m working the afternoon shift at the library,” Lindsey says. “You’re welcome to come by.”

They decide on a time to meet and it’s noticeably tense. Saying goodbye now, when everyone’s so scared, doesn’t feel right at all.

Frank gives me a sad sort of smile before he gets to his feet. He goes to hug Ray and my heart hurts. I just want him to be able to spend all the time he can with the people he cares about. I don’t want them to lose one another if they don’t have to.

He’s walking out the front door a few minutes later, making his way down the sidewalk with his hands shoved in his pockets. I hurry after him and settle at his side.

“I can go, if you want,” I offer. Maybe he needs some time alone.

I guess I was expecting him to want that because I’m surprised when he turns to me and takes my hand. “No, that’s okay. Please stay.”

I think about Thaddaeus, who’ll definitely be wanting me back at some point, and how much I just don’t want to see Him ever again. I think about how I probably have two hours tops before He comes looking for me and all hell breaks loose.

Two hours. That’s the amount of time I’m going to give myself. I have to make sure Frank’s going to be okay.

* * *

As soon as we get back to his house and he locks the door behind us, he presses his face against my chest and cries silent tears.

I’m struck with the realization that I don’t know what to do. I hate not knowing how to make him feel better, but how could I possibly make _anyone _feel better in this kind of situation? Is feeling better even realistic at all?

“It’s just so much,” he whispers, hardly intelligible.

I’m at a loss for what to say.

“It’s not even just this. Something happened and I-I remembered everything I forgot during the séance.” He sniffles and he’s shaking just ever so slightly. “God, it was terrible. I could…I could feel all the pain they felt. All the souls the vampires have taken, I could _feel _them.”

My heart falls like lead through the floor. I remember the terror I felt that night and it was nearly unbearable for me, as someone who’s become sort of desensitized to that kind of thing. I know, in comparison, that it must be affecting Frank horribly.

“It didn’t really hit me until now, I guess. I…_god_, I can’t even imagine what you’ve all been through. I’m just so sorry. I’m so fucking sorry.”

“Hey, no, it’s okay.” I hug him tight and close my eyes. “It’s okay, Frank. It’s done.”

“But it shouldn’t be. No one should have to feel that fucking horrible all the time. None of you deserve that.”

At least, now that he’s talking about it, he seems a little calmer. He’s getting it out of his system.

“And I just feel like I have to fix it all. I feel like I should sacrifice myself or something, or like I should be the one to kill Him, or I-”

“You’re not going to sacrifice yourself,” I say. “You’re not in this alone. None of this is your fault.”

“I feel like it is. I don’t know.” He lifts his face from my chest and brushes his hair out of his eyes. They’re bloodshot from crying and his nose is red, and it hurts to see him this way.

“You need to get some rest,” I tell him, because he really does.

“I don’t know if I can rest.”

“I understand, but you should at least try. I promise you’ll feel better.” I take his hand and start leading him towards his room. He needs a few hours of sleep, at least.

While he changes clothes, I go to get him a glass of water and a box of tissues. By the time I get back, he’s curled up under all his blankets, looking very small. Far too small to be carrying all this weight on his shoulders.

I place the items on his nightstand and brush away his bangs that have fallen into his eyes again. He blinks up at me.

“Want me to turn off the light?” I ask. He nods, and I click off the lamp illuminating the room so that the only light left is that of the streetlamps filtering in, soft and orange, through his thin curtains.

“Do you have to go?” he asks.

“Not yet,” I say. “Unless you want me to go.”

I see him shake his head in the dark. “Stay.”

“Okay.” I cross my arms over my chest, unsure of what to do. Obviously, I feel like it’d be weird to just stand here.

“You can lie down,” he says. “I don’t mind.”

There’s something in his voice that says it’s much more of a request than a suggestion. I get it – he needs comfort. I understand more than he knows. Really, I need it too.

I shrug off my jacket and toe off my shoes and when he flips back a corner of the blankets on his own, I don’t feel so much like I’m invading his space. That’s something I’m always worried about because I’m well aware of how alarming unwanted closeness can be. But apparently he’s comfortable with me, and something about that means a lot.

I lie down and for a brief moment, I forget about everything happening outside this room. I don’t remember the last time I just laid down in a bed like a normal person.

Frank rolls over on his side so he’s facing me. I keep my eyes on the ceiling, but I can feel his soft gaze on my face. “Is this…okay?”

“What do you mean?”

“You’re not, like, uncomfortable, right?”

“No, not at all.”

I trace the cracks lining the ceiling with my eyes and feel more peaceful, just a bit. For the millionth time, I wish I could just stay here, as long as Frank wanted that as well.

“Do you ever just think about how close we are?” I ask, because it really never fails to inspire awe in me and it’s happening again now. I keep my voice low enough that if Frank is asleep, I won’t wake him.

Frank is not asleep, and he knows exactly what I mean. “Yeah, I do.” I can see him smile without actually looking. “I’m glad it’s you I’m stuck with. I would’ve really liked you anyway.”

That makes me ridiculously happy considering our current circumstances.

“Yeah, same for you.” I turn towards him then. I can just barely make out his eyes in the dark. “Did you…want to talk any more about everything?”

He shakes his head. “Not now. I know you probably can’t stay long, so I kinda just want to enjoy this.” His eyes fall shut. “It’s peaceful, and we’re together. ‘S nice.”

There’s still a wavery edge to his voice that suggests the throbbing feeling remains in his chest, the one you get before you start to cry. He’s still scared and so am I. But right now, in this moment, that doesn’t have to matter.

“It is nice,” I murmur. “I miss sleeping in a bed.”

The corners of his mouth curl up a bit. “C’mere.”

I don’t move. I’m not quite sure what he means.

He sighs. “Okay, fine, I’ll just do it myself,” and pushes himself towards me.

It clicks then. “Oh,” I whisper. And once he’s close enough to reach, I open my arms I pull him into them before I can let myself think of a reason not to.

He shivers at first and I bite back the urge to apologize. I know I am, quite literally, cold as death. I know I make his whole house cold and that’s why he needs the ridiculous number of blankets covering the two of us.

But as time goes on, my body starts to warm. Somehow, it’s one of the most relieving feelings in the whole world. It’s like remembering how it feels to be a person again. Being close to him in general sort of makes me feel like I’m glowing.

His head is just under my chin and he pushes himself more snugly against my chest. One of his arms is slung around my waist and his other hand rests over my heart and he’s tangled our legs together. “Mm. This is nice.”

“It really is.” My arms are looped around him and I draw him closer. He nuzzles into my shirt and suddenly my insides feel fuzzy and I decide he’s fucking adorable.

Adorable?

I mean, yeah. He is. That’s just an objective fact, I think.

“Does it feel better being warm?” he asks in a sleepy voice.

“Yeah. It sort of makes me feel alive again.”

“I see. Glad I could be of service.”

I chuckle. “Maybe…maybe we both warm each other up.”

Jesus _Christ_, that’s so cheesy. Why the hell did I say that?

But Frank doesn’t seem to mind it. Actually, he hums in contemplation or agreement or something, I don’t really know, before he settles against me again.

I really wish I could stay.

“I have to go in a little bit,” I tell him.

“I thought so,” he replies. “That’s okay. You’re here now, that’s what matters.”

I smile, tracing patterns on his back absentmindedly. “I’ll stay as long as I can. If that’ll make you feel better.”

“Aw, you’re sweet. That’d be nice.” His speech has become a little slurred by tiredness. He sounds like he’s moments away from falling asleep, and he lets out a quiet sigh as he presses his face against my chest. “G’night, Gee.”

Even while I was still alive, I don’t think I ever felt this warm.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> {Radiohead - Exit Music (For a Film)}
> 
> All I can say is that I hope you're ready for what's coming next. Let me know your thoughts! If you have any theories as to what's going to happen, I'm curious to hear them. <3
> 
> (I'm sure you all already know, but since it's mentioned in this chapter, I would feel bad not adding a reminder to avoid drinking and driving. Stay safe, friends.)


	18. Day of the Lords

_“I guess you were right when we talked in the heat / There's no room for the weak, no room for the weak.”_

* * *

** _11.01.2003_ ** ** **

When Frank woke up the first time, it felt like only a few minutes had passed. It was still dark and quiet, and his face was still tucked away against Gerard’s chest, effectively blocking out all the light in the room. Frank wondered, through his half-asleep delirium, if Gerard should still be here. He wondered if he’d accidentally drifted off. And, well, Frank certainly didn’t _want _him to leave, but he knew bad things would happen if he didn’t.

He wasn’t awake enough yet to articulate this, but he moved around a bit and tilted his head up to look at Gerard.

Evidently, he hadn’t fallen asleep. He looked back down at Frank and smiled, the pale of his skin illuminated by the dim orange glow in the room. He seemed much more relaxed than he had been before. One of his hands was tangled in Frank’s hair and the other ran along his upper back, and they were close enough now that for half a second, their noses brushed together before they were slotted side by side. It was comforting and it gave Frank the most clichéd butterflies ever, and he blinked up at the ghost with heavy eyelids.

“Do you have to…” he began before cutting himself off with a small yawn. “D’you gotta go?”

“In a minute,” Gerard said. His voice was soft, and his breath escaped his own lips to float across Frank’s.

Frank felt a sudden swell in his chest, something between affection and sympathy and sadness. There was a tangible pull like the air between them was magnetized. He sighed and moved a bit closer and nuzzled just underneath Gerard’s jaw because he was way too tired to think of any reason not to. Gerard hummed and held him tighter and Frank bunched his shirt up in his hands. He’d heard others’ saccharine descriptions of forgetting where you ended and the other person began, and now he realized it was actually a thing that could happen. He was melting pleasantly into the warmth that existed, in more ways than one, between the two of them, itching for something more as well but not quite sure of what it was.

“I’m gonna miss you,” Frank said.

“I’m gonna miss you too.”

“You’ll come back, right?”

“Always.”

Frank smiled, and he wanted to say something else, something important, but he didn’t know how to define it or phrase it in a way that made sense. So instead he just whispered, “That’s a nice word.”

Gerard hummed and the sound rumbled in his chest and his throat. Frank’s eyes had fallen shut. The comfort of the strong arms wrapped around his smaller form was like a lullaby, steadily pulling him towards oblivion, and maybe he never wanted to sleep alone again.

His ghost kissed his forehead with sweet, silky lips just before his conscious mind was swept up in an inky sea.

* * *

When Frank woke up the second time, he felt an absence. Gerard was gone and the room was cold.

He was far more alert this time than he had been before. He knew it would take some time before he could fall back asleep again.

He bundled his duvet between his arms and hugged it to his chest. It was quiet save for the ringing in his ears. He opened his eyes and stared at the opposite wall, and the more he looked, unblinking, the more he wondered what it was that was different. It must’ve been something, but he couldn’t quite put his finger on it.

He sighed and wished someone was there with him. Gerard or Ray or another one of his friends… He wasn’t sure why, but his surroundings felt hollow. It made him deeply unsettled.

He felt physically uncomfortable as well. For some reason, he was feeling achy and dehydrated and overall unwell. He remembered the glass of water Gerard had brought him several hours ago and he rolled over to grab it from his nightstand, and by the time he downed all of it he still wanted more, so he got up and began walking to his kitchen. The hardwood floors creaked below his socked feet, loud in the heavy silence.

For a little while, he sat at his dining table and stared into his living room, out the window on the far wall. The curtains had been left wide open earlier. Frank could see the houses across the street with their darkened windows, and the night sky glittering with stars, and the dim shine of his stove light reflected in the glass. It brought a vivid memory back to him – a snapshot of being very young and sitting in the living room before his parents got up, just because he’d felt like watching the sunrise.

He felt a twinge of sadness that seeped into his bones. He’d worked through much of his grief with professionals and close friends over the span of several years, but of course, he doubted it would ever fade completely. Sometimes the pain returned like the stab of a needle or a punch to the gut. Usually late at night.

Frank realized that if the Fault did split, if he failed entirely, then at least his parents would be safe. It brought him a kind of bittersweet solace.

He walked back to his room, crawled into bed, and laid there in the quiet a while longer, listening to the way the old house would creak around him every now and then. He was feeling nostalgic now and he kind of wanted a hug. It was during times like this that he really wished he had a roommate or something. If for nothing else, then at least for the knowledge that someone else was there.

He noticed that if he went long enough without blinking, blackness would begin to creep in around the edges of his vision. He started seeing shapes in the paint on his wall that looked like eyes and faces and twisted bodies.

He shut his eyes tight and wished for sleep to take him again.

* * *

When Frank woke up the third time, he was lying flat on his back. The room was freezing.

His eyes slipped open slowly like the world was fading in from black. Everything was blurry at first as his mind still wasn’t completely awake. He knew he was looking at his ceiling, but he couldn’t quite comprehend the dark shapes above him, still couldn’t understand why everything looked so desaturated and wrong.

It was still so quiet. He absolutely hated it. He felt like he was somehow the only person in the world.

Frank moved his fingers against his bedsheets, twisting them around. He felt like frost was crawling over his skin and he realized he could see his breath, and even as his eyes began to focus he still didn’t understand what he was seeing. He wanted to pull the covers over his head and go back to sleep, wanted to wake up to the light of morning and get out of his house.

And…wait, he could _actually_ see his breath. It floated into the air above him, just barely visible in the dark. He knew, as his stomach plummeted, that that was not a good thing. There was only one reason that would be happening now.

Suddenly, he was wide awake. What he saw next wasn’t incredibly surprising because he’d been seeing it this entire time, just failing to comprehend it, but he was still viscerally terrified.

There was another human being in the room, or at least that’s what it looked like. He’d been staring directly into her eyes for quite a while. She was right above him, on the ceiling.

Her front was stuck to the plaster, but her head was twisted around backward – a full, gruesome 180 degrees. Her neck and her face were dark purple, stained by blood spilled just below the surface. Her skin had been lacerated in several places. She was wearing an old-fashioned drop-waist dress.

Frank couldn’t move.

He noticed her eyes were gouged out, actually. The sockets were black, empty, bloody voids. Maybe she hadn’t really been watching him at all.

_Sleep paralysis_, Frank thought to himself as he worked to remain calm. He’d experienced it a few times before. He tried wriggling his fingers some more in an effort to wake his body up.

When he realized he actually _could _move, that he wasn’t paralyzed at all, he was naturally led to the conclusion that he wasn’t really dreaming. This was genuinely happening. And then he became slightly terrified.

One of the girl’s arms hung behind her, obviously ripped free of its socket. Her other hand was pressed in a claw-like manner against the ceiling, like she had been raking her nails across it in pain. She wasn’t moving or making any kind of noise. Her mouth hung open far too wide, which meant her jaw must have been dislocated as well.

Then Frank began to feel it. Everything she was feeling, there was an echo of it in his own body. The pace of his breathing picked up, tears stinging the corners of his eyes as the pain became more and more intense. He fought off the urge to writhe around, afraid that it would set something off and she would start to move.

And then out of her mouth came several tiny black dots. They inched across her skin and onto the ceiling, all making their way to the edges of the room so that they could eventually tumble down the walls. Frank stared in horror as more and more of them appeared, realizing from the way they moved that they must be insects of some kind. Not thirty seconds later, there were enough of them to cover her body in a horrendous mound and take up the majority of the space on the ceiling.

The gears in Frank’s mind began turning again and he was tensing his muscles, preparing to run. They were all going to crawl down the walls. He could see it happening in his mind’s eye. They were going to smother him and eat him alive, take his eyes and his brain and his tongue and-

The image of her flickered like TV static, and then she and the writhing sea of black were completely gone.

Frank laid there breathing shakily. Fortunately, her pain had vanished along with her. His joints were overwhelmed by sweet relief and he took a moment to collect himself. It had all been so sudden that he began to wonder if it was somehow a dream after all.

He sat up quickly, just needing to get out of this goddamned room, and then sucked in a breath so harsh that his head spun. Hot adrenaline flew across his skin and he fell totally still.

She was still there. She was standing in the opposite corner of his room, still staring-not-staring with her head turned the wrong direction.

Frank began to move slowly to the edge of his bed, careful not to take his eyes off her. He knew for an absolute fact now that he wasn’t dreaming, and he had no idea whether this spirit was hostile or not.

Then, through her open mouth, came an anguished noise like an ugly sob. It reverberated around the room and everything seemed to grow ten shades darker.

Even though it was one of the most chilling sounds he’d ever heard, Frank ignored it. He continued to move inch by inch. He’d made it far enough now to swing his feet over the edge and plant them against the ground.

She made a rasping, gurgling, shrieking sound like she was screaming in anguish. It sounded like something from the pits of hell itself. That’s when Frank froze up again.

_Please_, came a horrid, damaged voice, but her mouth didn’t move. Her words came from every corner at once. _P-pl-please… Hurts. It’s been so long…_

Frank had enough of his senses about him to know that in this kind of situation, it was best not to respond. Responding would give her power over him.

And then he thought about the voices he’d heard during the séance, and all the terrible pain he’d felt, and how Lindsey said it would take some time for the door they’d opened between worlds to close again. He realized, in a moment of clarity, that that’s probably what this was.

_Please_, she said. _H-he…_

Frank just stared and prayed she would go away.

_I believed in God until I met him._

She flickered, and she was gone again.

Frank was literally trembling in fear. His mind was racing, and he was too scared to move.

He sat there, thinking. Now that he had a good guess as to where she’d come from, he didn’t know whether to feel better or much, much worse. Dread began to fill the pit of his stomach as he realized he’d intruded into some dark realm and made himself completely known to all of those captive spirits. That could be incredibly dangerous. And what if…what if they didn’t go away? What if they refused to leave him alone?

And she had been so… Frank didn’t know. He didn’t know and he didn’t want to remember her anymore.

He reached to turn on his lamp with unsteady hands and was knocked back by a force so strong it stole his breath from his lungs.

She was kneeling on his chest. Her left knee was crushing his windpipe. Her head was turned around in the proper direction now and the air around her was overwhelmingly sweet. Frank tried to grab onto her and fight her off but quickly realized she wasn’t corporeal, and what he was feeling was a spiritual weight.

He was defenseless. There were a million whispery voices filling his head that were not his own, speaking over one another and making noises of anguish. His heart was hammering painfully in his chest and he was clawing at the air and he couldn’t breathe at all whatsoever. He genuinely felt like he was about to die.

_But then I realized that he _is _God. _More black insects began crawling from her mouth. _He is the Devil. _And from her empty eye sockets. _He is Everything._

Frank wanted to scream, but he couldn’t even begin to open his mouth.

_One day you will drown in him._

And then, for the third time, she was gone.

Frank promptly passed out.

* * *

When he woke up the fourth time, he rushed to the bathroom and immediately threw up the contents of his stomach. Then he continued to dry heave for what felt like hours.

His head pounded so intensely it made him dizzy, and it only perpetuated the nausea roiling in his gut. By the time he was finally able to stand again, he was trembling and covered in a cold sweat, and his eyes felt like they were sinking into his skull. When he glanced in the mirror while he was brushing his teeth, he was a bit horrified to see an ugly purple bruise forming just above his collarbones.

It wasn’t that he’d never had paranormal experiences in his own home before. That was just a part of living here; everyone had a run-in with a ghost now and then, but this time had been different. For a moment, he’d sworn his life was going to end, and now he felt incredibly unsafe.

He stumbled into his kitchen for coffee and read the clock on the wall. It was nearly eleven. He would leave for the library in about an hour and he could ask Lindsey what she thought about…whatever it was that had happened.

A few minutes later, he settled down at his table with his mug, a stick of incense, and a wooden holder. Unfortunately, he didn’t have any sage to burn at the moment, but he hoped the incense would clear the air a bit until he could go out and buy some. He lit it with a match and watched the smoke wind itself into soft gray curls in the air. It was calming, almost meditative.

But the air was still all too cold. It was an eerie kind of cold that couldn’t be fixed with layers of clothing or warm drinks. There were faint noises coming from outside now that the world was awake, but everything still felt sort of empty. He wondered if that same feeling would follow him if he moved away, to a different house or even one of the neighboring towns, or if someone else was living here with him…

And then he became aware of the fact that he couldn’t feel even the slightest trace of Gerard’s presence. He wasn’t here or anywhere nearby, which was unsurprising, but still concerning. He’d been so afraid last night.

Gerard… They had kind of…well, not kind of, they _had _shared a bed. Frank had fallen asleep in his arms. And somehow, it had been really intimate in a way he hadn’t anticipated.

Frank remembered it being peaceful. He remembered them being tangled up in one another and feeling so safe. He was always very affectionate towards the people he cared about, so he was less surprised about it on his end and more surprised that Gerard had actually been okay with that kind of closeness. And he remembered, just before falling asleep, that the ghost had made him some sort of promise he couldn’t recall in detail. And then he had pressed a kiss to his face.

The thought of that made Frank feel all weak in his joints. He hoped the pleasantly warm static that developed under his skin at the thought of Gerard holding him close wouldn’t end up getting them into more trouble than it was worth.

His head still pounded. He decided he needed a cigarette and at least two days of uninterrupted sleep.

* * *

By the time Frank got to the library, Jamia was the only other one there out of their group.

It was a Saturday, so there were more people browsing around than usual. The two of them went up to the fourth floor where all the ancient leather-bound journals and encyclopedias and collections of folktales were, and they found it was relatively quiet.

Frank sat in one of the window seats that looked out over the square. There were lots of people milling about, and he became painfully aware of the fact that they had no idea their world was endangered.

Jamia had been reading quietly for a while, scribbling down notes in a journal, but she eventually marked her place with her thumb and let out a sigh that sounded nervous. “So…did the voices ever go away for you?”

Frank looked at her curiously. “Voices?”

“Yeah. Remember last night…?”

“Oh, yeah. Yeah, they did.” But of course, the voices had only been replaced with a different horror. Frank shuddered internally at the memory.

“They haven’t really gone away for me,” Jamia said. “I can ignore them now, but last night, when I was trying to sleep and there was nothing to distract me…”

“I’m really sorry,” Frank said. “That sounds horrible.”

“It was. I just…I hope they’ll go away.”

“Maybe it’ll just take some more time for you since you’re more receptive. I’m sure it’ll stop eventually.”

Jamia shrugged and stared blankly out the window. “Nothing weird happened to you, then?”

Frank felt kind of sick at the thought of talking about what had happened and reliving it all, but he knew he probably should. “Well…”

Jamia gazed at him pointedly, prompting him to go on.

“There was something in my room last night.” That sentence alone sent chills down his arms. He quickly explained the entire chain of events and tried to ignore his rising nausea. He really didn’t want to throw up again.

By the time he was done, Jamia’s eyes were wide and a little terrified. “Oh.”

“Yeah. I know.”

“Jesus.” She let out a long exhale and Frank swore he could physically see her stress weighing down on her. “We need to cleanse your house again. You could’ve been really hurt.”

“That sounds like a good idea. For a minute I thought I was gonna die,” Frank said. “Dying would kinda fucking suck.”

“You’re not allowed to die right now. It’s against the rules.”

Frank thought about the bruise over his windpipe, which he’d covered up with a knit scarf in order to avoid concerned stares. He decided to keep that detail to himself for Jamia’s sake.

Ray arrived a few minutes later, and after a little bit of conversation, they discovered that all three of them had had terrifying paranormal experiences the night before. Frank was the only one who was actually injured, and as unnerving as that was, he was glad that no one else had had to feel that same kind of mortal terror.

They talked for a little while longer and then began their search through the intimidating expanse of bookshelves. Eventually, Lindsey stopped by in between helping other guests to point them in the right direction, and they started having better luck.

Before long, Frank found himself completely absorbed in a handwritten history book, reading as he walked back to his window seat. So absorbed, in fact, that he ended up colliding with something solid. It didn’t take him long to realize it had been another human being.

He stumbled backward and hoped it was just Ray or someone, so they could laugh it off and he could avoid an awkward confrontation with a stranger. He looked up and discovered that this person was actually _not_ Ray, and then he felt kind of terrible. To make matters worse, he’d seen this guy before. Last night. In the square.

This _had_ to be Bert, without a single doubt. He looked exactly the same. Frank had never felt this weird in his entire life, because honestly, what were the fucking odds?

He’d frozen up for a minute and he realized Bert looked kind of pissed and then he felt even worse. “Shit, that was totally my bad, I’m so sorry. Are you okay?”

Bert raised an eyebrow and said nothing.

“Uh.” Frank looked down at his shoes. “Yeah. I’m really sorry. I’ll just…”

“You’re that one guy, right?”

Silence.

“Frank,” Bert said. “With the weird last name.”

Frank looked up again and was sure his confusion was written all across his face. “Oh. Um, yeah. How’d you…know that?”

Bert shrugged. “People talk about you.”

Frank had never hated a single sentence more in his life. “Hah, they do?”

“It’s a small town.”

This was really awkward. At least on Frank’s end. He swallowed audibly. “Okay.”

Bert glanced down at the book in Frank’s hands and seemed to think for a minute. He clearly had no intention of walking off just yet. “So, what brings you here?”

What, was he trying to make small talk? He didn’t seem like the kind of person who’d willingly do such a thing. “Just, you know, work and stuff.”

“Ah.” Bert narrowed his eyes. “Sounds fun.”

Frank nodded shortly. “It is.”

There was a pause that probably felt a lot longer than it actually was, but it was still pretty fucking long. Frank felt like his soul was being examined through his pupils.

And then Bert spoke again. “Okay, don’t bullshit me. How much do you know?”

Frank was taken aback. He genuinely didn’t know how to respond to that.

“I know you went to the Woods. Tell me what you found.”

“Um, I don’t-”

“There’s no point in lying. I know what’s going on here too.” Bert crossed his arms. “We’re already running out of time to stop it and neither of us wants that.”

Frank didn’t know what to do in this situation. He had no idea what to say or how Bert knew what he claimed to know. He just stood there and stammered, his ears ringing a bit.

“How did you find out?” he breathed, finding his words at last. “You don’t even live here anymore. How…?”

“It’s a long story. For now, let’s just say I have my ways.”

“How do I know I can trust you?”

Bert smiled with one side of his mouth. “I guess you won’t know unless you give me a chance.”

And, well, Frank supposed he had a point, but the stakes were so high and this was all happening so abruptly and his brain was having trouble keeping up. “Is that why you’re here right now? You’re looking for information?”

“Yep. And that makes two of us, doesn’t it?” He stuck out his hand rather suddenly. “Name’s Bert.”

Frank hesitated before shaking his hand. “I know.” Oh god, he hadn’t meant to say that. “Shit, I’m sorry, that was creepy, I-”

Bert gave him a look, but still offered up a disarming smile and said, “It’s okay, I won’t ask. I kind of did the same thing to you.”

Frank stopped himself just in time before he let something slip about Gerard, who was long-dead as far as Bert was aware, being the reason he knew in the first place.

This whole situation was bizarre, but he decided it’d be best to just go with it for now.

“Well, um, I should probably introduce you to my friends too,” Frank said, beginning to make his way back to the area where they were seated. He obviously wasn’t going to keep Bert’s sudden involvement a secret. He didn’t know what his motives were yet, and it would be a mistake not to be a bit wary.

“They know too?”

Frank nodded. “Just a few of them. I didn’t, like, go around telling everyone or anything.”

“As long as they’re trustworthy…” Bert said, worry edging his voice.

“Oh, yeah, of course.” Frank spotted Jamia and waved her over, and she approached them with a quizzical look on her face.

“Who’s this?” she asked, coming to a stop in front of them.

“Um.” Frank realized he didn’t really know how to answer that question. He probably should’ve already thought it through. But how _did _he know Bert? How did Bert know him? Why was any of this even happening right now?

Bert seemed to notice his struggle and mercifully answered for him. “I’m Bert,” he said. “I…know Frank through one of his clients.”

Well, yes, Frank supposed that was technically true.

Jamia raised her eyebrows. “Ah, I see. I’m Jamia.”

“Nice to meet you.”

“You too.” She drummed her fingers against the book she was holding, like she was thinking. “I don’t think I’ve seen you around town before. You said you know each other through a client?”

“Oh, well, I haven’t lived here for a while, but I visit for Halloween sometimes.”

“He knows about the vampires,” Frank cut in, unwilling to stand there and listen to them have a mundane conversation.

Jamia looked at Frank with surprise on her face, and then back at Bert like she was inspecting him. “…You do?”

“Yes,” he said, and proceeded to offer no further explanation.

Jamia glanced at Frank again. “Does he know about the…?”

There was a long moment of silence.

“The rift?” Bert guessed.

Jamia blinked at him. “The Fault?”

“Same thing,” Frank said.

“The spacetime one?” Bert asked.

“Wait, how the hell _do_ you know about that?” Jamia said.

“I pay attention.”

Frank wasn’t sure what to make of that answer. Clearly Jamia wasn’t either.

“Would you believe me if I told you I’ve been watching it for years?” Bert asked.

Jamia narrowed her eyes. “And you just…decided not to tell anyone about it?”

“Well…”

“Hold on, hold on,” Frank said. “Okay, when I talked to you on the phone that one time you acted like you didn’t know about any of this. Why didn’t you just…?”

“Do you know how dangerous they are?” Bert asked.

“The vampires?”

“Yes,” he said. “You can’t just tell anyone about them. Someone could get hurt that way.”

“So then, mentioning the Woods was like a test?” Frank asked.

Bert paused. “Yes and no?”

Jamia looked like she really wanted to say something, and Frank thought about the fact that if it weren’t for Gerard, all of them probably would have fucking died when they went. But Bert didn’t know that, and he hadn’t had any control over what happened to them, so Frank wasn’t going to bring it up just now.

“The thing is, if you think you want to wipe them out, I can guarantee you I want to wipe them out one hundred times more,” Bert said.

“So you want to help us,” Jamia said.

“Yes. Well, really, I want you to help me.”

Frank looked at Jamia who looked right back at him. He decided he would let her make the final call on this one. She was good at that kind of thing and he didn’t know what to make of any of this. He was still kind of trying to catch up, feeling like he’d missed something.

“Tell you what?” she said slowly. “Help us with our research today and we’ll see where we wanna go from there.”

Bert nodded and smiled a bit and pointed to the book in Frank’s hands. “There’s a good place to start. It’ll have most of what you’re looking for.” And then he walked off and turned down one of the autobiography aisles as if this was all normal and nothing out of the ordinary had happened at all.

Jamia just stared after him. She didn’t say anything else.

“He was Gerard’s best friend,” Frank told her in a lowered voice.

“Ohh,” she said, like that made perfect sense and was not surprising in any way. “Does he know about him?”

“I don’t think so.”

Jamia hummed. “Well, he has a lot of explaining to do. I want him to tell us how he knows so much.”

“Me too.” Frank didn’t trust him yet. He didn’t understand how he’d just _shown up_ at the right time like that. But nonetheless, there was something about him that he liked.

* * *

That particular book Bert pointed out had contained a chapter called “Our Lazarus.”

The term “vampire” was never used, but it was clear that’s what the author was writing about. The chapter had detailed the creation of the very first one. And thanks to Gerard, Frank knew exactly who that was.

The author described Thaddaeus’s human self as a highly intelligent witch, a master of his craft. He was said to have been mild-mannered and a bit reclusive, but still friendly to those who encountered him. One day there was a terrible, unspecified accident that resulted in an inexperienced witch obliterating his soul but leaving the rest of him fully intact. He had evidently been very young at the time it had happened.

The chapter was written during a time when Thaddaeus had gone on a rampage stealing many, many souls in order to create more of his kind. He’d been turned nearly a century ago by then. Up until that time, he had been completely missing from the Forest of Souls, hadn’t yet taken the lives of anyone else, but then he had returned and brought all of his vengeance with him. Perhaps it had taken him a while to lose his sense of guilt, or to simply learn to disregard it. Perhaps the power he’d already possessed combined with the curse of immortality had gone to his head and driven him insane.

That chapter combined with several other passages they’d found combined with Bert’s mysterious knowledge (which turned out to be incredibly helpful) had enabled them to begin working on their plan to put a stop to the vampires. They had the bare bones mapped out now.

They were meeting again early in the morning. Jamia had come over to cleanse Frank’s house like she’d promised, and by the time she was done, it was late enough for Frank to immediately collapse into bed and fall asleep. He was exhausted after so many hours of stressing and scouring books and discussing the intricacies of saving the world.

All day, he hadn’t really had time to acknowledge that Gerard hadn’t come back. He’d been far too distracted. That is, until the middle of the night, when some part of his mind was roused, and he found himself sitting in a familiar void of darkness with no memory of getting there. He knew he was dreaming right away.

This time, he was totally serene. There was no surface beneath him; he just floated in the emptiness and looked around absently even though there was nothing to see. The blank expanse felt like a quiet place, an untouched place, far away from harm where he was free to rest.

Several pleasant eternities seemed to pass as he remained suspended there. Eventually, he felt a warm breeze grace the back of his neck, drawing him from his sleepy state a bit. It wrapped around him like streamers of velvet and he let it come and go, observing without judgement, unafraid.

Then he felt cool fingertips against the back of his hand. They lingered gently before they disappeared, and his mouth curled up into a smile.

The breeze journeyed from abstraction into a concrete form, a defined expanse of warmth that settled just behind Frank, and he was in tune enough with Gerard now to know it was him. He felt the ghost’s arms wind around his waist, the rest of his front pressed gently against his back. Frank could’ve stayed there forever.

He felt sluggish under his haze of tiredness, only slowly beginning to turn around, but Gerard stopped him by tightening his hold.

“Don’t,” he whispered. “I don’t want you to see me.” His voice was raw, scratchy in a way that sounded painful.

Frank closed his eyes and leaned his head back against Gerard’s shoulder. He almost asked why. Almost. But Gerard wouldn’t tell him not to look unless he had a good reason. And maybe, all things considered, Frank really didn’t want to see.

“What did they do to you?” he asked.

Gerard didn’t answer for a long while. “I can’t burden you with that.”

Frank decided not to press, but the words made his chest hurt badly. He could hear the lingering fear in the other’s voice.

“But I’m okay,” Gerard reassured him. “Don’t worry too much about me. Please.”

“I can’t help it,” Frank said. There was no possible way he could avoid worrying.

“It’s just…we don’t know how much longer we have left. I want you to be able to focus on the people you love as much as you can.”

“But you _are_…” Frank trailed off, and he sighed. “I care about you too.”

A pause. “I…that means a lot to me, Frank. And I care about you, so I don’t want you to make yourself sick worrying for me.”

Frank nodded slowly. He understood, but that didn’t make it any easier. “You’ll be okay?”

“I’ll be okay,” Gerard said. “Will _you _be okay?”

“Yes. I promise.” Frank leaned back further. He couldn’t tell if he was still upright or not, or if up and down even existed in a place like this. He placed his hands gingerly over Gerard’s arms.

“I just wanted to visit you while I could,” Gerard said. “I hope that’s alright.”

“Of course it’s alright. …Do you have to go now?”

“Yes. But I’ll be back soon.”

Frank nodded. He was already apprehensive, but he was grateful for even the short amount of time they’d just had together. Fortunately, his own exhaustion kept him sort of calm for now, sedated. “You really will be okay, Gee.”

The ghost’s breath caught slightly in his throat, so quiet it was almost unnoticeable. “I will. And so will you.”

Frank knew it was true. He _wanted _to know it was true. They were both strong. They would get by. At least that’s what he kept repeating to himself.

He hoped for a day when he wouldn’t have to be so strong anymore. Where he could choose to be vulnerable because he was finally safe, like an exhale after a long day. Safe like he was in soft, quiet moments like this. Wrapped up in warmth, embraced by rest. He really could've stayed forever.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> {Joy Division - Day of the Lords}
> 
> What if I told you Frank had dreads in this fic. I mean he actually doesn't but just. What if he did. What would happen.


	19. There Is a Light That Never Goes Out

_“To die by your side is such a heavenly way to die.”_

* * *

_ **11.05.2003** _

The clock on the wall read 5:30 a.m. Frank looked up at it curiously, staring hard at the two hands for quite a while before it finally dawned on him that this marked the third full day in a row that he hadn’t slept.

He’d gone a day or two several times before, when his insomnia decided to hit him harder than it normally did. It was amazing the difference that one more night could make, because if he thought he’d felt exhaustion before, that was nothing compared to this.

Now, there was no time to sleep. When he wasn’t researching he was working on cases, and when he wasn’t working on cases he was researching. Even if he had the option to rest, he was almost positive his anxiety would’ve just kept him up anyway. He was a mess of existential dread and franticness, trying to failing to cope with the threat of eternal torment that loomed on the horizon. He kept having dull pains in his chest and eating had become near impossible since his stomach was so upset all the time. He’d never been under this much stress in his life.

On top of all that, he hadn’t felt any indication of Gerard’s presence in days. Frank supposed he hadn’t been gone too terribly long yet, and Gerard had specifically told him not to drown himself in worry. That was the healthiest thing to do, after all, when Frank had no control over what was happening anyway. But every day it became just a little more difficult not to think about it, and Frank prayed with everything in him that Gerard wasn’t being tormented as horribly as he sometimes imagined. His mind tended to fill with intrusive thoughts about tortures that made him sick.

All of those factors had led him to the present where he sat in his living room, periodically hallucinating and on the verge of falling into a fucking coma. He thought absently about the half-assed research paper he’d written in college about sleep deprivation and the paranormal – something about how going long enough without sleep could, in theory, break one’s mental barriers between the physical world and the spiritual world. So, if that was true, the weird shapes he kept seeing in his peripheral vision could really be lost spirits who had happened to pass him by. He didn’t like the thought of that very much.

Ray was passed out on the couch beside him; Frank knew he hadn’t gotten much rest either. They’d had an unusual influx of clients recently, which made sense knowing what they knew. Their findings during their investigations were becoming stranger and stranger, pointing towards impending doom, like a ticking clock perpetually counting down in the background of their lives.

Frank’s heart beat a little harder at the thought of that. He wished he knew how to fully cherish being alive.

He scrubbed his hands across his face and shut his laptop and hauled himself up. He was unsteady on his feet with no destination in mind, but the sudden urge to move was buzzing in his veins and if he sat still any longer he was going to explode. He walked through a reality that felt odd and foreign and inescapable. Nothing around him looked familiar anymore. Everything seemed to be melting.

He thought of how Ray was supposed to finish his degree this semester – an impressive accomplishment that he’d dedicated much of his time to. _Took you long enough_, Frank had joked at one point, as they’d made plans to travel together for a week or two once graduation was over. They were also supposed to start hiring new team members, looking for an actual office space to run their business from… There were a lot of things Frank really wanted to do.

It wasn’t that he had any massive, crushing regrets. He supposed he wasn’t quite old enough for that. Rather, there were so many things he wanted to experience as an adult, but he hadn’t even been given the chance yet, and now all of that was going to be ripped away from him. He was running out of time so quickly and part of him doubted they were going to be able to stop it, and then he was going to be rewarded with a fate far worse than death…

As his thoughts grew darker, his mind was slowly breaking away from reality, unable to bear how horrendously out of control he was in this situation. He couldn’t save the world, he couldn’t save Gerard, he couldn’t save himself. There was nothing he could do, there was nothing he could do…

His trembling hands suddenly looked like they should’ve belonged to someone else. His thoughts spun in circles of rumination and obsession. This was torment.

The next thing he knew, Frank found himself sitting against the wall with no memory of getting there. His chest burned and he swore he couldn’t breathe, so he had resorted to taking in noisy gasps of air that made him feel lightheaded. His face was soaked with tears. Ray was awake now, crouched down with his hands on Frank’s shoulders, speaking words Frank couldn’t comprehend in a soft but direct voice.

“I can’t do this,” Frank said, voice choked, far away like it was coming through a tunnel. He couldn’t focus on anything around him, and he kept seeing strange red lights flash beside him, and he felt like he was going to have a genuine heart attack. He was drowning.

“You need to breathe,” Ray said, and Frank could finally understand him. “You’re going to be okay.”

Frank shook his head. “I’m not, I’m not…”

“You will, I promise. You just need to breathe.”

“I can’t.” Frank kept choking on the air in his throat, taking in too much at once. “I can’t breathe. I can’t-”

“Hey, no, it’s okay. You can. You just need to take _deeper_ breaths, like this.”

Frank vaguely heard Ray inhale and the sound pulled him out of his head a bit. He tried to slow down and match the steadiness of Ray’s breath but fighting the urge to take in as much oxygen as he could, like it was the last he’d ever get, was incredibly difficult.

“Yeah, like that. That’s better.”

Frank nodded slowly, still shaking and sweating. It took all of his concentration not to hyperventilate again, not to fixate on all the terrifying thoughts still clambering around in his mind. Ray pulled him into a gentle hug that he didn’t know he needed until it was actually happening, and he couldn’t help but collapse against him. He allowed his tears to flow freely, giving him a sensation of release, and they sat there embracing one another until Frank’s breathing went back to normal several minutes later.

It was oddly quiet now that he was no longer gasping. Quiet enough to make anyone’s skin crawl.

“Did I wake you up?” Frank asked. He felt guilty, like he should’ve been able to take care of himself. He hadn’t broken down like that in a long time.

Ray nodded, rubbing his back in a soothing manner. “Yeah, but it’s alright.”

Frank sighed. “I’m sorry. I’m just…I’m really scared.”

“Me too. It’s okay.”

“The end of the world looks a lot more fun in the movies.”

Ray laughed softly. “The world’s not going to end, Frank.”

“How do you know?”

“I just do.”

Frank shook his head. “But what if it does?”

“It won’t. We’re gonna stop it.”

“I dunno,” Frank whispered. “I just…there’s too much happening at once. Like, we have all these cases on top of all this, and then Gerard’s still gone, and I just want him to be okay. I want everything to be okay. I don’t want anything bad to happen to any of you.” His eyes filled with tears once more that quickly spilled down his cheeks, but he didn’t bother wiping them away.

Ray knit his brow. “Hey, it’s gonna turn out alright. I know it’s hard now, but we’ll get through this just like we get through everything else.”

Frank didn’t answer. That was too difficult to believe.

“And Gerard will come back eventually.”

“Yeah, but if he doesn’t? What if he can’t?”

A look of sympathy washed over Ray’s face, like he had a newfound understanding of the situation. “You care about him a lot.”

“Yeah…” Frank said.

Ray nodded. “You’re not blaming yourself for him being gone, right?”

“No,” Frank answered honestly. “I’m just worried. I try to keep myself distracted but it’s just…it’s hard.”

“I know. I’m worried about him too, but when you’re connected to him like that, I can’t imagine.” Ray hugged him a bit tighter. “I just want you to know I’m here for you, alright? And things really will be okay.”

Frank nodded. “Thank you,” he whispered.

He realized, as they sat there quietly, that he wished he’d acknowledged sooner how lucky he was to have the friends he did. They all really, truly cared about him. But he supposed most people didn’t know how good they had it until it was all slipping away.

Ray pulled back to look at Frank a little while later, examining his glossy, sunken in eyes with a look of concern. “When’s the last time you slept?”

“Mm. I don’t know.” Frank did know, of course, but he didn’t want to admit it and worry Ray more. He reached up and tried to rub the soreness away from his eyes.

“You need to rest or you’re gonna feel worse.”

“But there’s no time. There’s so much we have to do-”

“Stop. Your health is way more important than work.” Ray placed his hands under Frank’s arms and began standing up, pulling Frank off the ground along with him. “I will literally force you to sleep if I have to.”

“Yikes,” Frank said. “That sounds scary.”

“Well, then, don’t make me do it.” Ray began to lead him back to the couch. “Just lie down here and close your eyes for a minute, okay?”

Frank realized, with a plummet of sudden dread, that the last thing he wanted was to fall asleep by himself. The last few times he’d slept, he’d had these horrible nightmares about disfigured bodies and invisible voices screaming at him, and every time he woke up his house looked all wrong and unfamiliar. He didn’t want to go through that alone.

“Are you gonna leave?” he asked in a quiet voice.

“Nope. I’m gonna stay right here.” Ray sat down beside Frank before grabbing the blanket hanging over the back of the couch and passing it to him. “Just try for, like, five minutes or something. That’s it. Easy.”

“Okay. I can do that.” Frank settled back with his head against the armrest, curling up and forcing his eyelids shut.

“Just tell me if you need anything,” Ray said.

Frank was filled with genuine gratitude that he didn’t quite know how to express. He smiled just a bit, and it made his heart ache. “You know, I’m so glad you’re my best friend,” he said.

Ray didn’t answer for a few seconds, but when he did, his voice was soft and strained. “I’m glad you are too.”

_ **11.08.2003** _

Frank’s house had become a regular meeting place recently, where he and his friends would gather to continue their extensive hunt for a solution late into the night. He wasn’t upset at all about this development; it made everything feel a little less cold, and the seriousness of their situation a little less daunting. It also distracted him from the fact that it had been over a week now, and there was still no sign of Gerard.

At least he’d managed to get a bit of sleep the last few nights. It wasn’t enough to properly sustain him, and he kept having unnerving dreams about being lost in an ocean of darkness, but he didn’t feel quite so on edge when he was awake. He was no longer hallucinating. He hadn’t had any more panic attacks.

And now that he was sitting here listening to Lindsey explain the plan to do away with Thaddaeus, a small part of him felt that it had all paid off. Even if he still had his doubts that this would work, and even if, in the back of his mind, he was still preparing to sacrifice himself in order to buy everyone more time, he felt a faint glimmer of hope in his chest.

“So, if I’m right about all this,” Lindsey was saying, “the only way to kill him is to essentially perform the reverse of the spell that turned him.”

“You figured out what the spell was?” Ray asked.

“I think so.” Lindsey flipped through the pages of her journal and placed her finger underneath the line she needed to reference. “I looked through a few books on astral projection, and as I’m sure you already know, there are quite a few unknowns surrounding it. Much of the practice is still highly experimental, and some of it can be dangerous.” She dog-eared the page before turning to a different one. “So, there was a sickness spreading around the Forest a few years before Thaddaeus was turned. Apparently he lost his entire family to it. I found a few of the spell books he probably used, and I think he was trying to use advanced magic to visit the afterlife dimension.”

“That would make sense,” Jamia said. “Interfering with life and death will always get you in trouble.”

Lindsey nodded. “Exactly. And apparently he needed help to perform the spell, but after so many people had died, I think his only options left were witches unfit to work with magic like that.”

“He must’ve been really desperate,” Frank murmured. As horrendous and unforgivable as Thaddaeus had become, he found it interesting that there were parallels between their lives. He had experienced his own crushing losses, felt loneliness that he thought would be the end of him for a very long time. He wondered, if he’d taken a different path, if he could’ve become a monster in his own way.

“He had to be,” Lindsey said. “The instructions actually advise _against _performing the spell. I guess it was only written down for documentation purposes. It’s made very clear that it can cause permanent damage to your spiritual self.”

“How do we even do it backwards?” Ray asked.

“Not backwards, the reverse. That means every step written, every ingredient listed, we use the exact opposite.”

“Can we do it now? Do we have everything we need?”

“Not now. We need a few more things.” Lindsey turned to a list she’d written of everything she needed to gather, from crystals to herbs to charged water. “Also, I think you should know now…we have to get as close to him as we can if we want this to work.”

Frank’s stomach dropped with nervousness. He’d only encountered Thaddaeus once before, but just _thinking _about being near him again made his blood run cold.

“We’ll need to figure out a way to surprise him,” Lindsey said. “I have a feeling going to that clearing we found in the Woods will be the best way to do that, but I’m not sure how to get there without being seen first.”

“We’ll need to use a spell, probably,” Jamia said. “I bet we can come up with something together.”

As everyone continued talking, Frank scoured his brain for ways they could succeed in their ambush. He realized Bert would probably be a good person to ask. Everyone had agreed, a day or two after they all met him, to let him help out, and he’d been able to answer almost all of their questions so far to varying degrees of detail. Frank made a mental note to text him or have him come over at some point.

“Well, we should probably plan on doing it soon,” Ray said. “We don’t know how much time we have left.”

Lindsey nodded. “Yes, definitely. I’ll try to have everything ready in a few days.”

“We’ll help you,” Jamia said. “It sounds like a solid plan. I’m sure it’ll work out.”

Frank, on the other hand, was not so sure about that, but he had a feeling bringing up the option of sacrificing himself would only make things worse. Of course he wanted to avoid it, but…what if he couldn’t? What if there was nothing else they could do?

A few minutes of conversation later, Jamia asked Frank if he’d seen Gerard lately. Frank could tell she was truly concerned, and he knew everyone else was worried too, but after the panic attack he had the other day it was something he really wanted to avoid talking about.

“No,” he answered quietly, fidgeting in discomfort.

Jamia’s eyes widened in surprise. “Not at all?”

Frank shook his head.

“Shit. I really hope he’s okay.”

“Yeah. Me too.”

She paused and looked at him with even more concern written across her face. “Are _you _okay?”

Frank thought about telling her he was, but he decided to just be honest. There was no point in lying when the truth was already kind of obvious. “Not really. I just do my best not to think about it.”

“I could try and find him for you,” Lindsey said.

Frank quickly shook his head, remembering how when Gerard had visited him in a dream several days ago, he wouldn’t even let Frank look at him. “I don’t think I want to know.” Knowing where he was wouldn’t give Frank any more control over the situation anyway, so what was the point? It would probably just cause him to worry more.

“Oh,” she said, seeming to realize Frank’s reasoning. “I understand.”

Ray gave Frank a sympathetic look and a smile of encouragement. “He’ll be back,” he said.

_But what if he isn’t?_

Frank just nodded and tried to preserve the little bit of optimism he had left. Gerard had made him a promise, after all. He needed to trust him.

* * *

Half an hour later, everyone had left and gone their separate ways to work on other things, and Frank was left by himself again. He hated it as he always did, and he was contemplating going out somewhere until he remembered he was supposed to ask Bert about how to sneak into the Woods.

He sent him a rather extensive text, and after a few more messages, he was set to come over as soon as he could, telling Frank it would all be easier to explain in person. Frank, of course, had no problem with that.

While he waited, he made sure to let everyone else know Bert was helping them figure out the final part of their plan, and then there was a knock on his door just a few minutes later.

Frank went to answer it and greeted Bert with a wave. “Hey,” he said. “Thanks for coming by.”

“Ah, it’s no problem.” Bert looked way more tired than he had two days ago, when Frank had seen him last, but that wasn’t very shocking. He had a book and a notepad tucked under his arm and a roll of parchment in his hand that Frank assumed was a map. They went and sat down at Frank’s table, and Bert rolled out the paper to reveal a detailed chart of the Woods.

“Whoa, where’d you get this?” Frank asked, staring at the beautiful ink drawings in awe. He knew elaborate, handmade maps like this one were _very_ hard to come by nowadays and even more expensive.

“Oh, I picked it up right before I moved away,” Bert said with a nonchalant shrug. “So, where’d you say you need a route to?”

“Um…” Frank’s eyes scanned over the expanse of paper, searching for the approximate location of the clearing, and he was able to find it before long. He reached across the table and pointed it out. “Right here.”

“The clearing?” Bert hummed and began flipping through the pages of the book he’d brought. “Hm…”

“Well, that’s where we think we need to go for this to work,” Frank said. “Do you think that’s right?”

“Yes. Based on the readings you got when you were there, I think that area is closely tied to the energy of the Fault somehow, which means it’s connected to Thaddaeus. Even if he’s not super close by, you could still perform your spell there and at least incapacitate him.” Bert shrugged. “You know. In theory.”

Frank nodded. He only wished they could be totally sure of themselves, but unfortunately, that was impossible.

“Okay, so, it’d be best if you went during a full moon,” Bert said. “It weakens their senses. If you pair that with a few masking spells, you can probably make it without being noticed.”

“It’s that easy?” Frank asked.

“Well, not quite. You’ll be safer if you go a specific way.” Bert narrowed his eyes as he examined the map. “I’m gonna have to think about that part for a little bit.”

Bert’s oddly extensive knowledge had been nothing but helpful so far, but it didn’t quite add up to the brief explanation he’d given for it; something about becoming a scientist after he’d moved away, which Frank was sure was true, but it still didn’t seem like an adequate reason. Frank’s theory right now was that Bert had dabbled in dark magic and taken the time to study all of this stuff when he was younger – something like that. Both of those things had become acceptable practices in recent years but were essentially forbidden before then. Maybe he’d been caught and fled town, and now he was afraid to talk about it. It was pretty much the only thing that made sense.

Frank was quiet as he watched Bert trace invisible lines on the map, mumbling to himself every now and then. A few minutes later, he made a triumphant noise.

“Okay, I think I have it,” he said. “You got a pen?”

“Yeah.” Frank reached for one lying across the table and passed it to him.

“Thanks.” Bert began scribbling a rough copy of the map onto the notepad. “So, years ago, a few witches set up paths in the Woods designed to conceal their auras while they traveled. That kind of magic never really goes away. So…” He chewed on the corner of his lip and drew lines and arrows that Frank assumed indicated the way they were supposed to go. “As long as you follow them, the chances of being caught are a lot less. Never zero – understand that – but reduced, at least. I’m sure Lindsey will be able to help you find the right way to go, too.”

Frank just watched and took it all in. It sounded so simple. “Why does nobody else know about this?”

“Oh, plenty of people do,” Bert said. “They’re all just so afraid of what might happen if someone goes near the Woods, they don’t want it to seem like they’re encouraging anyone to try. And I don’t blame them at all for that.”

“Huh…” Frank said. “Okay, so…full moon, masking spells, special paths? That’s it?”

“Those are your best options. They won’t totally guarantee your safety.”

Frank nodded in understanding. “Are you gonna go with us?”

“Do you want me to?”

“I think it would be good to have you there.”

Bert hummed. “Yeah, I would like to, if that’s okay with you.”

“Of course.”

“I’ll plan on it then.” He tore the top sheet of paper off the notepad and handed it to Frank before he began rolling up his map. “Do you have any other questions?”

Frank shook his head. “I don’t think so. Thanks again.”

“It’s no problem,” Bert said. “I’m sorry I have to rush out of here; I’m supposed to meet up with Mikey in a little bit. Does he know about any of this?”

“No,” Frank said. “I figured it’d be too dangerous to tell him.”

“Yeah, good call. D’you ever make any progress on his case?”

“Uh, kind of. We’re still working on it.”

“Hm,” Bert said. “Bet it was just a poltergeist or something.”

Frank shrugged. He’d been debating this whole time whether or not Bert knew what had really happened, and he was still incredibly undecided. He’d have to sit down and try to coax some answers out of him eventually. “Maybe it was,” he said. “Who knows?”

_ **11.09.2003** _

When Frank woke up early the next morning, he got out of bed right away and watched the sunrise from his back porch. Being outside actually helped to clear his mind more than he thought it would.

The sky was mostly overcast, but the rising sun painted the clouds near the horizon beautiful hues of pink and gold. A chill wind began to pick up, signaling the start of a cold front blowing in, and Frank really hoped that it would rain. The rare California thunderstorms that came and went had always made him feel more at peace. The patter of rain was like a melody, and the clouds that gently blanketed the sky provided a pleasant respite from the reach of the sun.

Now Frank sat at his dining table and made himself busy retyping case notes, plugging numbers into formulas, and writing up several long reports that were definitely full of typos. He’d switched on the TV for some background noise, mostly to keep his thoughts from going to some dark place that would prevent him from maintaining focus.

He was aware of that persistent, ringing emptiness in the very particles of the air around him. It didn’t scare him so much as it just made him feel lonely, or maybe pushed him steadily closer to the precipice of some awful existential spiral he could never claw his way out of. Sometimes he would pause and just observe the feeling, like staring into the face of a beast, like trying to make peace with it.

The clacking of keys and the howling of the wind and the muffled chatter of the TV were the only sounds for a long time. The ambience was actually quite nice in and of itself. Frank felt more peaceful than he had in several days.

A whole hour passed, and nothing particularly exciting took place in that entire duration of time. But then, in the span of a millisecond, _everything _changed, like the air itself was now charged with a new form of energy. It was so sudden, so all-encompassing, that it was almost audible in spite of the fact that it hadn’t produced any sound at all. Frank noticed it immediately, tangible enough that it startled him.

He looked around the room and found there was nothing remotely different about it. Everything was in the same place. Cold gray light from the overcast sky was still filtering in through the uncovered living room window. The harsh wind, a sure precursor to the coming rainstorm, still rattled the dated frame of the house.

And then, just as Frank was about to shrug it all off and go back to typing, blame it on prolonged stress and sleep deprivation, the realization struck him.

He stood up from his chair in one rapid movement. His body had been struck with a bolt of energy, and a surge of blazing hope was rising up in his chest. He walked quickly down the hallway and peeked into every open doorway, eyes surveying each room. He felt more awake than he had in days.

“Gerard?” he called out, his voice soft. His bedroom was the last place he had to check, and he didn’t see any sign of the ghost there, but he could _feel _him. Gerard’s presence was unmistakable to him now. Frank hadn’t been able to feel him in _days_ and now it was like a breath of fresh air, a sense of unity, one Frank appreciated more than he ever had before.

He retreated to his kitchen and sat down in front of his laptop again, a little disappointed Gerard hadn’t actually appeared, but still buzzing with the hope and happiness his presence brought him. Surely this meant Gerard was back, and he was okay, and Frank knew he would visit him again whenever he was able to. If he could be patient before, while under so much stress, then he could easily be patient now knowing Gerard was there in some form.

Frank made himself focus on his work again, able to concentrate with a bit more ease once he got back into the flow of things. A portion of the weight on his shoulders had finally been taken away.

Later, Frank took a break to text everyone and let them know there was a good chance Gerard was back. He didn’t want to say he knew for sure yet, just in case, but…there was no other explanation, right? It _had _to be him. Somehow, Frank just knew.

And then, before much more time had elapsed, Frank could hear a quiet voice speak his name, like a mirage calling out to him in the desert. He froze immediately, and part of him thought it was surely too good to be true. Surely Gerard hadn’t come so soon. Frank couldn’t be that lucky. But when he looked up and across the table, there he was, standing right in front of him as if he’d never left at all.

A small part of Frank’s brain was totally convinced this was all a dream. Like it’d given up on the possibility that Gerard was ever going to come back at all, so this had to be some sort of fabricated reality. But every other part of him was absolutely overloaded with emotions to the point that it took Frank a moment before he could move.

Finally, he managed to push himself up and cross the distance between the two of them. He paused and stood in front of Gerard for a moment and watched as the ghost’s eyes become glassy, gazing at Frank like he was admiring his very soul. Both of them were completely silent before Frank collapsed against Gerard’s chest and held on to him like he was a precious treasure, and Gerard hugged him back so, so tightly, and the two of them could only breathe in utmost relief.

“You came back,” Frank whispered into the silence, voice weighed down with emotion and choked by tears.

Gerard took a breath and let out a soft laugh that sounded like a song. “Didn’t I say I always would?”

He _had_ said that. Frank looked up at him and smiled. “You did.”

“I didn’t mean to be gone for so long, though. I’m so sorry, I didn’t know…”

“Why are you sorry?” Frank drew his brows together in concern, examining Gerard’s face. “That’s not your fault.”

“I don’t know,” Gerard murmured.

Frank noticed Gerard’s face was sallow, more sunken in than normal. His eyes were colored with hues of red and purple and he genuinely looked like he’d been through hell and back. Frank’s usual desire to fix anything and everything that was wrong was prominent in his mind, but a more rational part of him knew he couldn’t. As much as that killed him, right now he hoped he could at least be a source of comfort for Gerard.

“I promise there’s no reason for you to feel guilty,” Frank said as he hugged Gerard tighter. “It’s not your fault.”

No response.

“It’s _not_. It’s okay. You’re okay.”

Gerard nodded slowly, like he was considering it.

Frank watched a single tear roll down his cheek, and he carefully reached up and brushed it away with his thumb. “And I mean, of course I really missed you, but I held up just fine.”

“Yeah… Yeah, you did, didn’t you?” Gerard’s mouth curled into a small smile. “I knew you would.”

Frank smiled back at him. “I’m pretty damn tough, you know.”

Gerard nodded. “Tough as nails.”

Obviously, Frank was going to avoid talking about the stress he _had_ been experiencing for now. That wasn’t needed in any way. “I’m just happy you’re back,” he said, running the backs of his fingers across Gerard’s cheek even though there were no more tears left to be dried. “You wanna go sit down and talk?”

“Mhm, that sounds good.”

They went and sat on the couch together, side by side, and Gerard stared sleepily out the window for a moment. His gaze was fixed on the oak tree growing just outside it as it swayed in the wind, leaves reddened and crumpled by the cooler weather.

Frank found himself watching him, entranced by the softness of his stare and the way the gray light of the sky reflected in his eyes. Gerard appeared contemplative, peaceful. He eventually looked back at Frank, and Frank averted his gaze as quickly as he could, feeling his face warm.

If Gerard had noticed, he didn’t seem to mind. He hummed and leaned his head against Frank’s shoulder. “I fuckin’ missed you.”

Frank smiled. “I missed you too,” he said. “So, um…how are you feeling? Are you doing okay?” He knew he definitely needed to ask, but he wasn’t quite sure how to go about it.

Gerard sighed and considered his answer for a moment. “I don’t know. I mean, yes, but no. I don’t want to say I’m used to being hurt, because I don’t think I’ll ever really be used to it, but it’s kind of…you start feeling numb to it after a while. But then sometimes the fear comes back and hits you all at once, and I’m not really looking forward to that.”

Frank frowned and nodded in understanding. “Do you want to talk about what happened?”

“Probably at some point. Not today. I just wanna spend time with you while I can and forget about all the other shit that’s going for a little bit, you know? That’ll help more than anything right now.”

Frank decided that was fair. “Okay. But as soon as you’re ready, just know I’m here to listen.”

Gerard smiled warmly at him. “Thank you.”

“Of course.” Frank wrapped his arms around Gerard and pulled him a bit closer, resting his cheek against the top of his head, trying to think of a way to redirect his thoughts since that seemed to be what he wanted at the moment. He eventually noticed Gerard was shivering against his side, and he remembered his heater was properly fucked now which meant his house was quite cold to anyone who wasn’t used to it. Frank didn’t notice it much anymore, but he could imagine not having any body heat would make it harder to ignore. “Are you cold?” he asked.

“Yeah, a little bit.”

“Here.” Frank grabbed the blanket tangled into a pile beside him and handed it to Gerard. “Sorry, I really need to get my AC fixed.”

“Oh, that’s okay, I’m always cold anyway.” Gerard spread the blanket over both of them and kicked off his shoes, tucking his legs beside him.

Frank pulled the blanket up to his chin with one hand before he wrapped both his arms around Gerard’s shoulders. “Not for long. You’ve got me to warm you up now.”

“Oh yeah?”

“You bet. All yours.”

“Perfect.” Gerard giggled and settled down against Frank’s chest. “What’re we watching?”

Frank glanced up at the TV, where an old black and white sitcom was playing at a low volume. “Oh, I dunno. Wanna put on a movie or something?”

“Actually…this is gonna sound totally lame, but I was kinda thinking we could just take a nap.” Gerard paused. “I mean- _I _could take a nap. I haven’t gotten any rest lately, so, you know. I’m not saying you have to, like, nap _with _me or anything.”

Frank chuckled. “That’s cool. I’m always down for a nap.”

“Can we watch a movie some other time though? I don’t even _remember _the last time I got to do that.”

Frank raised his eyebrows in surprise. “Really? Yeah, damn, we gotta do something about that. I’ll even let you pick what we watch.”

Gerard placed his hand dramatically over his heart. “Aw, you’re so kind.”

“Yep,” Frank said with a grin. “You need anything for now? More blankets?”

“More blankets sound good, if you don’t mind.”

Frank sighed. “Well, you’re not gonna like this, but you’re gonna have to let me up to get them.”

Gerard, who was totally wrapped around Frank at this point, let out a displeased huff.

“Sorry,” Frank said, and when Gerard still didn’t budge, he poked him in the ribs and laughed at the surprised yelp he made.

“Okay, okay!” Gerard laughed and hurried to the other side of the couch, allowing Frank to move.

“I’ll be right back.” Frank went and grabbed an armful of extra blankets, which he unceremoniously threw on top of Gerard, and then went to change into comfier clothes while he was up. As he looked out his bedroom window, he noticed it had just started to lightly rain, and it brought a smile to his face. This weather made him feel all safe and cozy.

Frank walked back into the living room afterward, footsteps muffled by a pair of ridiculously fluffy socks. “I have a question,” he said to Gerard, who was just barely visible underneath his mountain of blankets, covered up to his chin. It might have been one of the cutest things Frank had ever seen.

“Shoot.”

“Can you wear different clothes?”

Gerard knit his brow and seemed to really think about it for a minute. “You know…I’ve never tried. But I don’t see why not.”

“Cause you’re always wearing jeans so I figured you might want pajamas instead.”

“Oh my god, yes please.”

Frank laughed and went back to his room to rummage through his collection of pajamas, and Gerard followed right behind him.

“Okay, try these.” Frank handed him a pair of flannel pants and what was possibly the coziest sweatshirt he owned.

“You’re an angel,” Gerard said, sounding entirely serious, and Frank scurried back into the living room before his resulting blush became too obvious.

When Gerard emerged from Frank’s room a few minutes later, he had a contented expression on his face, and his hair was a bit messed up, and his sweatshirt was oversized enough to practically swallow him whole. The overcast light made him look softer, somehow more alive.

Later, Frank ended up lying on his side with his head tucked under Gerard’s chin, face hidden against his neck, snuggled up and warm in their cocoon of blankets. He listened to the rhythm of the rain pattering against his roof and the rhythm of Gerard’s steady breathing, growing deeper and slower once he began to fall asleep. Frank didn’t manage to drift off himself for a while longer, but he was happy just to be there in Gerard’s embrace.

Eventually, sleep wrapped him up in an embrace of its own.

* * *

By the time they both woke up a little while later, the storm had officially arrived. It was windy and thundering outside, but the two of them were warm and safe bundled up together. They laid there and talked about all sorts of things, like their favorite books (their tastes were incredibly similar, as it turned out) and Frank’s plans to get a dog as soon as he had enough time and money. At one point, Gerard mentioned something about wanting to see Frank’s friends again, and hearing that made Frank’s heart warm. He would love for Gerard to become closer to them all on his own, to really become his own person again, to be free to experience normalcy and receive love from everyone he could. He deserved all that and more.

Neither the vampires nor the end of the world situation was brought up once. In the safety of the moment, they’d been temporarily forgotten. It was nice.

And honestly, Frank could’ve just listened to Gerard forever. Whenever he started talking about something he really liked or was really passionate about, his face lit up and he rambled excitedly until he caught himself and sheepishly apologized. Frank would just laugh and convince him it was okay, that he was free to talk about whatever he wanted. After all, Gerard gladly listened to his ramblings as well.

After a while, they fell into a comfortable silence. Gerard’s hand had begun to run up and down Frank’s spine in a sort of lazy way, like he was doing it without thinking about it. Each time his hand retraced its path gave life to butterflies in Frank’s stomach and a crackling warmth deep within his chest.

Gerard looked down at Frank, smiling in a way that made his eyes crinkle at the corners and Frank’s heart melt in his chest. “You’re so…”

Frank raised his eyebrows, prompting him to continue.

Instead, Gerard shook his head. “I don’t know.”

“Is that a good I don’t know or a bad I don’t know?” Frank asked.

“Hm. Definitely a good one.” His voice was so warm. The hand that wasn’t occupied rubbing Frank’s back reached up to push his hair away from his face.

“Ah,” Frank said, leaning up into the touch. “Well, now I’m curious.”

Gerard laughed quietly and shook his head. “It’s nothing…”

Their eyes locked and they simply gazed at one another, blinking softly. Frank felt like he was drowning in warmth.

The rain still drummed against the roof – a constant song.

Gerard was quiet for a long while before he took a breath and spoke again, his voice barely above a whisper. “Fuck. I love you.”

And all at once, Frank’s breath was stolen away from his lungs.

His eyes went wide. Somehow, that was the last thing he’d expected Gerard to say to him, and he didn’t know how to answer, and his heart felt like it was winding up to burst. He tried to remind himself he really had no idea how Gerard had meant that, and love came in so many different forms, and-

“I love you too,” he managed at last. His voice was soft and full of conviction, and the words sung sweetly and illuminated the corners of his mind. Some intuitive part of him seemed to just _know_.

Nothing else needed to be said.

Frank stared deeply into Gerard’s eyes, caught up in the contagion of his smile, listening to him breathe. Gerard’s hand moved tentatively to cup Frank’s jaw, thumb brushing back and forth across his cheek, overly delicate like he was waiting for Frank to push him away. But Frank certainly had no intention of doing that, and he smiled at Gerard in silent affirmation.

Gerard tipped Frank’s face upwards, just an inch, with the hand that still cupped his jaw.

Frank’s heart beat harder, and his lips parted just a bit, and all he could do was breathe as Gerard leaned in close, so close. Frank’s eyes fluttered shut when their noses pressed side by side. He could feel cool breath fanning sweetly across his lips.

Gerard planted a kiss against his cheek, paused in case there was any sort of objection, and then allowed his lips to brush across his skin in a delicate trail. Frank was smiling, unable to contain it, heart leaping in his chest when Gerard pressed another kiss to the corner of his mouth.

“Gee…” he whispered. “Kiss me.”

Gerard smiled against his skin. And then, at last, he closed the distance between their lips.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> {The Smiths - There Is a Light That Never Goes Out}
> 
> The next update is gonna be mostly fluff! You all deserve it after being patient for a whole nineteen chapters, lol. Thanks for reading! <3


	20. Sunlight

_“All these colors fade for you only / Hold me, carry me slowly, my sunlight.”_

* * *

_ **11.09.2003** _

Surely nothing else could feel quite like this. Delicate and wonderful, like everything nice in the world had been packaged up in the present; like there existed some hidden strain of magic only accessible during such intimate moments, when the world seemed to turn rose-gold and soft around the edges and glitter rained down on beating hearts and the backs of eyelids.

Frank’s mind genuinely short-circuited. For a few seconds, he forgot to breathe. The simplicity of now was somehow overwhelming, and it was near impossible to remember anything existed outside the gentle movements of parted lips, the heat of skin pressed against skin, the sense of encapsulating delight.

Gerard kissed him so sweetly, like a silent profession of love, like he was sharing a cascade of feeling as old and intricate as time. He cradled Frank’s face and drew him closer by the small of his back, the press of their mouths creating a longing between them that was amplified by the closeness of their souls. Embracing one another alone was undiluted contentment, but this surpassed even that. This was bliss. They were magnetized, and Frank was so enraptured.

He sighed and tilted his head further to the side. Gerard’s lips were so soft, and he was melting, and sparks were flying through his veins.

Frank had been kissed before, but never like this. Not even close. This was the edge of drowning in the best way possible, with the ghost acting as his tether to the real world. The roiling depths of the moment he’d been cast into were exactly where he was supposed to be, and the arms that held him could carry him home.

By the time they pulled away from one another, Frank wasn’t sure how long it had been; he’d lost track of time. He waited a few moments, catching his breath and listening as Gerard did the same, before he initiated a new kiss just as impossibly good as the first. Gerard moaned softly against his mouth and tangled his fingers in Frank’s hair, pulling him closer with urgency.

This time was more intense. Frank wrapped his arms around Gerard’s neck and their bodies seemed to meld together, their breaths coming in quick gasps every time they parted for a fraction of a second, making soft noises against one another’s mouths.

“Frank,” Gerard murmured, like there was something he wanted to say, but he was caught up again before he could continue. “Mm…”

“Hm?” Frank pulled back and opened his eyes to be met with Gerard looking back at him. He found himself slipping into the sweet intensity of his gaze, the feel of breath against his lips filling him with a desire for more.

“Should we…should we talk about this?”

Frank hummed. “Yeah, probably.” But he had already gone to brush his lips along Gerard’s jawline, planting a kiss just below his ear. He didn’t want to pull away now.

Gerard’s breath stuttered as Frank continued to decorate his face and his neck with kisses, showering him with endless affection. He gently tipped Frank’s head back with one hand tangled in his hair, and Frank caught him glancing down at his lips before making eye contact. “Actually, I think that can wait just a minute.”

Frank grinned and his chest bubbled with laughter. “I think you’re right.”

Then they were caught up in one another again, mouths connected and wanting and wordlessly asking for more. It all just felt so natural, like they’d done this a million times. Frank supposed it made sense, seeing as their bond was so intimate, and he was entranced by it.

He used his arms around Gerard’s neck to pull himself upwards, trying to get just a bit closer, and made a surprised noise when Gerard grabbed hold of his hips with firm hands. He gently pushed Frank over onto his back, then rested his forearms on either side of his head as if to surround him entirely. His upper body settled on top of Frank’s, pressing down against him, the feel of his weight overwhelming Frank’s senses and making his head spin even more. Frank deepened the kiss, opening his mouth wider, wanting everything.

They moved together languidly and released soft sighs, tongues pressing shyly into one other’s mouths on occasion, teeth grazing reddened lips. It was all dizzying euphoria.

“I love you so much,” Gerard whispered as his mouth moved from Frank’s, traveling to eventually plant kisses all along the column of his throat. His voice was all husky now, roughened up by the intensity of their exchange.

Frank gasped and tipped his head back, exposing more of his skin, pleasant chills running up and down his spine. “Love you more.”

“No fucking way.”

“Wanna bet?” Frank said, but it was impossible to say much else when he was melting under the warmth of all the affection he was being given. His words faded away into a soft whimper and he pulled Gerard closer.

A few seconds later, Gerard moved up to let his face hover over Frank’s, and they blinked at one another slowly in the soft light, peering with sleepy eyes. Gerard’s brows drew together a bit and he cradled Frank’s face in his hands, caressing his cheeks with his thumbs before he pressed another kiss to his lips, tender and caring enough to make absolutely anyone swoon. He pulled back and hid his face in the crook of Frank’s neck, eyelashes brushing against his skin.

“Do you think this was always supposed to happen?” Gerard asked.

“I don’t know.” Frank stroked Gerard’s hair absentmindedly, shivered at the feel of his lips brushing the side of his neck as he spoke. “I think it makes sense though.”

“Mm, yeah. I guess it works out really well too. You _are_ stuck with me forever.”

Frank chuckled and nodded. “Might as well fall in love with you, right? Sweetens the deal.”

Gerard smiled and nuzzled against his skin. “How long has it been?”

Frank really thought about it. He tried to think back to the first time Gerard had ever made him feel the way he did now, and he honestly couldn’t remember any specific moment. Frank knew he hadn’t _always _felt this way, even though the feelings between them had been intense ever since Gerard had gained the ability to be physically present. He didn’t think this outcome had been inherent either. The connection between them could have easily remained platonic, but it didn’t, which made this so much more meaningful. But his memories of spending the last month with Gerard blended together into a warm haze of contentment and chemistry and he wasn’t sure when the shift had taken place. “You know…I don’t really know.”

Gerard nodded. “Yeah, neither do I. I just know it started a little while after that day in the Woods.”

“You mean when you saved me?”

“Yes.” Gerard grinned again. “Maybe it’s a good thing you’re so stubborn.”

Frank laughed softly. “So, this makes up for that?”

“Hm… I _guess _so.” Gerard pulled back and hovered over him again, gazing at him with narrowed eyes. “But only if you kiss me again.”

How could Frank say no to that? “Ah, well, if you insist.”

He leaned up to conjoin their respective smiles and as if struck by tremors of electricity, Frank suddenly couldn’t contain himself. He took Gerard’s face in his hands and pulled him down, kissing him deeply, and what he’d intended to be a chaste exchange ended up going on for quite a while.

Gerard’s eyes stayed shut for a little while after they pulled away as if all he could do was feel, but they fluttered open eventually. His lips and his cheeks had both turned rosy hues of pink, and Frank was kind of overwhelmed all at once by how fucking beautiful he was. The ghost reached out and ran his thumb over Frank’s lips, then caressed his cheek, then tangled his hand in his hair.

Frank could feel himself blushing in response. It took some effort to even speak now. “So, is this just…gonna be a thing now?” he managed.

“Yeah, I guess so. As long as you want it to be.”

“I really do,” Frank said with a nod, before a sudden realization made a giggle rise up from his chest. “Fuck, you know what’s so dumb?”

“What?”

“A few weeks ago, Ray _literally_ said this would happen. This exact thing. I mean, he was joking, but he was totally right.”

Gerard chuckled. “Oh my god. How do you think he’ll feel about it?”

“Um.” Frank tried to imagine how Ray, or anyone else he knew, would react to all of this, and he honestly couldn’t. He was quite possibly the first person in history to kiss a ghost, but Malimore was already so steeped in paranormal activity that maybe no one would give a damn. Surely this kind of thing was going to happen to someone at some point in time, anyway. “I have no clue, but I feel like he’ll warm up to it no matter what. He likes you.”

Gerard smiled at that, crinkling the corners of his eyes. “Really?”

“Well, duh. I think everyone who knows about you likes you.”

“Man,” he said. “That makes me happy.”

“Aww.” Frank reached up and squeezed his shoulder affectionately. “I think it’d be pretty hard not to like you.”

Gerard raised an eyebrow and settled down on his forearms again, his hands resting in loose fists on either side of Frank. His hair was all messy now, sticking up a bit in the back and falling around his face. “Hm. I think you may be biased.”

Frank shrugged. “Maybe a little bit, but my point still stands.” He took one of Gerard’s hands in his own, running his thumb across the ridges of his knuckles.

“Nah, you just spent the last ten minutes kissing me. You’re biased as _fuck_.”

“Am not. It’s not like you cast a spell on me or anything.” A pause, and then, “Well…”

Gerard snorted and rolled his eyes. “That’s _so_ corny, Frank.”

Frank brought the ghost’s hand to his lips so he could press them sweetly against the back of it, giving him a playful smile. “You love it.”

“You’re right, I do. It’s cute.” And then Gerard gave him a kiss on the cheek.

Oh god. Frank’s stomach suddenly filled with butterflies, and the warmth he’d felt in his face earlier increased tenfold. He was sure he was noticeably red by now. “You think I’m cute?” he asked, even though it was kind of an obvious question.

Gerard raised his eyebrows. “Yeah, holy shit. You’re _so _cute.”

“Well, if I’m _so _cute then you must be off the fucking charts. Like, should-be-impossible cuteness levels.”

Gerard seemed lost for words for a second, and Frank regained a bit of his footing with the knowledge that he was flattering him. “Absolutely not.”

Frank shook his head. “You can deny the truth all you want, angel. Doesn’t make it any less true.”

“Shut up,” Gerard groaned, and Frank decided he was definitely going to start calling him that on a regular basis. “You can’t just- you can’t just _compliment _me. I don’t know how to handle that shit. You’re gonna kill me.”

“So you’d be, like, extra dead?” Frank giggled.

“Oh, yeah, for a minute there I forgot about that part.” Gerard looked at Frank with narrowed eyes and smirked. “I guess you just make me feel so alive.”

At that, Frank produced a long, over-exaggerated sigh. “You aren’t allowed to drop one-liners like that after getting on to me for being corny.”

“Sorry. I had to.” Gerard leaned up and briefly kissed him again. “You do make me feel alive, to be fair. Or at least as close to it as I can get.”

And then, after a moment, a somber look came over his face, darkening his features, and Frank wondered what he was going to say next. “I just…I want to enjoy this as much as we can, you know? Even if we don’t get a lot of time.”

Frank nodded, all the mess of the Fault and the vampires and the end of the world rushing back to him at once. He didn’t like it, but it was something he needed to take into account. “Me too. They say it’s best to live in the moment, right?”

Gerard nodded. “Exactly.”

Even if they couldn’t totally live in the moment, seeing as they were responsible for actually putting a stop to what was about to happen, Frank didn’t want their circumstances to ruin the mutual feelings they’d just discovered. He wanted to indulge in this new endeavor as much as possible with whatever remaining time they had.

“We need to be careful, though,” Gerard said. “I don’t want this to get us in trouble with the vampires. They _can’t _find out about it.”

“They won’t,” Frank insisted. “We’ve been careful so far, so we can be careful now.”

“Yeah…”

“We’re about to obliterate their asses anyway.” Frank was trying to convince himself just as much as he was trying to convince Gerard, honestly, but he didn’t want to let his stress ruin the present. For all he knew, this could be the last moment of peace they ever got.

“I can’t wait,” Gerard said very seriously.

“Me neither.”

They both fell silent. Frank reached to ruffle Gerard’s hair and mess it up even further, wanting to diffuse some of the apprehension that had built. He seemed to be successful – Gerard smiled and hid his face in the crook of his neck again, and Frank’s heart was so full he could hardly even _take _it.

It was raining much harder outside now, and Frank realized, as he listened to it pelt against the roof accompanied by the occasional roll of thunder, that this was kind of fucking perfect. Hell, they had just confessed their love to one another and now they were cuddling under ten million blankets in the middle of a rainstorm, and Gerard was wearing Frank’s clothes, and he would kiss Frank’s neck every now and then with those velvety soft lips.

The whole thing was so clichéd but now that Frank was experiencing it firsthand, he could understand why people enjoyed dreaming about scenarios like this one. Everything felt so soft and cozy and romantic. And in the midst of all the shit they were going through…damn it, they deserved a bit of cliché.

“Hey,” Frank said, breaking the silence, “remember how you said you wanted to watch a movie?”

“Mhm,” Gerard hummed. “Oo, can we?”

“Yeah! But you _are _gonna have to let me get up first.”

Gerard groaned and burrowed further against Frank’s neck. “That’s a lot to ask of me.”

“I know.” Frank didn’t want to get up either. He was warm and the air outside their cocoon was all too cold. “But I’ll be right back.”

“Mmph, alright.” Gerard sat up reluctantly, stretching as he did so, face scrunching up adorably. Frank already wanted to tackle him in a hug again.

He got up to search through the assortment of DVDs and VHS tapes crammed into the drawer underneath his TV. After several minutes of utmost indecision, they eventually decided on Blade Runner, and Gerard ended up with Frank halfway in his lap not five minutes later. Perhaps it was a good thing they’d both seen it several times already, because they were far too preoccupied with one another to pay it much attention.

* * *

Frank eventually needed to get back to work, and he apologized to Gerard profusely for it. Gerard insisted it was okay and ended up settling down at the kitchen table, keeping himself busy by drawing in a notebook Frank had given him. Frank couldn’t help but admire him as he concentrated; his hand moved slowly and deliberately, and he would worry his bottom lip between his teeth every time he really needed to focus. He looked so serene.

When Frank went to grab some notes from his room, he spotted the roughly drawn map Bert had given him lying on his dresser. It was then he realized that because Gerard had been gone for several days, he had no idea the two of them had gotten to know each other. Frank wondered how he would feel about that, wondered if he should even tell him… He came to the conclusion that he really needed to. This definitely wasn’t something he could just keep Gerard in the dark about.

Frank wandered back to his spot on the couch and thought hard about how to break the news. He’d never had to explain to someone that he’d been spending time with their best friend who happened to think they were long-dead, so it was obviously difficult to find the right words. He really didn’t want Gerard to be upset… He’d seemed pretty melancholy when they saw Bert in the square on Halloween, but Frank supposed that was to be expected. Gerard probably still missed him, after all.

“Hey.” Frank walked over to Gerard’s spot at the table after a little bit of rumination. He decided he was just going to have to suck it up and do it. “Can I tell you something?”

Gerard looked up at him quizzically. “Sure.”

“Um…” Frank scratched the back of his neck. “I don’t want it to make you upset, but it might, so…”

“Oh.”

“But I feel like it’d be wrong not to tell you.” He pulled out a chair and took a seat, drumming his fingers against the table. “Do you remember how we saw Bert on Halloween?”

“Yeah?” Gerard said, knitting his brow.

Frank took a breath. “Well, we kind of…got to know each other?”

Gerard was quiet, eyes a little wider than they had been a few seconds ago. He clearly didn’t know how to respond, and Frank couldn’t say he blamed him.

Frank quickly explained the whole incident in the library – how he and Bert had run into each other (literally) and started working together to put an end to the vampires’ plans. Gerard looked more and more confused as the story went on.

“So…he already knew about it?” Gerard asked.

“Yeah.”

He raised his eyebrows.

“I know,” Frank said. “All he’s really told me is that he’s been studying energy disturbances in San Francisco and that’s how he found out about it.”

“Huh.” Gerard leaned back in his chair, biting his lip as he pondered it all. “I’m surprised you trust him.”

“Well, he’s really done nothing but help us so far. And everyone else seems to think he’s alright.” Frank shrugged. “Why, do you not think he’s trustworthy?”

“No, I do,” Gerard said. “If he’s anything like I remember him, then I’m sure he’s helped you out a lot.”

Frank felt himself relaxing a bit, honestly relieved Gerard wasn’t upset. Or at least he didn’t seem to be. “Do you maybe…want to see him sometime?” he asked.

Gerard hummed and rested his chin in the palm of his hand. “Does he know about me?”

“I don’t think so,” Frank said. “Obviously I would need to talk to him about it first. I mean, he thinks you’ve been gone for years.”

“Of course. Don’t want him to fucking pass out or anything,” Gerard laughed. “Um, but yeah, I would like to see him again. I miss him, you know?”

Frank nodded. “Well, I can tell him later, see how he reacts. I imagine he’ll need some time to process it.”

“Sure,” Gerard said. “Yeah, that’d be great. Thank you so much, Frank.”

“Of course,” Frank said. He got up from his chair and went over to Gerard, resting his hands on his shoulders and leaning down to kiss the top of his head. He was grateful that had gone as well as it did, but now he had to explain everything to Bert, and he had a feeling that was going to be the hard part.

He glanced down at the notebook lying open on the table, lined paper covered over with dark lead marks and swaths of shading. The artwork immediately captivated him. “Whatcha drawing?”

“Oh, I don’t really know.” Gerard moved his hand away from the paper so Frank could see a little better. “Just whatever pops into my head, I guess.”

The drawings were all beautifully abstract and macabre – there were vague, shadowy silhouettes and what looked like spiral galaxies whose celestial arms warped into human faces, sharply contoured, staring into the distance as if pondering something impossible. There were cathedral-like buildings, all richly detailed, and mind-bending entities made up of tangles of limbs, and malnourished bodies that were intentionally unproportionate, either captured in unnatural poses or embracing one another. As dark as it all was, it was absolutely breathtaking. Frank couldn’t help but wonder how much of this was based on things Gerard had seen for himself.

“Dude. These are amazing,” Frank said.

“Ah, well, thanks.” Gerard’s voice was dismissive like he was trying to deflect the compliment. “I’ve missed drawing so much.”

Frank totally wanted to go out and get him a bunch of art supplies now. Not only to do something nice for him, but also so that Frank could see more of his work. He was intrigued by it.

“You’re really talented,” Frank said, squeezing one of Gerard’s shoulders. “Seriously.”

“Aw. Thank you, love.” Gerard leaned his head back against Frank’s chest, a contented smile on his face. “Maybe I should open up my own gallery someday. Exclusively for ghost art.”

Frank laughed. “Thinking like an innovator. I like it.”

Gerard had to go a little while later, but not before he gave Frank a farewell kiss that made his head spin. It was all so surreal, and Frank never wanted to _stop _kissing him now, as if he was newly addicted. He hoped Gerard would be able to return soon.

But if not, at least Frank knew now that the ghost was safe. That was what really mattered.

_ **11.10.2003** _

The next morning, when Bert happened to call Frank to offer him some more pointers on getting through the Woods, Frank decided now was a good time to break the news if there ever was one. He needed to do it while he still had enough confidence worked up, and if he waited any longer, he would surely become too nervous for his own good.

Bert, at some point during their conversation, started rambling enthusiastically about a history book he was reading and how the information was related to all of this. It was nerdy as hell, so naturally Frank was interested. He listened intently, chiming in every once in a while, and let Bert go on for as long as he felt like it. Frank really had no idea how to steer their discussion in the direction it needed to go.

Once there was a bit of a break in their conversation, Frank realized it was now or never. Well, probably not _never_, but he didn’t want to wait and work himself up over it any longer. He took a deep breath, and then he dove right in.

“Hey,” he started, “if you have a minute, there’s something I need to tell you.”

“Oh,” Bert said. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to go off on a tangent.”

“No, that’s fine,” Frank laughed. He genuinely didn’t mind; it had been an interesting tangent. It had also allowed him to procrastinate a bit longer.

“What’d you need to tell me?”

“Well. To preface, you’re probably gonna wonder why I didn’t say something sooner. There was just never a good time,” Frank said. “But I think you should know now.”

Bert paused for a moment. “Okay, what is it? You’re kinda scaring me. Making it sound all serious and shit.”

Frank laughed nervously. “Well.”

“Is it?”

“Yeah, it is.” He twisted the hem of his shirt around his fingers nervously. “But it’s not a bad thing. It’s really…I just didn’t want to catch you off guard with it.”

“I mean, how serious are we talking?” Bert asked.

“Pretty serious. Like, ‘it should be impossible but it’s happening anyway’ serious.”

“Now I _gotta _know. Spill it.”

Frank took a deep breath. “So, the vampires, right? We know all the souls they took are bound to living people.

“Yeah?”

“Yeah, so. I’m actually one of those people. And I’m…I’m bound to Gerard.”

Bert went dead silent and Frank began to wonder if he should’ve waited until a different time after all. Would this have been a better conversation to have in person?

Probably. No, definitely.

He was just about to ask if Bert was okay, make sure he hadn’t passed out or something, apologize for springing this on him so abruptly, when he spoke in a strained voice.

“You-” He cut himself off and had to clear his throat before he could continue. “You’re bound to Gerard? As in _my _Gerard?”

“Yes,” Frank said hesitantly.

“That means you’ve _seen_ him, right?”

“Yes.”

“I- How long have you known? _How _do you know?”

“It’s a long story,” Frank said. His voice was barely above a whisper at this point. He briefly recounted the times Gerard had visited him in his dreams and some of the incident in the Woods, but nothing more than that. He figured it’d be way too much to process at once.

Bert was quiet for a long time, but he eventually spoke again. “Holy shit,” he breathed, and he let out a long sigh. “_Holy_ _shit_. Okay. I’m sorry, I just need a minute.”

“That’s alright,” Frank said. “I know it’s a lot.”

“So he’s not- I just didn’t know he was still here. I always thought he was gone. Dead. _Actually_ dead.”

“He’s here,” Frank said, chewing on the inside of his cheek. “He wants to see you again.”

“He knows I’m in Malimore?”

“Yeah. Um, actually, he was with me on Halloween and we saw you in the square,” Frank explained. “I just…since we’ve gotten to know each other now, I thought you should know.”

“He really wants to see me?” Bert sounded like he was two seconds away from crying, and now Frank sincerely wished he’d just decided to ask him over or something. He couldn’t just listen to a person cry without wanting to give them a hug. It made his heart ache. But he couldn’t take it back now.

“He does. He says he misses you.”

“Oh.” Bert let out a breathy laugh. “Yeah, I…I wanna see him too.”

“So, um, maybe…” Frank tried to think about where to go with this now, and how the two of them meeting was actually going to work. “You could come over here and see him? Or I could just send him to you, if you wanted some more privacy.” He drummed his fingers slowly against his thigh. “He just wanted me to explain everything to you first. I can imagine him just _showing up _would’ve been kinda freaky.”

“Uh, yeah, just a little,” Bert laughed. “Wow. This is weird. Could we maybe talk more about this later? Like, maybe when I meet up with you guys tomorrow?”

“Yes, of course.” Everyone was meeting one last time tomorrow morning to finalize the plan, tie up any remaining loose ends. Frank was relieved he’d get a chance to talk to Bert about this face-to-face. “It’ll be easier in person.”

“Definitely,” Bert said. “I want some more time to think about it, too. It’s a lot to process.”

They talked for another twenty minutes at least – most of which was just Frank making sure Bert was okay and he was taking everything alright. He honestly couldn’t imagine hearing that kind of news for himself; not in the slightest. But now that it was all over, Frank was glad Bert and Gerard would be able to see each other again. Even if it was only one last time.

_ **11.13.2003** _

They were all going to the Woods in three days.

Lindsey and Jamia had finished gathering all the supplies they needed for their spell and there was about to be a full moon and Frank was _definitely_ stressed out about it, but somehow the knowledge that they would actually be _doing _something soon, taking some course of action, took the edge off a bit.

Everyone was coming over the night after next as a sort of last hurrah. Of course, everyone prayed dearly that it wouldn’t actually be their last time together, but none of them could know what the outcome of the next few days was going to be.

Gerard hadn’t been around too often for safety’s sake, but he tried to visit Frank for at least a few minutes once a day, just to let him know he was alright. And _fuck_, the more they interacted with this new context to their relationship, the more Frank found himself falling for him. It made his heart ache, because he knew it might not last much longer, but he allowed himself to enjoy it as much as he possibly could. They exchanged lots of hugs and kisses and whispered “I love you”s. Frank valued his company now more than ever.

The only person Frank had told about the change in their relationship so far was Lindsey, while they were talking about the plan over the phone. He’d sort of let it slip on accident at first, and then finally ended up actually confessing because he figured if anyone were to understand, it would be her. She’d said something like, “I wasn’t going to say anything, but I fucking knew it,” and Frank had genuinely burst into laughter because of course she had.

He wasn’t sure when or how to tell Ray and Jamia, even though he really didn’t want to keep it a secret from them. And after much thought and consideration, he eventually decided he’d only tell them as naturally as possible. If there was an opportunity to bring it up, he would do so. In the meantime, he and Gerard simply kept things under wraps when other people were around.

The two of them were just trying to enjoy one another as much as they possibly could, cherish every moment they had together and bask in the love that existed between them. The threat of impending doom still loomed on the horizon, and their days could very well be numbered, but they knew all they could do in the meantime was live.

* * *

The glow of the setting sun filtered in through the window, the only source of light present in the living room. It painted everything it touched an ethereal shade of gold, made the world feel warm and safe.

The radio set against the wall was turned to a low volume, playing a mellow song that filled the room with an air of nostalgia. There were cookies in the oven that Gerard had insisted on baking earlier, and while they waited on them to finish, Frank had ended up with his head against Gerard’s shoulder, the ghost’s arms wrapped around him as they swayed to the quiet music. Gerard hummed along to the melody with a breathy voice like satin, and Frank had his arms wrapped around his neck while they danced.

The golden hour made Gerard look like an angel. It brought out his features so beautifully, illuminated the toffee hues coloring his eyes. His freckles dotted his skin like stars. Frank was undeniably enchanted.

Gerard met his gaze, smiling and nudging the tips of their noses together, his eyes fluttering closed. Frank had never seen him look so contented before, like nothing else that was happening mattered at all. Like everything was going to be okay. He leaned close enough to brush his mouth against Frank’s, smiling as he sang the words of the song to him. His gentle voice and the feel of his velvet lips lit up every dark corner of Frank’s mind, igniting a glow of passion built upon embers of longing, sending up sparks of the most luminous want.

And then Gerard whispered, “There are a lot of things I’ve seen,” sounding wistful and faraway. “But I don’t think I’ve ever caught a glimpse of Heaven until now.”

Frank’s heart nearly burst, and _fuck_, he loved Gerard so much he could hardly stand it, and then he was leaning up and kissing him deeply. Gerard’s fingers threaded through Frank’s hair and everything became warm and slick, the gentle push of their mouths collaborating together underscored by saccharine warmth. It built in Frank’s stomach and in his brain, provoked him to push up on his toes and cling to Gerard like he was the only thing in the whole world. He was out of breath, head buzzing pleasantly, sighing in bliss. He just wanted to be closer, wanted more…

Frank supposed if Heaven was just a place, it wouldn’t be deserving of its name.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> {Hozier - Sunlight}
> 
> I based the descriptions of Gerard’s art off of Zdzisław Beksiński’s work! His paintings are beautiful - you should check them out if you haven’t seen them before.
> 
> I've had writer's block from hell lately, so I sincerely apologize if this chapter is lacking in quality at all. I wanted to try my best to update on time. :// I hope you still enjoyed the wholesomeness while it lasted!
> 
> P.S. I'm curious - what song do you think they danced to at the end?


	21. Galapagos

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter contains smut; if you'd like to skip it, the beginning and the end will be marked with asterisks.

_“And if we died right now, this fool you love somehow / Is here with you.”_

* * *

_ **11.14.2003** _

The light of the morning sun rained down like rosy glitter, interrupted as it fell to the earth in places where clouds hung directly overhead. The rolling cloudbanks on the southwestern horizon were a soft gray, carried by the wind and racing away from the Pacific to traverse miles upon miles of land. It was sometimes easy for one to forget the true beauty of nature when they were constantly surrounded by it, but Frank had a renewed appreciation for it knowing that in a few days’ time, it could all be swept away in the blink of an eye.

He was on the upper floor of the library, sitting in the same window seat he always did, staring through the panes of glass with a contemplative look on his face. As time had gone on, and as he had gone through the motions and processed what was going to happen a bit more, a small portion of his anxiety had been replaced with a neutral state of thoughtfulness. It was quite a relief. Now he was able to bask in his revitalized appreciation for things he had previously taken for granted, like the sky and warm cups of coffee and hearing his friends laugh. He’d been able to spend some time with most of said friends over the last few days, even the ones who had no idea any of the chaos was happening.

Frank had come to the library this morning to go over the specifics of the plan with everyone. They were all going to head to the clearing a little before midnight, during the last few minutes that made up November sixteenth. The moon was going to be full, and they were all going to be concealed by spells that diminished their auras. They would follow the path that Bert had drawn for them, and once they got to the clearing, the real work would begin.

Frank, Ray, and Bert were all responsible for keeping watch. They would be armed with purified weapons and monitors that would indicate any fluctuations in the energy around them. Meanwhile, Lindsey and Jamia would perform the spell and cast it towards Thaddaeus. It was going to be a two-person job, and it required an abundance of materials. The process was very clearly dangerous just by reading through all the steps.

Most notably, the original spell had called for the sacrifice of a small animal and the subsequent capture of its soul in a vessel previously cleansed in holy water. Then there was something about physically fragmenting its soul, and after reading through it all, Frank could understand how the spell could’ve gone horribly wrong. No living creature that walked the earth was meant to toy with the soul of another. And yet Thaddaeus had done exactly that, fueled by his own desperation, and continued to do so even to this day.

The discussion of the plan had taken around half an hour, and by now it was long over. Ray and Jamia had rushed off right after to go meet up with another friend at the Malimug, but Lindsey had a few hours of her shift left, so she was still around somewhere. Bert had gone back to his room at the town’s tiny inn, but he was going to Frank’s house later that day to see Gerard for the first time in over a decade. As Frank sat alone, he prayed to every single power in the universe that the five of them would come out successful on the other side of this.

A minute later, he spotted Lindsey reshelving a stack of books. He got to his feet and approached her, watching as she ran her fingers along the rows of alphabetized spines.

“Heading home?” she asked, knowing he’d come to stand beside her without even glancing over at him.

“I think so,” Frank said with a sigh. “I just wanted to thank you for all your help. I don’t think we could’ve gotten this far without you.”

“Oh, don’t mention it.” She looked away from her work for a moment to give him a warm smile. “Are you doing okay?”

“Yeah. I feel better now, almost like I’ve…made peace with it a little bit.”

Lindsey hummed. “That’s good. I know you were really struggling for a while.”

Frank nodded. “I was. Still am, really. It’s scary.”

“It is.” She shelved one final book and wiped her hands against her skirt, then pushed her glasses up the bridge of her nose. “I’m scared too, but I know it’ll end in whatever way it’s supposed to.”

Frank considered that for a moment, and then he lowered his voice, leaning closer to her. “Do you think we’re gonna be able to do it?” he asked. “Honestly?”

“Well, if that’s what’s meant to happen, then there’s nothing in the world that can stop us.”

And Frank supposed, technically, she was right. He found her outlook on the situation oddly comforting. They were still going to try their best, of course, but it was like she had resolved to surrender control to fate, or the universe, or whatever one might call it. Frank thought there was something admirable about that.

Lindsey turned to pick up another stack of books from the cart behind her. “How’s Gerard?”

“Oh, he’s doing alright,” Frank said. “I’m just trying to comfort him as much as I can right now.”

“Ah, that’s good. I really hope you two have plenty more time together.”

“Me too.” Frank sighed. He paused for a moment, and then said, “Hey, can I ask you something?”

“Of course.”

“Do you think…do you think it was inevitable? You know, ending up like we are now?” Even though Frank personally didn’t think it was, he’d still been wondering about it out of sheer curiosity. He was intrigued as to what Lindsey’s opinion was.

“Hmm. No, I don’t think so. A connection like yours doesn’t have to be romantic. In fact, I can imagine it rarely would be,” she said. “Sometimes it’s not even a positive thing at all – it can easily manifest as hatred under certain conditions. All it’s really guaranteed to do is inspire intense emotion between two people.”

Frank nodded at that. “Ah, okay. I just wondered what you thought. I guess I’ve never really…felt the same way about anyone else as I feel about him.”

Lindsey met his eyes and returned his smile. “I hope you can make the absolute most of it.”

“Yeah,” Frank said. “Me too.”

* * *

Frank sat with Gerard on the couch, with the ghost tucked snugly beneath his arm. Both of them were quiet, but that wasn’t the reason for the tension in the air. Gerard bounced his knee apprehensively, and Frank just watched him, knowing it was normal for him to be so restless in this situation.

“Fuck,” Gerard said, breaking the silence that hung around them. “I’m really nervous.”

“You’ll be okay,” Frank reassured him. He placed his hand over Gerard’s and turned his head to face him, offering him an encouraging smile. “I think it’s gonna be good for both of you; I’m happy you’re getting to see each other again.”

“Yeah,” Gerard said with a wistful look on his face. “I’ve really missed him… But what if he freaks out or something? What if doesn’t go well, or…?”

“Hey, it’ll be fine,” Frank said. “Just let it happen, you know? I’m sure he’ll be super stoked to see you.”

Gerard sighed. “Yeah…yeah, okay.”

As if on cue, there was a knock on the door. Gerard looked up towards the sound and Frank squeezed his hand affectionately, a silent reminder that no matter what, everything really would be okay. He just knew it.

“Do you want me to get it?” Frank asked.

“Yes please.”

Frank pulled away from Gerard and went to open the door, finding Bert right outside with his hands shoved into his jacket pockets. He looked just as nervous as Gerard did, if not a little more. Some of the color was drained from his face.

“Hey, Frank,” he said, voice quiet.

Frank gave him a warm smile, trying his best to be a generally reassuring presence, and opened the door wider for him.

“Hi, come on in,” he said. “Um, Gerard’s just…”

He trailed off and took a step back. Gerard had gotten up to stand a few feet away from the door, and he was currently staring at Bert with wide, glassy eyes full of shock and a slew of other emotions. He was completely still, had forgotten to breathe. His hands were curled into loose fists at his sides.

Frank thought he could hear Bert’s breath catch in his throat, and then there was only silence.

The two of them stared at one another like they were just trying to process what they were seeing. And in all honesty, they probably were. Frank doubted either of them had ever expected to see the other again and seeing the way their eyes had locked on one another, being able to feel the intensity of emotion between them secondhand, made him feel like he was intruding. However, the atmosphere was far too still for him to move now. He feared shattering it.

After what felt like hours, Bert pressed his fist to his mouth and blinked back the tears that had gathered in his eyes. He looked slightly faint. “Oh my god,” he laughed, soft and choked. “You look exactly the same.”

Gerard shrugged his shoulders and chuckled. He, on the other hand, had allowed his tears to tumble down his cheeks, some of them pooling along the ridge of his jaw. They glinted in the early afternoon sunlight, reflecting hues of gold. “You look…_not _exactly the same.”

“Ha, well, not everyone can transcend time. _Or _age with grace,” Bert said. His voice was far warmer than Frank had ever heard it.

They went quiet for another moment.

And then Gerard said, “I fucking missed you.”

“I fucking missed you too.”

Then they both embraced exactly how one might imagine friends would when they hadn’t seen one another in so many years. When they thought they’d lost each other, never to be found again, without a single shred of hope to soothe the pain of the other’s absence. It was incredibly touching. Frank sort of felt like crying too.

He decided to retreat to his room for a little while so they could have the chance to talk.

“I’ll give you some space,” he said with a smile and a nod. “Come find me if you need anything.”

Bert turned to face him and uttered a quiet, “Thank you so much,” and Frank knew it was for far more than just his decision to give the two of them some privacy.

He was just happy they could see one another again, even if it was only one last time.

* * *

A couple of hours had passed by the time Gerard came to find Frank, who had been wrapped up in reading a book he’d bought for himself about a month ago. Unfortunately, he’d been too busy to ever pick it up before today, but now he was finally mostly caught up on everything and just taking a little bit of time to himself had definitely been beneficial.

Bert didn’t stay much longer after that, even though Frank insisted he hadn’t overstayed his welcome. He thanked Frank one last time, pulling him into a hug, and said his farewells to the two of them before he was off to go have lunch. Frank swore he’d never seen him look so happy before.

A little while later he and Gerard were back on the couch getting ready to watch another movie, continuing the marathon they’d begun recently. The two of them had managed to get to a point where they could watch them together without missing over half the plot, but it was still a bit of a struggle. Not that Frank minded or anything.

“So,” Frank said once he sat down after gathering their usual pile of blankets, sitting with his back against Gerard’s chest and getting comfortable. “How’d it go?”

“It was really good,” Gerard said. “Holy shit, I swear I’ve never cried so much in my life.”

“Aw.” Frank smiled to himself. “That’s a good thing, right?”

“Yes,” Gerard laughed. “It was so fucking wild seeing him again. We just talked about…_everything_, I guess.”

Gerard had to leave a little while later, once a few hours had gone by, and Frank went about the rest of his day like he probably would have before all of this started – interspersing work with regular breaks and drinking coffee and texting Ray about a super over-the-top email this one lady had sent him about her garden gnomes being haunted. It wasn’t that the Fault had completely slipped his mind, because it certainly hadn’t. He’d just managed to find a little bit of peace and keep it from intruding into his thoughts every single waking moment.

Frank crawled into bed that night mostly free of the apprehension of nightmares or the fear that as soon as he turned off the lights, his mind would begin to race uncontrollably. In fact, he was able to fall asleep with relative ease.

Things would turn out however they were supposed to… It really was a terrifying but strangely comforting outlook to have.

_ **11.15.2003** _

*** * * * ***

Several hours went by.

It was nearing two in the morning. Frank was sprawled out on his stomach, lost in a deep, restful sleep for the first time in weeks. The external world was dim and quiet.

Internally, his eyes opened over an indefinite span of time, as if in slow motion. A kaleidoscope of colors traveled across his vision in incomprehensible shapes, moving and taking form as if they existed in another dimension entirely. The spectrum faded as his brain began to catch up with his now-wakeful state, and this time, when he was met with a sight deeper than darkness itself, he immediately knew he was dreaming.

Frank waited patiently for something to happen. He’d done this enough to know he was perfectly safe, or at least he dearly hoped so. If there was danger nearby he would’ve sensed it, but now all he could feel was calm, wrapped up in a sleepy haze and blinking slowly as his lingering exhaustion attempted to drag him back under.

A pinprick of light flicked into existence directly in front of him, like a star calling out to him in the void. Even though he had no way to judge distance in this place, he could somehow feel that it was very, very far away from him. Lightyears away, perhaps. Too great a stretch for him to ever cross in his momentary lifetime, so that only a faint glow was accessible to him. The star – or whatever it was – gradually increased in brightness until Frank could see his hands in front of his face, but nothing more than that.

He hummed to himself. He was tempted to go back to sleep. His relaxed muscles and heavy eyelids would make it oh-so easy, and the tiredness wrapping him up in a warm blanket seemed to call his name. His eyes slipped shut, his lips parted as his breathing became a bit deeper, and he could feel his mind beginning to slip away once again…

Until there was the brush of something soft as satin against the back of his neck.

Frank shivered. Goosebumps rose all across his skin. The sensation sent a wave of fuzzy warmth rippling through his body and he immediately wanted more of it. His eyes were too heavy to open but he called out with his thoughts, asking for more of the sweetness that had just been imparted to him.

And there it was again – like luxurious fabric or like angels’ wings – this time running up the side of his neck, stopping just underneath his ear, pausing and lingering and building the warmth that roiled across Frank’s skin. A deep sigh escaped through his lips, and he tilted his head to the side to expose more of his neck.

_Oh, _he thought to himself as he felt hot, vaporous breath against his skin. _Oh, _when the lips that had been tracing his neck disappeared, and a hand reached out to grab his shoulder and shake him.

Frank was suddenly wide awake.

He opened his eyes to be met with Gerard’s porcelain face. He was backlit by the soft ochre glow, reflected in his hair and giving him an ethereal appearance.

“Hi there,” Gerard said. “Sorry – I didn’t know you fell back asleep.”

“Mm, that’s okay.” Frank moved towards him until their chests were pressed together. He hid his face in the crook of Gerard’s neck, kissing the delicate skin there while his arms wrapped loosely around his waist. As happy as Frank was to see the other, he was surprised he was there. “What’s the occasion?”

“No occasion.” Gerard rubbed Frank’s back, tracing his spine. “I just missed you.”

That made Frank smile. “Baby…”

“And, you know, we only have a day left. Wanna make the most of it.”

“Oh, yeah,” Frank sighed. “Me too.” He looked up at Gerard through his eyelashes. The warmth that had been building up inside of him had faded away and he wanted more of it. He realized this could be one of their very last moments alone and he wanted to cherish it as much as they possibly could, so he closed his eyes and leaned upwards, searching for a kiss.

But then Gerard already had his lips captured in his own. It was full of passion from the start, spurred on by longing and the burden of their circumstances. But the longer they kissed, the more all of that began to slip away, and all that really mattered was the present moment. There they floated, tangled up in one another’s arms, like the desire that had built between them was personified.

Frank was restless and he needed something more than this in order to properly satiate his want. He took Gerard’s lower lip between his teeth and tugged, drawing a gentle exhale from the other, and when he let go his action was quickly reciprocated by the ghost. Gerard ran the tip of his tongue over Frank’s lip, across the indentions his teeth had made, before lazily repeating the action, taking all the time he pleased.

Frank sighed and let his jaw fully relax, mouth opening further as a silent invitation. Gerard’s tongue brushed past his lips, gently dipping into his mouth and pressing against the flesh there in a way that was almost polite, running across Frank’s own tongue and making him melt further into the other’s arms.

“Mm…” Gerard slowly parted from Frank with a soft pop, planting a kiss on the corner of his mouth before dragging his lips down to run along his jaw. He took the shell of Frank’s ear between his teeth, scraping the flesh gently, inhaling deeply as if to breathe him in.

“_Gee_,” Frank whispered, fingers twining into the ghost’s silky hair.

“I’ve got you, love,” Gerard murmured. His lips wandered down Frank’s neck to the dip of his left collarbone and he hummed contentedly as he planted more kisses there. He pressed his fingers firmly against Frank’s hips, feeling him, savoring him.

“More,” Frank sighed. He didn’t know what exactly his idea of “more” entailed, but whatever it was, he needed it. “_Please_.”

Gerard’s lips quirked up into a smile. “More?”

“Mhmm.”

“Well, since you asked so nicely…”

Gerard’s teeth sank into the junction between Frank’s neck and shoulder, pulling and sucking and turning the skin there a shade of red. Frank’s gut twisted, and he drew in a gasp that he released as a soft _ooh_, tugging on the dark locks tangled around his fingers. Gerard broke the suction his lips and teeth had created before smoothing his tongue over the skin now blossoming with color, exhaled cold air against it that fanned out like the softest feathers. The area was sensitive now, and Frank whimpered and shivered in the ghost’s arms.

“How much more do you want?” Gerard asked.

“Whatever you’ll give me. _Anything_,” Frank breathed. “I would take it all. Please.”

Gerard moaned under his breath and pressed his face into the crook of Frank’s neck again. “I would love to give you more.” His hands gradually slid down from Frank’s waist, over the gentle slope of his hips, and down and around his back to squeeze the swell of his ass.

Frank made a small surprised noise before he could stop himself, but it quickly melted away into a sigh as Gerard’s hands continued to rub over his ass and his hips and his lower back, taking his time exploring every inch of skin there.

He wrapped his arms around Gerard and clung to the back of his shirt, shivering underneath his touch. And he wasn’t entirely sure how physics worked in this realm, or if they really applied at all, but Gerard began to lean him back and suddenly he felt as though he were resting on something warm and billowy, like a cloud of darkness had caught and cradled his body. He was flat on his back now, arms falling to rest on either side of his head, and Gerard was halfway on top of him.

“Hey…if you’re ever uncomfortable at all, you can tell me, okay?” Gerard said, looking down at Frank with sincere eyes. “Please don’t feel pressured into anything. I want you to enjoy this.”

Frank nodded. “Okay. Same goes for you.” He wanted Gerard to feel as safe and comfortable as possible, and it warmed his heart to know that the ghost clearly wanted the same thing for him.

Gerard smiled. “I love you, baby.”

Frank’s stomach leapt as Gerard crawled over his body, swinging one leg over his hips to straddle him. “I love you too. So much.”

Gerard leaned down to kiss him and placed his hands on Frank’s upper arms, running them upwards so they could wrap around his wrists. Every atom in Frank’s body was singing, hypnotized by the feel of Gerard’s body on top of his. Their bonded souls brought them together in beautiful harmony. He was pulled out of his thoughts a few moments later by Gerard moving his hands slowly back down his sides, and the way his hips were situated now was _almost _what Frank craved, but not quite. It was already starting to make him squirm with want.

Gerard reached for the hem of Frank’s shirt, sliding just the tips of his fingers underneath it. “Can I take this off?” he asked.

Frank nodded quickly, touched by how sweet Gerard was, how he wasn’t in any rush. When he pulled the shirt up and over Frank’s head he paused to gaze down at him and ran his tongue briefly over his lips.

“You’re so gorgeous,” he said, leaning down to kiss the column of Frank’s throat.

Frank giggled. “That’s totally an exaggeration.”

“Is not.”

“Yeah, it is too.”

Gerard made a displeased noise and reached up to pinch one of Frank’s nipples in lighthearted retaliation. It wasn’t very hard – the action had clearly been playful – but Frank gasped shrilly in surprise and pushed his chest up a bit.

Gerard paused, pulling back and glancing up at Frank with curiosity in his eyes. He hesitated a moment before he used both his thumbs to begin rubbing circles over Frank’s chest, and the touch felt so potent that Frank whined and arched into it, bolts of electricity flying across his skin. All he wanted right now was for Gerard to explore as much of his body as he pleased – every stretch of skin and every erogenous zone.

Gerard finally shifted his hips a few inches and rolled them down against Frank’s, firm and slow, and it created delicious friction that caused them both to moan outright. Frank could feel Gerard pressed against him, quickly becoming hard, and all the want he’d felt before increased tenfold.

That was over quickly though, and Gerard was back to his teasing. His lips traveled down Frank’s upper body, pressing kisses all the way down to his sternum, before he took both nipples between his fingers and pinched again, harder this time, continuing to roll them between his fingers.

“Fuck, mm…” Frank arched his back into the wonderful sting and pulled at the hair twined around his hands, relishing the sensation.

As Gerard made his slow descent down Frank’s body, his hands eventually went with him, short fingernails scraping along Frank’s sides and causing chills to spread across his skin. The ghost’s lips moved against Frank’s stomach, kissing and sucking, and traced the ridges of his ribcage that protruded slightly every time Frank took a deep, shuddery breath, releasing them as delicate moans as he was showered in love and affection.

Gerard’s mouth eventually moved down below Frank’s navel. He kissed his abdomen and nosed along the band of the sweatpants situated low on his hips.

Frank was biting his lip, becoming desperate. He was now aching to be touched, whining and squirming around, on the verge of outright begging. He propped himself up on his elbows and met Gerard’s eyes for half a second, just before Gerard leaned forward and nuzzled against his clothed cock. It was simultaneously one of the hottest and one of the most adorable things Frank had ever seen.

His head lolled back, and he pushed his hips up into the contact with a breathy curse. When he felt Gerard hook his fingers under the waistband of his pants, he glanced down at him again.

Gerard’s eyes were questioning, asking permission without using any words. Frank nodded emphatically and the other tugged his pants down past his knees, placing his hands firmly on his inner thighs and going to kiss the sensitive skin there. Occasionally he would press a few to the head of Frank’s cock, letting his tongue flick out to lick across his slit, and Frank was definitely going to lose his fucking mind. He moaned and kicked the fabric bunched around his legs the rest of the way off, just about to reach his tipping point and beg Gerard to _do something _when the ghost crawled back up his body and swept him up in a passionate kiss.

Frank’s hands roamed all across Gerard’s back, bunching up his shirt in his fists and pulling it up a few inches at a time. Gerard eventually pulled it over his head in one swift movement and Frank took the opportunity to run his hands over his chest and shoulders, taking him in every time he pulled back for breath. He was all pale, satin skin, dotted with a few scars and other marks and the faintest freckles on his face and shoulders. He was soft but strong, and his arms looked like home, the safest place to hide. Frank adored every single piece of him.

“I love you,” Gerard whispered against Frank’s ear. “_God_, I love you. You’re so fucking beautiful, every inch of you…”

Frank sighed and mouthed at Gerard’s neck, sucking at the skin underneath his jaw. “Please, I… please take me,” he breathed. “I want you. Want everything.”

Gerard moaned softly. “Mm, my love…”

Frank reached down to palm the front of Gerard’s jeans, watching as his eyes fluttered shut and his mouth fell open, letting out a long sigh.

“I would-” Gerard’s breath hitched. “I would love to give you everything.”

Frank hummed and began unzipping the other’s jeans, undoing the button with careful fingers and pushing them down his hips. Gerard moved to kick them off the rest of the way, leaving them both vulnerable to one another. But in this instance, Frank found that vulnerability beautiful.

Gerard leaned over him again, connecting their lips in a heated kiss, and rolled his hips slow and firm against Frank’s. Both groaned into one another’s mouths as their cocks slid together, slick with precum, creating delicious, eye-rolling heat. Frank wrapped his legs around Gerard’s waist and already, the feeling of their bare skin pressed together was a new breed of divine.

“Wait,” Gerard whispered, pulling back an inch, stilling his fevered movements.

Frank’s brows pulled together in concern. “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing’s wrong,” Gerard answered. “I just want this to be as real as it possibly can be.”

“What do you mean?”

“I want you to wake up.”

_Oh. _Frank didn’t mind the sound of that at all. “Is it safe for you to cross over right now?”

Gerard nodded. “Yeah, I’ll be okay.”

“Alright.” Frank grinned and pressed a kiss to his cheek. “Sounds great to me, then.”

Gerard hummed, the most radiant smile on his face. “I’ll see you in a minute.”

And then Frank was gradually plunged into darkness, as if on command, watching as Gerard’s beautiful face faded into oblivion. He could feel the clouds of ink wrapping around his body, brushing his bare skin like feathers, pulling him somewhere far, far away…

He lost consciousness for a moment, and when he came to again, he was lying in his bed, now on his back with the sheets twisted all around him.

Frank sat up with excitement coursing through him. He looked around for Gerard and couldn’t spot him right away, but he knew the ghost wouldn’t be far behind.

In the meantime, Frank busied himself stripping his clothes off his body. One of the first things he noticed upon inspecting his bare skin was the red marks on his inner thighs that most _definitely _hadn’t been there before, and he supposed the whole experience must’ve bled into the physical realm more than he thought. Not that he minded at all…as his eyes swept across his skin, surveying the scattered blossoms of color, he decided he really loved them.

The ghost appeared behind Frank a moment later, startling him at first by wrapping his arms around his waist. Frank jumped and Gerard just giggled under his breath, mumbled a sincere apology, quickly made up for it by kissing Frank’s neck and sliding his hand down between his thighs where he was still hard and leaking. Frank mewled and pushed his hips up into Gerard’s fist.

“Gee,” Frank whimpered. “I can’t- I love you but you’re driving me fucking crazy.”

Gerard chuckled under his breath. “Am I?”

“_Yes_.” Frank leaned his head back against Gerard’s shoulder, groaned as he thumbed at his slit. “Mm…just need you to fuck me. Sometime soon would be nice.”

Gerard took in a breath, like he was surprised, before exhaling hotly. “Shit, okay. Yeah, that’s…definitely something I can do.” He gave Frank’s cock one last squeeze before he slowly pulled his hand away. “Um, do you have lube?”

“Yeah.” Frank turned around a bit and gestured vaguely towards his dresser that sat against the wall behind him. “Second drawer.”

Gerard slid off the bed and rummaged through the drawer Frank had directed him to, and Frank couldn’t help but turn and admire him as he did so, taking in his beauty in its entirety.

Then Gerard paused his search for a moment, snapping Frank out of his thoughts. “Hey…”

“Hm?”

“Do you think I, like…_need _this?” He turned around and held up a condom, visibly sheepish.

And, well, Frank didn’t know the answer to that. This wasn’t a situation he’d ever…expected himself to be in. “Um.” He scratched the side of his head. “I don’t… You know, back when I was still a paranormal studies major, they never really taught me about this.”

Gerard narrowed his eyes. “_Man_, I wonder why.”

“No clue,” Frank laughed. “Well, I’d say use it anyway. Better safe than sorry, right?”

“Right.” Gerard sat down on the edge of the bed and set the lube on the nightstand, and Frank grabbed the condom from his hand before he could open it.

“Here, let me,” he said, shuffling closer.

“What? You think I don’t know what I’m doing?” Gerard asked amusedly.

Frank smiled and rolled his eyes. “_No_, I don’t think that. I just…”

In reality, he’d decided about five minutes ago there was no way in _hell _he was going out without sucking Gerard’s dick at least once, so that was exactly what he was about to do. However, he wanted it to be a surprise.

He leaned forward and planted a kiss over Gerard’s collarbone. “Just a minute, just let me…” His voice faded away and he lowered himself down on the bed so he could run his lips across Gerard’s abdomen, meanwhile wrapping his fingers around his cock that was curved up against his stomach, the crown flushed a demanding shade of red. Frank began slowly moving his hand, twisting his wrist.

“O-okay,” Gerard breathed, going to run his fingers through Frank’s hair. “I’m not complaining or anything.”

Frank hummed, a smile gracing his face, taking a moment to suck a mark into the swell of Gerard’s hipbone. He pulled away and nuzzled against the crease of his thigh, quietly said, “I love you so fucking much.”

And then he moved to lick up Gerard’s shaft, breathing hotly against him, before taking him into his mouth, sliding down slowly and giving himself the chance to adjust to his length.

Gerard let out a strangled moan and tightened his fingers around Frank’s hair, obviously struggling to keep from rolling his hips up, and Frank began moving up and down around him, allowing his throat to relax and his tongue to move languidly. He loved the way Gerard’s hips would twitch, the way his thighs would tremble for just a few seconds at a time, all the breathy noises that spilled one after another from his mouth. Frank kept going for longer than he’d intended, fully enjoying himself, moaning around the cock in his mouth like _he_ was the one being pleasured…

“Fuck, fuck, Frank, you gotta-” Gerard gasped and tugged on Frank’s hair a bit. “You gotta stop now.”

Frank groaned in protest and pulled off Gerard’s cock with an obscenely slick sound, licking his lips and blinking up at the other with watery eyes. But obviously, he couldn’t be _too_ disappointed when he knew what was coming next.

“God,” Gerard breathed, running his thumb over Frank’s swollen lips. “You’re so good. Fuck.”

“I try,” Frank said with a grin. His voice was all hoarse now, and he gave Gerard’s hipbone one last kiss, stomach twisting with thrills of excitement.

Gerard hummed, taking a moment to recover before looking down at Frank with darkened eyes. “Alright…go ahead and lay back for me now.”

And that’s exactly what Frank did. He shifted around and rested on his back with his head against the pillows, watching intently as Gerard went to grab the lube still resting on the nightstand. He felt like he could combust with anticipation.

“Okay…” Gerard poured some of the lube over his fingers, going to rest between Frank’s legs and looking up at him with an intense gaze. “You ready?”

“Mhm.” Frank moved around, getting himself comfortable. He felt a bit shy being so exposed, but he resolved to ignore it, letting his legs fall open a bit more. He knew he would be forgetting about that very soon, anyway… “Go ahead.”

Gerard waited a beat before pressing the pad of his middle finger against Frank’s entrance, taking the time to coat his rim with lube using a delicate touch. The sensation made Frank suck in a shuddery gasp. And then, after a moment, Gerard slid his finger inside in one slow, fluid movement; Frank was relaxed enough that it wasn’t much of a struggle at all. Gerard began to move in and out and rested the side of his face against Frank’s bent knee, admiring the way his brows drew together and his lips parted to make way for heavenly noises.

Frank moaned and leaned his head back, closing his eyes and just feeling. His fingers curled loosely around the bedsheets, and the fact that this was Gerard specifically made everything impossibly better. He was begging for more before long, rocking back against Gerard’s hand and whimpering every time his fingers brushed against his prostate. His body became more and more pliable until Gerard had three digits pressed inside his hole, fucking into him gently as he adorned his thighs with kisses and lovebites. Frank was already a mess, and if he was falling apart just from this, he couldn’t even _imagine_…

“I’m ready. Please, baby,” he moaned. “Mm, _fuck_, need you so bad, _so_ bad…”

A few moments of silence, and then, “Okay, love.” Gerard gently pulled his fingers away and went to grab the condom that had been left resting on the mattress. “I won’t make you wait any longer.”

Frank kept his eyes closed, just listening as Gerard rolled on the condom and spread some more lube over his cock, pumping himself a few times and gasping out softly. Frank licked his lips, the want inside of him burning and filling his gut, eyes opening as Gerard finally crawled over his body.

Their gazes locked. Gerard’s eyes softened as he stared down at Frank. His brow furrowed a bit and he brought a hand up to caress the side of his face, fingers settling underneath his chin.

“Love you,” Frank whispered for what could’ve been the millionth time, but he didn’t care to keep count. He would say it over and over again until he took his last breath, or until the world crumbled beneath his feet.

“Love you too.” Gerard smiled, warm and crooked and familiar. He reached down between their bodies to line himself up with Frank’s entrance, applying a gentle pressure that made the other’s eyelids flutter. “Are you ready?”

Frank nodded quickly. He reached up to wrap his arms around Gerard’s neck, closed his eyes again and just focused on relaxing his muscles. And as Gerard pushed into him in one slow movement, Frank swore he just completely ceased in functioning for a minute, frozen with his mouth shaped around a moan as he adjusted to the delicious stretch, the slight burn. He was overwhelmed by the fullness and the slick drag and the intense feeling of belonging coursing through his veins. Gerard kept moving until he was all the way inside, and he was breathing hard against the crook of Frank’s neck, releasing soft moans. Frank didn’t snap back to reality until he heard the sound of Gerard’s voice.

“Can I move?” he asked, slightly strained.

“Yeah. Yeah, you can move.”

Gerard gently took hold of Frank’s thighs and pushed them back towards his chest a bit, beginning to rock carefully into him. Frank already felt as though he was floating away, higher and higher into some realm of bliss. He pushed his hips up to meet Gerard’s and clenched tightly around him.

“Oh my god,” Frank breathed. “Feels so good…”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah… _Ahh_. You don’t have to be so gentle, either.”

Gerard groaned low in his throat in response before he pushed Frank’s thighs up further with his hands and, not a second later, thrusted into him so deep that Frank’s eyes rolled back into his head. Gerard had stroked hard against his prostate, leaving Frank keening and rolling his hips back up, nearly seeing stars.

“_Gerard_,” he practically sobbed, arms and legs wrapping around the other’s body and pulling him close. His thrusts were slow and sweet as he took his time, but each one was so fucking deep, brushed firmly against every single nerve ending until Frank was crying out for it. “O-oh…_fuck_.”

Gerard slid his arms underneath Frank in order to hold him close to his body, showing the extent of his love with his entire being. They were both moaning, heads spinning, whispering sweet nothings against the other’s skin. It was like they’d been swept away into another realm, their own special heaven reserved just for the two of them, where the bliss of their intimacy filled the air as they gave themselves to one another, made love like it was the very last time they would ever be in one another’s arms. And it may very well have been.

Frank trembled and sank his nails into the flesh beneath his fingers. The world around him seemed to become hazy, leaving Gerard as a focal point. He was slipping away in the best way possible, drowning in the warm kisses being scattered across his skin like falling rain, toes curling as his body was filled with golden light. He had never felt this kind of closeness with another person before – like they had melded together, like all the lines between them had blurred and faded away.

“I’m close,” Frank panted after what could’ve been several wonderful eternities. He reached down to wrap his hand around his cock and stroked himself in time with Gerard’s thrusts, and his pleasure increased tenfold, the sounds spilling from his mouth amplified and drawn out.

“You’re so beautiful like this.” Gerard quickened his movements, put more force behind them, pressed deeper. “I’m so lucky…I’m so lucky I’m yours.”

“I’m so lucky _I’m _yours,” Frank said, smiling as he sighed in ecstasy. “Please…”

Gerard drove into him, panting against his skin. “Cum for me, love.”

Frank gasped out, clinging on to Gerard like a lifeline with one hand and stroking himself faster with the other, feeling himself rapidly unraveling like a string being pulled from a swath of fabric. He came undone with a cry, arching off the bed as he fell apart in Gerard’s arms, head buzzing and spirit being carried somewhere far away, somewhere warm and wonderful. Gerard fucked him through it, maintaining his pace as Frank came down from the crest of his high.

Frank whined quietly in the back of his throat, oversensitive and blissed out, but he clenched around Gerard’s cock with what strength he had left. “C’mon, angel,” he whispered. “You’re doing so good…”

Gerard moaned brokenly, thrusts stuttering, and rocked his hips at an irregular pace as he came a few moments later. He grabbed on tight to Frank’s hips and kept making these blissed out noises against the crook of his neck that sounded like honeyed sin, made Frank feel all warm again as tired as he was.

Gerard all but collapsed on top of him once his orgasm had passed, entirely spent. They laid there catching their breath, caressing one another’s skin with feather-light fingertips.

“You’re so amazing, Frank,” Gerard whispered.

Frank broke into a sleepy grin. “So’re you.”

They took several minutes to recover before moving to clean up. Frank decided he wanted a shower even though it was around three in the morning now, and Gerard eagerly joined him, snickering over the fact that he hadn’t showered in literal _years_. Frank giggled along with him as he washed the ghost’s hair, gently massaging his scalp and adorning his shoulders with kisses.

Gerard said he was able to stay until Frank fell asleep. Frank gladly crawled into the ghost’s arms and hid his face away against his bare chest, tucked away under bedsheets and darkness, and Gerard rubbed circles between his shoulder blades, his slow and steady breaths quickly lulling Frank to sleep. Everything else fell away around them like confetti.

*** * * * ***

* * *

Many hours later darkness had spread across the town again. The day had come and gone, the sun had blazed its trail across the pale blue sky, and nighttime had fallen. It was the night of November fifteenth; the last night before the full moon.

The hour was late enough that the town had mostly fallen quiet, but early enough that warm yellow lights still flickered through the windows of restaurants and shops and homes, glittering in a way that resembled the expanse of stars above. There was an air of innocence, of nostalgia, and the lingering weight of all the days left to be lived. Even now, time slipped between the fingers of mortals like sand.

The night was calm, and it was beautiful, but it ached. Knowledge ached. Staring eternity in the face with no clue as to how it would play out ached like the beginnings of a heart attack.

But these were the final hours. Such an ache couldn’t be totally satiated with laughter, but that didn’t mean there was no point in laughing at all.

That’s exactly the sound that bounced off the walls, flew through the air and radiated hope. Frank sat on his kitchen countertop while Jamia leaned against the space beside him. Gerard and Bert sat at the table, periodically falling into hysterics over inside jokes they passed from one to the other, and Lindsey watched them with a look of amusement on her face. Everyone was chattering noisily with one another. It was all warm and happy.

But something unpleasant lingered in the back of Frank’s mind, and that was the fact that Ray had left a little while ago.

He’d stepped out of the room to take a phone call and had come back looking somber, quickly murmuring to Frank that he needed to go check up on a client and he would be back shortly. He’d said Frank was free to stay, that it was alright, that he could take care of it by himself. Now it had been around twenty minutes and Frank was becoming more and more worried with every second that passed.

He managed to ignore it for the most part as everyone continued to talk, but he was ready for the moment he received a phone call or a text from Ray, asking him for help or offering him an explanation or…_something_. Anything to alleviate the sinking feeling in the pit of his stomach.

And then, ten minutes later, Ray quietly slipped through the front door with a blank expression on his face, skin much paler than it normally was. He had his fist pressed over his heart as if to soothe it.

Frank noticed his arrival right away and immediately hopped off the counter to go to him. His brow furrowed in concern as he picked up on the change in Ray’s demeanor, and he placed a hand on the other’s arm in order to get his full attention. “Hey, what’s wrong?”

No one else in the room was paying them much attention right now. Ray took a deep breath and looked around nervously, his gaze sticking to where Gerard sat for a couple of beats and looking almost apologetic. “Frank…I think something bad happened.”

Frank didn’t say anything. He just looked at Ray and waited for him to explain what he meant, heart racing with apprehension. The past few days had gone so well, all things considered, but of course it was all too good to last. Of course there had to be something to come along and pollute it furthermore.

Ray glanced down at his shoes, then looked up at Frank, and took in a shaky breath before he spoke in a scared voice. “Mikey’s gone.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> {The Smashing Pumpkins - Galapagos}
> 
> I really didn't mean to update on this specific day, it just kinda worked out that way?
> 
> Thanks for reading, as always! <3


	22. Early Sunsets Over Monroeville

_“And there’s no room in this hell / There’s no room in the next.”_

* * *

_ **11.15.2003** _

“What do you mean Mikey’s gone?”

Frank had ushered Ray into his room so they could talk without being overheard. Muffled sounds of chatter still filtered through the walls, so at least their decision to step away didn’t seem to have caused much concern. The last thing Frank wanted right now was for everyone else to worry when even he didn’t fully understand what was going on.

Ray let out a long exhale. His arms were crossed over his chest and he paced around the room like it was the only thing keeping him together. “He called me,” he said. “He called me, and…as soon as I saw his name pop up, I knew something was wrong. I just _knew _it. He told me he was hearing weird noises in his house, and you know how those kinds of things go – I wouldn’t normally rush over there just because of that.”

Frank nodded as he listened intently. He was leaning against the door, tapping his foot restlessly against the carpet.

“But Frank,” Ray pressed his fingers against one temple, “this time, I _knew_. So, I had him stay on the phone the whole time I was driving over there. I didn’t end the call until right as I was walking up to the door. But as soon as I went in it was just-” He ran his hands over his arms that were now covered in goosebumps. “I knocked. Nobody answered. Then I tried the door – turns out it was unlocked – and when I went in it was just like he never left.”

Frank raised his eyebrows in question.

“The lights in his living room were on, his keys and wallet were still there, there weren’t any signs of forced entry,” Ray explained. “Hell, his phone was just sitting on one of his couch cushions. I just…I don’t know.”

“But he wasn’t there?” Frank asked.

Ray shook his head. “No. I looked fucking everywhere, which was probably a really stupid thing to do all alone. But I couldn’t find him. I couldn’t find _anything_. It was just his house, just like normal.”

Frank sighed and rubbed his hand over his forehead. “Okay. How long were you off the call before you went in?”

“I dunno, maybe twenty seconds? Tops? He didn’t even sound distressed, just kinda creeped out. I thought there was no _way _something could happen to him in so little time, but I guess I was wrong.”

Frank nodded slowly, considering all the new information. “You’re seriously sure he wasn’t there?”

“I’m positive, man. I checked the entire house.”

“Well. Shit.”

They were both silent for a long, tense moment, thinking over all the possibilities and what this could mean and what in the hell they were going to do about it.

And then Ray broke the silence. “Frank,” he said in a serious voice. “What if he’s the last soul they need before…?”

Heightened fear infiltrated Frank’s being at that, flooding him with hot nausea like a sucker punch to the stomach. “No.” He squeezed his eyes shut. “Don’t say that.”

“Yeah, neither of us like it, but what if he is?” Ray said. “I know we’ve both been thinking it.”

“Jesus Christ, that would…” Frank exhaled. “We would have to go to the Woods, like, _now_.”

“I know… I was thinking about calling the police or something, but then I realized that could put everyone in a lot more danger. Y’know, if the vampires are involved.”

“You really think they took him?” Frank looked up at Ray, searching and hoping for any sign of doubt written across his face. “You don’t think it could’ve been anything else?”

“Nothing I can come up with,” Ray said. “I think we should go back to his house and double-check everything again. I don’t wanna run the risk of letting them take his soul all because we were too busy looking for another explanation.”

“Yeah…” Frank said. “Probably best to assume the worst.”

“It was just so _weird_. It all happened so fast,” Ray sighed. “Didn’t Gerard go without a trace like that too?”

“Yeah. He did.” Frank’s voice trembled as he made the realization. “_Shit_, I really don’t wanna tell him about all this. This is his worst nightmare.”

It was already stressful enough for Frank and Ray, but Frank knew this scenario was what Gerard had been actively trying to avoid for years and years. What’s more, Frank couldn’t help but wonder if this was his own damn fault. If Mikey really had been taken by the vampires, was it because they were angry with Gerard? Had he been spending too much time away because of Frank? Had they found out about the two of them?

The wave of guilt that flooded Frank’s body only doubled the intensity of his nausea, and he really felt like throwing up then and there.

“I’m sorry,” Ray said quietly. “I wish this wasn’t happening…”

Frank nodded. “Me too.” He exhaled and pushed himself away from the door, standing up straight and shifting his weight from foot to foot. “Well…we should probably get going as soon as we can. Maybe some of us should go to the Woods and some of us should go to his house.”

“That sounds like a good idea,” Ray said. “Do you wanna… Maybe I can go tell everyone else and you can bring Gerard in here and talk to him alone. Unless you want me to help you out.”

“Yeah, actually, I think it’d be better if he had some space.” Frank wasn’t too sure how Gerard would react, but he could imagine it wasn’t going to be good. He hoped giving him some privacy would help him out a bit.

“Alright.” Ray nodded and cleared his throat, and then it was eerily quiet between the two of them again for several long minutes charged with uncertainty. The change in the atmosphere now compared to ten minutes ago was extreme.

“This is really happening,” Frank breathed.

“Yeah. Not exactly how I wanted to spend my Saturday night.”

Frank smiled sadly to himself. And then he murmured, “Let’s go,” and opened the door into the hallway, unable to bear waiting any longer. He knew this next conversation would be one of the hardest he’d ever had in his life.

He couldn’t help but feel like this was the beginning of the end.

Over the last few days, Gerard had appeared happier than Frank had ever seen him. And right now, as he sat with stars in his eyes, blissfully unaware, Frank’s heart broke for him. He knew from what Gerard had told him that he still went to check up on Mikey regularly. He was aware he was a calming presence for his brother, even if Mikey wasn’t fully aware that the energy he felt was Gerard’s. And yet, in the interest of Mikey’s safety, Gerard hadn’t even had the chance to properly speak to him since he disappeared. Frank hated to think all of that was for nothing. He hated to think all the sacrifices Gerard had made – which he still refused to talk about in detail – had been in vain. It made him absolutely sick.

“Hey, Gee,” Frank said in a soft voice, going to stand beside the ghost placing a hand atop his shoulder. “Can I talk to you about something?”

Gerard looked up at him with curiosity written across his face, but he appeared so unconcerned. Frank’s chest hurt almost unbearably.

“Yeah?” Gerard said.

“I mean…” Frank looked up at Ray, who gave him a reassuring nod. “In private. It’ll just take a few minutes.”

Gerard’s brows drew together worriedly then, and he slowly rose from his chair to walk with Frank to his room. “What’s going on?”

Frank shut the door behind them and heard Ray begin to speak to the others outside, his voice low and muffled. He took Gerard’s hand and led him to his bed where they sat down side by side, and Frank’s mind worked tirelessly as he tried to decide what to say. Gerard’s thumb brushed back and forth across his knuckles.

“This is hard to tell you,” Frank started. “And it’s going to be really hard for you to hear. But you have to know.”

Gerard’s face grew solemn then, and he said nothing. He just looked at Frank as he waited for him to continue, and Frank savored those last few moments before he had to watch Gerard crumble right in front of him. He clung on to them so tightly, cherished them all he could, before finally letting go.

“Something happened to Mikey.”

Frank went on to recount all the details Ray had shared with him, and somewhere near the halfway point of his explanation, Gerard’s entire body fell still. He stopped breathing. He stopped blinking. His thumb ceased in its movements against Frank’s skin. He was frozen like he was made of stone, staring into Frank’s eyes with a look of chasmic terror, the likes of which the latter had never seen on anyone else before.

“I’m sorry,” Frank said when he was finished. “I can’t… I don’t know what else to say. I’m just sorry.”

Gerard stared down at the floor for what felt like a thousand years, expression entirely blank. He was still holding Frank’s hand, and his limp fingers had grown even colder than they normally were, so cold his touch stung. He’d looked so alive not ten minutes ago, but now the only thing setting him apart from a lifeless corpse was the way he sat upright.

Frank felt something awful and gelid gnawing at his very soul. He knew it was only an echo of the turmoil the other felt.

“No,” Gerard croaked. He’d been quiet for so long that the sound of his voice was almost startling. “No. There’s some other explanation.”

Frank didn’t respond. He didn’t do anything. He just sat, motionless, watching. He’d never felt so cold in all his life.

“No.” Gerard laughed, but it was a humorless sound, did nothing to light up his face. Rather, he was stripped entirely of the joy he had previously harbored. “They didn’t take him. He’s fine. They _couldn’t _have taken him.” He ran a hand through his hair and looked up at Frank, and there was something in his eyes so viscerally saddening that the sky might as well have fallen down. “They couldn’t have taken him. They couldn’t. They _couldn’t_.”

He chanted it over and over, even as he brought both his hands up to cover his face, muffling his voice that was beginning to break with tears. He shook his head and repeated himself with increasing franticness until all his coherence melted away into ugly sobs – the kind of sound a person would never wish to hear, that they would pray to forsake the memory of. Gerard’s entire form was moved by the force of them. It sounded like he was dying.

Frank didn’t know what to do. All the things he would’ve said in any other situation seemed so futile now. This was _Gerard_, who he had a supernatural emotional connection to, who he had fallen in love with, who he just wanted to see recover more than anything. And he was crying like Frank had never seen anyone else cry before in his life.

Eventually, Gerard collapsed against the other’s chest, his skin so cold it burned, but Frank held him close anyway. He wasn’t sure how much time passed them by, and he didn’t care to figure it out. It felt something like a horrid eternity.

“Oh god, please no,” Gerard choked out. “I don’t want him to hurt like this. I don’t ever want him to hurt like this.”

“We’re gonna try to find him,” Frank said in what he hoped was a soothing voice. He hoped he was making any difference at all.

“This is my fault. I should’ve been more careful.”

“I think…I think you did the best you knew how.” Frank didn’t think Gerard really deserved to carry that kind of weight after all the pressure he’d been under for close to two decades. Maybe a glimpse at genuine happiness had made him a bit more careless than he normally would be, but how much could anyone actually blame him for that?

“They can’t hurt him.” Gerard was clutching on to Frank like he was his only remaining tether to the world, his face pressed into the crook of the other’s neck. “I promised myself I would always keep him safe, and now…”

Frank rubbed his back and rocked him gently back and forth. “I know, baby. I know… But we’re about to go look for him, and you can come with us or do whatever you think is best. We don’t want them to hurt him either.”

“I went and saw him this morning. And he was fine. I thought…shit, I thought he was just gonna be okay.”

Frank nodded. “I think we all did.”

He chose those words in hopes that Gerard would realize this situation wasn’t solely his doing. They all could have been more careful. But they couldn’t dwell on that for too long whenever there was still action to be taken.

“I should probably go find Thaddaeus,” Gerard said quietly. “If I stay here that’ll just piss him off more. I don’t want him to hurt anyone else…”

To say Frank hated the idea of Gerard going back now was a massive understatement. He sighed and held Gerard closer. “Are you sure?”

“If you want a better chance of finding Mikey without being caught, then yes, I’m sure.”

“I don’t want them to hurt you.”

“They’re going to hurt me anyway, Frank. I would rather them not hurt the rest of you too,” Gerard said. “Please. Please trust me.”

Frank hesitated, but he knew Gerard was probably right that it would better their chances of finding Mikey, and he knew he was just trying to protect the rest of them. The whole world could potentially be at risk. Now was a better time than ever to take Gerard’s word for it. “I… Okay.”

Gerard’s breath trembled, and he leaned up to kiss Frank’s cheek with frigid lips, his entire body wrought with tremors. “I love you.”

Frank’s vision grew blurry with tears of his own. He smiled in spite of them, heart throbbing in the cavity of his chest. “I love you too. I love you so much.”

“You mean the world to me,” Gerard said. “Thank you for everything.”

He spoke as if this was the last conversation they would ever have, and he pulled Frank into a kiss so flooded with emotion it was overwhelming. They pressed their bodies close together and melted into one another until their lungs ached, and once they pulled away after an extended span of time, they were gasping for the same air, crying the same tears, sporting their own pressure cracks born of grief and apprehension, mouths hovering not an inch apart.

Frank never wanted to let Gerard go. He wanted to escape somehow, settle down somewhere warm and safe and just be together and never worry about any of this again. But he knew they couldn’t.

They held one another for a long while until Frank broke their silence.

“Do you want to go tell everyone else goodbye?” he whispered.

Gerard nodded, brushed his lips one last time against Frank’s forehead, ran his thumb slowly across his cheekbone. Then he pulled away all too soon and moved to get to his feet.

They walked together to the kitchen where everyone was talking quietly. Frank didn’t bother to wipe the tears away from his face.

He walked up behind Ray and leaned against the back of his chair, then waited until there was a break in their conversation to speak. “What’s the plan?”

Ray turned to look up at him. “I think I’m gonna go to the Woods with Lindsey and Jamia to see if we can find Mikey. We thought it’d be best if both of them were there in case we have to go ahead and cast the spell. So, that means you and Bert get to go check out Mikey’s house if that’s okay with you.”

Frank nodded. “Yeah, okay. That’s fine.”

Ray looked to Gerard and opened his mouth to say something before pausing, as if reconsidering it. His voice was softer when he spoke again. “You gonna be okay, Gerard?”

The ghost had his arms wrapped securely around his body, and he was visibly distraught. He glanced down at the floor and nodded.

“I’m so fucking sorry about all of this,” Ray said. “We’re not gonna rest until we find him, I swear.” A long pause. “And, um…you can come with us or you can stay with Frank. It’s your call.”

“Actually, I think I’m gonna go back to the vampires.” Gerard quickly explained his reasoning, his voice shaking more and more with every single word, and everything in Frank was screaming at him to stop Gerard from going. But he wasn’t the only one who was having reservations.

“You don’t have to do that,” Bert said. He sounded cold. Angry. Not at Gerard, but at the creatures responsible for his torment.

“I…I just want to keep you all safe.”

There was quite a bit of back and forth about it. Of course, no one actually wanted Gerard to go. But in the end, they came to the difficult conclusion that it probably _was_ their best option if they wanted to succeed in finding and potentially saving Mikey. Lindsey promised Gerard she would try to stay in contact with him when she could, and he thanked her profusely.

He went around and gave everyone a hug in farewell, shedding a few tears against Bert’s shoulder in particular. Frank’s heart ached for them. He wished more than anything it didn’t have to be like this. He wished things could’ve gone as they’d originally planned. He just wanted more time, wanted to see everyone happy for one moment longer. But that had all been ripped away from them. And now all they could do was rise to the occasion.

Gerard went to embrace Frank last of all. Their hold on one another was tight, and Frank savored the feel of Gerard’s arms around him, the softness of his hair against the side of his face, the closeness of their souls… In parting, Gerard whispered a promise against Frank’s ear, one too precious to exist anywhere outside the space between them. Frank nodded in response, and he clung to Gerard tighter for a few final seconds. And then he was gone.

Frank stared, almost stunned, at the newly empty air in front of him. The arms that had been wrapped around him were gone, and his own were left totally barren. The empty part of his soul, though the absence was spiritual, physically ached like he’d been stabbed between the ribs.

He allowed himself to silently weep, to let it hurt, to feel everything in its entirety all at once. Everyone in the room was solemn, and they took several all-too-short minutes to comfort one another, to make one final attempt at processing the horror they were potentially about to endure.

Then it was time to act.

_ **11.16.2003** _

It was just after midnight. The Woods were absolutely unnerving in the dark.

But then again, having a vague awareness of the kinds of horrors that took place there probably didn’t help.

No one out of the small group had had as much time to prepare as they would have liked. They were in a rush, and they were already traversing the Woods a day earlier than they’d intended. Jamia had cast a few masking spells for them, but they weren’t anywhere near as foolproof as those they’d originally intended to use, which took quite a bit of time to properly perform. They didn’t have any weapons other than Jamia and Lindsey’s magic-wielding abilities, as they’d only had time to grab the supplies they needed for the main spell, so they were lacking in terms of self-defense. Not to mention, missing two people from their group made a huge difference when it came to the possibility of having to fight off vampires.

They were attempting to follow the path that reduced their risk of being caught. When Bert had claimed its existence, he had known what he was talking about; Lindsey could sense the residual magic, clearly leftover from old but incredibly potent aura-diluting spells. It was even audible, in a spiritual sense; it sounded something like windchimes, coming and going rhythmically, a steady crescendo and decrescendo such as that of waves against a seashore. It smelled of thyme, but only if you knew how to smell it in the first place.

In spite of all this, it was difficult to stay on track. They had limited time to think over all the twists and turns they took.

The three of them walked in silence until some property in the air abruptly shifted. If the atmosphere had felt like feathers before, now it was like to snakeskin, and it made Lindsey hesitate before continuing on. She looked around for any sign of danger or any clue as to what had just happened until she realized they were drawing close to the clearing. The bizarre energy she felt had been the same when they last visited this place.

“We’re getting close,” she whispered to the others.

Jamia walked beside her, and Ray trailed somewhere behind them, keeping watch as both witches worked together to stay on route.

In the back of her mind, Lindsey was busy searching for something similar to Gerard’s aura. She had never actually met Mikey, but families – siblings especially – tended to have a very similar spiritual feel about them. She hadn’t caught on to anything yet, but the closer they got to the clearing, the more she was able to sense something faint and distant that could be promising.

Jamia halted suddenly and reached out to grab Lindsey’s arm, startling the other two. She was quiet, looking around with wide eyes.

“What is it?” Lindsey asked.

Jamia blinked a few times. “Uh. Hopefully it’s just a side effect of the night vision spell.” She turned to Ray who was holding a barometer, the only instrument he’d been able to bring in their hurry. “Anything weird?”

He shook his head. “Nothing yet.”

As they continued to walk, Jamia would occasionally jump like she was startled. Lindsey walked closer beside her, hoping to bring as much comfort as she could without being able to speak or slow down for very long, but eventually she became concerned that Jamia was actually picking up on something the other two weren’t. Something that was really there.

“What are you seeing?” Lindsey whispered as quietly as she possibly could.

Jamia rubbed her eyes as if to clear them. “Hands.”

“Hands?”

“Poking out of the trees. It looks like someone’s up there.”

Lindsey cast her eyes upward. They were deep enough in the forest now that the canopy of leaves blocked out most of the night sky, leaving them in darkness. She looked hard, but she couldn’t see anything. “Do you think they’re real?”

“Maybe,” Jamia said. “I see things like that every now and then, ever since that séance we did. I had hoped the connection would break, but I swear it just…_refuses _to go away.”

Lindsey hoped the hands really were just a hallucination brought on by the night vision spell. And if not, that they were at least something relatively harmless, such as wandering spirits.

They trekked on wordlessly for a while longer – what must’ve been at least twenty minutes. In a physical sense, the Woods were relatively quiet. The only sound was that of a gentle breeze that would rattle the tree branches together and weave between the trunks to stir up the underbrush. Hopefully the magic muffled their footsteps enough that they wouldn’t draw any unwanted attention.

And then, suddenly, Jamia halted again, flinging her arm out in front of the other two and whispering a panicked, “Stop.” She was staring up at the trees, mumbling to herself something like, “No way. No fucking way,” before she turned around slowly and put a shaking finger to her lips. She surveyed their surroundings a bit, pointing to an overgrown area several feet away, large enough for all three of them to hunker underneath. “We’re going to walk over there. Slowly. No sudden movements.”

Lindsey was confused and obviously frightened, but she followed without question, trying to tread as lightly as possible until they were all crouched down amidst the cluster of bushes. Ray spoke in a near inaudible whisper.

“Are we hiding?” he asked.

“Yes,” Jamia said. “There are a bunch of vampires in the trees.”

Ray’s eyes widened in fright. “You’re serious?”

Lindsey looked at Jamia, and then at Ray, and then to what she could see of the forest above them. She didn’t know what Jamia was talking about, and she wasn’t sure she wanted to, but she paid as much attention as she could, just listening and staring through the dark.

And then it was like she broke through some sort of wall, and she was suddenly able to hear it: a cacophony of whispers. The sound of the wind had not been wind at all. The overgrowth blocking the moonlight above was not overgrowth, even though it was very much alive. It was a mass of vampires, hundreds of them, perched in the trees and whispering forbidden languages to one another. Their deathly-pale hands were wrapped around barely visible branches and their bodies were layered on top of one another, all moving and writhing like a ceiling of bats.

“Shit,” Ray hissed, seeming to have realized it at the same time as Lindsey did. “You’re right.”

“I don’t think they know we’re here,” Jamia said. “And it looks like they’re all moving together. Maybe we can just wait for them to pass.”

“Where are they all going?” Ray asked.

Jamia shrugged, and they listened intently to the whispering and the shuffling above them. Chills spread rapidly across Lindsey’s skin and she huddled closer to the other two.

“What if it has to do with Mikey?” Lindsey whispered. “Or the soul-tying ritual? What if they’re all…”

“Going to the clearing,” Ray finished.

Jamia jumped in surprise just before pulling her phone from her pocket. She did her best to conceal the glow of the screen and quickly read over the message she’d received. “Frank says the house looks fine. They’re able to head over here now.”

Lindsey looked back at her nervously. They’d left Frank and Bert with enchanted parchment that would show the exact location of each person, so it wasn’t them getting lost that she was worried about. It was the fact that there were goddamn vampires in the trees.

“I’ll warn him about…” Jamia gestured upward with her thumb, “that.”

“Should we even bring them here?” Ray asked. “Do we have time to wait for them?”

“Well, we can’t go anywhere for a little while anyway. I think they should come. As backup. Especially since it’s looking more and more like the vampires _did _take Mikey.”

Ray nodded. “Yeah. I guess…I guess it’ll be fine.”

Jamia began typing out a brief text, and Lindsey took the moment of pause to reach out for Gerard like she’d promised, see if she could pick up on his presence at all.

She felt her way across the tangled web of the spiritual realm, into the deepest, darkest corners that she knew he inhabited while he was away. It took her a little while, but eventually she was able to find him. She couldn’t see him or hear him, but she could sense him.

Gerard seemed to notice she was there as well. She found it kind of amazing how in-tune he was with his spiritual surroundings, but she supposed after so many years of existing without a body, one could learn to pay close attention even without the gift of clairvoyance.

Lindsey tried asking if he was okay without really asking. It was abstract, like communicating using empathy. And from what she could tell, he didn’t seem hurt. He was cold and afraid and lonely, but his form was fully intact. That was somewhat comforting. She hoped she radiated some sort of serenity or encouragement or at least reminded him he that wasn’t in this alone now.

She made her way out of her head when she felt Jamia squeeze her hand, pulling her back into the physical realm, and blinked to clear the residual fogginess hanging in front of her eyes.

“Did you go find Gerard?” Jamia asked.

“Yes,” Lindsey said. “He seems fine right now.”

Ray sighed and ran a hand through his hair. He looked up into the darkness above them and watched as it continued to move. “I really hope he stays that way.”

* * *

The drive to Mikey’s house was relatively quiet. Not that it took very long to get there anyway, but the atmosphere was undeniably tense. As soon as Frank parked his car along the street, he turned to Bert and took in his stoic expression, unsure of what to say.

“Um…are you okay?” he asked gently.

Bert looked over at him and just blinked.

“Well. Yeah.” Frank chuckled humorlessly. “I guess that’s a fucking stupid question.”

Bert sighed and sank back in his seat, staring out the front windshield with a sort of blankness behind his eyes, like he wasn’t entirely present. “I already lost him once.”

Frank looked down at his hands, and he was silent.

“I’m not gonna lose him again,” Bert continued, quiet anger edging his voice. “This isn’t even just about Gerard; this is about everyone. Those bastards have destroyed enough lives as it is.” And with that, he unbuckled his seatbelt and opened the passenger door, and Frank watched him in surprise before he followed suit. Bert was clearly determined.

Together, they walked up to the house with caution. The neighborhood was eerily quiet and all the lights inside the houses surrounding them had been turned off, with the exception of the lamp shining through Mikey’s front window. The only other glow to light their way came from a dim streetlamp several houses down.

Frank took note that Mikey’s car was still parked in the driveway, but that came as no surprise to him. When he and Bert stepped up onto the porch, Frank pulled his sleeve down over his hand before grabbing the knob and opening the unlocked door. It didn’t appear to have been damaged or tampered with as far as he could tell.

He pushed it open slowly and peered inside, searching for any signs of possible danger. Then he glanced up at Bert, nodded, and stepped through the threshold.

There was nothing strikingly out of the ordinary – exactly as Ray had described it. And right away, Frank noticed Mikey’s keys and wallet still sitting on the small table beside the door.

He took a few steps forward, taking care not to touch anything with his bare hands. He spotted Mikey’s phone on the couch and a pair of shoes lying a few feet away, but nothing to indicate any kind of struggle. At least not yet.

“I’ll check the front if you wanna go look at the bedrooms,” Bert said.

Frank nodded in agreement. “Sounds good.”

He turned on the flashlight he was holding once he entered the darkened hallway. Frank searched through the first three rooms – a bathroom, an office, and what he assumed was Mikey’s room – before he nudged open the door to what used to be Gerard’s room.

It was spotless. Seeing it so clean was somehow nearly as uncanny as seeing it drenched in blood and carnage two months ago. Frank crept in slowly, sweeping his light across the walls and the uncovered window.

There was nothing strikingly off about any of the rooms he looked through, and this one was no exception. He knew more could be uncovered with the help of a properly trained eye but considering the risk that Mikey really had been taken by the vampires, they didn’t have time for that now. They needed to act as quickly as possible.

Frank was already ready to leave, but before he did, he stood in the center of the room for a moment. Just listening.

He didn’t expect to hear anything. He paused to listen more out of curiosity than anything else. His ears took some time to tune in to the silence, but once they did, he thought he heard what sounded like a faint, rhythmic flow of breath.

He froze. Adrenaline crept through his entire body. The hair on the back of his neck stood on end and he tried to pick up on the sound again through the persistent ringing in his ears. Frank had no idea where it had come from and he even glanced around for Bert, but he realized it couldn’t have been him when he heard him moving around in the living room. Frank considered calling out for him but decided that would be a terrible idea if there really _was _someone else there. He didn’t want them to know he’d heard them. And besides, it could’ve all just been in his imagination anyway.

Frank swore he heard it again when he held his own breath in order to listen closer. It was very, very quiet, but it was there. It wasn’t labored, wasn’t raspy, it was just regular breathing like someone else was in the room.

Frank’s eyes locked on the air vent in the wall, positioned near the ceiling, and he wondered… But _surely_ those vents would be too small for a person to fit inside.

He approached the wall and pressed his ear against it, just to see if he could hear anything else. He thought he might’ve picked up on something once or twice, but it was difficult to tell.

Frank stepped away from the wall and glanced up at the vent again. There was nothing visible behind the grate, or at least not in the dark.

But he _swore _he’d heard something. He _swore_ something wasn’t right. He was tempted to shine his flashlight through the grate, but he was afraid of what he might see…

No. This was stupid. There was no way anything could fit inside those vents. He was just psyching himself out.

Frank slowly walked back into the hallway and left the door open behind him.

Bert met him just outside the room where he pointed up at the ceiling wordlessly. Frank’s gaze traveled to the attic door just above them.

“That’s the only place we haven’t checked,” Bert said.

No part of Frank actually _wanted _to go up there, but unfortunately, he knew they really should. They might be able to find something important.

He went and found a chair and Bert stood on top of it as he unlatched the door and pulled it open. They managed to get the ladder down with little struggle and Bert offered to climb up first, much to Frank’s relief.

The attic was filled with dust and who knows what else, so Frank wasted no time in covering his mouth and nose with his shirt. There wasn’t very much to see, just a few boxes and old pieces of furniture. The lack of windows made the space incredibly claustrophobic, and the low ceilings, forcing Frank to crouch as he walked, did nothing to help. He was already itching to get out.

They both took care to avoid stepping on the plaster between the support beams as they searched. They found nothing out of the ordinary, but Frank was still curious about something.

“Let’s be quiet for a minute,” he said to Bert. “Just listen.”

Bert didn’t question it. He simply stopped in place and observed the sounds – or lack thereof – that surrounded him.

Frank listened closely for the breathing again or any other weird noises he might catch. His eyes fell on a box near his feet that had been knocked over on its side, causing the flaps on top to open and the contents to spill out just a bit. It was mostly full of old clothes, but there were a few other random items, including an envelope stuffed full of polaroids. One in particular caught Frank’s eye. It had a hazy blue wash over it that obscured most of the photo, as if it had been ruined while it was developing, only leaving a few blurry shadows visible within the frame. “2.17” was scribbled on the bottom in black marker.

“I don’t hear anything,” Bert whispered after a few moments, snapping Frank out of his daze.

Frank looked away from the photo and shook his head. “Neither do I. Ready to get out of here?”

Bert nodded and they both climbed down the ladder, taking care to shut and latch the attic door and return the chair to its proper place. Frank’s eyes swept across the hallway a final time. It was dark, seeing as every door was closed.

They walked into the living room so Frank could take one last look around. He sent a text to Jamia, letting her know the house was weirdly intact and they were able to head to the Woods, and Bert stood off to the side with his arms crossed over his stomach, oddly still. Frank glanced up at him once he finished typing out the message and he genuinely thought Bert was going to be sick or something. He’d noticed him acting off ever since Gerard had left, but he’d written it off for obvious reasons. Now, however, something felt undeniably wrong.

“You alright?” Frank asked, approaching Bert carefully.

Bert was quiet for a long moment, staring off into space. Frank watched him with rising concern and waited for him to respond.

“Frank, before we go, there’s something I need to tell you.”

A pause, and then, “What is it?”

Bert took a breath as he prepared to respond, but he was cut off when Frank’s phone chimed, startling them both in the resounding quiet of the house.

“You should check that,” Bert said, his voice so serious that Frank automatically hurried to listen to him.

He took out his phone and skimmed over the message he’d gotten from Jamia, mouthing the words to himself, and pocketed it as soon as he finished reading.

“We’re good to go,” he said. “She said to keep an eye out. Something about vampires in the trees?”

Bert raised an eyebrow and began heading towards the door. “We’ll be careful.”

He didn’t say anything else. Frank assumed whatever conversation they’d almost had wasn’t going to happen anymore.

* * *

Frank had parked on the side of the dirt road that led up to the old mansion. The car was left hidden behind a small hill, meaning their arrival wouldn’t be so obvious. Bert held the sheet of enchanted parchment in his hands and Frank prayed they’d be able to find the others quickly.

They had backtracked a bit until they made it to a section of the Woods where the trees grew close to the road, and now Frank was following Bert as stealthily as he possibly could. He knew they weren’t nearly as concealed as either of them would have liked.

Fortunately, this part of the Woods was much denser. Only small spots of moonlight were allowed to filter in through the tangle of overgrowth. Frank hoped the cover of darkness would help to protect them from unwanted eyes, and he could recall this was about the location of the path Bert had mapped out for him several days ago.

They walked for what felt like hours, going deeper and deeper, moving as quickly as they could but not quite quick enough to satiate the building tension in Frank’s chest. But he knew if they went any faster, they would cause too much of a racket. The forest floor was covered in leaves and tangles of plants, and there were low-hanging branches they had to take care to avoid. After a while, Frank settled into the adrenaline coursing through his body and managed to push forward while ignoring his aching legs and his shortness of breath. He was homed in on reaching their destination, all his focus shifted away from anything else.

Eventually, Bert paused to catch his breath, and Frank halted right beside him. The former leaned close to Frank’s ear so he could whisper, “We’re almost there.”

Frank nodded, closed his eyes, and breathed in deeply. He listened to the whispering breeze that floated around him, gave his beating heart a moment to settle down, take a rest. He was so nervous…

He opened his eyes again and slowly realized, with a plummet of dread, that Bert was nowhere to be seen.

Frank gasped in surprise and looked around frantically for him. Surely he was just having trouble seeing him in the dark. Surely he hadn’t actually gone anywhere, or been taken, or left Frank behind… There hadn’t even been any noise to indicate he’d moved. Frank’s heart was instantly pounding again and the urge to call out for the other was rising up in his chest, even though he knew that would be a horrible idea.

After several excruciating minutes, Frank came to the conclusion that Bert was gone. And not only was he scared for the other’s life, but he had the sickening realization that Bert still had the enchanted parchment. So, without him, Frank was utterly lost. He was all alone in a forest filled with creatures who wished to feed upon his soul, and he had no idea how to find his way out. The beginnings of a panic attack were already creeping up on him, and his mind was too suddenly overwhelmed to begin to think of a way out of this.

Then Frank heard a small sound from above him, like a distressed whimper, that made him stop and listen. It chilled him to his very bones.

He remembered what Jamia had said. About the vampires and the trees.

He didn’t want to look.

He hesitated before casting his eyes towards the tangle of branches and leaves above him. And Bert was there, barely visible, at least fifteen feet in the air and facing the ground at an angle. He was staring down with terrified eyes. Frank thought he was somehow levitating until he saw the tens of paper white hands wrapped around his limbs. One covered his mouth to keep him from crying out, and they slowly pulled him into the darkness above until he was gone completely.

Frank had no idea what to do.

He stood there in utter shock, hyperventilating, staring at the mass of black above him. He realized it was moving. It was fucking _moving_. And his body had no idea whether to defend itself or to flee, faced with an enemy so unknown and so utterly foreign. So instead he froze, eyes wide, mouth open in disbelief, short-circuiting.

He heard a cold snicker from behind him, felt freezing breath on the back of his neck, just before he was yanked up into the trees by his hair.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> {MCR - Early Sunsets Over Monroeville}


	23. Iron Moon

_“My heart is a tomb / My heart is an empty room.”_

* * *

_ **11.16.2003** _

For a moment it felt like the whole world had turned to ice as raw shock and adrenaline came crashing down in one monstrous wave, so all-consuming that it was actually paralyzing.

Fear was perhaps the most primal emotion of them all – the only human experience that was genuinely universal. And yet, staring death directly in the face unlocked a certain breed of fear within the stores of Frank’s brain, one he had never experienced before in all his life and never could’ve imagined until it was searing the insides of his veins like hellfire.

His ascent into the trees was not slow and silent like Bert’s had been. The vampires didn’t have to keep quiet now that there was no one left to be snatched away. The hand wrapped around Frank’s hair was inhumanly large and cold as death, and as its fingers curled inward, its serrated nails drew blood from his scalp.

As he was ripped off the ground, other hands wrapped around his limbs and yanked at him. And before he could scream, an arm locked him in a chokehold that prevented him from making any noise at all. His neck was going to be bruised, but that was the least of his worries. He was currently flying so fast that he swore his stomach had been left behind on the ground below.

The bare side of Frank’s arm slammed against a tree, and the friction created by the smooth bark and the speed of his ascent burned through his skin until it bled, splinters embedding themselves into the raw flesh. Tears born of pain and shock sprung up from his bottom eyelids.

The motion stopped so quickly it made him feel lightheaded. He couldn’t remember where he was for a moment, so stunned and frightened he almost felt as if he were floating outside his body, watching everything happen from afar. He was disoriented, seeing white flashes of light behind his eyelids, and the whole world was spinning…he wanted to go home.

Frank didn’t realize his ears had been ringing like a deafening dial tone until the sound eventually faded away. The arm that had been locked around his throat was gone, and he was groaning brokenly in pain as his scalp stung, his neck throbbed, and the side of his arm burned like it was on fire. He realized all of this slowly as if his mind needed time to come back to him, swimming through viscous shock and disbelief that this was happening at all.

And Frank realized there were bodies. Vampires all around him. The thick, velvety fabrics they wore were effectively smothering him, pressing from underneath and on top of him, and he could feel them contorting in ways that should’ve snapped their spines into fragments, and their cold breath smelled of the sweetest, most vomit-inducing perfume. It made bile rise up in Frank’s throat.

He couldn’t breathe. There were still hands wrapped all around him, feeling him, as if searching him for weapons, and they probably were. He couldn’t count the number of spindly fingers planted against his body, and he was too starved for oxygen to cry out every time they dug their nails into his skin like knives through a slab of meat.

As Frank’s senses further returned to him, he did his best to fight back. He slammed his fists against the bodies above him, would’ve kicked them if his legs hadn’t been pinned down, and claustrophobia began to set in the more he struggled. His lungs were burning, screaming for air, and his heart slammed demandingly against his ribcage.

He finally managed to produce some sort of sound – a raspy half-wheeze, half-scream that stung his throat. His vision began to fade to black…

Until two strong hands wrapped around his arms and pulled him above the hive.

Frank gasped and choked on the air he took in. He gulped lungfuls of it, frantically replenishing his body with fresh oxygen after going god knows how long without it, and he must’ve laid there undisturbed for at least five minutes, just breathing and nothing else.

Slowly, Frank returned from the void of unconsciousness he’d nearly been sucked into. Enough adrenaline pumped through his body that the throbbing of his wounds had lessened, but it was nowhere near absent. He could feel blood draining from his arm and all the other scratches littered across his body, and he knew just from the sound of his breath that his voice was going to be hoarse after being choked so aggressively.

Eventually, he decided to open his eyes. He was met with stars that looked like white streaks across the sky.

There was movement underneath him, like he was lying atop an ocean, and he realized the vampires were tangled so tightly together that they formed what might as well have been a ceiling. They were packed like a swarm of ants, and that combined with the ways they twisted their bodies – causing Frank to wince in secondhand agony – made for a disturbing, confusing sight. He’d always thought of vampires as being human-like in appearance, and they typically were, but right now they were far from that.

“A human,” came a sudden, icy hiss, and Frank gasped and looked around for who had spoken. Two cold, yellow eyes entered his line of sight and hovered directly above him, and Frank tried to push himself away, but it was too difficult atop the ever-moving surface.

The vampire had already locked its hands around his shoulders anyway. Its eyes glimmered in the dull light, and it ran its tongue over its upper lip. “Haven’t got my hands on a live one in _years_.” It leaned down close to Frank’s shoulder and inhaled, and Frank jumped and tried to wriggle away, but it was no use. “You know what we do with the bodies once their souls are gone?”

Frank just trembled and tried to remember to breathe.

“We eat ‘em.” The vampire grinned, lips pulling back to reveal rows of yellowed, sharpened teeth.

Frank was going to pass out.

“I hope you’re grateful Master has business with you. You’re all better while you’re still breathing. Blood’s still warm. I always start with the limbs and go from there.” The vampire smiled and ran its tongue over its lips again. “You all say it’s a miracle how damn tough the human body is, but that’s only till we get to you. Then it’s a curse, and you always beg for death ‘cause you don’t wanna hurt anymore, but I like to keep you alive as long as I can. I like the look you all get in your eyes.”

Frank gagged and sobbed once and weakly turned away. The vampire let him go, let him curl in on himself.

“But in your case…there’s nothin’ to be too worried about,” it continued. “‘Cause he won’t hurt your body, see. He likes to hurt your spirit, does it over and over and you’ll never ever die. He can do whatever he wants.”

Chills spiraled through Frank’s body and he began to slip away again, like he was watching everything happen from some distant vantage point. It was all too much and he was absolutely terrified.

Then there were cold hands wrapping around his throat that brought him back somewhat. A third hand circled his ankle, and he was stuck in an odd in-between state, halfway in his body and halfway out.

“N-no!” he wheezed. “Don’t touch me!”

Frank heard someone laugh and one of his arms were yanked behind him almost hard enough to rip it from its socket. A sound of pain tore from his throat.

“Did you hear that!” a shrill voice cried. “He thinks he can ask us to stop!”

The fingers pressed down painfully over Frank’s throat and now his arms were wrenched painfully behind his back, pulled down into the swarm of bodies. One of his ankles was free and the other was clutched in an uncomfortably snug grip, and there was another arm wrapped around his midsection, crushing his insides. His body was trembling, and he was on the brink of tears, panicked and restrained. It could’ve gone on for many lifetimes, for all he knew.

When several hands yanked him back down amongst the bodies, he screamed out. He hadn’t been expecting it and he would rather do anything else than suffocate under their weight. He couldn’t die like this.

Frank kicked out against the vampires and choked on a sob when his ribcage was crushed between them all. But he was still descending, still being pulled towards the bottom of the mass, until one of his arms hung out in midair. He still couldn’t breathe and was running out of oxygen quickly; his lungs burned, and franticness began to set in as his body realized all over again just how out of control it was.

But then the vampires all parted from beneath him, and the next thing he knew he was freefalling through the air.

It took Frank a moment to fully register what was happening. He only just felt the beginnings of the swoop in his gut when a hand caught him by his hair – _again_ – in order to break his fall, and the pain in his already-abused scalp was excruciating. His cry was cut off when he bit his tongue and blood filled his mouth.

Then he was let go and began falling again. Time seemed to stretch out and that awful feeling in his stomach consumed him, and he was resignedly bracing himself for impact, wondering if this was really how he was going to go. He was falling from quite a height and he could already picture his bashed in head and his bruised limbs and-

Something else caught him before he could hit the ground. It wasn’t a pair of hands; it was a force. Frank knew, as soon as he felt it wafting around him, that this was magic.

For a split second, some part of him hoped it was someone friendly who had caught him. Maybe it was a well-intentioned magic-wielder who had happened to be in the right place at the right time, or maybe, if he was infinitely lucky, it was Lindsey or Jamia. But his already fragile hopes were dashed when he was lowered to the ground where he landed with a soft thump and was met with two white eyes staring down at him that seeped like acid into the corners of his soul.

Frank was too weak to try and flee. He was in pain, he was still recovering from nearly suffocating, and he was pretty sure at least one of his ribs was fractured, but that didn’t stop him from scrambling into a sitting position and hurting himself further in the process. He remembered this creature all too well and not only did the sight of him inspire fear in Frank, but it inspired endless rage as well. He wanted absolutely nothing to do with him if it didn’t involve ending his scornful life. Because now Frank knew for a fact that Thaddaeus was responsible for the death of his parents and so many other innocent people, not to mention the torture of hundreds of souls, including that of the person he loved.

Frank looked around quickly and noticed he was just outside the familiar clearing. A few feet away, standing within the near-barren circle, were several other hooded figures. Frank could see someone else on the ground, unconscious, and as the magical flames suspended in the air illuminated their face, and Frank realized it was Mikey. A surge of energy rose up in his chest but before he could lunge towards him on instinct, a freezing cold hand grabbed the collar of his shirt and pulled him to his feet.

Frank was angry, yes, but he was also very afraid. Too afraid to lash out and shout profanities like he really wanted to. What he needed to focus on now was finding a way out of this situation.

“Pleasure to see you again, dear.” The vampire’s voice was cold and grating, startling in the calm silence of the night. Frank chanced a look into his eyes and was immediately struck with another wave of terror. “Tell me – what are you doing all the way out here? Did you not learn your lesson the first time?”

Frank squared his jaw and refused to answer. He couldn’t tear his eyes away even though he was beginning to feel sick.

Thaddaeus smiled – not a nice smile – and let go of Frank’s shirt, leaving him to stumble as he tried to balance on his own. “Well, it’s a shame, really. To end up here after you all worked so hard.”

Frank crossed his arms over his stomach and coughed, spitting up the blood that was still filling his mouth. It hurt his ribs badly. “What?”

“Oh,” Thaddaeus laughed. “You think I didn’t know?”

Frank’s brain slogged along, trying to keep up, and he realized with a plummet of horror that Thaddaeus was implying he’d known about their plan all along. Did that mean all this was inevitable? Did that mean he’d found Ray and Jamia and Lindsey in the Woods too?

“We see everything,” Thaddaeus continued, voice dark and angry now. He approached Frank slowly and the latter backed away. “And yet your people have made us out as to be a folktale. All we are is another story to keep your children from wandering into our Woods unattended. I hope you realize your collective decision to undermine our power – for the sake of your _comfort _– has only made it easier for us to surveil you.”

Frank stumbled over a patch of uneven ground and was forced to stop before he collapsed. He just barely caught himself, and by now the vampire was looming over him, staring down into his face. Frank was terrified, felt as if he’d been lied to, felt as if nothing was as it seemed, and it was all horribly cold and unforgiving. He thought he’d already managed to pull away the veil of innocence that was cast over the town, and yet it seemed as though he hadn’t done that at all. That realization was the worst part of this. Had all their tireless work been for nothing? Had all his sleepless nights and ruminations been in vain?

“So yes, I knew about your schemes. I knew as soon as we took Gerard’s brother that all five of you would come here looking for him.” Thaddaeus’s sneer had only grown, stretching across his face. He looked so revoltingly pleased with himself. “Speaking of Gerard, I know about the two of you as well. You were both exceedingly foolish to think you could hide that from me.”

And for some reason, that last bit hurt most of all. Frank’s heart stung in his chest, but he refused to let it show on his face.

“But that wasn’t incentive enough for me to come after you,” Thaddaeus said. “You pose no real threat to us on your own. Watching you scramble for a way to defeat us was laughable at best. But then we learned of your new friend.”

Frank’s lips parted, and he nearly said Bert’s name aloud, but he held himself back. He assumed, with a wash of confusion, that that’s who Thaddaeus was referring to…

Where _was _Bert, anyway? Frank dearly hoped he was okay. It concerned him that he hadn’t seen him yet, and he really didn’t know what he’d do if the other was already dead.

“So, now we have no choice but to do away with all of you. My _sincerest _apologies.” Thaddaeus reached out and placed his hands on Frank’s shoulders, and the latter flinched beneath his touch, but the vampire’s grip was too tight to pull away.

Frank scowled and knit his brow. “Where’s Bert? What did you do with him?”

“Oh? Would you like me to show you?” Thaddaeus moved closer, too close, and Frank was paralyzed with fear. He could feel the cold rolling off of him.

“I-” Frank didn’t know how to answer, but he didn’t have to. Thaddaeus pressed his thumb against the space between Frank’s eyes, and he didn’t even have time to feel afraid before he lost consciousness.

* * *

When Frank woke up an indefinite period of time later, it was with a jolt. The only thing to indicate he’d opened his eyes was the physical sensation of it; there was no difference between the backs of his eyelids and whatever laid in front of him.

It reminded him of his dreams, the ones in which Gerard paid him visits. But somehow, this was very different, and he didn’t at all expect to see Gerard here.

For one thing, it was _cold_. So cold Frank immediately pulled his knees up to his chest and wrapped his arms around them. He was lying on his side on some odd, unnaturally smooth surface that did nothing to conform to his body or provide him any comfort. It was the opposite of the soft clouds of darkness that cradled him in his dreams of sweetness.

He noticed his body no longer hurt. He felt…lighter. Lighter than he ever had in his life. There was something different about this place, about _him_. Something he couldn’t quite put his finger on.

And Frank wasn’t sure how long he was there because time hardly seemed to matter anymore. In fact, it hardly seemed to exist at all. He didn’t realize how constantly aware of time he was, as a human who lived in a society bound by it, until its constant motion was absent. But one thing he knew was that he was afraid. He was trembling and so, so scared of what might surprise him in the dark.

He didn’t have to wait much longer to find out. A strange sensation bloomed on the bottom of his right foot that felt something like spider’s legs at first, and Frank kicked his leg weakly to try and get rid of it. Unfortunately, it only intensified.

Frank didn’t like spiders very much, but he was never really _afraid _of them like some people were. They just sort of creeped him out. Now, however, that he was beginning to feel like hundreds of them were crawling up his leg, it was making his heart pound violently in his chest.

He was too weak to do anything about it beyond just kick into the darkness and pray it would stop. He was breathing heavily, hated he couldn’t see what was going on, couldn’t even see his own fucking hand in front of his face. The sensation was wrapped all around his leg up to his knee and he really started to panic when it began on his upper back.

Frank gasped and reached over his shoulder. It felt like thousands of tiny legs scuttling across his skin, some crawling around towards his ribcage and some traveling up his neck and into his hair, and yet he couldn’t feel anything beneath his fingers other than his own skin. He scratched at the back of his neck, trying to rid himself of the sensation, but it was no use.

It gradually morphed into something more like static, or like the feeling of cut off circulation, and it became more and more unpleasant until it just hurt. It was bearable, but Frank wished it would stop, and he wished he knew why this was happening at all. He managed to lift his head and look around, keeping himself together as his eyes bored through the darkness by putting his focus on breathing evenly and telling himself what he was feeling wasn’t real, and the longer he searched the void the more he realized there was absolutely nothing.

Eventually, the feeling intensified to become something else that was much less tolerable and that was what pushed Frank over the edge into a full-fledged panic, breaths coming quickly and hands and fingernails running across his skin, desperate to get _it_ off somehow. It was difficult to put into words, but it was something like the uncomfortable static of a numb limb spread across his entire body and amplified to excruciatingly painful levels.

It dragged on and on and evolved to become more complex, more agonizing. Over time it became comparable to someone tearing his ribs out of his body if that’s not what it actually was, but then…his body didn’t _feel _like his body anymore. His form wasn’t quite the same, as if it’d been distorted, or as if he’d become some grotesque being entirely. He could feel the oddity of his new silhouette splayed against the cold ground, like something was just _wrong_, like he was now an unknowable monster. And at the same time, it was like he was being twisted in hundreds of directions, with resounding pops that he swore could’ve come from inside his head even though they sounded so real. Everything he was experiencing was as bizarre as it was horrendous, and it had come upon him all at once, and he must’ve broken away from his own body for a moment because he didn’t register the fact that he was trying to scream. However, all breathable air had been taken away from him in his shock.

He remembered what that vampire in the trees had said. Something about Thaddaeus preferring to hurt one’s spiritual form because it wouldn’t actually kill them.

Maybe this was just the beginning of his punishment for going against the one powerful creature who wished to destroy the universe.

A strangled cry finally tore from Frank’s throat as he realized those snapping sounds were his fucking bones and realistically, this could go on for the rest of time. This could be how he existed for an _eternity_. Constantly under the threat of being tortured and never being allowed to slip away from it.

He began to understand a fraction of the terror Gerard had experienced over the last few years. Already, many of Gerard’s defensive mannerisms made so much more sense, and Frank had a feeling the ghost had been through so much worse than this, as awful as it was. He swore his bones and his nervous system were being torn from his body because there was no other explanation for such cruel, snarling, unrelenting agony.

This was absolutely hellish. This was no way to exist. But this is how everyone _would _exist if the vampires got their horrendous wish.

Frank couldn’t let them take the last soul they needed. Even if he died trying to stop them.

But right now, he couldn’t do anything at all. His mouth was filled with bile and everything was dark and he was writhing on the ground. The sounds of his body being ripped apart only made it so much worse. He couldn’t remember how to speak as the torturous events barreled on and progressed, memories of language expelled from his mind, and he couldn’t remember his name or why he was here or what was going on at all. All information had been replaced with blinding pain.

The spiders were back, this time crawling down his throat, and the only thing he could remember now was the girl he’d seen on his ceiling, and he wondered if this was what had been done to her and if they were all going to crawl up to his brain and burrow through the flesh and eat his eyes.

He passed out when the supernatural force that was maiming the rest of his body turned his head around.

* * *

“Frank? You need to wake up now.”

It was dark for a very long time until healing magic carried by sound waves stirred Frank’s consciousness again. The voice was muffled and far away, but it called out from the devouring blackness like a beam of uninterrupted light. With it came the beginnings of a ringing sound that brought cracks of pain along with it.

All of Frank’s joints ached, and he felt terribly dehydrated. His tongue was rough against the roof of his mouth, his throat was sore, and a dull ache throbbed behind his right eye.

He couldn’t remember much of what had happened to him now. His mind had blurred much of the trauma he’d endured in an effort to protect him. However, there were glimpses here and there. The most vivid memory was of his neck twisting in a way that had definitely snapped it, that definitely should’ve been the end of him. But here he remained. And it felt like years had passed since then.

Frank was mostly met with darkness once he opened his sore eyes, but there was soft light that illuminated his immediate surroundings. One arm was extended out in front of him and he could see it was spattered thinly with blood, all the way down to his painfully broken fingernails. A person sat in front of him, fading in and out of focus, double silhouettes slowly merging into one.

“Frank?” It was Bert’s voice, he realized, sounding quiet and concerned.

When Frank slowly turned his head to look up at him, he could feel his freshly healed vertebrae grating against one another. His vision was clearer now, and he could see Bert’s face was solemn. One of his cheeks was split open, as was one of his eyebrows.

“You’re alive,” Frank rasped. It hurt, but at least he was able to speak at all.

“_You’re _alive,” Bert breathed. “Jesus Christ, I thought they just went ahead and-” He cut himself off and sighed, pressing a hand to his forehead. “But you’re beat up pretty bad…I could probably try and undo some of it.”

“Undo?” Frank started to push himself up onto his forearms, but Bert quickly stopped him, helping him lie back down. “What…?”

“Just relax. You need rest,” Bert said. “I guess Thaddaeus decided not to heal you all the way after…whatever the hell he did to you. I don’t want you to hurt yourself more.”

Frank was so cold his body was trembling, and he tried to curl into himself, but it was painful. He winced and Bert laid a hand on his shoulder.

“It’s okay,” he said. “Just lie still.”

Something warm radiated from his hand then, like curls of smoke seeping under Frank’s skin. It was a pleasant sensation, one that alleviated a bit of the pain and put him more at ease.

“Bert,” Frank said, “where are we?”

“Well, we’re…not in the same dimension we started out in.” Bert moved his hand to Frank’s forehead then in order to rid him of his headache. “This is your spiritual body.”

That made a lot of sense. And Frank had suspected as much, but hearing it confirmed made his reality so much more terrifying. He didn’t want to think about what else could be inflicted upon him now that the consequences would not be permanent.

“I don’t know where they took us. Physically, I mean,” Bert continued. “Probably to the clearing. I feel like they’re gonna lure the others there and try to get them too.”

Frank opened his mouth to respond when there was a noise a few feet away from them, like a pained groan. He looked past Bert, searching for the source of the noise, and was even more surprised when he found Mikey lying just a foot or two away.

Bert turned around to look as well. “_Shit_. Mikes?”

Mikey, who was facing them, slowly blinked open his eyes. He looked terribly disoriented, but as far as Frank could tell, he wasn’t hurt.

“Hey.” Bert shuffled over to him and gently shook his shoulder to get his attention. “Mikey? Can you hear me?”

Mikey’s eyes were glazed over, but he seemed to have registered Bert’s voice. He took a moment to process his surroundings before giving his response. “Where am I?” he asked, voice trembling.

“Ah…” Bert glanced down at his lap. “Well, it’s a lot to explain.”

Frank’s attention snapped to a sudden rush of cold air coming from his left. It stung his eyes, so he squeezed them shut and brought his hands up to shield his face from the uncomfortable temperature. When he opened them again, Thaddaeus had suddenly appeared, and with him he brought a chill of dread that birthed patches of ice in Frank’s chest. In this place, the vampire looked at least one thousand times more terrifying than he did in the physical realm, if that was at all possible, and to Frank’s utter surprise, he held Gerard firmly beside him by the upper arm.

The ghost slumped, hardly appearing to be supporting his own weight. He was crying weakly, refused to look up. Frank could hear Mikey’s breath stutter.

“I’ve brought you your friend,” Thaddaeus said with a cold smile, “but I do hope you realize I’m not doing you any favors.”

Frank wasn’t sure what he meant by that, and he didn’t want to know.

Thaddaeus let go of Gerard’s arm and the ghost simply slumped to the ground at his feet, crumpling in on himself and crying harder, mumbling incoherent words. Frank longed to reach out for him, but he assumed that would be an unwise action to take at the moment. His heart was winding up to burst.

“Am I dead?” Mikey breathed, voice shaky and terrified. Frank glanced over at him and saw his eyes were locked on Gerard, and he could only imagine the confusion and disbelief he must be experiencing.

Thaddaeus chuckled. “No, dear. But one can dream.”

Gerard’s voice broke and he reached out for the vampire beside him, one hand wrapping around the hem of his cloak. “Please don’t,” he said. “Please, I’m so sorry, I’ll do anything you want. Please don’t hurt th-”

Thaddaeus sighed and kicked Gerard away as if he was just some terrible inconvenience, and Frank couldn’t take it any longer. He pushed himself up and ignored the way his muscles screamed for mercy, crawling over to Gerard and placing his hands on his shoulders, helping him to sit up again.

Gerard flinched before he realized who it was that was touching him. But as soon as he did, he pressed both his hands to Frank’s chest in an effort to push him away.

“Don’t!” he said. “I don’t want him to hurt you. Please.”

“This isn’t because of anything _you’ve_ done, Gerard. Well, not entirely.” Thaddaeus glowered down at the two of them, but Frank refused to let Gerard go. He held him at arm’s length, staring at his heartbreakingly exhausted face and red-rimmed eyes.

Gerard’s brow creased. “W-what are you talking about?”

Frank was still nearly as confused as Gerard was. He knew this had something to do with Bert, but he wasn’t sure how or why.

Thaddaeus looked at the two of them for a moment, cold and calculating, and then turned his head to cast his eyes upon Bert. Frank looked at him as well with confusion clear on his face, and the other still had his hand on Mikey’s shoulder, his head down and his jaw squared.

“Well, my goodness.” Thaddaeus laughed like he was genuinely amused, and he probably was. “He didn’t tell any of you, did he?”

Gerard looked up at the vampire with watery eyes. “Tell us what?”

But Thaddaeus was only looking at Bert now, addressing him. “It always comes back to bite you, doesn’t it?” he said with a dark smile. “And to think I even gave you a fair warning. I told you from the start it was a permanent choice. But then, it was a choice _you _made.”

“Fuck you,” Bert spat. “You’re disgusting.”

“You did this to yourself. You could have said no.”

Icy silence.

Thaddaeus’s eyes glimmered with sick amusement. “No point in lying to yourself anymore.”

“I was a kid, goddammit!” And in a matter of seconds, Bert was visibly fuming. “You used the hell I’d already been through and you manipulated me!”

Mikey had shrunk back several inches, and Gerard’s mouth was open in shock. Frank was utterly confused and not in any state to figure this out or even make an attempt. This was jarring in comparison to Bert’s usual reserve.

“You always had the option to turn me down. We would’ve let you go without a scratch and forgotten all about you.” Thaddaeus was grinning smugly. “_You _made the final decision. And you can run from me all you want, but you can never run from yourself.”

“God, I hope you rot,” Bert said through clenched teeth. “You knew I had a chance at a better life. You knew. You _saw_. Even before I went and-”

“And you got your ‘better life,’ didn’t you? You got your second chance that so many others would kill for. And look what became of it.” Thaddaeus nodded towards Gerard. “We still found him in the end. We still found _you_. You didn’t change a damn thing.”

That sounded like it hurt. It looked like it, too. Bert’s face noticeably fell, and his entire form slumped a bit along with it. “You can’t know that,” he said, voice wavering now. “I still have time to stop you.”

Thaddaeus just smiled. “No. You don’t.”

And then he was gone. Blinked out of existence and left darkness and fury behind him.

Frank stared at the empty space he’d left behind, stunned, and then looked to Gerard, and then back at Bert, who now had his face hidden behind his hands.

What the hell just happened?

No one said anything for a long while. Mikey’s wide-eyed, unfocused gaze flitted between all three of them, and Gerard was now crying again, silently this time. Bert was so still it was unnerving, and Frank was probably more bewildered than he had ever been in his life. He wasn’t sure whether or not to ask… Clearly, there was a whole lot going on here that he didn’t understand, and all his previous ideas about Bert’s past had just been tossed away.

“Are you okay?” Frank said slowly.

Bert very obviously wasn’t okay, but he moved from his slouched position, sighing and pulling his hands away from his face. “I’ll be fine.”

Frank looked back at Gerard as if to ask him if he knew what was going on, but the latter just shook his head, appearing equally confused. And Frank couldn’t even begin to imagine what Mikey must think of all this. He already seemed oddly sedated and Frank wondered if he’d be a lot less calm once a few hours had passed. He hadn’t even really reacted to Gerard being there, as if he couldn’t fully register what was going on.

Frank wondered why Thaddaeus had all of them there together. He wondered if that was going to be used against them…

He dropped his hands from Gerard’s shoulders and rubbed them together, busy thinking. He could see Gerard looking over at Bert, but neither of them said anything, and it was quiet and oddly tense. Frank didn’t feel anything like himself.

And then Bert was speaking again, capturing everyone’s attention. He was staring off into space, looking solemn. “I haven’t been honest with you. I’m sorry.”

Gerard was surprisingly quick to respond. “What is going on?”

“I…God, I hate talking about it. I haven’t told anyone in years. But you all need to know, I know you do.” Bert looked down at Mikey then and almost seemed to remember he was there. “Wait, here, let me help you out while I talk. It’s a long story.”

When he placed his hand against Mikey’s temple to heal him, Gerard knit his brow in confusion, just watching. “Are you…are you doing magic?”

Bert let out a shaky sigh. “Yes.”

“I didn’t know you- Is that what this is about?”

“No.”

Gerard looked back at Frank as if to ask him the same question that had been silently passed between them earlier – could _he _know what all of this meant? But Frank just shook his head as well. He was sincerely lost, didn’t know what was happening any better than Gerard did.

“I should probably just spit it out.” Bert sighed and tensed like he was bracing himself. “I understand if you’re upset with me after this, I really do. To give you the barest of summaries, I was one of them once. A vampire.”

_Oh._

Frank nodded slowly, but on the inside, he felt the complete shock of the words Bert had just spoken. It hit him all at once and he was even in disbelief for a moment, wondering if he’d just heard him incorrectly. Frank had been expecting a few different explanations and that was definitely not one of them, but the more he thought about it, the more it started to make sense. Bert had shown enmity towards the vampires since the beginning, had so much knowledge about them that he was more than willing to use against them. And now it made sense why Thaddaeus only felt threatened once he realized Bert was helping the rest of them.

Gerard’s face was relatively blank, but Frank could practically hear his mind working from where he sat.

“I was turned when I was sixteen,” Bert continued. “I guess they saw some sort of potential in me, because about a year later they decided they wanted me to help them destroy the world.” He sighed and shook his head. “But they… The thing is, I went through a lot of shit as a kid. My childhood was…rough, for lack of a better word. They used that as an incentive because they knew as soon as I didn’t have a soul anymore, I would do pretty much anything to get back at all the people who hurt me. And I know I still have to take some responsibility for it, at least; it _was _my choice to help them, and that will never change no matter what. And I feel guilty for it all the time.”

“How is that possible?” Gerard breathed. “I _knew _you when you were sixteen, and even way before then. How…?”

“You knew a version of me,” Bert said.

“A version? What, did you live two different lives?”

“Yes, actually.”

Frank’s brain hurt, and Gerard was speechless now.

“See, that’s the complicated part,” Bert said. “Back in 1984 – not the one you remember, but a _different _1984 – I was supposed to find a way to kill you. Yes, you. I ended up _not _actually killing you, but I rewrote history in the process. On accident. Now I guess I was technically never a vampire at all, but I’m still missing half my soul, and I have two sets of memories, which I can promise you is just as awful as it sounds.”

Gerard didn’t say anything else, but Frank decided to speak up with a question. “You’re a time traveler?”

Bert smiled sadly. “Something like that,” he said. “As long as you’re not too freaked out yet, I promise I’ll tell you the whole story.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> {Chelsea Wolfe - Iron Moon}
> 
> Probably gonna wait a little bit to start writing the next chapter since I have a lot of school assignments to work on, but I'll try my best not to update super late. <3


	24. Soul Mining, pt. 1

_“You were taken in / By a heart of fool’s gold.”_

* * *

_ **11.05.1985** _

There were times when reality was cold and harsh and entirely unpleasant. There was nothing redeemable about it. There was no “bright side.” It simply was what it was.

This was something Bert had realized when he was far too young. And now, after all these years of his life – even those that were never meant to run their course in the first place – he tried his best not to let it harden his heart. He wished to be a better person than those who came before him in his lineage, better than the mindless fury he still fought to keep from embodying.

In recent months, he had thought things were finally going to be okay. He thought he had come across a stroke of luck so golden it should have been impossible.

And, well, apparently it had been impossible. Because he hadn’t gotten so lucky after all.

He sat at his desk, hands trembling as he looked through the small stack of polaroids held between them. There was no draft, but the curtains over his window fluttered with the breath of his magic spiraling around the room as his emotions spiraled through his chest, creating a sensation of burning panic that he couldn’t ignore any longer. He scanned over the photos with wide eyes and bit the inside of his cheek until it began to bleed.

Reality had never really left him alone. It had always been watching, waiting, ready to knock him off his feet again. And now it was finally time.

How could he have been so stupid? How could he have missed _this_? All it took was a spell – albeit a dangerous one – and a keen eye to spot; all it took was a bit more vigilance on his part. He had thought leaving behind his paranoia would be good for him, for the people close to him, but evidently not. Because if he didn’t act fast, the person he cared about most was going to die.

Bert’s dilemma was how to go about actually saving him without counteracting everything. He knew better than anyone how dangerous this situation was, and that if he fucked this up, everyone in the town could be at risk.

Uttering the name of their kind alone could be damning. Bert knew how elusive they were, knew they could hide in plain sight. One could never know for absolute certain when they were listening or when they were one hundred miles away, and even Bert’s own watchful eye could be successfully averted.

What terrified him furthermore was this meant they knew he was back – back in Malimore, returned from the distant stretches of reality. He was never meant to touch the corners of the universe that he had, and he doubted he was ever really meant to come back here at all, but…here he was. Though he had struggled in his youth to buy into the idea that the universe was sentient, now he wholeheartedly believed it. Surely he was meant to be here. Surely this had a purpose.

It was just difficult to discern what that purpose could be when he’d fucked up so many times, and now he was fucking up all over again. Majorly.

Bert listened to the empty room around him. Or at least he hoped it was empty. His skin prickled the longer he stared at the polaroids and at the chilling distortions trapped within the frames – blurry silhouettes and shadowed faces and glimmering eyes hidden in the backgrounds. The routine stalking hadn’t felt so creepy before, when Bert was still one of them, but being on the other end of it was fucking terrifying. He knew damn well there could be one in this room right now and he would never even know if it didn’t want him to know.

He glanced over his shoulder, then out the darkened window. There were goosebumps covering his skin, but he couldn’t focus too much on that now.

Instead, he scoured through a mental list of every single person he could possibly get to help him keep Gerard safe, and in the end, he came up short. No one else could know about this. No one could question it or become suspicious. Bert was going to have to do this on his own.

His polaroids were all spread out on the desk now, creating a collage of moments that had taken place over the past year, all frozen in time behind plastic windows. The sight of the obvious, laid out right before his eyes, appearing in the shadows of almost every single image, made him want to scream until his lungs gave out – at himself, at the sky, at the creatures who had ruined him and were now about to ruin his best friend…

Bert swept the pictures all into the floor with one aggravated motion of his arm and proceeded to lay his head down on his desk. He didn’t cry, he just squeezed his eyes shut and wished the world would go away.

Bert didn’t feel any self-pity now. Well, maybe a bit. Simply because this was not at all the first time something catastrophic had happened to him, and he didn’t understand why his life couldn’t just be _normal_. But all of that aside, most of the turmoil Bert was feeling was for Gerard. Because he knew exactly what was going to happen to him, and just how horrible it would be, and Bert didn’t know how he was ever going to be able to face Gerard’s parents and pretend he had no idea where their son had gone. He didn’t want Mikey to feel the pain of losing a sibling. And if he had just figured this out sooner, it all could have been avoided.

Maybe.

Bert didn’t really know anymore. All he knew was he had to try and stop it somehow. If he just stood by and let it happen, he would never be able to forgive himself.

It was after midnight now. He knew Gerard would probably still be awake. It was a weeknight, and while Gerard never skipped out on finishing his school assignments, he did wait until the very last minute to work on them, which often kept him up until ungodly hours.

Bert punched his number into the telephone sat on the corner of his desk and listened to it ring apprehensively, picking at his cuticles.

Gerard picked up after the fourth ring, which was an honest relief. “Hello?”

“Hi,” Bert said. “You busy?”

“Well.” Gerard paused for a moment. “I’m working on that paper for Ms. Green’s class, but please feel free to distract me.”

Bert had suspected as much. He chuckled and began to twist the phone cord around his fingertips. “The one that’s due tomorrow?”

“That’s the one. You know me – I work better under pressure.”

“I’m gonna finish mine tomorrow morning,” Bert said, glancing over at the small stack of papers that made up his half-finished persuasive essay. He’d planned to put it off as usual, but he’d been far too distracted to devote his time to it regardless. He had more important things to worry about now than school.

“Christ, that stresses me out,” Gerard said. Bert could hear a few clacks of typewriter keys in the background as he still continued to write.

“Bullshitting papers is a talent of mine. You should know this.”

“Oh, I know. It’s really not fair. So, did you call to ask for help?”

“Nope. Can’t sleep, bored outta my mind.” _And scared for your life, _but Bert couldn’t exactly say that out loud.

“Go write, then,” Gerard laughed. “Put your time to good use.”

Bert hummed, pretended to consider it. “No, I don’t think I will. Bothering you is more fun.”

“That’s fair. This is a fucking drag.”

They talked for a long while and Bert was no less concerned even though Gerard sounded perfectly fine. There were gaps in their conversation occasionally as Gerard continued to work, but it wasn’t uncomfortable. They had a habit of keeping one another company on the phone while they did other things, mostly when it was late at night and they were at risk of falling asleep before they could finish their work.

Other than the fact that he just enjoyed Gerard’s company, Bert wasn’t quite sure what the point of calling him had been in the first place. What had he hoped to accomplish? There was no good way to tell the other what was going on, after all… Bert supposed he just needed to hear Gerard’s voice, find out if he was still doing alright.

By the time he looked at his watch again, it was almost two o’clock. Gerard needed to get to sleep, but Bert was so hesitant to let him go. Something in his stomach roiled at the very thought of it.

Gerard yawned a few minutes later and the sound of a staple being driven through a stack of papers was audible through the phone speaker. “God_damn_. I’m finally finished.”

“Really?” Bert said. “You did all that just now?”

“Well, I got most of it done earlier today. Just had to revise, mostly.” He yawned again. “Hm. Guess I should probably go now.”

At that, heat trickled down Bert’s forehead like boiling water. “H-hold on. Um…” He was so worried, but he had no idea how to communicate that without putting Gerard in even more danger than he already was.

“Huh?” Gerard said.

“Uh, I don’t- I just…” Bert couldn’t think of any good excuse to make Gerard stay even though his mind was tirelessly racing for one.

“Hey, are you good?” Gerard asked in a softer voice. “If I’m being honest, you’ve been acting kinda off this entire time. Is there something wrong?”

Shit. He always was good at picking up on it when people close to him were upset.

Part of Bert wanted so badly to be able to explain what was going on, but then even if he could, it’s not like Gerard would believe him anyway. Why would he? To any regular person, Bert’s concerns would sound absolutely ridiculous. It was a popular belief now that the creatures who lived in the Woods were mostly harmless, if not utterly harmless, if not entirely nonexistent.

It was terrible. And Bert knew they had kept to themselves for so long for that exact purpose – to keep people from thinking they had any real reason to be afraid. But that was simply not true.

“Nothing. Nothing’s wrong. It’s…” But Bert didn’t finish his statement. He couldn’t think of a good excuse. He was too busy worrying and staring at his bulletin board, eyes sweeping across the picture he’d taken of Gerard on his birthday and staring some more. It was one of the few photos that didn’t have that unnatural darkness somewhere within the frame – the darkness that Bert had meticulously drawn out…

With a rush of intense shame, he thought of all the lies he’d allowed Gerard to believe. Hell, he didn’t even know Bert practiced witchcraft in the first place. He didn’t know the truth about his past.

Well…Bert supposed it wasn’t technically the truth anymore. His past had been erased from their timeline. It had never existed at all outside his remaining memories. But still, he felt incredibly guilty about it all. He didn’t think he’d ever _stop _feeling guilty.

He was so lost in thought that he didn’t realize it had been a while since Gerard had last spoken. It was all quiet now. And upon this realization, Bert’s heart jolted in his chest. “Gee?”

There was a bit of a pause just before Gerard hummed. “Oh, I zoned out for a minute. I’m sleepy.” A bit of shuffling. “Did I miss something? Sorry.”

“That’s okay,” Bert said. “No…no, I didn’t say anything else.”

“Alright, well… Are you _sure _nothing’s wrong?”

“Yeah, I’m fine.” Bert couldn’t think of anything else to talk about that wouldn’t make Gerard even more suspicious. He was clearly falling asleep and Bert should probably just let him go. All he could do now was keep looking for a good way to keep Gerard safe and pray nothing would happen to him in the meantime. “Well, I guess I’ll leave you alone now…”

There was no response. Bert listened intently but suddenly, there was nothing but silence on the other line. Not even the sound of breathing.

“You there?” he asked nervously.

And for less than a second, there was a jarring noise that could only be compared to a car driving over loose gravel, even though that wasn’t exactly it. Except it was right in Bert’s ear, loud enough to make him flinch, before there was a sharp click and a resounding dial tone.

His heart dropped straight through the earth itself. He had heard that noise before.

“Fuck,” he said, matter-of-factly, just before he stood up fast enough to make his head spin and grabbed his keys from his nightstand, hurrying out the door as quickly but as quietly as he possibly could. He stood still, checking to make sure the coast was clear in the hallway, before making a beeline for the stairwell and descending, exiting into the parking lot without looking back even once.

Outside it was cold, and there were cracks of lightning off in the distance, and everything looked so much more sinister when accompanied by the truth.

_ **11.16.2003** _

There had been a moment of absolute terror when the mass of vampires up above had gone entirely still. That had lasted for at least ten minutes.

Lindsey hadn’t even wanted to _breathe_. She knew all three of them were protected by magic as well as the cover of the shrubs they hunkered underneath, but the possibility of all those creatures descending on them at once definitely crossed her mind. What were they supposed to do if that happened? How were they supposed to defend themselves?

The vampires still whispered above them in ancient tongues, punctuated by sharp hissing sounds and growls so low in pitch they were nearly imperceptible to the human ear. There was something so chilling about it, about watching them all locomote in one unnatural collective. Maybe it was knowing that all of them had been human once before, and now seeing them in such an unnatural manner gave the impression their humanity had been stripped away entirely. It was a deeply disturbing thought.

But finally, _finally_, they began to move again. It was quiet and incredibly tense, but they had finished passing in a few minutes’ time, and Lindsey felt like she could breathe.

Jamia, however, was visibly distraught. She wrung her hands together and stared down at the ground, whispering, “I shouldn’t have told them to come.”

She thought whatever had just happened had something to do with Frank and Bert, Lindsey realized. And quite honestly, she couldn’t help but wonder the same thing.

“Let’s wait for them a little longer,” Ray said. But even he didn’t follow that statement up with his usual “they’re probably fine,” and something about that made Lindsey feel much, much more unsure.

Quite a bit of time passed during which the three of them sat in silence, staring off into the darkness. Eventually, Ray checked his watch and said it had been twenty minutes since the vampires passed. There was still no sign of Bert or Frank, and Lindsey was starting to really worry.

“God.” Jamia pressed her hand to her forehead, eyes tightly shut. “Why did I…? I’m such an _idiot_. I shouldn’t have told them to come. We would’ve been fine.”

“Maybe they just had to stop and hide,” Lindsey said. “That could be why they’re taking so long.”

Jamia shook her head. “I don’t know. What if something happened?”

“There’s no way to know for sure,” Ray said. “Unless we text them, but that’d be too risky if they’re here somewhere.” He glanced down at his watch again and then up at Lindsey nervously. “What we do know is we can’t wait much longer if they have Mikey. We need to keep going.”

Lindsey nodded in agreement. She could still detect a faint trace of whatever energy she’d been following earlier, and as she visualized it in her mind’s eye, it appeared to be going the same direction in which the vampires were headed. That wasn’t exactly a comforting thing.

She realized then that there was a good chance it would lead them straight to the clearing, and…going there like this, with minimal supplies and without Frank and Bert to help them, was definitely not the smartest idea. But at the same time, if the vampires had Mikey and were about to take his soul…

“Actually, I don’t know if we should just yet,” Lindsey said. “I don’t want to walk right into danger when we have so little protection.”

Ray knit his brow. “You think we should stay here a little longer?”

Lindsey sighed. “Well…yes. If we do stay, I can at least try to follow this energy I’m picking up on and see where it leads – that way we’re not just sitting here waiting around. But I’ll need one of you to bring me back if something goes wrong.”

Ray nodded. “We can do that.”

Jamia didn’t respond for a moment. She had her head cast down and her arms were wrapped tightly around her midsection, and she honestly looked close to tears, which, as far as Lindsey was aware, was unusual for her. “I’m so sorry,” she whispered. “I don’t know what I was thinking. If something happened to them then that’s all my fault. _God_, I just…I thought they were far enough behind us that they would be fine.”

“We’re all in a panic, I think. None of us are really thinking like we normally do,” Ray said. “It’s not like either of us tried to stop you, either… _Anyway_, let’s just try to find them and go from there. It doesn’t matter whose fault it is or isn’t.”

He was right – they _were _in a panic and it had affected every single one of them. Lindsey realized now that they probably shouldn’t have even split up in the first place. This entire night had just gone terribly wrong.

And what if it was all a trap? What if the vampires knew exactly what they were doing, and it wouldn’t have even mattered if they’d split up or if Jamia had told the other two to come or not? What if the disaster what inevitable?

Lindsey quickly discarded that thought from her mind. She had to stay somewhat optimistic or she would lose her focus and then this could all very well go to shit, and now was _not _the time to let everything go to shit.

“You know what? I’ll see if I can find the two of them first. Then I’ll follow the energy trail,” she said. Maybe that would ease some of their worries.

So they all settled down more comfortably beneath the shrubs, prepared to stay awhile, and Lindsey began to sink into her mind again, slipping away from what was physical and concentrating on immersing herself in the spiritual world.

After a surprisingly short amount of time, she managed to find something _very _substantial – or, rather, it found her. It was an obvious signal of magic directed at her specifically, although she couldn’t quite pin down where it was coming from yet. It had been flowing from its source for quite a while now, continuously calling out, and it was clear whoever sent it knew exactly what they were doing. It _must_ have come from a witch, then, but…who would that even be?

Lindsey’s heart fell a bit as she hoped it wasn’t really a vampire. She hoped she hadn’t just revealed her whereabouts by keeping herself open in hopes of finding their friends.

She tried to ask who it was coming from as discreetly as possible, reaching out and tying the thread of communication magic together with her own, forming a secure knot. The answer was abundantly clear then, and it thoroughly surprised her.

This magic belonged to none other than Bert, and he had just given her his approximate physical location along with a distress signal.

_ **08.17.1984** _

Sometimes Bert wondered if the reason time travel held such an appeal to him was that he’d been running from the claws of reality for most of his life, from the choking grasp of the things he’d seen, and sailing along time itself granted him freedom transcending what was possible for most other human beings living on the face of the earth. He had possessed basic time travel abilities since he was eleven and had been manipulating the element of magic since he was two – it wasn’t that he was some sort of genius or anything, it was just that he was a blood witch.

Every human possessed the ability to wield magic if they worked hard for it, but blood witches were, for reasons unknown to most of the world, born with the ability to manipulate it without any prior study or practice. It was an extremely rare genetic anomaly granted to people at random, but Bert, along with his entire family, had obtained it artificially through means that were…well, _entirely _ethically unsound.

But Bert didn’t want to think about his family now.

Anyways. Time travel.

It was interesting because it was more comparable to learning a new language than anything else. Time was not linear at all whatsoever, so an inexperienced traveler would often search around blindly, trying to get a feel for what was where and where was what, until they learned to read the spacetime continuum itself. And because traveling through time also meant traveling through space, they could later learn to end up in the _place_ they wanted, whether that was a dimension, a universe, a planet, an exact location…

But if one wasn’t careful, they could wind up altering reality. It was more difficult to do than all the movies made it out to be – reality was very elastic and tended to snap back into place when faced with small disturbances, repair itself before any paradoxes could be set off. However, certain actions could cause stretches of time to be rewritten, from short spans to the whole course of history. Reality had already been altered hundreds of times before for reasons unknown. One could only remember that it had been altered if they were the one doing the altering, but there were ways to calculate the number of changes that had been made.

For those reasons, one was _technically _only supposed to time travel by using some higher, metaphysical dimension. They could still observe everything that was happening, but no one would know they were there, and they wouldn’t have any effect on the world around them seeing as time didn’t exist in the spiritual realm. Materializing in a lower, strictly physical dimension was either an amateur mistake or something one could only safely do if they’d had decades upon decades of experience.

Skills of that nature – ones that bent the so-called “laws” of physics – were entirely inaccessible to anyone who didn’t have the magic-wielding gene and often required up to a decade of study for those who did, but Bert had poured himself into his practice and caught on to it unusually quick.

Maybe he was just talented, but it didn’t matter. It had never mattered, and it never would.

Abilities such as time travel had always been expected of him, and that was still the case even now. It was expected of every vampire. Because they existed somewhere between life and death, their bodies were decaying but only just so, meaning the magic that kept them alive rendered their forms semi-physical. Therefore, they were able to travel to almost any dimension they wanted so long as they had enough power to get there.

Bert took advantage of this quite often. When he wasn’t working on completing the mission he’d been assigned, he was exploring. There was always a slight possibility he wouldn’t be able to find his way back, but…well, he couldn’t really bring himself to care. Bert trusted his own abilities to get him by, anyway.

And right now, he wasn’t entirely sure _where _he was. He had gone out without a destination in mind, and everything around him currently was dark and lava-like, just like most of the spaces that existed between pockets of time. He could exit anytime he wanted, but his surroundings didn’t feel quite right yet. His senses told him he was several hundred years in the past, but the past was quickly fading into a sector of the future – somewhere in the 2000s – that was oddly interrupted by an onyx gradient leading to a time pocket just parallel to this one, where the hands of clocks spun in rapid circles before snapping into pieces. It was somewhere off to the left, and it piqued Bert’s curiosity. He had never picked up on a section of time that was so confusing and ever-changing like this one was.

He followed the dark trail of energy to this strange place, growing closer and closer until he finally broke past the blackened clouds, met with a wash of overwhelming dizziness, but that was to be expected. His body was simply adjusting to the new dimension, warping to fit its constraints. When the process was finally finished, Bert glanced down at his hands out of curiosity. His skin looked as if it was made of gemstones.

He walked forward through the dark, footsteps echoing in the space around him. The slick floor was covered in about an inch of some unknown liquid, and the air was pulled taut and buzzing like piano wires. Bert took a breath and felt the frequencies filling his lungs.

He reached out in front of him and focused on wrapping his hands around the darkness. When he actually succeeded, he felt a swell of pride; he was utilizing magic so advanced that many often failed to learn it at all, but here he was, successful, with his fists clutching the very fabric of spacetime itself. Bert parted it with gentle precision, simply wishing to cast his eyes upon whatever laid beyond.

He opened up a gap just large enough to slip through, and he could feel it vibrate in his bones when it snapped shut behind him. He was standing on a transparent surface now, and that unusual pocket he’d detected, the one where time seemed to have gone off the rails entirely, was directly beneath him. Bert laid down on his stomach and cupped his hands around his eyes, and he slowly took in the scene that laid below.

At first, it was all blurry, but then it unfolded before him – everything was washed in brilliant blue and there were several figures drifting around, seeming to float closer the more Bert focused on them. They were all gathered together on a sort of vaguely circular, mostly abstract plane, and Bert would’ve assumed he was seeing several points in time and space at once, but it was as if the continuum had somehow been destroyed here…

He was surprised when he found he _recognized _the figures. They were vampires, but there were others as well – smaller forms with pale, shimmering skin, and they were…

Bert squinted. What _was _happening? It was safe to assume the smaller ones were human souls, as they matched the visual description perfectly. But they were…_god_, they were…

There were no words to explain it exactly as it was, but it was as if each of them was bound to the walls of the universe itself and they would sometimes contort into unknowable monsters or shapes that should never have existed, or their limbs would warp to become beings of their own, or they were shoved into multiple dimensions at once, forcing different sections of their forms to adjust to different rules, and they would scream and strain in desperation as if to escape the confines of their own bodies. And Bert could hear them now, could hear the gurgling wails rippling from their throats and the deafening rush of spacetime disintegrating as if it was screaming too.

It wasn’t conventional torture, it wasn’t anything even comprehensible to a human mind. The torture had less to do with pain and more to do with the fact that their humanity was being severely violated.

Bert watched in shock as one of them was torn apart and then consumed. He had taken souls himself since he’d been turned, drawn them from the chests of half-dead humans, but he’d never had one free of a body and fully conscious. He couldn’t even remember what it’d been like to have his own soul taken because he had been mercifully incapacitated by a powerful spell, but actually _watching _it happen like that…

Bert had been so frozen by the shock and horror of it all that he hadn’t realized what exactly he was looking at. But then he took the ruined state of time and space into account, and he got a feel for where he was relative to the rest of the universe’s timeline, and he examined the blue light that washed over the scene, and he had an epiphany: _this _was what was going to happen once Thaddaeus’s Fault in the continuum cracked open and consumed everything within their pocket of the multiverse. This is how everyone would suffer until they were devoured alive.

Up until now, Bert supposed he hadn’t really known. He hadn’t been told it would be quite like this. He knew it would be hellish, yes, but… Now that he was actually seeing it right in front of him, now that reality had struck him square in the chest, his blood ran colder than the darkest depths of space. He was trembling.

He was about to willingly condemn every single person on earth to this.

Bert didn’t know what to make of that.

He stayed there for a while longer. Numb. He continued to watch as the events played out before him, but eventually, it became so horrible and so overwhelming that he just couldn’t look anymore. He had to find his way away from here.

He struggled to find his grasp on the continuum again. But eventually, clouds of darkness began to swirl around him, and he was swept away on the road back to where he came from.

Bert was so utterly disturbed that he nearly missed it when he passed by his destination, but he worked his way out just in time and landed back in his small house in the Woods, built with magenta bricks infused with magical properties, lit with blue flames that drew their energy from the Fault itself.

He sat down on the edge of his bed and just thought about it. He contemplated the horror he’d seen for hours and hours, staring blankly. It was as if someone had doused him in freezing cold water and woken him up, removed the scales from his eyes after he’d been blinded by his rage towards the world and towards those who had wounded him.

He still believed those specific people were deserving of the rage. After all, Bert was far from being the only person they’d hurt. They’d destroyed the lives of hundreds of innocent people, but…_fuck_, wasn’t that exactly what the vampires were doing as well? Was Bert really going to bring suffering upon every single existing soul just because of a personal vendetta?

Maybe he was. He _had _to, right? He’d agreed to it.

“Oh god,” Bert sighed, head in his hands. What if he could just…try to reason with Thaddaeus? Maybe they could come to some sort of compromise. Maybe what he’d seen hadn’t even been real at all, it’d just been…

No, it must have been real. It _must _have been.

Bert thought he’d lost all his morality along with his soul, and up until now, he hadn’t even given a damn. But suddenly it all came rushing back to him, bursting through his hardened rage, and he felt sick and guilty and he didn’t know how on earth to stop it.

_**11.16.2003** _

Bert had only gotten through telling part of his story when a nameless vampire arrived to check up on the four of them. It seemed they were being constantly surveilled.

Gerard had broken down as soon as the creature appeared, falling into a panic attack that he’d only just come down from, refusing to let anyone come near him. It felt like it had gone on for an eternity, and while Frank did his best to comfort him from a distance, he couldn’t pretend he knew exactly what he was doing. He’d seen the effects of all Gerard had been through on a sort of suppressed scale during the time they’d spent together back home, but it hadn’t been anything like this.

Frank’s heart ached so terribly. Gerard sat a good distance away from the other three, hugging his knees to his chest and staring blankly off into space.

Bert continued to sit with his hand on Mikey’s shoulder. The latter was still incredibly dazed, awake but entirely unresponsive at this point. Frank worried about what the vampires had done to him, but Bert continued to pour his magic into him in hopes of bringing him back to them fully.

Frank watched as Bert closed his eyes and took a few deep breaths, keeping them shut for several long minutes. Frank felt both intrigue and edging concern as the other’s eyes rolled back into his head, visible even behind his closed eyelids.

Bert opened them again just a few seconds later and looked over at Frank. He didn’t open his mouth, but Frank could hear his voice loud and clear inside his head – he was speaking telepathically. _“I just found Lindsey.”_

Frank raised his eyebrows and sat up a little straighter. That was by far the best news he’d heard all night. Obviously he couldn’t respond in the same way, but he mouthed, “Really?”

_“Yes. They’re in the Woods, but they’re safe for now.”_ Bert looked back down at Mikey and moved his fingertips to his temple, waiting a few seconds before knitting his brow in concern. _“I’m trying to get them to help us from the outside, but we need to be extremely careful about that. Maybe…maybe we could still figure out a way to do the spell… Agh, no, no, that isn’t going to work now. The vampires already know that’s what we’d planned to do before. I’m approaching this all wrong…” _He looked to Frank, appearing apologetic. _“Ah, sorry to barge into your head. It’s just too dangerous to say this out loud.”_

Frank nodded and said silently, “It’s okay.”

Telepathy wasn’t the same as clairvoyance – the former could be learned whereas the latter could not, and Bert had already clarified he wasn’t clairvoyant, so he couldn’t actually see what was going on inside Frank’s head unless the latter chose to speak back. However, telepathy was an extremely difficult skill to learn. Bert had mentioned studying advanced magic from a young age, but now Frank wondered just how powerful he actually was.

Several minutes later, Gerard slowly and quietly made his way over to where Frank sat, his face utterly devoid of anything except exhaustion. Frank turned to glance over at him, not making any sudden moves after seeing the violent fright that had caused earlier, and to his surprise, Gerard simply crawled right next to him and rested his head against his shoulder.

Frank wrapped his arms around the other cautiously. Gerard settled himself in Frank’s lap and rested his body against him, curled protectively in on himself, and Frank wasn’t sure there were any words to be said at all.

Everything was quiet for a very long while. There was no way to keep track of time, but it felt like at least an hour. Gerard hadn’t moved, not even an inch, and Mikey was still halfway unconscious in spite of Bert’s best efforts.

Frank pressed occasional kisses to Gerard’s hair, hummed to him softly in hopes of giving him something else to put his mind on at the very least. He didn’t care who saw anymore.

And then came Bert’s voice, breaking through the silence in Frank’s mind like a wave. _“Does it hurt?” _he asked.

Frank looked up at him questioningly, because a lot of things seemed to hurt at the moment.

Bert smiled, and it was a painfully sad one. _“Loving someone so much.”_

Frank really didn’t know how to answer that question. It seemed profoundly simple, but it was, in fact, not so simple after all.

_ **08.20.1984** _

Three days after the time travel incident, Bert was still so conflicted about what to do, and it was absolutely killing him.

Right now, he was meeting with Thaddaeus in the typical place – the grandiose pocket between dimensions that overlooked the Fault. Its cold light illuminated the rune-carved table in front of Bert, and it made him feel a bit sick as it reminded him of the horrors he’d accidentally witnessed. Even the luminance of the intersecting worlds and the distant cosmos around him did nothing to calm his nerves or ease the battle going on inside his head. On one hand, he suddenly felt terribly guilty for endangering the entirety of humankind, which was complete emotional whiplash in and of itself. On the other hand, he was oddly upset about disappointing Thaddaeus, and he still really wanted revenge on his family.

“What brings us here today?” Thaddaeus asked, breaking the silence. His expression was entirely unreadable, but then, that was nothing out of the ordinary. Maybe Bert had just forgotten just how menacingly _blank _he could be sometimes. It wasn’t an absent blankness; it was an intelligent one. It was ancient, backed by years and years of knowledge and experience and painful hollowness.

So, yes, Bert was intimidated. This whole situation was quite nerve-wracking, actually. And yet, he still felt regretful. Some part of himself wholeheartedly believed Thaddaeus was the only person to ever truly have faith in him, to ever truly give a damn about him at all, and Bert didn’t want to let that go. He didn’t want to let anyone else down. He couldn’t, he couldn’t, he couldn’t, and yet…

“I wanted to talk about my assignment,” Bert said. To his relief, his voice didn’t shake on the way out. “I’ve, ah…been thinking a lot about it lately.”

Thaddaeus leaned back, still expressionless. “Have you? Do tell.”

“Well.” Bert cleared his throat. “I guess for starters…you know I really like to time travel, right?”

The other nodded.

“I had some spare time a few days ago, so I just went out to see what I could find. It was just the usual at first. Nothing exciting.” Fuck. He just needed to get to the point, to blurt it out. “Anyway, I found this really strange time pocket. I was curious, so I went to go take a look, and I…I didn’t mean to see what I saw. I swear it was an accident.”

Thaddaeus’s face had grown just a bit stonier. The lines in his skin were more defined, darkened by shadows, and his clasped hands were less relaxed now.

Bert didn’t like this. Not one bit.

“What did you see?” Thaddaeus asked.

Bert took a deep breath. This was it. This was the moment that everything he’d built here could very well crumble to pieces, and he could bring damning disappointment crashing down upon him. He didn’t want to, but he’d already come this far. “I saw what happens after the Fault splits.”

Silence.

Thaddaeus didn’t move. He didn’t even appear to be breathing anymore. His eyes stayed open, white and luminescent in the dim, and Bert was practically wilting underneath his stare. Nothing had ever felt so cold in his entire life.

“How do you know that’s what you saw?” Thaddaeus finally asked.

“Well…for one, it was at the right location in the continuum,” Bert said. “Or, you know, lack thereof. Um. The progression of time was weird. It was all wrong, like it didn’t exist anymore. And then I saw you, and everyone else, and I saw…all of the souls.”

The vampire’s mouth curled into a smile at that – a nasty, unfeeling smile that Bert didn’t like at all. And then he said almost bemusedly, “You came here to tell me you don’t want any part of this anymore.”

Bert opened his mouth wordlessly for a moment. “Well, I- I didn’t say that.”

Thaddaeus laughed humorlessly. “I’m no fool. You wouldn’t have asked to speak with me if coming across such a thing didn’t trouble you.”

“It did bother me a little,” Bert admitted, “but I don’t want out altogether. I just wanted to see-”

“I won’t take requests to modify my plans from someone of your rank.”

Oh.

Quite honestly, that felt a bit like a stab to Bert’s chest. He wasn’t sure why; maybe he’d thought he was a bit more than just another pawn, solider, follower, whatever the hell. He didn’t know anymore.

“Listen to me,” Thaddaeus said, leaning forward. “Believe me when I say I see great potential in you. The work you’ve done so far has been truly outstanding, but I _have_ noticed a change in your behavior over the last few days, and I suspected your returning sense of guilt – or something similar – was the culprit.”

Bert swallowed thickly and looked down at his lap.

“And I’m disappointed. I’m disappointed in myself for allowing you so much freedom so soon. You know, if I had wanted to, I could’ve barred you from the possibility of seeing that future at all.” Thaddaeus paused for a moment. “But I’m mostly disappointed in you, Bert. You’re so much stronger than this. I’m sorry you’ve made the choice to be weak.”

Bert had heard this kind of spiel before. Multiple times. Most recently from his own mother, what felt like forever ago, when he’d tried to explain to her for the umpteenth time why he didn’t agree with his family’s cruelty, with their thoughtless acts of destruction and the means by which they made all their “profound” scientific discoveries. He’d always been one to trust his gut, to trust his feelings, but doing so had brought him to this point time and time again, and it hurt no less every time it happened.

Maybe he was just a fuck up. Maybe this was all stupid.

“Do you have anything else you’d like to say?” Thaddaeus asked.

Bert needed to tell him no. Everything was screaming at him to tell him no. But then he didn’t. His voice did shake this time as it passed through his lips, but his words were enough on their own. “I just don’t agree with it. I don’t think it’s right. I understand being angry, I do. There are people who I would like to see get the hell they deserve, but _all _of humanity doesn’t need that. I mean, you- god, you’re going to torture them forever! You can’t just…” Bert sighed and shook his head. “There has to be another way. I don’t know exactly why you’re doing this or what your specific motivation is, but there _has _to be something else.”

Thaddaeus’s smile had only grown during the short period of time Bert had spent speaking. “I see.” He rose from his seat abruptly and gestured for Bert to do the same. “Please come with me. I have something to show you.”

Bert was hesitant, but he did as he was told. He followed Thaddaeus to their right until they were several feet away from the table, and they stood side by side as they stared out over the Fault. His apprehension was rising.

“I need you to understand that noncompliance is a threat to me,” Thaddaeus said.

“I _do_ understand that, but that’s not what this is.”

“It is, actually, because this matter is entirely _non-negotiable_.” Thaddaeus turned to face Bert then, and his voice was more raised than it had been before. It was more raised than Bert had ever heard it, and it caused him to jump. “Either you’re committed to this till the end or you’re not committed at all.”

Bert honestly felt faint, and a dreadful realization came to him. The other vampire was not only deeply disappointed in him but now he was angry with him as well. Bert knew exactly what Thaddaeus was capable of when he was angry and he was beginning to become seriously frightened, flinching every time the other made any sort of move. Bert couldn’t believe this had gone bad so quickly, he couldn’t believe he’d just fucked up so terribly…

“So, that being said, it seems to me that you _are _noncompliant,” Thaddaeus continued. “Which is a shame, considering you’ve already been trusted with so much precious information.”

Bert’s heart stuttered at the sound of those words. That was something he hadn’t considered – he knew the vampires’ secrets, and the last thing any of them wanted was for those to get out to anyone else. Thaddaeus was going to want to shut him up somehow in order to ensure their safety, and he could do that in a whole number of ways, none of which Bert really wanted to think about. _Fuck_, there was no way he was getting out of this now.

He couldn’t make for an escape either. If Bert tried to flee, Thaddaeus would definitely catch him before he could go very far. And at that point, whatever consequences he faced would be worlds worse than what was originally intended, if that was even possible at all.

Thaddaeus’s angry expression dropped from his face in an alarmingly short span of time, and he smiled at Bert again with saccharine sweetness. “Tell me, Bert – have you ever wondered what your Achilles’ heel is? Now that you’re technically immortal?”

Bert’s body had gone rigid now. His heart was beating out of his chest.

“Humankind has sought to uncover our weaknesses for decades. Predictably, most of what they’ve come up with is ineffective – there’s only one way to ever really, truly, _permanently_ do away with one of us.”

Bert began to back away without really thinking about it, legs trembling as he went. This was bad. This was really, _really _bad. And, of course, Thaddaeus followed right after him.

Why did he ever think this would be a good idea?

“Would you care to take any guesses?” Thaddaeus asked, reaching out to grip Bert’s arm, fingernails digging into his skin like serrated razors.

“Stop!” Bert yelped. He felt like he might pass out. He reached up to grab Thaddaeus’s hand, but it was absolutely no use. He had never felt terror like this before. “Don’t- oh god, please don’t hurt me. I won’t tell anyone, I swear on my everything. I didn’t mean to find it, I-”

“Save your breath. Clearly it’s a shame I ever decided to take you in in the first place.”

And then, in a millisecond, it was as if the ground had caved from beneath Bert’s feet. Suddenly he was plummeting through empty space, falling down into miles upon miles of blankness and screaming as he went, hardly able to comprehend what was happening. It felt like a dream, it didn’t seem real, and what he had expected to just be a conversation had turned into absolute terror.

The icy light of the Fault grew brighter and brighter, consuming the blackness until it was nearly choked off. Bert felt like his skin was burning with fiery cold, and it was excruciating to the point that he was clawing at it as if trying to remove the sensation from his body. He could feel time breaking down around him, could feel his very form being shredded apart, and when the light grew so blinding it crept into his hollow chest he realized what had just happened.

He had just been thrown into the Fault, and it was going to put him of existence. This was his Achilles’ heel.

He reached out desperately for something to cling onto, to catch him, even tried to make use of his magic, but none of it was any use. He realized this was it – he was done for, he was going to be wiped from the universe, and there was absolutely nothing he could do about it.

It felt as if the end had come far too soon, but Bert wondered if, maybe, this was just what fate always had laid out for him.

When his fall was suddenly broken by a great force pushing him back upwards, he assumed this was a part of the process – he was staring the void of nonexistence right in the face and now he was feeling it on his skin. But an indefinite period of time later, after what felt like several lapses of forever, he began to see colors whizzing all around him, and he realized he was no less awake now than he had been before.

It seemed that somehow, in some impossible way, something in the universe had just saved him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> {The The - Soul Mining}
> 
> Thanks for being patient with me for this one. I ended up rewriting and shifting around quite a few scenes to ensure the last few chapters (!!!) of this story are as exciting as they can be.
> 
> Also, I hope all the timeskips aren't hard to follow - I wanted to intersperse Bert's story with the main plot to keep things in motion, but we'll be back to our regularly scheduled programming soon. <3


	25. Soul Mining, pt. 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning for mentions of past child abuse (all in dialogue - there are no graphic depictions).

_“Now you’re drifting in circles / In the depths of your soul.”_

* * *

** _XX.XX.XXXX_ **

Perhaps it was foolish to have thought of a force of nature as saving grace. Because once swallowed by the yawning void of infinity, human emotions and interests and hopes and dreams ceased to matter at all, and all that was left was darkness and the unstoppable progression of time. You were nothing more than a victim of the cosmos’ inertia.

Life goes on, so they say, but therein lies the terror.

It turned out Bert had fallen into a time loop. Not the kind most people were familiar with, but a time loop, nonetheless. As the colors of the continuum had blended together into something incomprehensible and the force hurling him through spacetime had become more turbulent, aggressive and bordering on painful, Bert had begun to put the pieces together. As soon as he was slammed against the surface of some dark and unknown planet where the air was cold and hardly breathable, the awful realization had struck him.

The typical fictional depictions of time loops were actually very rare in real life. Due to the organized-unorganized nature of the continuum, reliving the same moment over and over again could only happen in a handful of increasingly unlikely scenarios. The kind Bert had fallen into, however, was quite common; they were usually found in places where spacetime was highly distorted – mostly inside black holes. So it only made sense that one would have formed along the edge of the Fault.

All they were were physical forces that would fling a person in a spiral around the continuum, forcing them into different periods and places and sometimes different realities altogether, where they’d stay for a few seconds to a few days at a time before being moved somewhere else. They were essentially the riptides of outer space. If the victim was lucky enough to find their way out of the loop, the chances that they’d end up in the same place they came from were almost nonexistent. Most never escaped anyway, either killed by the alien environments they were thrust into or inevitably ripped apart over the years by the aggression of the force.

At this point, Bert wasn’t quite too sure how long he’d been stuck. He’d landed in a variety of places – pre-eruption Pompeii, the bottom of some ocean trench impossibly deep, Neptune _during _the (evidently imminent) Neptune landing, a planet full of silicon-based lifeforms, the event horizon of a black hole, and Jupiter’s storm, to name a few, along with a whole slew of others he hadn’t been able to identify. Needless to say, he was lucky he was already dead anyway.

However, he wasn’t sure he felt so fortunate. Yes, the likelihood of this happening at all was slim, and he really shouldn’t even _exist _anymore. Some might say it was a miracle he should be grateful for. But flitting from one place to another like a ghost was an empty existence, and while Bert had seen so many incredible things, he had utterly lost himself in the process. He hardly remembered who he was or what it felt like to be home, and he missed the presence of other human beings in a way that infiltrated every part of him. He was beyond desperate to escape.

On top of that, something rattled in his chest now, something that he’d lost before, and it was as if his emotions and empathy and morality had suddenly returned to him in full – as if he was human all over again. His remorse for the things he’d done was absolutely crushing, and he often loathed himself.

Among all the incredible things he’d seen, he’d witnessed so many atrocities. He saw wars of impossible scale, and thousands of prospective futures that ended in nothing but ruin and sorrow. He saw the absolute worst the world had to offer and the irrevocable destruction of goodness, and it disgusted him. It shattered his heart like nothing else had. It filled him with rage and devastation and violent sorrow, and he could’ve cried tears of his own blood born from the intensity of everything he felt. He was disappointed in the world and disappointed in himself.

But maybe this was just what he deserved. Maybe this was his Purgatory.

And yet, surrounded by the unfeeling void, Bert still just wanted to feel that someone loved him now more than he ever had in his life. No matter if he thought he deserved it or not. It was like he couldn’t help it.

He’d exhausted himself over and over again now trying to make it out of the time loop in one piece. He spent as much time as he could desperately trying to patch together his knowledge to come up with a spell that would grant him an escape. The surface of his skin was covered with messy equations after he’d stolen an ink pen from a planet he’d visited, in hopes that writing all his hypothetical formulas down would help him find an answer. He knew he’d damaged parts of reality with his previous failed experiments, blasting the continuum with magic he’d hoped would be powerful enough to rip him away from the loop, but he couldn’t bring himself to care all that much about the state of reality anymore.

God, it could’ve been years he’d been trapped here, for all he knew.

But right now, in the present moment, there was a chance; just a _slight _chance that Bert had actually cracked the code this time. And it was scrawled in tiny symbols across his left shoulder.

He knew if this didn’t work, the sheer force of the magic he planned on using would probably end up shredding him into nonexistence just as the Fault would have done, but Bert would rather go out fighting to escape than in any other possible way. He’d been through far too much to allow himself to idly fade, he thought.

Ever since he’d come up with the equation, he had been anxiously waiting for the right time to use it. Motion sickness filled his stomach now as his body was propelled like driftwood through the choppy rapids of the cosmos; he was currently in one of the empty voids between dimensions that he used to use for time travel, and the time loop wasted no time in carrying him to his next destination. Bert knew this spell would only work while he was in the transitional space from this metaphysical realm to a physical one. That gradient was the most vulnerable part of the continuum, and he would need to tear it apart.

Now, at last, the moment had come.

Bert reached out and made an effort to steady himself. As he concentrated, he began to feel the familiar satin of spacetime between his fingers, and he clutched at it desperately, doing his best to get any sort of grip. He eventually managed to wrap his fists firmly around it, and his chest filled with a swell of hope. He was flying so fast that the fabric seared the palms of his hands with an excruciating heat he longed to pull away from, but he absolutely couldn’t. This was the first and perhaps the most important step of the spell, and it mattered now more than ever that he didn’t let go.

As Bert focused on gathering up the magic floating around him, letting it well up in his chest, the pain in his hands grew worse and worse. He gritted his teeth in protest. The loop was pulling him ever closer to his next destination and he knew that no matter what, he couldn’t let it fully claim him. He needed to be unbound by physical reality so he could rip a gap in the continuum large enough to escape through, but just physical enough that the tension of all the resulting incongruency would yank him away from the pull of the time loop.

“Fuck!” he spat out when the friction burned deep into his skin. It was inaudible seeing as he was stuck in a vacuum, but he could imagine the whizzing and the tearing so clearly it was almost as if he could actually hear it, and he was choking out cries as he forced himself to hold on, gripping as hard as he possibly could. Cold blood poured down his forearms and his throat was raw from screaming, heart pounding against his ribcage.

And then he felt it. Bert had made it to the weakest point of that transitional gradient. He had to act now.

He’d been charging the magic around him this entire time, preparing it for what he was about to do, but he still felt so fucking panicked. Bert had never, _ever_ performed this kind of spell before. In fact, it was quite possible that no one ever had at all. He didn’t know for sure what he was doing – it was all theoretical, just one massive experiment that he desperately prayed would end up working out in his favor. He _had_ to get out of here. He fucking _had _to.

As Bert felt the charge reach its peak, he supposed if he did manage to free himself, this would be the one good outcome of having been forced to compromise everything in his life for power. Power he hadn’t even really wanted in the first place.

He held on as tightly as he possibly could. The friction had burned down to the bones in his hands. And then, with all the energy he could possibly find within himself, Bert hurled his magic like a dagger against the continuum.

There was a chilling moment in which nothing happened at all, but then the force of the spell ricocheted against him as if something had exploded, and Bert realized something probably had, and he had no idea how badly he’d just damaged the portion of reality that surrounded him, and that was more than a little bit terrifying. But all of those thoughts were dispelled from his mind as he suddenly rocketed backward, catapulting across lightyears upon lightyears of spacetime.

The speed alone should’ve been enough to put him out of existence. He could feel it tearing at him on an atomic level.

But then, suddenly, it all stopped.

Bert gasped. His eyes were closed. He was standing upright, and although his surroundings were quiet, he could actually _hear _again. There was solid ground beneath his feet, and he could see gentle light filtering through the cover of his eyelids.

It all happened so fast that the only thing he could do for a moment was stand still and feel absolutely nothing. And he _reveled _in it. All the pain he’d felt just a few seconds ago was entirely gone.

Bert opened his eyes slowly, wincing when he was met with daylight. It was pale as if it was early in the morning, but it still hurt after he’d been trapped in darkness for so long.

Before Bert even had the chance to look around and take in his new surroundings, he was overcome with a wave of intense dizziness. A pounding headache suddenly reverberated through his skull and he groaned under his breath, squeezing his eyes shut, and he must have blacked out for a moment because when he opened them again, he was sitting on the opposite side of the room with his back to the wall.

In spite of this strange turn of events, Bert couldn’t find it within himself to feel particularly afraid. He realized then, in a rush, that he could no longer feel the constant pull of the time loop’s force, and he smiled to himself. Something uncontrollable and giddy rose up in his chest and if he hadn’t been so exhausted, he would have fallen into a fit of laughter.

Because holy fuck, he had _actually_ succeeded. That was…that was quite possibly the best thing that had ever happened to Bert in his entire life. He was honestly having trouble believing it, wanting to assume this was all just a dream, or he was already dead.

But then…if he wasn’t dreaming, and he wasn’t dead, where had he ended up?

Bert glanced around the room he was in with great curiosity. It was small, with one window covered with plastic blinds – turned open in order to let the light in – and an assortment of basic wooden furniture. He was surrounded by brown cardboard boxes, some open and some sealed with packing tape. The door to the room, just off to his left, was shut, and he seemed to be alone.

He spotted a mirror on the adjacent wall and hauled himself up to take a look at his appearance, mostly out of sheer curiosity. Bert was surprised when he discovered he was wearing different clothes, and his hair was much longer than it had been before, and his skin wasn’t the deathly shade of pale it used to be. The writing and the wounds were absent from his body and he didn’t look so tired or malnourished. In fact, he appeared incredibly…alive. Human.

As Bert stood there, something strange began to happen. On one hand, he knew he had never been here before in all his life, and yet some equally valid part of him suddenly knew exactly where he was and exactly what was going on. He was struck with a bout of dizziness again as he tried to navigate his thoughts and eventually managed to tap into this new and alternate set of memories that now existed inside his mind. They all came rushing to him at once as soon as he broke through to them, and it almost felt like watching his life flash before his eyes, except it wasn’t a life he had actually lived. But it _was_. He _had _lived it, just as much as he had lived his life before. But then, he swore he _hadn’t_. God, this was giving him a nasty headache all over again.

Bert still remembered everything else that had happened – his childhood and adolescence and the vampires and the time loop. This wasn’t amnesia. It was just…

His thoughts were interrupted by an insistent knock on the door that nearly made him jump out of his skin, followed by a voice that he distinctly recognized, but at the same time, didn’t recognize at all.

“Hey!” the voice said, along with another few knocks. “I’m about to drop all your shit!”

Bert knew it was Gerard. Of course he did. They were best friends.

Except they _weren’t_. He’d been assigned to organize this kid’s murder.

But that was not at all the case here, apparently. Here, Bert was a different person with a completely different story.

He didn’t say anything, he just walked over to the door and opened it, allowing Gerard to walk through carrying another box that he promptly set down in the middle of the floor.

Gerard sighed and wiped his hands on his jeans. “Thank you,” he said. “So, anyway, I was thinking we could probably-” And then he turned around to look at Bert properly. “Oh. Are you alright?”

Bert supposed it only made sense he would look scared shitless, after everything that had just happened.

He decided then that he had to be in some weird alternate timeline. He didn’t understand how that could happen without there being two different versions of him walking around at once – unless he’d somehow possessed his own body – but he was just going to have to go with it.

And besides, if he was here now, and if this new set of memories he was still struggling to get a grip on already seemed so much more pleasant than his life before, then maybe this wouldn’t be so bad. Maybe…if he could just learn to tap into this alternate version of himself completely, this could be the _real _new beginning he’d always wanted.

Bert dug into his mind and finally latched onto some substantial context as to where he was and what was going on: it was 1984, and the date was August 17th. He’d just arrived here from Goldwood – a town on the outskirts of the Forest of Souls, roughly thirty miles away – where he’d lived with his aunt and cousins since he was very young. She was currently at the store across town, buying him towels, apparently. Gerard was here helping Bert move into his dorm.

Chillingly, this was the same date Bert had been thrown into the Fault in the first place, back in his other timeline. He wondered what that was all about. But the further he sank into his new memories, the less that seemed to matter at all.

He did, however, kind of want to know where in the continuum he had ended up, exactly. He wanted to know if he was actually safe here or not. Now that Bert seemed to be settled in one place again, he was beginning to think about Thaddaeus for the first time in a while, and how fucking terrible it would be if he ever found out Bert was alive and well, and he just wanted to make sure the chances of that were slim to none.

“I’m fine,” Bert answered Gerard after a few moments of rumination. “Sorry, I just…”

Gerard’s worried expression gradually morphed into a knowing one. He knelt down and began meticulously peeling off the tape from the box he’d brought in (despite the fact that there was a box opener lying on the floor not two feet away). “Ohh. Did you see something weird?”

Bert decided to just go with it. Gerard wasn’t technically…_wrong_, or anything. He sat down beside him, and he nodded. “You could say that.”

“Yep.” Gerard opened the flaps of the box and began pulling items out, producing an old analog camera and mindlessly passing it to Bert. “There’s a lot more of that in Malimore. You’ll get used to it eventually.”

Bert stared with narrowed eyes at the camera in his hands, and then glanced up at Gerard, and then looked back down at the camera again. All of this was just _awfully _convenient, wasn’t it?

See, Bert knew pictures were more powerful than people gave them credit for. They could reveal what was invisible to the human eye, such as spirits or energies or the properties of spacetime at the location they were taken. And now that he thought about it, Bert always did have an affinity for photo magic. He could use this to try and figure out where he’d ended up.

Gerard carried on unpacking the box, oblivious. He obviously had no idea, but it was as if he’d just read Bert’s mind and decided to rest a solution to all his concerns right in his lap.

“Right,” Bert said. He set the camera off to the side and began to help Gerard with what he was doing, nearly forgetting about his old life altogether then, sinking so far and so fast into the person he was here. And he happened to already really like the person he was here. “Eventually.”

** _11.16.2003_ **

“How could they have ended up _there_?” Ray asked no one in particular what must’ve been the fifth or sixth time.

Lindsey had guided the three of them back to the edge of the Woods, trying to be as discreet as possible while still moving them along quickly. They’d made it to the tree line in relative silence and walked the rest of the approximate half-mile to Jamia’s car, quickly piling in and starting off down the dirt road leading back into town, old tires slipping over the gravel as Jamia drove inadvisably fast.

It had remained quiet until they passed Frank’s car parked a little way down the road, and somehow that had sent them all into a spiral of mildly panicked chatter. Even though Lindsey had already confirmed both Frank and Bert had been apprehended in the Woods, that physical piece of evidence was like the final nail in the coffin of impending doom. Rather than let it force them into defeated silence, however, they were now engaged in the most frantic brainstorming session ever.

“I don’t know, I don’t know…” Jamia started braking just in time to make it around a bend in the road without flipping the car or something else along those lines. “I don’t know, Lindsey doesn’t know, and we’re all fucked.”

“Absolutely not,” Lindsey insisted. “We just need to get there. That’s it.”

“Hey, we should go get the rest of our stuff first, huh?” Ray said. “It’ll take more time, but we need to be prepared if we’re actually going to find them.”

“_Yes_. It’d be great if we could decrease our chances of dying, actually,” Jamia said, and Lindsey hummed in agreement, and fortunately they were coming up on a stoplight now, which meant they had made it back to town in a short amount of time. Jamia ignored the glaringly red arrow and made a left to go to Lindsey’s house, obviously not in the mood to waste their precious time on arbitrary things such as traffic laws. It was a good thing it was too late – or early – for many other people to be out.

“I just don’t understand,” Ray started up again, mumbling to himself. “This just doesn’t…Lindsey, where did you say they are again?”

Lindsey turned around in the passenger seat and looked up at the roof as she tried to conjure an image of the location Bert had given her. “It looks sort of like a cave. There are rock walls and it’s kind of wet, musty smelling. It’s mostly dark but there’s fire or something…maybe torches? That’s all I can make out.”

Ray hummed and chewed on his thumbnail, obviously deep in thought.

Lindsey was just as confused about this situation as Ray was. All she knew was they needed to find Mikey and the others, and fast, before all hell broke loose. At least Bert had let her know that they were all physically in the same general area, which was reassuring. The only problem was that, somehow, for some goddamned reason, that general area happened to be about one hundred miles away from Malimore. And underground. And fucking infested with vampires. So, needless to say, all three of them had a ton of unanswered questions about that.

They stopped by Lindsey’s house first so they could grab what they needed from there, and then went by Ray’s, and then sped out of town again, going south. The car was loaded with all the gear they’d intended to use for their original plan, and Lindsey really, really missed having Frank and Gerard and Bert there. She wished this hadn’t all gone so terribly wrong. And now it was only getting worse, it seemed.

They stopped quickly at a gas station on the edge of town to ensure they could actually make it the whole way – that is, the entire _one hundred fucking miles_. Seriously, what the fuck?

Jamia finished filling up the car and hopped back into the driver’s seat, pausing to take a few deep breaths, staring out the rock-chipped windshield with a determined gaze. “We’re really about to do this.”

Lindsey nodded, because they were, in fact, really about to do this. “I guess so.”

They sat under the fluorescent lights for a moment, listening to the sounds of crickets outside and watching as a single car flew down the highway beside them. It felt very melancholy, but at the very least, it wasn’t at all lonely.

Jamia turned to Lindsey and looked as if she was about to say something, but apparently decided against it at the last minute, instead pressing her lips together into an attempted smile. “You ready? You have everything?”

“As I’ll ever be,” Lindsey said, and then heaved a sigh. “Shit. I hope you’re a good driver.”

Jamia raised her eyebrows. “Well.”

And then Ray decided to interrupt them with a resounding, “Holy _shitballs_. Those mother_fuckers_,” and absolutely no context whatsoever.

Lindsey slowly grinned at Jamia, who had a startled but amused expression on her face, and then turned around to look at Ray. He was holding an open notebook in his hands, staring down at one of the pages intently. “What is it?” she asked.

He looked up at her and Jamia with something like clarity in his eyes. “The clearing is a portal.”

Lindsey blinked. Out of all the possible answers, she definitely hadn’t been expecting that one.

“What?” Jamia deadpanned, and then with a bit more curiosity, “How’d you come up with that?”

“It’s these readings,” Ray said. “You know how I got really similar results from a few tests I ran that first time we went to the Woods and then during that one investigation me and Frank did? I’ve been trying to figure out why that’s the case and I think…”

“Yeah, but _how_? How can you be so sure?” Jamia asked again.

“Well,” Ray started with a sigh, “if you take the earth’s orbital speed and you divide it by-”

“Okay, never mind, I believe you!” Jamia threw her hands up, and Lindsey couldn’t help but laugh. Jamia shook her head with a smile of her own and then started the car, pulling away from the gas station and taking a left onto the highway. “The clearing is a portal. So, is that how Frank and Bert ended up so far away so fast?”

“Yeah, probably,” Ray said. “But that’s not the important part. The _important _part is now that we know this, I can use these readings to get their coordinates. Er, well, the coordinates for where the portal spits you out. But I’m assuming they’ll be somewhere close by, especially if it’s all underground.”

“Shit, really? That’d save us a lot of time.” Jamia must have been pressing the gas pedal down to the floor now. “That combined with the signal Bert sent you should help us out a lot, right Lindsey?” She waited until they were going dangerously fast, then proceeded to set the cruise control. And, well, if they died, they died.

Lindsey nodded and grabbed onto the center console, watching as the trees on either side of the road blurred around the edges a bit. “Yes, that’d be really great.”

With one hand, Ray was gripping onto the back of Lindsey’s seat for dear life, and with the other, he was scribbling furiously on a new page in his notebook. “Does either of you have a map? Or a calculator?”

“Look in my bag. Map should be in one of the side pockets, and you’re just gonna have to go digging around for the calculator,” Jamia said. “Do you think it’ll take you very long?”

Ray hummed. “Fifteen minutes tops if I can remember all the steps.”

“Dandy. I’ll try not to kill us in the meantime.”

* * *

“So, after everything was over, I ended up having to stay in Malimore a while longer,” Bert was saying, staring down at his hands in his lap. “It would’ve been more dangerous if I’d just up and left. They probably would have followed me no matter where I went.”

Frank listened intently with his brows drawn together. Gerard was sitting a few feet away, arms crossed over his chest, and appearing distracted as if he was deep in thought.

“So, the next year I transferred to a school up in Sacramento, shut down, dropped out, and everything got worse after that. I was…into some really bad shit, _god_. I could’ve very well fucked over my entire life. It’s scary to think about now.” Bert sighed and shook his head. “But I doubt either of you are in the mood for a sob story, so to keep it brief, there were a few people in my life I was really lucky to have around. They ended up dragging me kicking and screaming to get some actual help, and one day I _finally _decided I wanted to take advantage of it. I guess I had a wakeup call or two or ten.

“So, anyway, I spent a long time getting my shit together. A few years passed and I went back to school so I could learn more about all this stuff, try and find a way to stop fucking spacetime from ripping apart. I got a job in San Francisco after I graduated and everything, spent as much time as I could on my research. Then I got that call from Frank out of nowhere, and that’s when I knew something was up.” Bert took a deep breath, signaling finality, and leaned back on the palms of his hands. “And here I am now.”

Neither Frank nor Gerard said anything for a little while. The whole story was, naturally, a lot to take in.

Bert seemed to understand, though. He glanced over at Mikey in the meantime, but he didn’t place his hand back on his forehead. The latter was totally unconscious at this point, which was more than a little bit ominous.

“Wait, hold on,” Gerard sighed. He had his head between his hands, and he was shaking it slowly back and forth. “So, everything that went on before – in your old life, I mean – that doesn’t even exist anymore?”

“No,” Bert said. “Everything you remember about me is what actually happened. Technically.”

“Because you altered reality.”

“Yes.”

“You thought you were in a totally different reality for a while, but you actually just changed the one you were in before. And you didn’t figure that out till the very last minute?”

“Yeah.”

Gerard heaved another sigh – heavier this time, almost pained. And then, “I’m sorry. I just can’t help but feel kind of lied to, Bert.”

Bert froze, then shrank back and nodded solemnly. His eyes were glued to the ground.

Frank looked between the two of them, just observing. Gerard was completely tense and Bert had the guiltiest expression on his face that Frank had ever seen in his life. He could tell there was tension rising between the two of them and he wondered if Gerard was just fighting not to explode. He wouldn’t blame him, honestly.

“I mean, you were plotting my _murder_,” Gerard said. His voice was a bit more raised, a bit sharper around the edges. He was staring hard at Bert now. “Jesus Christ.”

Bert didn’t deny it. He couldn’t. He just nodded again.

“Fuck.” Gerard put his face back in his hands. “I mean, I _get _it, I guess. I don’t know. I feel like all of this is just- just a huge lie. I’ve known you since we were eight years old but in some other alteration of our lives you were plotting my _murder_?”

“I never wanted you to have to find out,” Bert muttered.

“Well, obviously. Who would want somebody else to know about that?” Gerard sighed again, flinging his hands away from his face like he was angrily brushing away tears. “Did you mean to do it?”

Bert raised his eyebrows.

“To change reality?”

“No.” Bert shook his head. “But I’m glad I did. I still don’t know how I got so lucky. I guess it was all those spells I cast, or maybe it was the big one at the end, or both. It must’ve damaged the continuum enough…I don’t know.”

Gerard paused and considered that for a moment, then said, “I get you feel guilty for it, Bert. I do believe you’ve changed now, okay? And that’s great, but holy _shit_, man. My entire life just feels made-up right now. I’m not…ugh, I’m not _saying _you should’ve told me earlier. I probably wouldn’t have even fucking believed you.” He was speaking faster now, words running together and blending into one frantic slur. “Oh my god.”

“Gerard,” Frank started, instinctually reaching out to touch the other’s shoulder in hopes of comforting him, and then scurrying back when his hand was shoved away.

“Stop,” Gerard said firmly, and he tried to get out something else, but it was pretty much entirely incoherent. He shuffled a little bit away from the other two and pressed his face between his knees again, body jerking like he was sobbing even though no audible sound was coming from him.

Frank turned to look at Bert and the latter mirrored his wide-eyed gaze. Frank really didn’t know what to say to him. Honestly, he had no idea how he felt about all of this either and his vantage point was _much_ more neutral than Gerard’s. Less involved, less personal. So he couldn’t even imagine…

There was just so much going on right now. Too fucking much.

“I know apologizing won’t change shit, but I am…more sorry than you know,” Bert said. “If there’s anything I could ever _possibly_ do to make things right, Gerard…”

Gerard didn’t react to that, but Frank didn’t think Bert had expected him to.

And then, after a long span of silence, Gerard asked, “Were you there for my family after I was gone?”

“I…yes, but I could’ve done better,” Bert answered quietly.

“What the hell does that mean? Don’t tell me you knew my parents were going to die, too.”

Bert’s eyes went wide. “No, no. I had no idea.”

“Had you already _run off _by the time that happened?” Gerard pulled his face up from his knees. It was splotchy, stained with tears.

“No.”

“So were you there for my brother?”

“Yeah, I tried my best to be.” Bert glanced briefly down at Mikey. “I still do.”

Gerard blinked once like he was trying to decide if that made things okay or not. There was obvious turmoil stirring behind his eyes and his breathing was shaky as he tried not to fall into hysterics, but his quickened breaths became louder and louder as time went on, and everything felt like it was steadily spiraling out of control.

“Y-you said you got half your soul back?” Gerard managed in a choked voice.

Bert hesitated, opening and closing his mouth a few times, before he stammered out, “Yeah, I…I don’t really know how. I’m not sure when exactly it happened. But yeah. Yes.”

“Does that mean you can feel things again? And care about other people?” Gerard asked, suddenly sounding very accusatory.

“Yes.”

“Do you care about me?”

Frank sort of felt like they were going in circles. It was like watching Gerard tumble down a spiral of his own thoughts.

“Of course I care about you,” Bert breathed. “I-” A sharp inhale. “Yes. I really do, Gerard.”

“You tried to save me? You tried to stop this from happening?”

“Yes.”

“But why didn’t you?”

“Well, I,” Bert cleared his throat. He didn’t answer for quite a long time, gaze fixed on his knotted fingers in his lap. “I got there too late. You were already…”

And then there was a long, horrid pause that seemed to stretch out forever.

“Oh,” Gerard said.

Bert went completely still and stoic, and Frank swallowed against the dryness in his throat, and then it was utterly silent until Gerard finally, properly, broke down into tears.

Frank watched in absolute terror as he realized, with the most awful feeling he’d ever experienced eating away at his guts, tearing him apart and making him bleed, that he had no idea what to do. He hated this; he felt frozen, incapacitated. He wanted Gerard to be okay. He wanted to throw up.

“Why did this have to happen to _me_?” Gerard sobbed, but his words were difficult to understand through his tears and his frantic breaths. “Why? I never asked for this. I never did anything to- God fucking _dammit_. I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry…”

He continued to apologize over and over, chanting it like it was the only thing keeping him tethered to reality, curling in on himself and twisting his hair around his fingertips.

“Gee, hey…” Frank said. His voice sounded far away to his own ears and his hands were shaking, but he slowly crawled over to Gerard and began to wind his arms around his shoulders. That was what usually helped Frank, after all, so a subconscious part of him assumed it would help Gerard too…

“No!” Gerard’s hands connected with Frank’s chest and he shoved him away the same as he had before, this time using enough force to knock the other back and stun him to a considerable degree.

Frank had never heard Gerard scream out like that at all, much less at _him_, raw and terrified, and it immediately sent intense, sickening regret coursing through him. He swallowed down the stomach acid rising up in the back of his throat. “Okay, I won’t touch you,” he managed, speaking quickly. “But I’m right here. I’m right here with you.”

And even though he _knew _it made sense for Gerard to react this way, it didn’t matter at all how much sense it made or how expected it was. It was still fucking hard. It wouldn’t _stop_ being hard.

Frank murmured occasional comforting phrases with the intent of reminding Gerard he was still there; he wasn’t going to leave him. Everything about this was absolutely fucking awful. And nothing about it was fair. And he was still utterly conflicted about how to react to this whole situation himself.

God, he just wanted to see everyone _heal_. But now the exact opposite was happening.

Gerard started coming down from the worst of it after several long, intense minutes, and Frank turned to the ghost and watched him for a moment before asking, “Do you want me to leave you alone for a little while?”

Gerard hesitated, but he eventually ended up nodding. He was still shaking all over.

Even though every single instinct was screaming at him not to, Frank moved away to give the other his space. He thought of how Thaddaeus himself had said he wasn’t doing anyone any favors by putting the four of them together, and Frank began to understand what exactly that meant.

* * *

Bert said quietly, “I wonder if he’s going to forgive me.”

Gerard had fallen asleep a little while ago, and Frank sat beside Bert now as they stared off into space, completely still. Neither of them had spoken until that moment.

Frank considered Bert’s words, turning them over in his mind. He obviously couldn’t confirm or deny anything because, well, he didn’t really know. So, he just settled on, “Do you…do you think you _should _be forgiven?”

“Well, that’s complicated. But it’s not up to me, is it? It’s not up to anyone but him. I…as hard as it is, I want him to make that decision for himself. Even if the answer is no.”

Frank nodded. Forgiveness _was_ a complicated thing. And he knew Bert was right in that this particular situation was Gerard’s to navigate, and it would probably take a lot of time.

Frank made a promise to himself then that he would be there for Gerard the entire way. He would help him through it however he needed to. And he hoped that no matter what, Bert could still move on from this part of his life once and for all. That is, if they all made it out of here alive.

Bert cleared his throat. “I’m just trying not to end up like my family,” he said. “That’s all.”

Frank knit his brow at that, but he didn’t ask, didn’t press. It was personal.

But Bert continued anyway, and Frank supposed maybe he did need to talk about it after all, get it out of his system. “Before I changed everything, they were kind of in charge of Malimore. They weren’t supposed to be, but they _were_, you know? They had so many people under their control, like pawns, and it was disgusting. They never cared about anyone but themselves. And even though it technically never happened now, it still happened to _me_. I still remember it.”

He sighed, and Frank watched him quietly, and then he continued. “I don’t think my own parents even liked me. They never hit me or anything, but they didn’t have to. Everything they did still hurt. All they could ever do was berate me for having feelings like a normal fucking person, and they isolated me, and… And then they…well, the main thing was my whole family was really power-hungry, and that manifested in some not so nice ways. They were really big into human experimentation – that’s the whole reason we all became blood witches. But…they made me watch a lot of that shit. They forced me to participate, they threatened me into it over and over again, and I hated it. I never wanted to be a part of it. I mean, I was just a little kid when all that started, and…I still have nightmares about it, and I still think about the things I saw, and I don’t think I’ll ever forgive them for that. It just…Frank, they made me _hurt _innocent people, they tried to make me think that was okay. And how was I _any_ better? That’s the worst fucking part. For years, how was I any different from them?”

Frank was speechless. He had no idea what to say to any of that, and he knew he was in way over his head with this. He wasn’t a therapist, hadn’t had any personal experiences even close to what Bert was describing. He was afraid of responding in the wrong way, and he wished he knew all the right words.

“And I mean, none of that excuses what _I_ did, I know. I did have a choice. I should have-”

“Bert,” Frank said. “It’s okay if you just need to talk about it.” And he realized Bert definitely should, once all of this was over, with someone who was better equipped to help him. Frank wondered if he had ever shared any of that with another person before this present moment. But for now, even if Frank couldn’t give a life-changing response or anything like that, he was willing to listen. “I don’t know what to say, honestly, so I won’t pretend I do. But I’m…shit, I’m so sorry that happened. No, it doesn’t excuse anything, but still – it’s disgusting what they did to you. No child in the world deserves that.”

Bert paused, like he was considering that, and then said, “I guess I just want to change things. That’s the whole point of this – I mean, helping you, and trying to stop Thaddaeus. And I thought I was changing things before, when…you know. But that had all been for me, and for my anger. It was selfish. All of it was so selfish.”

It was truly awful, how destructive selfishness could sometimes just breed more. And though Bert was far from perfect, he was clearly trying to break the cycle now after the journey he’d been through. Not for the sake of erasing his past or pardoning himself, but truly for the sake of making things better, for making _himself _better.

“Maybe you can’t change the world,” Frank said. “But you can change yourself. And that counts just as much.”

It was all quiet after that. Bert stared into space, and chose not to say anything else.

* * *

Frank was in a strange state between sleep and wakefulness when he felt a cold hand nudging his shoulder timidly. The surge of emotional warmth that immediately flooded through him made him sigh, lean further into the touch that he would recognize now no matter what. Gerard’s palm pressed against his skin then and he gave Frank’s upper arm a squeeze, coaxing him fully awake.

Frank rolled over onto his back and propped himself up on his forearms, attempting to shake off his grogginess. Gerard sat right beside him, and Frank acknowledged him with a small smile. He’d really missed him. “Hi.”

“Hi.” Gerard rubbed the back of his neck and let his eyes drift about for a moment before settling back on Frank’s. “Um. I wanted to tell you I’m really sorry. For yelling at you and everything. I know you were just trying to help.”

“Oh.” Frank’s eyes widened and he shook his head. “Oh, god, you don’t have to apologize for that. I should’ve given you your space.”

Gerard looked like he wanted to say something else, but he refrained.

“It’s fine. You’re okay. There’s a lot going on.” Frank sat up the rest of the way and caught Gerard’s gaze with his own. “I’ve been there before. I understand.” And he really meant that. As startling as it had been, he knew not to take it personally.

At that, Gerard sighed in what seemed like relief. “Okay.”

Frank reached out to tilt the other’s chin up just a bit, running his thumb along the ridge of his jaw, gaze softening. “Hey. I love you. I’m here for you.”

Gerard smiled a bit. “I love you too.”

They just sat there like that for a few moments, knees pressed together. Frank’s hand had fallen back into his lap and both of Gerard’s came up to cup Frank’s face, and a few seconds later they were connected in a kiss.

It didn’t last very long, but that was okay. When they pulled away from one another, Gerard continued to hold Frank’s face in his hands and stared at him like he was the only person in the world. Frank pressed their foreheads together and told himself not to cry.

Frank fell asleep with Gerard’s chest pressed against his back. He could feel the steady rhythm of the latter’s breaths. Gerard had both his arms circled around Frank and held him tightly, and Frank dreamed they were both lying in his bed, safe from harm, looking forward to waking up together the next morning. They would trade sleepy kisses in the gentle light of the rising sun, and they would twine their fingers as they sat on the porch under the blushing sky, and everything would be okay.

But this was not that dream.

* * *

Eventually the darkened forest backroad Jamia had turned down ran out, and the three of them sat there with the car idling for a few moments. The headlights were off, but everyone was under a night-vision spell, and the forest around them was foreboding even still. Ray had figured out their destination’s coordinates about half an hour ago and Lindsey supposed they’d have to go the rest of the way on foot, which, all things considered, would probably be much safer anyway.

Jamia turned off the car and pulled the keys from the ignition. It was now very, very quiet. “Well.”

Lindsey thought to herself, _It was nice getting to know you two, _but didn’t say that aloud for obvious reasons.

“We just need to go south for about three miles,” Ray said. “What’s the plan when we get there?”

“The main thing we need to do is find Mikey and keep him safe,” Lindsey answered. “Bert said once we do that, we should try to find him and Frank and wake both of them up.”

“Ah, I’m not sure we’ll be able to make it _to _them,” Ray said. “If they’re underground, and if there are a bunch of vampires down there…”

“We could wake them up from a distance if we can find their energies,” Jamia said. “Actually, maybe we should focus on that first. We might not be able to get to Mikey, but maybe Frank or Bert could.”

“That’s a good idea,” Lindsey said. “We’ll just have to improvise, I suppose.”

“I’m still the lookout?” Ray asked.

“Still the lookout,” she said, and then sighed. “Well, let me just say before we go, it’s been an honor working with all of you.”

“Really, we should all be a team from now on,” Jamia said. “You know, if we make it out of here. I’m pretty sure if we can save the world together, we can do just about anything.”

Lindsey decided she would really love that – working together to help as many people as they could. But they weren’t there just yet.

“Let’s go do the saving, then,” Ray said.

They all got out of the car and gathered up the items they knew they’d need. Just before they trekked off into the forest, they all regarded one another with solemn smiles.

Lindsey nodded, and then they were off, and the future of humanity laid heavy across their shoulders.


	26. Under the Graveyard

_“Under the graveyard / We’re all rotting bones.”_

* * *

** _11.16.2003_ ** ** **

The red rock walls of the cavern almost had a glow of their own in the warmth of the firelight, broken by long shadows almost as horrid as the creatures that cast them.

Vampires in their truest form were not a pleasing thing to see. Some twisted around in all the wrong ways, some hacked up the insects that had taken up residence in their decaying bodies. Some discarded their robes to reveal the sickly-white skin underneath, skin that was beginning to fall away from their bodies to expose their bones and rotting organs. Their spines often snapped due to the unnatural ways in which they writhed – mostly for the purposes of alleviating the excess energy built up inside them from the souls they’d consumed, and it would come pouring out of their eyes like rivulets of golden blood. But the magic coursing through them, rendering them undead, kept them animated. It didn’t matter how many bones were broken.

Almost all of Thaddaeus’s bones were broken. His uncovered body was vomit-inducing. He always kept himself hidden away, even surrounded by his own kind.

He looked out at the lot of them assembled in the cavern before him, glowing in the light of orange torches and fire suspended in the air. They tangled together, whispered in ancient tongues. Anyone else would surely look at them and see a colony of insects – mindless, restless, stripped of humanity.

But when Thaddaeus looked at them, he only saw his creations, and they were perfect. They would rightfully live forever. He would strangle the disease that was the human race just as he’d strangled his own humanity.

Directly behind him was a rift in the cavern floor filled with blue light. It was a conduit of sorts for the Fault’s energy, as coming in direct contact with it in the physical world would be nothing short of catastrophic. This way there was a barrier, so long as you didn’t fall in.

And in front of him, at the center of the room, was Gerard’s dear brother, sprawled out across the uneven floor and covered with smears of blood. He did look quite ghastly, really. They’d already begun to prepare him. The ritual to take the final soul was very complicated, but they would manage just fine. By now, they were nearly ready to move on to the final stage.

Two vampires walked side by side into the cavern, each holding a torch and wearing blank expressions. They whispered incantations that floated around the enclosed space like a fevered breeze.

Thaddaeus waited until they fell hush, and then asked them, “Is it almost time?”

They opened their eyes, shining yellow in the dim, and nodded solemnly.

Thaddaeus smiled. The anticipation he felt then was the closest to human he would ever be again.

* * *

Frank wasn’t sure how long he had spent with all his limbs tangled with Gerard’s like they were desperately trying to cling to whatever they had left, but he supposed it technically could have been forever.

They didn’t speak. They didn’t need to. Gerard’s hand running back and forth across Frank’s forearm, and his breath ruffling his hair, and the feel of being held by him – in more ways than one – was enough.

Frank held on just as tightly. He let himself doze off several times, not wanting to think about anything at all. But in his waking moments, he found his mind wandering to the future they could’ve had. It was sort of just a haze, but there were bits and pieces he held on to. They were snapshots of a quiet life, like a golden supercut, and maybe Frank did just want a quiet life. Maybe he just wanted Gerard to wake up next to every morning.

But all of it ached because Frank knew it wasn’t real. And deep down, he knew it probably wasn’t ever going to happen.

He thought of other things as well. He thought of the life he could’ve had with his friends. He went back to Ray the most, and to their business, but mostly just Ray in general because Frank swore he was the best friend he ever could’ve asked for. He thought about his family, who he really should’ve done a better job keeping up with even if work kept him busy, and he felt terribly guilty for it. He regretted it with his whole heart, shed tears as he thought of them all. It’d been a little while since he’d seen his grandparents and he really fucking missed them now, wished more than ever that he’d at least called them before he ended up here. But he hadn’t.

Frank thought about what _he _could’ve become. He thought about his future self that he would never have the chance to meet. His thoughts had gradually shifted from “probably never” to “absolutely never,” he realized, and he wasn’t sure if that scared him or somehow made him feel more secure.

Seconds, minutes, hours, days, weeks, months, years, forever, forever, forever, forever in the dark.

But Gerard was there. He never left. And _god_, Frank just…he loved him. He wrapped his arms tighter around the other’s middle, pressed his face more firmly against his neck. It felt like the first time he’d moved since…

There was a tired groaning sound that startled Frank into fully sitting up, and Gerard followed suit, and they both blinked at one another like they’d both just been awoken from a long, long dream.

Then Gerard whispered, “Mikey.”

Frank turned to where Mikey was stirring and mumbling something incoherent. Bert was propped up on his elbows a few feet away from him, blinking slowly as if he’d been asleep as well.

Gerard crawled forward. It was only a few feet, which was strange because Frank could’ve sworn there were miles separating the two of them from anything else alive. But Gerard made it over to his brother in a matter of seconds, and Frank was just left sitting there, watching.

“Mikey?” Gerard placed both his hands on the other’s arm and began shaking him gently. “Mikes?”

Frank moved over to them. As he did, he felt like he was coming up from some sort of fog. How long _had _it been? Fuck, he really had no idea. It was…how had Gerard gone on this way for years and years? Outside the reach of one of the most fundamental aspects of human existence? Jesus. Saying it was not fun was putting it lightly.

“_Mikey_. Please wake up. I need you to wake up.” Gerard sounded so tired, and his eyes were even more sunken in than normal. Frank could feel an echo of his heartache in his own chest.

Mikey made another noise and rolled over onto his back, and Gerard raised his eyebrows in a hopeful expression.

“What’s wrong with him?” Frank asked no one in particular. Gerard looked up at him and mouthed back, _I don’t know._

Bert rubbed his eyes and seemed to snap out of his exhaustion all at once, moving to kneel at Mikey’s side and glancing up at Gerard across from him. He placed both his hands on Mikey’s face, closed his eyes in concentration, asked Mikey if he could hear him, patted his cheek in an effort to wake him up… Gerard leaned apprehensively over Mikey’s now-still body, staring down at his lidded eyes.

“What’s going on?” Gerard asked Bert. “Is he okay?”

Bert shook his head and Frank could guess by the look on his face that he had no clue what was actually happening. “I think…”

“What? You think what?”

Bert swallowed, his eyes darting everywhere. “I don’t know.”

Frank slowly moved over to Gerard’s side and looked down at Mikey. Now that he was closer, he could see the beads of sweat spread all across Mikey’s skin and the unnatural gray color just below the surface. After a few seconds of total silence, his eyes fluttered open, and Frank could feel an echo of Gerard’s heart leaping in his chest.

Mikey’s eyes were foggy and dazed and he blinked at nothing for quite a long while. The other three waited with bated breath for something, _anything _to happen, for Mikey to show any sign he was aware of what was going on around him. Gerard grabbed Frank’s hand and squeezed it tightly and placed his other hand gently on Mikey’s shoulder.

“Hey. Can you hear us?” Gerard asked in a quiet voice.

A long, tense silence followed in which Gerard’s grip on Frank’s hand became painfully snug. Bert was breathing too deep like he was trying to hold himself together.

Mikey coughed once, his eyes suddenly going wide, and Frank could see them going bloodshot as it happened, all the veins darkening like spreading tendrils.

Then he began to convulse and descended into a coughing fit, just about hacking up his lungs. His whole body moved with the force of it and eventually, he was sitting fully upright, hunched over, and his coughs were deep and wet and painful. Blood flew from his mouth and spattered across his sweatpants and Gerard made a distressed noise, reached out to wrap his arms around him.

“_Jesus Christ_,” Bert hissed. “Okay, okay, it’ll be okay. It will. I need to talk to Lindsey again. You watch him.”

Frank nodded and watched as Bert shuffled backward and closed his eyes in concentration, and then he focused back on Mikey.

Frank placed his hand on Gerard’s back and rubbed up and down between his shoulder blades in an effort to keep him calm. There were bullets of sweat running down Mikey’s face and a deathly pallor that had overtaken his complexion, blood smeared across his lips, but at least he didn’t seem to be coughing up any more of it now. Frank didn’t even want to think about how or why Mikey’s lungs had – evidently – been damaged or what that could be a precursor to…

And then, with a wave of confusion, he noticed shimmery, golden beads at the inner corners of Mikey’s eyes. They were made of some viscous substance that was beginning to slowly roll down the sides of his nose, leaving pigmented trails in their wake. Frank knit his brow, but when he was hit with a wave of familiar, sickening sweetness, he was able to make a guess.

What that Mikey’s _soul_? Was it coming from his eyes? Did that mean the vampires were already in the process of taking it from him?

The thought of that had Frank gagging and swallowing down the fear-born bile that rose up in his throat. He watched as Mikey’s coughing fit slowly came to an end and he went limp against Gerard, just as still now as he was before. His head hung down low, chin against his chest.

Gerard said quietly, “Mikey?”

And then from Mikey’s parted lips came a stream of that same golden fluid, dripping stickily down into his lap, and now he was making this low, unnatural groaning noise that droned on and on and on. The scent and the sight and the sound and the connotations of it were all too much, and Frank barely managed to turn and crawl about a foot away before he was heaving up foul stomach acid.

“What the fuck,” he heard Gerard state, and his shaking voice sounded muffled through the high ringing in Frank’s ears. “What the fuck.”

His vision blurred for a moment. His hands looked all pale and fuzzy, shaking in front of his face, and Frank felt like he was watching everything happen on a screen. Absently, he wiped his mouth with the back of his hand and scrunched his face up against the sour bitterness on the back of his tongue. He felt himself laughing under his breath, but he wasn’t sure why. It was almost like…a desperate reach for any control possible.

When he turned back around, Gerard was clutching Mikey tight as the latter shook, still producing more of that golden substance. It frothed at the corners of his mouth now, and Frank could even see it coming from his pores, shining on the surface of his skin.

Bert was still in his head, eyes closed. He mumbled under his breath every now and then. Frank wondered if he’d found Lindsey yet.

“Frank,” Gerard croaked. “I…”

Frank felt very weird and very out of it, but the tone of Gerard’s voice prompted him to move, so he did. He slid forward until he was right next to the ghost, watching as he blinked back at him tiredly. Moisture filled Gerard’s eyes and he sighed.

“I just need you,” he said.

Frank’s chest throbbed. He moved closer and wrapped one arm across Gerard’s shoulders, thumb running back and forth over his arm. “Okay. I’m right here.”

* * *

The walk through the trees wasn’t actually that far – a couple of miles at most. Before long, Lindsey reached the other side of the thin band of forest with Ray beside her and Jamia right behind them, and just a few feet ahead the ground dropped off into a valley filled with dense, wilted shrubbery.

Lindsey’s heart sank just a bit.

She walked right up to the edge and peered over it. The slope was probably _just_ too steep to get down without falling and breaking an ankle, and she huffed in frustration. They needed to keep going, and fast.

“Well,” Ray said flatly. “This may be a bit of a problem.”

“You think?” Jamia peeked over the edge of the slope and examined the way down with narrowed eyes. Fortunately, they had their night vision charms and the full moon, which was bright enough that it illuminated the landscape quite well anyway, or else they wouldn’t be able to see a thing. They were in the middle of fucking nowhere. “Do you know how far we’re supposed to keep going?”

“Not too far, I don’t think.” Ray squinted down at an instrument he was holding. “Actually… We might already be here,” His voice was lower now, and he looked to Lindsey as if for confirmation.

Lindsey did note that the energy here felt bizarre. Actually, it was almost as if there was_ no_ energy. It all felt strangely muted like the air was just filled with static, and the chill of the night somehow felt less cold than it did before, and it was almost as if every sound around them was muffled. She closed her eyes and tried to listen, and the silence she was met with was unnatural, unnerving. Whatever it was, there was no way it could just occur on its own. She opened her eyes and looked back at Ray. “I think you may be right.”

Ray glanced down at his readings again. “I only say that because there’s something funky going on and that always seems to be a good indicator the vampires are fucking around. You know, from experience.”

“Yes, exactly,” Lindsey said. “It’s as if they’re trying to cover something up.”

“These are really similar to the readings we got at Laura’s house, actually,” Ray said. “We told you about her case, right? With the blue light?”

Lindsey nodded. She hadn’t been to that client’s house herself, but she remembered Jamia describing the energy there as weirdly subdued, just like it was here. If that case had had something to do with the Fault, it would only make sense that this would as well.

“Guys,” Jamia called. She had walked several feet away and was staring over the edge of the slope again, pointing at something. “You said they’re supposed to be underground, right?”

Lindsey went to stand beside her and followed the direction she was pointing. It took her a little while to spot it, but once she did, she couldn’t possibly miss it: there was an opening in the side of the hill. It wasn’t gaping or horribly obvious, but it was definitely large enough for at least two grown people to crawl through shoulder to shoulder.

Lindsey looked at Jamia, who looked right back, and they both communicated what they were thinking without actually exchanging any words. Beside them, Ray let out a heavy sigh.

“I guess this _is _it, then,” he said.

“God. I hope we don’t have to go in there. Looks like a gateway to hell.” Jamia shuddered. “If it leads underneath this hill, and if Frank and Bert are in there, then they must be somewhere right below us, right?”

“You would think so…” Lindsey murmured.

They backtracked into the trees, searching for any indication of human energies in the air. However, it was difficult to pick out _anything _with how goddamn muffled it all was, which was definitely the point, and Lindsey had to commend the vampires for their cleverness if they were behind it. Eventually, she began to break through and pick up on the barest traces of things, but all of it was startlingly cold and unfamiliar, and after probably half an hour of the three of them searching the area, she was beginning to feel frantic.

“_Anything_?” she asked the other two once they all met up by the slope again, but the answer was no from both of them. “Maybe we should try going down into the valley.”

Lindsey seriously doubted any of them actually wanted to do that. She was worried about vampires hiding in the shrubbery, worried about her skin being torn to shreds, but they had to do what they had to do…

Then, suddenly, something potent hit her right between the eyes like a glaring beacon. She held up a hand, signaling for the other two to pause, and she concentrated on grasping on to the energy.

“I’m going to go sit down. I just picked up on something,” she announced. “I think Bert might be trying to find me again.”

Jamia and Ray both kept watch as Lindsey slipped into her mind, her back against a tree and her legs crossed in front of her. She focused hard with tightly shut eyes, pinpointed the energy until she could feel its very essence. As she reached out for it with metaphysical hands, it wrapped around her and drew ever closer, and eventually she broke through to a warm, dark place where she couldn’t actually see Bert, but she could _feel _him, and she could hear his voice bouncing around inside her head.

They didn’t exchange actual words; this wasn’t telepathy. Rather, it was a language of its own. It was the same kind of emotional communication that Lindsey had used with Gerard, and that she used with all the other spirits she spoke to.

She could feel Bert’s fear pressing hard against her chest, and they spoke-didn’t-speak about Mikey and what had happened, the coughing fit and the blood and the golden tears, and Bert shared his concerns and his suspicions about the ritual the vampires were probably attempting.

In the end, the conclusion they came to was that Mikey was about to be killed. Bert didn’t know exactly how much time they had left and neither did Lindsey, but it was _going _to happen, and it was going to be soon. That was a fact.

Lindsey returned to the physical realm as quickly as she could and relayed all the information she’d just been given to Ray and Jamia, who both looked a bit ill once she’d finished, understandably so. If they were blocked from picking out their friends’ energies remotely and the vampires were planning on taking Mikey’s soul soon, then…the plan to wake Bert and Frank up without actually going and finding them clearly wasn’t going to work.

After some hurried discussion, Ray said what they were all thinking: “At least one of us needs to go into that cave.”

A fearful hush fell.

Lindsey said, “I’ll do it.”

Jamia’s eyes went wide right away. “By yourself?”

“Yes. If I went, I’d probably have the best chances of finding one of them. I could wake them up and then we could go find Mikey, and…” Lindsey paused and bit down on her lip. “Well. After that, I don’t know.”

“You could _die_,” Jamia said firmly, which clearly translated to _you will most definitely die_.

“Yes, but…” _It’s me or the rest of the world_, Lindsey thought to herself, and even that outcome felt like a best-case scenario because she could very well just die for nothing. The whole world could still go up in smoke despite her best efforts. “I could also end up finding them, and me going down there could serve as a distraction to the vampires. It’d buy you guys more time.”

“But there’s not much we can even do unless we go with you,” Jamia said, brows drawn together.

Lindsey considered that for a moment, trying to think of a way to make it _not_ true. Because as of right now, Jamia was right, and Lindsey didn’t want to put her nor Ray in more danger by having them all go.

“No,” Ray cut in with a note of finality. “You’re not going by yourself, Lindsey. We have to stick together if we want this to work.”

They talked it over for a few more minutes, and they finally decided that Ray was right. It wasn’t ideal, but it was the best they could do without being able to wake Frank or Bert from the outside.

They decided to leave the bulk of their items behind to aid them in their stealth. Ray divvied out silver daggers, explained, “It won’t kill them, but it’ll hurt like a motherfucker,” and Jamia found a pen in her bag to draw various symbols on their skin for protection, and Lindsey refreshed their concealment spells to ensure the magic wouldn’t fade when they needed it most. They took a few magical items with them, small enough to store in their pockets. The preparation felt incredibly rushed by the time it was done, but it was going to have to work.

They found a part of the slope that wasn’t so steep and trekked downwards, slowly and carefully making their way to the mouth of the cave, and fortunately no one broke anything or slipped on any loose rocks or fell down into the thorny-looking shrubbery.

Lindsey went through first, then Jamia, then Ray, and they all crawled through the _incredibly _claustrophobic tunnel that followed right after and seemed to go on forever and ever. Finally, though, it opened up into a walkway large enough to stand up straight and stretch your arms out to the side without touching the rock walls.

They walked single file. The already-dim light of the moon faded to nothing around them, and all that was left was the creepy red of their artificial night vision. Lindsey wrapped her hand around the hilt of her dagger, and into the dark they went.

* * *

Mikey hadn’t moved even a centimeter since his soul-coughing fit, and Frank wasn’t sure whether that made him feel better or worse.

“They’re on their way,” Bert had told him. “They’re going to wake us up.”

Frank was rather nervous about that. He _had _to wake up, he _wanted _to wake up, but he had no clue what kind of state he would wake up in, or where he would be. Bert had told him they weren’t in the Woods anymore, but neither of them knew where exactly this new place was, and what if the vampires were, like…doing weird magic on him or some shit? Frank didn’t want that.

In the meantime, Gerard sat beside Mikey and watched him like a hawk, and Bert drummed his fingers against his knees. Unsurprisingly, none of them spoke.

And when Frank started to hear faint, voice-like noises echoing in the distance, he thought it was just his brain growing bored and working to fill the silence, playing mean tricks on him. He looked around curiously but couldn’t see anything in the dark, and no one else seemed to have noticed whatever it was he was hearing. The longer Frank concentrated on it, the more it sounded like…singing? Or chanting? Nothing pleasant. It was really, really creepy, but faint enough that Frank could pass it off as being a product of his imagination.

That is, until it became noticeably louder, and his vision started to fade to black, and he blinked quickly before he realized it actually wasn’t going to stop.

“Gerard?” Frank called out. He reached out for the ghost’s arm and wrapped his own around it. “I don’t know what’s happening.”

“What?” Gerard turned to him and placed a hand on his cheek. Frank blinked up at him, disoriented. “What do you mean?”

“Wait a minute, are you waking up?” Bert asked, sounding more hopeful than he did concerned.

“I don’t know.” Frank’s vision was becoming hazier and Gerard’s face was quickly fading in front of his eyes. “I feel like I’m passing out. Really slowly.”

“Lindsey’s probably found you,” Bert said. “Don’t worry, just hold on. You should be okay. Try not to…”

But Bert’s voice faded out before he could finish his sentence, and Frank’s eyes were fixed on Gerard’s. He tried to push closer, but he felt like he was falling back into an endless abyss, and when he called Gerard’s name the sound was lost to his own ears. Frank was just barely able to read Gerard’s lips as he said, _I’ll find you_.

And then, there was nothing.

Frank noticed then that the creepy singing-chanting-whatever-the-fuck was gone. Everything was gone. He just floated. He could _tell _he didn’t have a body, and it was weird and indescribable and horrible.

Frank wondered if his body was already dead and if he was a ghost now too. For now, he was nothing but a consciousness lost in the void, unable to see or hear or touch or do anything that a human body could. He knew he was afraid, but there were no physical symptoms to accompany it; there weren’t any _emotions_ to accompany it either, strange and mind-bending as that was. Frank’s fear had been reduced to an abstract concept and he was so, so lost, felt like he was drifting alone forever until he felt something pulling him down, like weights tied to metaphorical ankles, and suddenly he was rushing very fast through space. Not falling – just rushing.

He felt like he hit the ground, except he hadn’t; he was hanging in midair. His back – oh, good, he had a back now – arched painfully with a dramatic muscle spasm and suddenly Frank was sucking air into his lungs like he’d just nearly been drowned. His body was twitching uncontrollably, and- oh, fuck, it _hurt_. He hurt all over with the wounds he’d acquired in the physical world.

It didn’t help at all that all his blood had rushed to his head, the pressure throbbing deep in his skull. Frank realized he was hanging upside down, suspended by his calves and ankles, and his arms were bound tightly to his sides. There was rope all over him, he noticed, like a cocoon, and he wheezed in panic as he tried to move and realized he definitely couldn’t. Cloth was shoved inside his mouth, pressing his tongue back into his throat to the point that he was about to swallow it or gag or something. He needed to move, he had to, oh god…he had to get out, he couldn’t be stuck here, he writhed-

Someone was shouting, but Frank’s blood was rushing too loud in his ears for him to understand what they were saying. Suddenly there were hands on his shoulders, and then arms wrapping around his chest, and then he was falling, and he was terrified his neck was going to be broken until whoever was holding him managed to catch him with a jolt. Something soft and warm billowed up under his feet – magic, unmistakably. Frank thought of how Thaddaeus had caught him using magic when he’d fallen in the Woods and he felt a plummet of dread when he realized it was likely just the vampires who had awoken him.

There was some moving around, and then after what felt like forever, Frank’s body came to rest on top of a hard and uneven surface. There weren’t any arms around him anymore. Some of the ropes around his torso had been removed and he could feel the blood rushing back to his arms now, and he didn’t open his eyes for fear of what he might see, but then there was a familiar voice that he swore was far, _far _too good to be true.

“Frankie?” said Ray.

It was like in the fucking movies when all the rainclouds would open up to make way for beams of sunlight. Frank’s eyes _did_ open then, because holy _fuck_, he had missed Ray Toro with his whole heart and then some. He spotted him hovering over him and before Frank could even take the time to comprehend the rest of his surroundings, he launched himself up and threw his arms around Ray’s neck.

“Oh shit,” Frank groaned when a fresh wave of pain rained down on him like hot coals, but he held on anyway. Half his body was still painfully numb and whoever had been cutting the ropes moved back with a yelp. Frank would’ve apologized if he wasn’t distracted by his own discomfort. His side hurt the worst, and he remembered then that his ribs were probably broken. Joy.

“Take it easy,” Ray said, but he sounded so relieved. “You look like you’ve been to hell and back, dude.”

Frank shrugged one shoulder. “Well.”

He turned his head to the side and spotted Jamia, who moved forward cautiously and began slicing through some more of the ropes on his body using a mean-looking dagger that glinted in the dim light and had a curved silver blade. “I am seriously _so _fucking glad you’re alive,” she said.

“I’m so fucking glad _you’re _alive,” Frank replied. His voice was rough. “I’ve never been happier to see anyone in my life.”

Ray ran his palm in circles along Frank’s back. It was soothing. “Lindsey’s around here somewhere. She’s trying to figure out where we need to go next.”

It was then that Frank actually started paying attention to where he was. It was dark, but Ray and Jamia’s faces were lit up with a dancing orange glow – surely firelight. He realized then that he was underground, in some sort of dark tunnel, and he could see the layers of dirt and rock all around him. He swallowed nervously, already beginning to feel far too confined.

He eventually spotted the sconces that held a few torches on the walls. The line of them continued down the tunnel and then disappeared around a bend.

“Where are we?” Frank asked.

Ray answered, “Well, how much has Bert already explained to you about the clearing?”

“Oh. Um, he told me it’s a portal.”

“Okay, cool. This is roughly where it leads.” Ray’s eyes flitted around nervously. “We actually haven’t seen any vampires yet. Not sure if that makes me feel better or worse.”

“Well,” Jamia said. “we wouldn’t have been able to get Frank down otherwise.”

“That’s true.”

Then her dagger snapped through the last rope.

Frank shook out his limbs and stretched gratefully, still feeling sore and numb and hurt afterwards but not as bad as before. Jamia must have been using healing magic on him as well.

Lindsey came from around the bend in the tunnel a few seconds later and announced she didn’t know where Bert was, but they still needed to keep moving forward.

“Oh, Frank!” she said when she noticed he was awake. She rushed over to him and knelt at his side, checking him over with critical eyes. “Are you alright? You don’t _look _alright…”

“I think I’ll be okay,” Frank said, offering her a weak smile. He twisted out of Ray’s arms so he could stretch out again, scrunching up his nose when something low in his back clicked painfully.

“We don’t have a lot of time to talk, unfortunately,” Lindsey said. “I’m really worried about Mikey…I think the ritual they’re performing on him will take a little longer than the others, since it’s intended to actually split the Fault. But I’m afraid they’re getting close, so we need to find him quickly.” Lindsey paused and looked at Frank sympathetically. “But if you need a bit more time…”

“No.” Frank planted his feet against the ground and winced. He felt like his kneecaps were screaming in protest. “Ray, can you help me up?”

“Yeah.” Ray tucked his arms securely underneath Frank’s and braced his hands against his back, and together they rose to their feet, Frank gritting his teeth in pain all the way.

“Fuck.” He felt lightheaded as soon as he was fully upright and supporting his own weight, and lights danced in front of his eyes. Frank pressed his hand to his forehead and Ray continued to support him in case he lost his balance. In the meantime, Lindsey said she was going to cast a selection of spells on him to ensure he would be safe, that his presence wouldn’t be too obvious, and Frank just nodded and tried not to throw up.

After a few moments, the spinning in his head was gone. His entire body was begging him for mercy, his at least one broken rib flaring up every time he took in a breath, but he squared his jaw and ignored it, and began walking down the echoey tunnel.

“You good? You can walk okay?” Jamia asked.

“Mhm.” Frank winced when a muscle in his hip seized up for a moment. “I’ll be fine.”

Jamia glanced over at him skeptically but said nothing else.

Once they rounded the bend, the tunnel opened up a bit more. The magic blanketed over them silenced their footsteps so that it was eerily quiet, and dark shadows were looming all around them. Frank didn’t like how exposed he felt; there was nowhere to hide if danger came.

He couldn’t help but find the silence suspicious. He didn’t like there wasn’t even a _sign _of the vampires’ presence, save for maybe the lit torches. Frank hoped they hadn’t actually taken Mikey somewhere else entirely and left him and Bert behind as a red herring. The thought alone made him lightheaded with fear; there was no way they’d be able to get to him in time if that was the case. But Frank kept his thoughts to himself, not wanting to worry everyone else.

His mind eventually wandered back to Bert and Gerard. He wondered if they were still stuck in the void, if Frank’s absence there had been noticed by the vampires yet, if they were being punished for it… God, all the thoughts flying through his head were exceedingly terrible.

The walk was uneventful for a long time. Nothing dramatic happened, like the tunnel splitting into two paths or a hoard of vampires rushing at them from behind, trapping them in the cave. This was _too _easy, surely.

Just as Frank was beginning to think that maybe, _maybe_, something was finally genuinely working out in their favor, Ray, who was leading the group, frantically signaled for everyone to hunker down.

They all gathered under a bit of an overhang, where the shadows paired with Lindsey and Jamia’s magic would hopefully conceal them. There weren’t any other, safer places to hide, which was nothing short of terrifying. Frank had no idea what Ray had seen, what was coming.

That is, until he heard it: hissing, shuffling sounds that were almost rhythmic, but not quite. Almost like a heartbeat, or a kick drum behind a song. From around another corner came at least twenty vampires, all traveling in a strange, conjoined group with tangled limbs, and they were naked. Their bodies were beyond grotesque, and quite honestly, it was enough to make Frank sick to his stomach. He remembered then that they were technically animated corpses, which made more sense now than ever as he took in the half-decayed state of their bodies and wondered how they weren’t in total agony all the time.

He wasn’t breathing, wouldn’t even let himself _think_ as the group passed them by. Frank’s eyes were locked onto the vampires’ feet, the skin there blackening and beginning to swell, and he was eternally grateful for Lindsey and Jamia taking the time to cover him with protective magic. Surely, if he didn’t have it, the sound of his heart beating out of his chest would give him away on its own.

The vampires made their way past as if no one else was there at all. There would’ve been a collective sigh of relief if it wouldn’t have been too loud, and if it wasn’t cut short by the realization that this was confirmation the vampires were here. They would need to be extremely careful from here on out.

The group stayed still until the sounds of hissing and shuffling faded away, and Lindsey was the first to slowly, carefully, creep out from the shadows that had just saved their lives. She looked back and forth, waited for a moment, and then signaled for the other three to follow after her. They were all cautious as they stepped out into the light, treading lightly over the ground beneath their feet and taking shallow, quiet breaths. Frank’s heart was still racing, and adrenaline was still thrumming just beneath his skin, but he was determined to press forward.

Lindsey raised her eyebrows, and Frank nodded, and then the four of them set off.

They made it about ten paces.

Ray tripped over an uneven section of ground and went tumbling down, landing hard on his hands and knees.

Everyone froze.

It was quiet for a little while. Long enough that Frank almost thought they were in the clear, that the magic was stronger than he’d thought, but then a particularly sharp, loud hiss came echoing down the tunnel, and Lindsey’s face went deathly pale.

_Run_, she mouthed. Ray pushed himself up off the ground and they all took off sprinting.

Every step felt like pins and needles driving themselves into Frank’s feet. It was a struggle not to cry out or pant heavily as he ran, but it was important to stay quiet. They didn’t want to attract any more attention to themselves than they already had. His ribs hurt terribly and so did everything else, but his resolve to keep going was stronger. He could hear the sound of skittering footsteps behind them and he knew that meant they were being pursued, and it made his heart beat wildly in his chest, made his lungs burn with panic just as much as they burned with exertion.

Frank nearly lost his footing on a section of loose rock going around one bend, and there were several other instances in which someone else nearly fell, but they managed to keep going, and going, and going, and the footsteps and the agitated hissing still echoed behind them, bouncing all around the rock walls, and there were spats of language that Frank couldn’t understand, but that sent nasty chills rippling down his spine. He swore they’d gotten closer, but he didn’t want to look, knew that if he looked he might trip and fall, and his legs were cramping so badly he doubted he’d be able to get up again if that happened…

Jamia yelped and Frank spun around to see what had happened. As soon as he did, he could feel all the blood draining out of his face. One of the vampires had reached out and grabbed her hair, and she was struggling desperately to grab the dagger at her hip.

In a matter of milliseconds, Lindsey had hurled her dagger through the air straight for the vampire’s arm. It embedded itself just above its elbow and the creature let out an ugly snarl of pain, letting Jamia go in its shock, and Frank grabbed her hand and pulled her along as they began to run again.

_We can’t keep going forever_, he thought to himself. He felt like he could throw up, he’d been running so long, but he quickly pushed the thought to the back of his mind.

They took another corner, and another, and another, and another, and another, and another…

Another step, another step, another trip and almost-fall, another wheezing breath into pained, exhausted lungs.

Ray gasped and came to an abrupt halt ahead of them, and Lindsey nearly ran into the back of him. He put his arms out as if to keep his balance and as Frank caught up he realized why.

The ground dropped clean off in front of them. They were at the end of the tunnel, and it opened up high in the air above a deep, cavernous room within the cave.

Frank didn’t have a lot of time to take it in, but he saw the most important details, such as the sphere of fire suspended in the air, burning right at the center of the room, and the swaths of vampires gathered at the bottom, and the crack in the floor filled with blue light that was unmistakably the Fault’s.

“We’re gonna have to jump!” Ray whispered harshly.

The drop wasn’t fatal, but it would certainly hurt, and Frank wouldn’t be too surprised if one or more of them ended up breaking a bone. But before he could protest or approve or say anything else, Ray had already stepped off the edge. Frank cringed at the sound of him hitting the floor below.

Lindsey went next, and then Jamia, and Frank brought up the rear. He could hear the vampires in pursuit quickly approaching, could feel their fingertips brushing the back of his neck, and then he went too. Just in time.

There was a swoop in his belly for a few seconds before he landed awkwardly on his hip. It hurt like shit, it hurt so bad his vision went black for a second as the pain exploded all up and down his body, but he could tell nothing was broken that hadn’t been already. And quite honestly, with the sea of vampires that was currently swarming around him, broken bones were at the bottom of his list of concerns.

He scrambled to his feet and scurried forward, searching frantically for Ray or _someone_, when deathly cold hands wrapped around his ankles and took his feet out from under him.

Frank cried out when his head cracked against the ground. He couldn’t hear anything through the following ringing in his ears, couldn’t make anything out with how dizzy he was. But there were hands all over him that reminded him of what he’d experienced in the Woods, and there were mouths, and teeth, and tongues, and what felt like bloodied innards. And the stench of bodily rot caused Frank’s stomach to clench in disgust.

He heard a bellowing voice, and when he sort of came to again he was being carried by the swarm to the other end of the room, where the rock sloped upwards to create a bit of a platform.

Frank was dropped on top of it, and he laid in a heap on the ground until cold fingers wrapped around his throat and pulled him to his feet. He groaned in pain when he was struck hard in the stomach, coughed up a mouthful of bile. He could feel the vampires’ foul blood and bits of their organs stuck to his bare skin.

“Well, what do we have here?” a low voice said.

It was Thaddaeus. Frank was still disoriented, but awake enough to blink, rear back, and spit in the bastard’s face.

“Hm,” Thaddaeus said, with an expression on his face that was less than amused. “That’s how it’s going to be, is it?”

He backhanded Frank with so much force he swore it nearly snapped his neck.

Frank’s ears rang again. He was dazed. So, so dazed. Then there was another slap and he was thrown to the ground only to land on the same hip he’d already fallen on. At this point, he couldn’t even feel very angry. He felt too much like his body was about to give up and fall apart. He could feel something warm and wet pooling around his head and realized, with startling apathy, that it was his own blood.

“Get off of me!” another voice screamed. A flash of light filled the room that undoubtedly came from a magical source. There was an audible tussle and more shouts, more inhuman shrieks that made Frank want to cover his ears.

He wondered where Bert was. He wished he was there to help.

Frank heard another voice ask, “Is he almost ready?” but he couldn’t make out the response. He was drifting in and out of consciousness and everything was just a blur of color and light and his thoughts were all disordered. He wanted to go home and crawl into bed and sleep for a long, long time.

But then someone was rolling him onto his back and cradling his face in their hands. Frank groaned in protest and tried to move away from their touch as they started to shake him, trying to bring him back to full awareness. As some of the pain and the fog drained away from his mind, the blur above him slowly sharpened into a recognizable face, and Frank realized it was Lindsey.

Thaddaeus stood just off to the side, doing nothing to stop her but instead just watching in what looked like amusement. There was another bright flash that lit up the whole cavern and Frank realized those screaming voices were Ray and Jamia.

They weren’t dead. They weren’t dead. Not yet.

Lindsey eventually hauled Frank to his feet and both of them stood there, frozen, staring in terror at the chaos going on around them.

Ray and Jamia were both backed into a corner, holding bloodied daggers out in front of them, attempting to ward off the semicircle of vampires that hissed and spat and taunted them. However, there weren’t nearly as many concerned with the two of them as Frank would have expected. The bulk of the vampires were crowded around something at the center of the room, directly below the writhing globe of flame, and Thaddaeus watched it all from the top of the rise with a smug expression on his face.

Frank realized the swarm was gathered around Mikey. They weren’t saying anything, weren’t doing anything, but a part of him just knew.

He felt so crushingly, impossibly hopeless upon thinking about that. This was all about to be over, and not at all in the way he’d wanted it to be. They were all going to be destroyed.

In a flash, Thaddaeus’s expression changed. He sighed in annoyance and looked over at Lindsey, then somewhere behind the two of them, and two vampires rushed forward from the dark to grab both of her arms.

Frank realized Lindsey had had her eyes closed, had been mumbling something under her breath, and she continued even as the vampires dragged her away.

“Hey!” he shouted, and he tried to lunge after them, but suddenly Thaddaeus was there with his hands around Frank’s throat and his fingers pressing down so hard Frank feared his esophagus was going to give way, split clean down the middle.

The vampire dragged him over to the center of the platform, and there they stood. His fingers moved from Frank’s neck to rest threateningly over his collarbones and Frank stared out across the room with his breath stuck in his throat.

“Can you see it, Frank?” Thaddaeus whispered. “Can you see all the stars burning out, just because I asked? Can you see how beautiful we’ll be once all of you are nothing but traces of a pointless existence? Can you imagine immortality?” He pressed his frozen lips to Frank’s cheek, and he smiled. “Don’t be mistaken – nothing in this world will _ever_ bring me joy again, even once all of this is over. Hell itself pales in comparison to the pain brought on just by being made to see another day. The sun rises and it sets and it _never fucking ends_. Immortality, it’s…it’s the worst curse imaginable. And I will never be free of it, so all I really want is for all of you to share in the torment with me.”

Frank didn’t respond. He just stared as Jamia fired another bolt of magic before being tackled to the ground by a vampire with its lungs spilling out of its back. He heard her scream out, and if he hadn’t been frozen in his own terror, he would’ve surged forward to help her. Or tried to.

Ray sliced up every creature who came at him, one by one, until they all swarmed him and backed him right up against the wall, and he was dragged down into the hive, still fighting all the way.

Frank had thought he was unconfident before, a couple of nights ago, before any of this had even started, but now he realized that was nothing in comparison to this. They were so, so outnumbered from the start, by creatures who were far more capable than them to boot. How did they ever think they were going to succeed? How were they ever so foolish?

Now they were going to die. Everyone was going to die. And then they were going to live forever, trapped in Thaddaeus’s specially crafted hell.

Frank struggled against the vampire then, but he held him firmly in place. Whatever they were doing to Lindsey was obviously having an effect on the healing magic keeping him conscious, because Frank felt himself beginning to slump again, beginning to fall victim to the endless, endless pain in his skull. He could hear her cry out, could see her struggling to get away from the vampires who held her. One of them had an unidentifiable object pressed against her forehead, glowing a dull shade of purple, and she was sobbing like she was being killed.

Thaddaeus hummed, and Frank could feel it reverberate against his back. “Your efforts were valiant, Frank. Even I can admit that. You’ve come closer to us than anyone else ever has. And moreover, you took my favorite pet away from me. That wasn’t very nice of you, was it?”

“He’s not your _pet_, you sick fuck,” Frank spat, fueled by a new burst of angered energy. “He doesn’t fucking belong to you!”

Thaddaeus tutted. “And you’re both awfully naïve, aren’t you? I heard the promises you made to one another. I’m surprised you don’t recognize it doesn’t matter in the scheme of things.”

“Shut the hell up,” Frank snarled, choking when pressure was applied to the hollow of his throat. “You’re evil and disgusting and deluded. You don’t know what the hell you’re talking about.”

Thaddaeus only laughed at that.

The circle of vampires gathered in the center of the room began to chant, quietly at first. The same singsong chanting Frank had heard transitioning from the spiritual realm to the physical one. The airborne fire glowed brighter, bluer, colder. Frank felt like something inside of him was winding up to collapse.

After several excruciating seconds, Thaddaeus said, “Well, Frank, I believe it’s almost time. Would you like to do the honors?”

Frank hissed and twisted around as the vampire’s nails dug into his skin. “What?”

“Would you like to be the first?”

Frank fell still. The first? “What does that mean?”

Thaddaeus spun the two of them around so quickly it made Frank dizzy in his already-disoriented state, and as soon as he was faced with the now-intense blue light coming up from the crack in the ground, he realized exactly what it meant.

Fear coiled deep inside him. It was a kind he’d never felt before, like some desperate, primal survival instinct clawing at him, screaming at him in animalistic tones, demanding that he survive. But Frank’s entire body was rigid, and his mouth was open, and he was staring. He was just staring into the light and feeling it stare back into his soul, feeling it infiltrate him on the most intimate, exploitative level. It was cold and it was unfeeling and it was ripping him apart right here before he was even thrown into it.

Fuck no, Frank didn’t want this. He didn’t want to exist for the rest of time. He would rather anything else.

“No,” he said. When his voice finally dislodged from his throat, it sounded nothing like him. “Please, no.”

“Did I give you any such choice?”

With a final surge of adrenaline, Frank thrashed around in the vampire’s arms. “Stop it! Get your fucking hands off me! You can’t do this!”

Thaddaeus wasn’t listening. He pushed Frank closer.

“You can’t do this!” Frank screamed again as he stumbled forward. “You can’t torture billions of people! You can’t!”

“I most certainly can,” Thaddaeus said. “And I will.”

“Stop!” Frank’s voice cracked on the way out, and he realized he was crying. “Please don’t. I don’t want to. I don’t want to. Please just let me go.”

His toes hung over the edge of the rift now, and he was hysterical, not resigned to his fate in any way, shape, or form. He realized whatever bullshit people spewed about coming to terms with your death right as it was happening was simply not true. Either that or he wasn’t actually about to die, but Frank seriously doubted it was the latter.

“Damn it!” he twisted around and shoved hard against Thaddaeus’s chest. He wouldn’t go down without a fight. “You’re fucking sick!”

“I know,” Thaddaeus said. “That’s all I am anymore, isn’t it?” He leaned down close to Frank’s ear again. “But soon? Soon, it won’t matter at all. Nothing will. Not ever again.”

Frank stared down into the light, and he thought of Gerard. He thought of all their promises, and it felt like someone had taken a sledgehammer to his chest.

He thought about his parents. He really, really missed them. He wanted his mom.

Several faces went through his mind: family, friends, his parents again, especially his parents, and then Gerard until it hurt like absolute hell. It wasn’t even like Frank could take comfort in knowing he would see them again someday. He never would.

He felt a push, and this was it.

He fell. He fell for hours, days, _years_, he didn’t know. He just fell.

He fell in the wrong direction.

He landed hard on _that same fucking hip_, but honestly, right now, Frank couldn’t possibly care less. He sat up as quickly as his body would allow.

And there was Bert, right on the edge, still moving with the force of pushing Frank out of the way. He spun around just before Thaddaeus – who now looked impossibly, terrifyingly livid – could grab him, and he braced his arms against the vampire’s chest.

“You were fucking right!” he screamed, rage bursting his voice at the seams. The two of them struggled dangerously close to the edge, and Bert reeled back with his hand full of what looked like hot white fire. “It _is _a shame you ever decided to take me in the first place!”

There was a blinding flash, and a crack so loud it was as if lightning had come down from the sky and struck the ground right beside them, and there were terrifying, bloodcurdling screams, and then they both fell. And when the brilliant light dimmed, they were gone.

Frank counted ten long, excruciating seconds before all the sound was sucked out of the air. There was tension building up around him like the whole world was winding up to explode. It was horrible, impossible nothingness, but at the same time everything felt so _charged_, so hair-raisingly electrified, and the longer it built the more Frank began to realize what had just happened. Thaddaeus had just fallen into the Fault. _Bert _had just fallen into the Fault.

And suddenly, Frank was falling himself. In a horrible moment, he realized he had been too close to the edge, and the ground had caved beneath all the pressure building in the air.

He flailed and screamed and grabbed blindly for anything he could reach, but a hand wrapped around his wrist and broke his fall.

He dangled there, stunned, listening to the very universe rush around him. A second hand joined the first to pull him up, up, over the edge, and he was tugged against someone else’s chest, and it took him all but two seconds to realize who it was.

Frank looked up with bleary eyes. He couldn’t see the cave anymore; it was all just blinding light cycling through an array of colors he had never seen before and never could’ve imagined until this very moment. It looked like there were stars flying all around him – gas giants raging, spinning in all their fury. The ground was shaking, the fucking molecules in the air were shaking. Frank realized he couldn’t even _feel _the ground beneath his feet anymore, but he wasn’t falling now. He didn’t know where he was. All he knew was that Gerard’s face was there in the center of it all, loving and gentle and familiar.

Frank slurred out, “You caught me.”

Gerard smiled lovingly at him through the crystalline tears streaming down his face.

That was the last thing Frank saw before the shockwave hit, and then the whole world went black.

* * *

When Frank woke up, he couldn’t remember where he was. It was completely dark save for a dim orange glow, and for a moment he thought he was back in his bedroom and all of this had just been some crazy dream.

But when he registered the hard rock pressing against his back, he realized it had, in fact, been just as real as anything else. And now that some of his adrenaline had worn off, all the pain caused by his wounds hit him full force.

He would’ve stuffed his knuckles into his mouth to muffle the noises of distress rising up from his throat, but he feared moving would only make it worse. Whatever conclusion he’d come to that he hadn’t broken anything when he fell was absolute bullshit.

“He’s awake,” someone said. A warm hand grabbed his own and Frank automatically squeezed it, albeit weakly. A blurry shadow entered his line of vision.

“Mom?” his voice asked without him really thinking about it. He wasn’t sure why.

Well, he kind of was. Frank had this distinct feeling that he had just been with her. Not like how Mikey could sense Gerard watching over him before; no, this was different. It was like he swore he’d just seen her, but in a different place.

He vaguely heard the voice say something else, but he didn’t hear it because holy fuck. Had he _died_?

“Did I die?” he asked.

“Um,” said the voice. He recognized it was Jamia now. “I don’t know. You stopped breathing for a second, but it was just a second. You didn’t need, like, mouth to mouth or anything. Scared the shit out of me, though.”

“Sorry,” Frank said automatically. And then, “Jamia, I think I was dead.”

He came to this conclusion with a surprising amount of calmness. Then again, it probably helped that he was alive now, but still.

Frank couldn’t remember now what his mother had said to him, but somehow he knew they had spoken. And what mattered to him was that he knew that at all.

“Well,” Jamia answered after a moment of pause. “Maybe you were.” She took in a shuddery breath, and she squeezed his hand a little tighter. “But now you’re back.”

She said something else about patching him up, and he felt the familiar warmth of healing magic seep underneath his skin. Frank just relaxed and let it happen, let his mind drift away to the other conversations going on inside the cavern.

He could hear Lindsey and Ray talking in hurried, hushed tones. He caught bits and pieces of what they were saying, things like, “How are they gone?” “Where did they go?” and a bunch of other stuff that didn’t make any damn sense, especially whenever Frank’s head hurt as bad as it did now. He wanted to curl up into a ball and sleep for days. He didn’t want to think about any of this anymore or have to ask questions that were far too complicated for anyone in the world to answer.

But then he heard another voice in the midst of the other two, and _that _caught his attention because it was Bert’s.

But he…he fell, right? Frank had seen him. He’d tumbled right into the Fault and Frank had been so overwhelmed by everything going on that he hadn’t even had time to fully comprehend it, to feel the emotional blow that would’ve dealt him any other time. But here he was, apparently, and now Frank was beginning to think that his eyes had just fooled him somehow. There was no way Bert could come back from that shit twice. No fucking way.

God, his head hurt. He’d figure it out later.

Frank’s attention drifted away from Lindsey and Ray and Bert to the other voices just off to his left. As soon as he realized one of them was Gerard, a slow smile crept across his face, and if he hadn’t been nearly incapable of moving he would’ve rolled right over and reached out until he could wrap his arms around Gerard’s waist, kiss him long and slow and tell him how much he loved him, and thank him over and over again for holding on when the whole world was caving in around them, and just…_be _with him.

Wait a minute.

If Frank was lying here, not dead and definitely not a soul detached from his body, then that meant all of this was over, right? He didn’t understand how the world was even intact after that tremendous explosion, but that was another thing he resolved to figure out at a later date.

He asked Jamia. He asked if they’d done it; if they’d saved the world.

She told him in a tearful, smiling voice that they had done just that.

And Frank cried.

He didn’t know the kind of relief he felt upon hearing those words was even humanly possible. It was like the whole planet had been resting on his chest and now, suddenly, it was all taken away. All the dread, all the anxiety, all the guilt, all the terror; all of it. All of it was gone and it was the sweetest, most unadulterated bliss he had ever experienced. So yes, he cried. And his tears were a celebration.

They had done it. They had _actually _done it. They had saved the world.

Beside him, Gerard and Mikey’s conversation – the first they’d had in years – carried through the cavern.

“What? No,” Mikey was saying. “You didn’t fail.”

“But I _did_. They took you. They nearly-” Gerard cut himself off. “And I promised I would never let that happen.”

“But Gerard, this wasn’t under your control.”

“I don’t know. I wish I’d been there for you. Not just now – I hate you had to grow up without-”

“Stop.” Mikey’s voice was firmer now, less like he was dreaming. He was clearly still dazed after whatever they’d done to him, but it was a relief to hear him speaking. “Listen. Something terrible happened to you and it’s not your fault. _This _isn’t your fault.”

There was a pause.

Then Mikey said, “All I care about right now is that you’re really here. Fuck everything else. I’ve missed you more than you know.”

Gerard sighed, and he said quietly, “I’m just a ghost, Mikey.”

“You’re a ghost, but you’re still _you_. You’re still my brother. And I always knew…” Mikey’s voice was choked, and he had to pause to take a deep breath. “I knew it was you all along. You never left me, not really.”

Gerard sniffled. He was crying too, but it sounded like a good cry, like a relieved cry. And then Mikey was speaking again.

“And you’ll be okay. It’ll take time. It might feel like you’re lost, or like it’s a thousand lifetimes compacted into one, and I won’t lie to you – it hurts, and none of it’s easy, and none of it’s fair. But listen to me: you _will _be okay. I know you will.” A pause, and then, “I love you, and I think…I think everyone here right now loves you. You won’t have to get there alone.”

“…Mikey?”

“Hm?”

“I think I believe you.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> {Ozzy Osbourne - Under the Graveyard}
> 
> And there we have it! The epilogue will be posted in just a day or two.
> 
> In the meantime, I have a question: would you be interested in reading follow-ups to this story? Not a sequel, just a couple one-shots and/or a short multi-chapter. I would love to expand this universe some more, plus I have a few (significantly less angsty) ideas I'd be down to write. What do you think?
> 
> Thank you so much for making it this far with me. I'll see you in the epilogue. <3


	27. Epilogue

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (I have a new name! theoretically_yours to findingsaturn. I just thought I'd make a note of it here.)
> 
> Well, wow. I really cannot believe this is finished. This is my first big writing project I've ever completed and I think it'll always hold a special place in my heart. I’ve had such an awesome time with this story and I’m so glad that others have enjoyed it as well! Which honestly kind of blows my mind, and I appreciate all of you and all of your support very much.
> 
> So to everyone who's taken the time to read this, or left a comment, or given kudos - thank you so, so much, it means the world and I’m super grateful!! You've really made me smile and helped tons in motivating me to complete this.
> 
> I’ll be writing expansions of this fic in the future, so keep an eye out if you’re interested! I hope you enjoy the epilogue. As a heads up, it does contain sexual content near the end, but it's brief.
> 
> And to conclude, here's one last cosmically gigantic thank you for reading. <3

** _Summer 2004_ **

“You wanna go first?”

Frank looked down at the small silver key resting in the palm of Ray’s hand. He considered it, but he eventually decided to shake his head no. “I think you should.”

Ray frowned. “Nah, man. You started the business. It’s only right.”

“_We _started the business. And besides,” Frank reached out to fold Ray’s fingers around the key, then grabbed him by the arms and turned him to face the glass door, “it’s no wonder you’re always complaining about back pain. You know, when you’re carrying the whole thing on your shoulders.”

“What_ever_,” Ray scoffed. But nevertheless, he decided, “If you say so,” and smiled as he slid the key into the lock, twisted it, and pushed open the door.

The space inside was all gray and white and echoey and empty, but it was _theirs_, and they were sure as hell going to give it some personality. Frank had already bought cans of paint and thrifted some decorations and Ray had mentioned bringing over the box of horror memorabilia he had in his garage. Frank had said that might be a little on the nose, but then, that was the fun of it.

“Wow,” Ray said, looking around in wonder or pride or something along those lines, a huge grin spreading across his face. “Frank.”

“Yeah?”

“We get our own _desks_.”

Frank grinned as well. He walked around the space slowly and took it in, imagining how it’d look once they were all settled in and able to conduct their research, meet with clients, and do whatever else they needed to here. Everything about the prospect of having an actual office to operate from was so exciting, desks included. “What? Your living room floor isn’t doing it for you anymore?”

“Remember what you said about back pain?”

They walked around for a bit, brainstorming together, but didn’t plan on actually doing anything until they started moving in the furniture they’d bought so far. They’d planned on getting that done earlier in the week, but then they’d been out of town for an investigation that lasted two days longer than they’d originally intended. There had been a possession situation that turned out to not _actually _be a possession situation, just one catastrophic misunderstanding that had something to do with family drama and a lack of communication and theatre and fucking method acting, and…Frank didn’t know. It was so weird. So Ray had only gotten the keys to their new office space this morning and both of them – plus Jamia, who had decided to officially come on the team after she and Ray graduated in May, and was currently at home asleep like they should have been as well – were so exhausted they felt like zombies.

However, their current excitement was plenty enough to keep them awake and functioning for the moment.

“Dude.” Ray did a weird flailing motion with his arms and bounced up and down on the balls of his feet and- yeah, okay, maybe they were both a bit delirious. Whatever. “We’re gonna have a fucking _sign_. With our like- with our _name _on it.” He gestured emphatically towards the glass that made up most of the front wall. “On the _door_.”

Frank was beside himself laughing, but as odd as it might sound to anyone else, he totally understood why Ray was so amped up about that. This had been a goal of theirs for years and now it was finally happening. It was like they were the actual real deal. He could see it right now: “Malimore Paranormal Investigation Agency” with his and Ray’s and Jamia’s names just underneath it. Fuck yeah.

As they walked back out to the parking lot, Ray suggested, “We should all go to Ikea together. For bookshelves.”

“Ikea.” Frank shuddered. “Time is fucked in Ikea.” When Ray laughed and shook his head, he jumped to defend himself. “No, it really is, I swear to god!”

They debated back and forth about it as they locked up behind them – locked _their own office _up behind them, holy shit – and hopped into Ray’s car, where Frank blasted the AC because it was the middle of July and absolutely sweltering. They didn’t come to any conclusions except that they were going to Ikea on Sunday and they were taking Gerard with them, since he was the most qualified to say whether or not time was actually fucked.

Ray dropped Frank off at his house and Frank thanked him for the ride. Ray told him not to worry about it, just as he always did. It was like their routine.

As Frank walked up to his doorstep, fatigue began to creep back to the forefront of his mind again, but he welcomed it. It wasn’t the horrid, perpetual exhaustion he had experienced before. Rather, it was like a bed of sleep he was ready to sink into at the end of a long but fulfilling week.

Frank was truly doing what he loved, and he was eternally grateful for such an opportunity, and he was so proud of himself and Jamia and Ray and wouldn’t trade it for the world. But _man_…when he walked inside and found Gerard in the living room, wearing Frank’s pajamas and snickering at whatever he was watching on TV, Frank smiled to himself and thought that it was just really, _really_ good to be home.

“Hey there,” Frank said as he slid off his shoes and went to sit down beside Gerard. He’d only seen the other briefly after getting back home early that morning, right before Gerard went off to work and Frank headed to bed for a couple of short hours before he had to start research on a property he would go look at next Tuesday. His schedule was blissfully clear tomorrow and Sunday was their day off, so he felt he could properly relax now, slumping against Gerard’s shoulder and letting out a sigh of relief.

“Hey, Frankie.” Gerard put his arm around Frank and pressed a kiss to his temple, and Frank scrunched up his nose with a grin, turning his head to connect their lips.

They exchanged soft, sweet kisses and managed a few bits of conversation in between. After pulling away from one another, Frank snuggled up underneath Gerard’s arm again and told him everything about his work trip they hadn’t already talked about over the phone, and Gerard seemed thoroughly entertained (and rightfully confused) by the not-possession situation.

“And the thing is, it all could’ve been cleared up in a couple hours if someone had been willing to communicate with everyone and be the bigger person and _mediate_, but no!” Frank gestured wildly and Gerard just watched, knowing he was powerless to stop his rambling now that it had started. “I was like, ‘Well maybe you should just let me meet her and decide for myself,’ and they were all, ‘No fucking thank you, we know her _so well_, that won’t be necessary,’ and it was just-” he stammered for a moment, trying to find the right words, “the worst miscommunication I’ve ever seen in my life. It took me about five minutes of talking to her to realize she was definitely not possessed.”

Gerard blinked. “How did they not…?”

“I don’t know,” Frank said with a long, exasperated sigh. “It’s like, we went ‘cause they had a poltergeist, right? No big deal, most common type of case we get. And I knew they’d mentioned something about a possible possession, but I didn’t really think that would go anywhere, ‘cause nine times out of ten it’s just a false alarm and the client usually realizes it even before we do. It’s just some people get really scared, so it’s easy to assume the worst. And I don’t blame them or anything, because possessions are honestly fucking terrifying and dealing with them is a nightmare and a half. But this was just…I dunno. Almost like a case of folie a deux, because they were all _convinced_. It was so weird.”

“Have you ever had a real possession before?”

“Once,” Frank said. “It was a dybbuk – so a ghost, not a demon. Still really awful to see, but a little easier to handle.”

Gerard hummed. “You know, I wonder if the poltergeist had something to do with it. I mean, that family being _that_ adamant when it was so easy for them to figure out they were wrong.”

Frank turned to look at Gerard with wide eyes. “Hold on, you could be right. Why didn’t we think of that?”

Gerard just chuckled and shrugged.

“God, I fucking missed you, Gee. You _and_ your ideas,” Frank said. “I hope you can go next time.”

“Aw, I missed you too. I really wish I could’ve been there.”

Gerard had worked at the library with Lindsey for several months now, so they were both sort of “on-call” and helped out with cases whenever they had the time, or whenever they were needed. Gerard had been taking on some extra hours lately so he was available less often, but that was alright, especially since he absolutely loved his job. Helping people – with finding a certain title or with their paranormal troubles – and making them smile, even in the most everyday situations, was so fulfilling to him.

“Oh! Speaking of going out of town,” Frank said, “Ray wants to go to furniture shopping in LA on Sunday. You _gotta_ come with us, we already decided.”

Gerard laughed and nuzzled Frank’s cheek, giving the swell of his cheekbone a gentle peck. “Oh? Hell yeah, I’m in.”

Frank didn’t mention Ikea or the time fuckery thing. It was important that Gerard went in as unbiased as possible. This was official scientific research, after all.

There were a few things about Gerard that obviously indicated he was a spirit, such as not needing nor being able to eat food (unless it was _metaphysical_ food, which was apparently a thing, and luckily for Gerard, Jamia had taught him how to make it) or produce body heat, and possessing the abilities to teleport himself across space and just…not breathe for extended periods of time, among many other strange things. But with the help of a bit of magic to add color and warmth to his skin, he could pass as a living human being with ease, which meant he could travel outside the Forest of Souls.

By now, most people within the Forest – Malimore especially – had been made aware of what happened at the end of last year and therefore knew of Gerard’s presence. It was only fair, seeing as they all had vague, distorted memories of the chaos that had followed the Fault’s destruction and obviously wanted an explanation for it. Frank and Ray had taken care of that as quickly as they could, explaining the situation and why they’d had to keep it under wraps as best they could without absolutely, utterly terrifying everyone. Well, as little as they could manage, anyway. At the same time, they made sure the town knew they were safe now.

They were fairly fucking certain they would never be endangered in such a way again, but they were still vigilant. After the Fault had imploded as the result of Thaddaeus being thrown into it, the rest of the vampires has crumbled to dust as well. Thaddaeus served as the Fault’s lifeforce while the Fault, in turn, had kept him alive. He hadn’t created it, as it turned out, but he somehow managed to attach himself to it, and that was the whole reason he became what he was. It was all very confusing and complex and within a vein of science that Frank, nor anyone else, really understood yet. The rest of the vampires had decayed so rapidly because Thaddaeus’s magic was vanquished, and there was nothing left to keep them going.

Frank had half expected something similar to happen with all the souls they kept prisoner, but none of them had actually been sent to the afterlife dimension or anything else.

Ghosts didn’t exist naturally as other spirits did. There were a couple of reasons they could be stuck between the physical world and the afterlife that had nothing to do with anything the vampires had done, so they weren’t found exclusively in the Forest of Souls. But that was the most truly populous area – as far as Frank was aware – for obvious reasons. Most of his cases now had to do with setting those captive souls free. It was difficult, but it could be done, and it _had _to be done. He and Lindsey had come up with a way to break the bond between two souls as quickly as they could, and part of that process had to do with showing the trapped ghost how to let go of the physical realm – so long as they were willing, and all of them had been so far. It wasn’t nearly as simple as that, but that was the gist of it. Then they could be at peace in the afterlife, and rightfully fucking so.

Well, almost all of them had been willing. There had been only one exception.

At one point, Frank had asked Gerard if he wanted to go through that process. As heartbreaking as it would be for him, he wasn’t going to deny Gerard the opportunity to be at peace, to see his parents again.

Gerard had thought long and hard about it, and the conclusion he came to was that part of him definitely wanted that, but he knew if he went now it would be irreversible. And there was another part of him that really wanted to wait.

He had had his entire life ripped away from him and now that he had been given the opportunity to live it again – and actually have a positive experience doing so – he wanted to take it. He felt a strong need to be there for Mikey like he’d always wanted to be, and to use his experiences to help people and change their lives for the better, to set other captive souls free so they could be at peace. He’d begun to settle comfortably into a new life, made friends who he truly cherished. He’d also told Frank that loving him so, so deeply was a reason to stay in and of itself, and Frank had definitely shed one or two or three-hundred tears at that.

Gerard felt, as a ghost, that he was incredibly lucky to have circumstances that were worth staying for at all. He said he thought if his parents were watching over him that they would want him to wait, to be there for Mikey and to be in love and to finally live his own life to the fullest. After being stuck outside of time for so long, Gerard knew a human lifetime was really only a blip that he wanted to make the most of before he moved on. Sometime in the future, when it was Frank’s time to go, Gerard would go with him, and he felt at peace with that.

Frank had considered it himself. He was so afraid of selfishly cheating Gerard out of something that would make him truly happy. But in the end, he realized Gerard was being sincere. It greatly amplified his appreciation for just how close he was to him, the intimacy of their bond and the wonderful relationship they’d made of it, in spite of all the odds. What had started out as something shackling had turned into something beautiful.

And something else intriguing had come of all this as well. Most things hadn’t changed after they’d destroyed the Fault, but now that all the spirits were no longer bound to a dimension in which time didn’t exist, they were aging again. Frank and Ray and Lindsey had figured it out together, and Gerard said he could feel it, which…kind of sounded less than pleasant.

It was a bit odd, because technically they still existed outside of time as purely spiritual beings. And, you know, they were also dead. But then, Gerard technically shouldn’t have been able to physically manifest either, and yet he did anyway.

Frank and Ray speculated the way it worked was because they were no longer prisoner to the vampires’ dimension – which meant all the tension their bonds created wasn’t totally gone, but _very _subdued – the only thing they were still tethered to was their living companion soul, and now the sheer strength of their connection made them age at the same rate. It was kind of fascinating.

So, Gerard had had his first proper birthday in years and was pretty thrilled about it. That and the fact that his hair grew now too, because apparently that was part of it. He’d gotten bangs, and he and Frank had tried to dye it teal but neither of them knew what the fuck they were doing, so Gerard had somehow ended up with colored roots that, oddly enough, suited him really well. Frank didn’t know it was possible Gerard could get even _cuter_, but here he was.

Anyway, it seemed the only plausible way that all of this – the Fault’s implosion and everything else – could be undone was if someone went and expertly fucked with the timeline. But even then, it was such a major event that the most experienced time traveler would have a hard time bending reality enough to undo it. Frank and Ray both did enough studying to confirm that, with Bert’s help for added clarity.

Bert should know, of all people, seeing as it turned out he actually _had _fallen into the Fault; Frank’s eyes hadn’t deceived him. Lindsey had just barely managed to find him and wake him up in time and he knew the only way to actually get rid of Thaddaeus was by throwing him in. Bert had assumed it was going to kill him too, but just before he reached the point of no return he’d performed a variant of the spell he used to escape the time loop on the off chance that it would actually work, and then it had.

Frank swore the universe was just looking out for the guy or something. There couldn’t be any other explanation.

Bert had spent over a week in Malimore afterward ensuring Thaddaeus was gone for good and wasn’t going to cause any problems again, and helping Lindsey and Jamia to repair the damages done to Mikey’s soul during the attempted ritual. It had been nothing too major, but it had taken quite a bit of magic just to mend the fractures he’d acquired.

And, fortunately, Mikey was doing just fine now. Actually, in these recent months, he seemed to be better than ever.

He still traveled quite a lot – for work (his freelancing career had really taken off as of late) and to visit friends (he’d been going to see one particular “friend” in LA – Kristin – pretty regularly, and Frank and Gerard had done all their necessary speculating about _that_), and just for the hell of it. But he was home more now, and Gerard visited him often.

So, back to Bert – he’d gone back to San Francisco after making sure Mikey would be okay, and once a couple months of not really hearing from him passed, Gerard had decided he wanted to talk to him again. Just to see how he was doing.

In the end, after much thought and conversation and consideration, Gerard had told him he forgave him. Because Bert had worked to become a completely different person after years of being manipulated, of being consumed by anger and uncaring revenge, and Gerard said he proved it by never being so outright about it. He’d given Gerard his space, let his actions speak for themselves and attest to his metamorphosis. And Gerard didn’t tell Frank very much about that conversation, but he did say forgiveness was warm, like a place to rest. He’d felt truly compelled to give it in that instance.

The two of them still didn’t talk regularly for a while after that, but Bert had been passing through on Gerard’s birthday and had stopped by to visit him and Mikey and Frank, and honestly, Frank had really missed him. Bert had casually dropped into their conversation that he’d been hired to teach physics at SFSU in the fall and Frank couldn’t think of a more fitting profession. He was clearly very excited, and he had Gerard and Frank tell him all about the cases and the research they’d been working on and all the ways they were extending their services to the entire Forest of Souls rather than just keeping things local. He said he’d visit again for Halloween and told Frank to take good care of Gerard – and himself, of course – before he left. Frank had promised he would, and he had meant it with all his heart.

To this day, Frank was in awe of the fact that Bert had been willing to fucking _die_ for them. He’d never, ever be able to thank him enough. Especially because it had landed them here now, in a place where Frank was so content. Things weren’t perfect, not by a long shot, but in these recent months especially they’d really been getting better. Everything that had happened felt like it was a million years in the past.

Well. It wasn’t that simple, of course. Not at all. Some other times, it felt like it had been just yesterday. To say it wasn’t easy moving through life after something like that was a massive fucking understatement, because not only was it so much more difficult than “not easy”, but it was more than that overall. It was complex, layered and non-linear and a fucking process, a horrid tunnel of exhaustingly spiked emotions and nightmares and not quite recognizing yourself and feeling like your own mind had turned against you.

But, it was _possible_.

Frank had encouraged Gerard to seek help, talk to a therapist, do anything he needed, long before he realized he needed to do the same thing. He often found himself so focused on Gerard’s pain and his tendency to deny and suppress and compartmentalize it that Frank didn’t remember he struggled with those things as well, that he had been left with pain and fear of his own. He didn’t realize how important it was to _not _ignore that until it had begun to manifest in ways that put a lot of unwanted tension between himself and the people close to him, but himself and Gerard most of all. Realizing he needed to get help and focus on himself first and foremost was difficult in and of itself, but Frank had done it.

He couldn’t be so strong all the time, couldn’t abandon himself for everyone else. And healing was hard fucking work, and sometimes Frank had to remind himself over and over why he even _wanted _to put in all the effort in the first place. But even now, after the span of several months, he could see why it was worth it.

He was truly better for it. As were his friendships, as was his relationship with Gerard. Not pristine or anything, but significantly better.

So no, Frank wasn’t perfect. Gerard wasn’t perfect. Things definitely weren’t perfect, but they were both making an effort. To openly communicate and be there for one another, to build each other up, to remain unshakably bonded while still making sure not to lose sight of themselves or become all too dependent. Not only did being alive versus not alive, and being a physical versus a spiritual being, make a major difference in their methods of processing in ways Frank hadn’t even considered, but so did being two different people in the first place. And honestly, some days healing felt nearly fucking impossible, but those days were dwindling as time went on. Their relationship was far from being some magical cure-all, but perhaps that’s what made it so meaningful. Because they were determined to persevere for one another – even if it was hard, even if it took work, and it _was _worth it. It was _so _fucking worth it.

It wasn’t always hard, though. Especially not now. Things became better and better. Recovery was slow and it wasn’t always as steady as they would’ve liked it to be, but the darkness was melting with time, and they were learning to thrive in the face of what remained. At the end of the day, Frank loved Gerard completely, and he knew Gerard loved him the same. They found the purest joy in one another and in the life they shared.

Frank realized this all over again as Gerard’s voice cut through the slumber he’d fallen into. When he blinked open his eyes, he was still on the couch, and Gerard was beside him running his hand through his hair. All the lights were off save for the one over the stove and now Frank vaguely remembered talking to Gerard as the sun set, then falling asleep against him to the rhythm of his breath and the sound of the television.

“Let’s get you to bed, love,” came Gerard’s voice, so sleepy and warm it made Frank’s heart flutter in a way only Gerard could really elicit. “Come on.”

Frank followed Gerard to their bedroom in a tired fog and changed into a pair of sweats, then slipped off his shirt. Gerard came up behind him then and kissed the back of his neck sweetly, bringing his hands up to Frank’s shoulders so he could massage away the tension there.

“Mm, that’s nice,” Frank sighed. He sank back so easily against Gerard’s chest, the cool press of the ghost’s hands undoing all the knots in his muscles, alleviating the soreness accumulated, the feel of his lips gliding across Frank’s jaw giving him goosebumps.

The all-consuming feeling of connection and intimacy and contentedness that came along with being wrapped up in Gerard’s embrace, with being in his presence overall, felt a bit less out of the ordinary now. That’s not to say it wasn’t still the best thing ever, because it certainly was, but it didn’t shock Frank like it used to. Rather, it was a pit of embers in his chest formed from a previous searing blaze, warm and calm and just right.

Frank really took this moment to appreciate it. He closed his eyes and felt their closeness wrap around every single particle that made up his being, washing through his soul like a breath of fresh air so sweet it was surely heaven-sent.

“I’m just so happy I’m home,” Frank said, turning himself around so his chest was pressed against Gerard’s and wrapping his arms around his neck, pushing himself up on his toes so he could tuck his face into the crook. The kisses he planted there weren’t so sensual as much as they were blossoms of pure affection, appreciation, but they grew in eagerness as Frank was overtaken by the warmth swelling in his chest. “Right here.”

Gerard’s hands traveled down Frank’s back. Then his arms wound around his hips, pulling him closer. With a smile in his voice he said, “I love you so much.”

“I love _you _so much.” Frank’s lips pressed against the other’s then, just for a second. “Gerard…thank you. For loving me so well. Because you really, really do.”

Gerard’s eyes softened and became a bit glassy at that. His hold tightened. “Oh, Frank, I- There’s no need to thank me. I couldn’t have asked for anyone better to love. You’re incredible, you really are. I know you love me just the same, and…” He trailed off for a moment. “Thank _you_. Thank you for not giving up on me.”

Frank’s own throat felt tight as emotion cascaded within him. “I would never dream of it.”

A few minutes later, they fell into bed still wound up in one another’s arms. Some of the sleepiness tugging at the corners of Frank’s mind dissipated as Gerard kissed him senseless, and he eventually rolled the both of them over, pressing Frank down against the mattress. They shared soft, blissful laughter between one another’s lips.

And they moved together in the quiet. The dregs of the setting sun appeared as a faded red glow, thrown against the wall and against Gerard’s skin, and he whispered praises into the air and into Frank’s ear and charted his skin with his fingertips until everything else melted away. Frank’s hands gripped Gerard’s shoulders as he moved up and down in his lap, all of it languid and unhurried and blurred around the edges with impending sleep. He welcomed the burn in his thighs and the soreness he knew would follow later as a marker of a precious memory, a reminder of love. And Frank felt almost dizzy with love every time Gerard squeezed his hips or kissed him hard and moaned into his mouth, and when he held Frank close to his chest and shuddered as he came, and when he spoke the sweetest and most simultaneously heated words as his hand moved over Frank’s cock, and by the time it was all over both of them were glowing with a sheen of contentedness.

They cleaned one another up, all gentle touches and whispers of affection. Gerard dressed in Frank’s pajamas again, the ones he’d been wearing previously, and Frank felt it was only right to make things even, so he grabbed one of Gerard’s comfiest shirts that he tended to borrow (“Steal,” Gerard would have playfully interjected) on a regular basis anyway.

Frank turned off his bedside lamp. When the two of them settled down beneath the sheets, he could feel Gerard’s fingertips brushing his own – a gentle reminder he was there, and he still would be in the light of morning. Eventually, the latter rolled over and wrapped Frank up in his arms, held him close and cherished him, and they breathed together.

“Sometimes I just think about how grateful I am…” Frank whispered. “That you were there to catch me.”

It had been on his mind as of late. He wasn’t entirely sure why, but it wasn’t really a negative thing. It was just…well, he didn’t know. But he and Gerard hadn’t spoken about it since soon after it happened.

Gerard knew what Frank was talking about right away though, and he said, “So am I.” His fingers ran along Frank’s back and then tangled in his hair, coiling it gently around his fingers, the action slow and thoughtful. “You know, even if the whole world gave way all over again, I’d still do everything I could to make sure I was there to hold you.”

His breath was cool and familiar against Frank’s ear. And something beautiful and indescribable was now overflowing within the latter’s chest, pouring out from the edges of his heart and consuming him, and even if he could put it into words he wasn’t sure he would want to. It was his.

Frank tipped his head up to kiss the corner of Gerard’s mouth, looked deep into his ghost’s eyes sparkling with the dim light filtering in from the streetlamps outside, sparkling with love.

“I would catch you too,” Frank said. “I always would.”

Gerard smiled, and he was radiant. “I know. You already have.”

**THE END.**


End file.
